When I get to the hospital building, I walk past a boy from Cottage 14 who has clearly taken a beating, and up the stairs, and take a seat outside Eadie’s room. There are two boys there ahead of me, but they don’t take long. I have spent a great deal of time sitting outside Eadie’s room and I can tell you that boys take far less time than girls in there. I don’t know if they have fewer problems, or if they tell her their problems quicker.
After half an hour the second boy comes out and Eadie appears in the doorway and beckons me into her office.
‘Ahhh, the lovely Miss Lesley Beaton,’ she says. She is wearing a twinset. I never knew what a twinset was until I met her (‘How come your jumper and cardigan are both the same colour, miss?’). She’s the only person I’ve ever seen wear one. This one is fawn with black trim. Her skirt is black, her shoes are black. You can see, like everything else in her life, she thinks about it.
‘Miss—’
‘It’s Eadie, Lesley, you know that.’
‘Those deid girls, Eadie, is someone tryin’ to kill us? Does someone want all the girls deid, Eadie? Does someone want to rape us an’ kill us? Why do they want to kill us and rape us? Do they rape us then kill us or kill us first? I would rather be killed first before I am raped, but I dinnae want either to happen.’
‘Calm down, calm down,’ she says. ‘Now take a deep breath.’
‘I wee’d my bed last night. No one knows because I took off the sheet and hid it in the cupboard then turned the mattress over. I never wee the bed. I don’t want to be killed, Eadie.’
She gets up out of her chair and puts both her hands on my upper arms and holds me. She looks at me until I look back.
‘Breathe slowly, Lesley, breathe slowly and calm down.’
I didn’t realise how scared I was until I started speaking.
‘Something shocking has happened, and it’s natural to be scared, but let’s look at things rationally. What has happened is rare – very rare. There is every chance no one else will be hurt. The deaths might not even be connected, it could just be a terrible, terrible coincidence.’
‘Miss – sorry, Eadie – it cannae be a coincidence. Even I know that.’
‘Maybe not, but it is rare. And you are safe and you are well and your friends are well, so let’s not be afraid of things that we needn’t be afraid of.’
‘So there is a mass murderer? Like Peter Montrose?’
‘We don’t know, but you can’t go around spreading panic, understand? I am talking to you as if you were an adult. You are a bright girl, Lesley, so I am going to treat you as such. Yes, it looks as though both girls were murdered. Yes, you should be careful, but no, you should not be scared. You can’t spend your life being scared.’
‘Yes, Eadie.’
‘Now I want you to know that there are going to be police officers patrolling the Homes to make sure everyone is safe. People take your safety very, very seriously, so we won’t let anything happen to you.’
‘Yes, Eadie.’
‘So what have I just told you?’
‘Dinnae say nuthin’ to no one, miss.’
‘Now it’s time for my question.’
‘Yes, miss?’
‘Is everything all right with you, Lesley? How have you been feeling about your family situation?’
‘Oh yes, I … I sorta forgot about it. I was angry but then my gran explained some of it, and with everything happening with Jane and Sally, I’ve been forgetting to be upset about it.’
‘Well that’s one good thing to come out of this.’
‘Miss, that’s naughty, you shouldnae say that.’
‘You’re right, Lesley, I shouldn’t make jokes, sorry. But what I will say is, if you do get upset about it, you come and tell me. Yes?’
‘I will.’
‘Right, on you go.’
With that I get out of my chair and smile as I wave goodbye. Then I leap down the stairs and run back to the cottage to Jonesy.
When I leave Eadie I always feel like I have a new coat of paint on me. I go in feeling tatty and run down and I come out feeling ready to face the world with my bright new colours.