KEEPING IN TOUCH
Noah: hi, cutie
Me: hi, babe
Noah: thinking about you
Me: thinking about you too. Where r u?
Noah: math
Me: r u coming over after school
Noah: yes please
THE HOT DAYS OF FEBRUARY
Noah spent the next few weeks at our place. Now that basketball had ended, he had lots of free time. We didn’t have sex every day. But we did most days. We were working our way through the many condom packs Noah had bought during the thunderstorm.
It was nice. Not just the sex part, but the after-sex part. My favorite moment was when we cuddled and his chest was pressed against mine and I could feel his heart beating.
Life was good. Noah and I were better than ever.
Vi was hooking up with Dean.
I had money in my bank account.
I had a hot tub.
I had a car. Not that I used it too often—Vi preferred to take hers.
I traced the letters I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U. on his back.
“You too,” Noah murmured.
BUDGET FOR DAD
What I Spent in February
Rent |
$200.00 |
Groceries |
$200.00 |
Cosmetics |
$50.00 |
Clothes |
$50.00 |
Cat Food & Care Entertainment |
$100.00 |
Hot Tub Semiprivate Swimming Lessons |
|
Miscellaneous |
$400.00 |
Total |
$1,000.00 |
INVISIBLE VI
Vi’s Issue came out on March 4.
“I don’t get it,” I asked her. “How come your article isn’t in here?” I stood by my locker and flipped through the pages. I saw an article about safe sex. An article about abstinence. An article about teen pregnancy. An article about STDs. A playlist of songs to make out to. But where was Vi’s “It Happened to Me”?
“I made an editorial decision to leave it out,” she said nonchalantly.
“But . . . after everything you did? You were so excited about writing it!”
Her mouth opened to say something but then her face fell. “I couldn’t.”
Huh? “Why not?”
“I don’t know! I tried. And tried. But nothing came out.” She slammed her fist against my locker. “What’s wrong with me?”
I laughed. “You like him.”
“I do not!” She sighed. “This isn’t good. I can’t like him.”
“Why not?”
“It made me mushy! I couldn’t write about him. I can’t do something that’s going to make me weak.”
“Liking someone doesn’t make you weak,” I said.
“It makes you lose yourself,” she said. “I’m proof. No. I have to put an end to this thing with Dean. Immediately.”
“Vi,” I said, wanting to tell her that she was not proof of any sort of weakness and that it made my heart hurt to hear her say that.
She scanned the hallway. “Aha. Pinky.”
“What are you doing, Vi?”
“Getting my mojo back,” she said, and hurried down the hall.
THE FIRST TIME I MET PINKY
“Why is her name Pinky?” I’d asked Vi back at the beginning of my sophomore year. Pinky was only a freshman then but had signed up to work on the paper.
“Unclear.”
“Is it for the color? Did she like pink as a kid?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t noticed her wearing an abundance of pink.”
“Maybe it’s after the finger? Perhaps she has a very versatile pinkie?”
“What, like it can lift a hundred pounds or something?” Vi asked, laughing.
“She’s barely a hundred pounds herself.” I didn’t want to dislike Pinky on sight but . . .
She was Miss Teen Westport.
Literally. Right before starting high school she had secured the crown. And she was a gazelle. Tall, long limbed, blonde, and stunning. Everyone stared. Guys. Girls. Me. Noah. Not that I thought Noah was going to hit on her or anything, but you couldn’t look at her and not be jealous.
“Don’t be that person,” Vi said, wagging her finger.
“What person?”
“The person who tries to bring Pinky down because she’s so gorgeous. It’s antifeminist. She’s cool. Young. But cool. And smart too. I see her as my protégé. Yes, entering the Miss Teen Westport pageant was misguided, but since she was fourteen at the time, I blame her parents. Obviously she needs a solid role model.”
“You’re right, you’re right,” I admitted. “I won’t hate her for no reason.”
But if she even looked at Noah, she was a dead girl.
AND THEN EVERYTHING WENT WRONG
Noah was over, but he left around six, just after Vi got home. I noticed he did that a lot, but I didn’t want to make it an issue.
When Noah left, I did some calculus homework and Vi paid some bills. Then we started cooking. We ate. Then we took our nightly Hula soak, while hoping to avoid pneumonia.
Vi called Joanna, but there was no answer. “She’s seeing someone new,” Vi said.
“Good for her,” I said.
“But bad for me. She’s been totally MIA.”
Vi’s cell rang, and she checked the caller ID. Then she let it ring again.
I dunked all the way down until my chin floated on top of the water. “Aren’t you going to get that?”
“It’s just Dean,” she said.
“What, wham, bam, thank you, monsieur? You won’t answer his calls now?”
“Not if he keeps calling. Again and again. We are not in a relationship.”
“I knew this would happen,” I said. “You can’t just have sex with someone and expect everything to stay the same.”
“Yes, I can. I did. And he should too. Is your relationship so different now that you’ve had sex?”
“Not different,” I said. “Just . . . better.” More intimate. “What would be so wrong with having a relationship with Dean?” I wanted her to have what I had. To be as happy as I was.
“If we’re in a relationship then I have to look out for him. Be responsible for him. I don’t want to be tied down like that. I want to go to college free and clear.” She looked away. “I told Pinky she should go for him.”
I couldn’t believe she was being so dumb. She was so smart about so many things, but not about this. I hugged my knees. “You’re going to keep in touch with me, aren’t you?”
“Wanna come with me? You can transfer schools.”
“I wish.”
“What are you going to do anyway? I don’t mind if you stay here but . . .”
I did not want to think about next year. Maybe I could just stay here. I’d just tell my dad Vi was going to school in Connecticut. It’s not like my dad would know the difference.
“We’ll see,” I said.
My cell rang. Noah.
I picked up. “Hey, can I call you back?”
“Hello to you too,” he said, and laughed.
“Sorry, we’re just in the tub.”
“Of course you are. You guys are going to turn into prunes.”
“Come over and join us.”
“I can’t. Would you do me a favor? Can you just check if I left my cell at your place? I can’t find it anywhere.”
“If I find it will you come get it?” I asked flirtatiously.
“Maybe.”
“Fun. Then let me look.”
Vi made a whipping motion with her hand. I stuck out my tongue. I would not let her fear of relationships rub off on me. I threw my towel over my shoulders and got out of the hot tub. Even though it was already March it was still cold. There was still snow on the ground although not on the deck. “Be back in two minutes,” I said, and then, barefoot, hurried inside and down the stairs.
“Call it and we’ll see if it’s here,” I told Noah.
Two seconds after disconnecting, his phone rang from behind my futon.
“Find it, Donut, find it!”
Donut scurried toward the sound and dug it out of a twisted sheet.
“Good work, Donut!”
She batted it with her paws. “Meow!”
I untangled the sheet and answered. “Donut to the rescue,” I said.
“Meow!” Donut bolted out of the room and up the stairs.
“Way to go,” Noah cheered.
“So now you’re coming over to get it, right?”
“I should. But the ’rents have been giving me serious guilt about never being here and I promised I’d watch some TV with them. Can you just bring it to school tomorrow?”
“Booo. But, yeah. Can do.”
“Cool. I’ll call you later, though, ’kay?”
“Yup. Love you.”
“You too.”
I studied his phone. Thin. Black. It would be wrong to read his texts, right? It would be wrong to see who he last called. Only crazy girls did that. Girls who weren’t in love. Noah and I were amazing.
I tossed the phone on my bed. If there was something he didn’t want me to see he wouldn’t leave the phone here overnight, would he? I think not. I laid down on my futon, soaking the duvet with my wet bathing suit. My heart raced. Just in case . . . I clicked open his texts. One from me. Another from RJ. From RJ. From . . . whose number was that? Was that Corinne’s?
What time you coming?
Coming where????
Oh. I knew that number. It was his brother. I exhaled. I kept scrolling and scrolling, scrolling back a week, two weeks, three . . . since before we slept together . . . and there were no sketchy texts. Nothing. Nothing weird at all. I hugged my towel to me and headed back up the stairs.
The house was freezing. I stepped onto the deck.
“You forgot to close the door,” Vi said, head back, eyes closed.
I shut it firmly behind me and ran back to the hot tub. “Sorry.” My limbs sank into the delicious warmth. “Ahhhhh.”
“Everything okay?”
“No,” I told her. “I’m crazy.”
She nodded. “We’re all crazy. What’s your specific form of crazy?”
“Noah left his phone here and I read through all his texts.”
“Uh-huh. Why?”
“To make sure he wasn’t cheating on me with Corinne.”
She nodded again. “Do you think he’s cheating on you with Corinne?”
“No. Things are amazing with us. That’s why my craziness makes no sense.”
“Not no sense. It’s not like you’ve never encountered cheating before.”
“You mean Noah?”
“Nooooo.”
“Oh,” I said, getting it. “You mean my mom.”
“Yup.”
“So I think Noah is my mom?” I asked.
She nodded. “Or you think you’re your dad.”
“Maybe,” I said. I looked over at her. “And you’re afraid that if you fall for Dean you’re going to end up like your mom.”
“I would never let that happen,” she said adamantly. “When my so-called father left my mom, she had to give up everything. Guys suck.”
“Why do you think people cheat?” I asked.
“Because they’re bored? Because they can? Because they’re selfish and think they’re entitled to anything they want? Because they don’t think they’ll get caught?”
I closed my eyes. Poor Vi. Poor me. I opened them when I heard a screech of tires from the road in front of our house. “What was that?”
“Bad driving.”
The car continued on, zooming down the rest of the street and over the bridge. Without headlights.
“What is wrong with people?” I asked, shaking my head. “Who drives without headlights?” Who leaves his pregnant girlfriend in another country? Who abandons her child?
“Crazy people,” Vi said, with a sigh. “So what did you find in Noah’s phone? Anything suspicious?”
“No,” I said. “Nothing at all.”
“Good. Then stop worrying.”
I tried to let my shoulders relax, but they were not cooperating. Something was nagging at me, but I wasn’t sure what.
ANOTHER TIME I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG
I was in fifth grade and my father had come home with a dozen roses.
“Are those for me?” I’d asked. Roses were the prettiest flowers I’d ever seen. Sleeping Beauty had roses.
“They’re for your mother,” he’d said, giving me a kiss on the forehead. I’d been disappointed, but the gesture made me happy. Someday I would have someone who brought me roses. I wasn’t sure why my dad had brought flowers but I guessed they were having a fight. My parents’ door had been closed a lot lately, and not at night, in the good way.
“Mom! Mom!” I screamed. “Daddy brought you flowers! Come see! Come see!”
My mother stayed in the kitchen.
“Mom,” I’d said. “Come see!”
“I’m doing something, sweetie,” my mother said. I didn’t understand what could be more important than roses.
Eventually my dad took off his shoes and his coat and carried the flowers into the kitchen. They were wrapped in thin pink wrapping paper, the tops peeking out.
“For you,” he’d said to her.
My mom looked up. “Thanks. I guess I should put those in water.”
“I can do it.”
She sighed. “I got it. Dinner in five.”
He nodded and then went upstairs.
“Don’t you love roses, Mom?” I asked. “Are they your favorite flower?”
She sighed again. “No, orchids,” she said, and then ripped off the paper and cut the bottoms under running water.
“Mine are tulips,” I said. My dad trooped back in and I turned to him. “Dad, Mom’s favorite flowers are orchids! And mine are tulips. Next time, can you get those instead?”
His face fell.
“Roses are my second favorite,” I said.
Something in my stomach felt funny, like the beginnings of the flu.
STILL CONCERNED
The nagging thought that something was wrong continued through my post-Hula shower. And then when I was doing more homework. And during my nighttime call to Noah. And then when I was trying to fall asleep. Something wasn’t right. But what? Was it guilt? Possibly. The right thing to do was to tell Noah I searched through his phone, but I was confident that wasn’t going to happen. Was it my feelings of suspicion? Possibly. Had my mom screwed up my ability to trust for life? Also possible. It was so quiet. I stared at the ceiling. I flipped on my back. I flipped on my stomach. I sat up in bed. That was it.
It was too quiet. Where was Donut?
“Donut?” I called. I padded up the stairs. “Donut?” I asked again.
Donut spent her nights in the basement. Ever since Valentine’s Day she had taken to falling asleep on my bed with me. Maybe she fell asleep upstairs?
“Donut? Here Donut, Donut. Where are you?”
The stairs creaked as I climbed them. When I got to the landing I opened the door and peered around the living room. No Donut. I checked under the couch. Around the kitchen. Maybe Vi knew. “Vi?” I asked softly. “Are you still up?”
“Yeah,” she answered. “What’s up?”
“Have you seen Donut?” I asked.
“Doesn’t she sleep downstairs with you?”
“Usually,” I said. “But I can’t find her. I haven’t seen her since . . .”
When was the last time I saw her? When she had found Noah’s phone. Then she ran upstairs.
Where I had left the back door open.
The back of my neck felt cold. “Do you think she got outside?” I whispered.
“I didn’t let her out,” Vi said.
“I left the door open. Remember?”
“Shit.”
I ran to the back door and pulled it open. A blast of cold air attacked my face. Vi flipped on the outdoor lights. “Donut?”
No Donut.
I looked out at the Sound feeling sick. The water looked cold, dark, and menacing.
“Do you think she could have . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“Oh God, I hope not. Can’t cats swim? I think cats can swim.”
“Not if the water’s freezing.”
I ran outside toward the shore.
“April! You’re not wearing any shoes! Or a coat! Plus, your hair is wet—”
I ignored her and hurried down the stairs of the deck. I was cold. But Donut! If she was in the water, then she was definitely colder than I was. I couldn’t believe I’d left the door open. How dumb was that? How irresponsible! What was wrong with me?
Once I reached the ground, and the snow, I stopped in my tracks. Yeah, running through the snow in my bare feet was not a brilliant strategy. Frostbite would not help my search. Luckily Vi was behind me with my Uggs and a coat. I stuffed my feet inside, pulled on the sleeves, and scurried down to the rocky sand.
The lights from across the way illuminated the water.
“You’re not going to jump in are you?” Vi asked. “Hula’s one thing, but this—this would be crazy.”
“I guess not,” I said, looking out. A weight pressed against my chest. “Do you think she’s in there?”
“I don’t know,” she said, her voice wavering.
“Donut!” I called. “Come here, Donut!” I ran down to the floating dock and looked out, calling her name all the while.
“I bet she’s not in the water,” Vi said. “She’s not an idiot. She figured out how to work the remote, didn’t she?”
“True.” I looked back at the Sound. The tide was low. “Do you think she could have gotten around the fence and made it to the road?”
“What, you think she ran away? She’s too good for us?” Vi laughed a squeaky, un-Vi-like laugh.
“Maybe she was exploring and got lost.”
“She might not even have left the house,” Vi said. “She could be hiding under my bed as we speak. Or maybe she figured out how to get in the oven. She loves that oven.”
“You check inside,” I said. “I’ll look around in front.”
“’Kay.”
The door to the fence was open. Not wide, but wide enough that something Donut’s size could squeeze through. Uh-oh. I pushed through and ended up to the left of the driveway.
“April?” I heard. Lucy was standing on her porch. “Is everything okay?”
“No,” I said. “Donut’s missing.” I passed my car and looked at the street.
“Donut?” I called. “Are you there? Dooooonut! Do—”
I saw her.
In a ball on the road, near the sidewalk. “Donut!” I called.
She didn’t move.
I hurried over to her and crouched in the middle of the street. She looked up at me and blinked. Her eyes looked terrified. She shivered.
“Get Vi,” I called to Lucy.
I stroked the back of Donut’s head. Poor, poor, Donut. I’m sorry, Donut. My eyes prickled with tears. A few seconds later Vi and Lucy were both beside me.
“Someone hit her,” I said, my voice shaking with tears.
“Omigod. Is she . . .”
I scooped her up. “She needs to go to the vet.”
BAD THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
It happened at around one A.M.
My dad was on a business trip to LA. My brother was in bed. I was in bed. My mom was in bed. I couldn’t sleep. I had a math test the next morning. Seventh-grade math was not my specialty. I heard my mom’s voice. I assumed she was on the phone with my dad. I picked up.
I don’t know why they didn’t hear a click. But they didn’t. I was going to say hello but they seemed to be in the middle of a conversation. So I waited. And listened.
“Tell me what you want to do to me,” my mom said.
“I’ll tell you,” a voice said. “I want to take my lips and kiss all the way down your body.”
My first thought was—gross. My second was . . . that voice is not my father’s. That voice is not my father’s.
They kept talking. It was dirty. It was awful. It was my mother, saying dirty awful things to a dirty awful person who wasn’t my dad.
My face was hot but I was too frozen to hang up. Waves of emotions crashed over me as I sat under my covers, gripping the phone. Nausea. Fear. Betrayal. Hatred. How could she do that? To my dad? To us? I held on to the phone, not saying a word. Not making a sound. Maybe I was dreaming. But the words kept coming. Until I couldn’t listen anymore. I didn’t want to hang up in case they would hear it and then they would know I knew. So instead I unplugged the phone.
There. It was dead. I felt dead. I hid under my covers. My brain buzzed. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. My body started to shake.
I huddled under my covers and shook until morning.
BUMPY RIDE
Vi drove while I held Donut and purred, “Donut, Donut, you’re okay, aren’t you?”
I called our vet but the message referred us to an emergency vet open on nights and weekends. Lucy directed Vi to their office while I continued to pet Donut. She was not moving. Her eyes fluttered open every few minutes and then closed again.
“I can’t believe we killed our cat,” Vi said.
I blinked back tears. “Vi! We didn’t kill Donut. She’s going to be fine. We have to be positive. Right, Donut?”
“This is so awful. Is she still breathing?”
“Yes!” Not just breathing. My leg felt warm. Pinkish cat urine had soaked through my pajama bottoms.
When we arrived at the vet we were the only ones there. With rounded shoulders I held Donut out in front of me very, very carefully. She lifted her head. I burst into tears. “She got run over. It’s my fault, I didn’t close the door. Is she going to be okay?”
A technician in a white coat came right over to us. “Hello, little friend,” she cooed. “You don’t look so good, but we’re going to take care of you. Why don’t we all go into the exam room?”
Vi and I followed her while Lucy waited in the reception area. “Good luck,” she called to us as we walked down the hall.
The exam itself was a blur. Donut tried to sit up but started gasping. The doctor felt her abdomen and listened with a stethoscope. Donut was crying in pain.
I think I was too.
“We need to take some X-rays,” the vet said.
I nodded and she wheeled Donut away.
A COMPLICATED SITUATION
“I’m concerned that there are many things going on,” the vet said when she returned. I leapt to my feet. She held out a printout in front of her. “One, she has a pelvic fracture.”
“Okay,” I said. “What needs to be done for that?”
“Usually a pelvic fracture just requires cage rest and pain medication. But Donut also has a bilateral fracture in her hind leg. We might need a specialist for that . . . but the real concern is the diaphragmatic hernia. Basically it’s a division between her chest and abdomen. Bowel loops and intestines can get inside the chest. She’ll need surgery for that. Immediately.”
“Then do it,” I choked out.
The vet hesitated. “It’s risky. She could die on the table. We’d be opening up the chest.”
“Is she going to die if we don’t do it?”
The vet nodded.
“Then we don’t have an option,” I said, my arms fluttering by my side.
Vi stepped up beside me. “How much is the surgery?”
“With the X-rays and IV and tracheal tube . . . and then the fractures . . . about three thousand dollars.”
Shit. I must have turned white because the vet smiled sadly and said, “If you can’t afford to do that, putting her to sleep is the kindest option. Otherwise, she’d be in a lot of pain.”
“Oh my God,” I said. I was going to be sick. “We can’t kill her. I’ll find the money. Can we pay in installments?” Installments was my new favorite word.
She hesitated. “Not if you’re under eighteen. Can one of your parents come and sign for you?”
My shoulders sagged. “No. I don’t think so. But maybe they’ll give us the money.”
Vi grabbed my shoulders. “Can we talk about this for a second?”
“I’ll be right back,” the doctor said, excusing herself.
“April, it’s a lot of money. Three thousand dollars? That’s insane.” She leaned against the examination table.
“We can’t just let her die!” I wailed. I sat down in the corner chair.
“It’s three thousand dollars! I don’t have three thousand dollars! You don’t have three thousand dollars!”
“My dad gave me my allowance a few days ago,” I said stubbornly. “I have six hundred left.”
“But you need that money. For food. Stuff. And you just paid off Hula.”
“So we can pay off our cat!”
“I just . . .” She shook her head. “I don’t have that kind of money. I have maybe five hundred in my savings account. We can use that.”
“Let me talk to my dad,” I said, pulling out my phone. “I’ll ask him for the money.”
“Hello?” he answered sleepily.
“Daddy?”
“April? What time is it?”
I glanced at the clock above the examining table. “One thirty. I’m at the hospital,” I began.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding panicked. “Which hospital? I’m getting on a plane.”
“No, Dad, I’m fine. I’m at the pet hospital. It’s Donut.”
“You’re eating a donut?”
“No. Dad. My cat’s name is Donut.”
“Didn’t your mom give away your cat because she couldn’t take it to France?”
“No, it’s my new cat!” I hadn’t told him about Donut in case he objected. “I got a cat. When I moved into Vi’s. But I left the back door open when”—I definitely never mentioned buying Hula—“I came inside. And she got run over by a car. And she needs to have surgery or she’s going to die. And it’s expensive.”
He sighed. “How much?”
“Three thousand dollars.”
Pause.
“April, you can’t spend three thousand dollars on a cat.”
“It’s not a cat,” I said, feeling panicked. “It’s my cat. And Dad, I have to! It’s my fault she needs the surgery! I can’t let her die.”
“I’m sorry, Princess, but that’s just crazy. You’ve only had the cat for, what, a few months? You never even mentioned you had a cat. I’m not giving you three thousand dollars to pay for cat surgery. You’re not being rational. Why don’t you sleep on it? In the morning I’m sure you’ll realize that I’m right.”
I couldn’t decide if he was being heartless or if I was being ridiculous. But I couldn’t let Donut die. I wasn’t just going to abandon her. “Maybe I’ll sell the car.”
“You are absolutely not allowed to sell your car,” he said. “That is not your car to sell. It’s in Penny’s name.”
Great. “Dad, I gotta go.”
“I’m sorry, Princess. I’m really sorry about your cat.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. Not sorry enough to save her. “Bye,” I said before hanging up.
“No go?” Vi asked.
“No go,” I said.
I called my mom next. At least it was morning there. I led with: “Any chance you want to give me three thousand dollars so I can save Donut?”
She responded with, “I wish I had three thousand dollars. What happened to Donut?”
I spilled the story in a rush.
“Did you ask your father?”
“He won’t help.”
“Typical.”
I shut my eyes. “Mom—not now.”
“Call me when you get home?” she said.
“Yeah. I have to go.”
“I’d give you the money if I had it,” she added.
“This coming from the woman who left her cat in another country,” I mumbled.
“What, hon?”
“Nothing. Bye.” I hung up. “Do you want to try your mother?” I asked Vi.
“My mother does not have an extra three thousand dollars.”
“Anyone else we can ask?”
“Noah?”
I didn’t know if he had access to that kind of money but I could try. I dialed his cell and listened to the voice mail. “Oh right, his cell is at our place.”
“Can you call his house line?”
“At one thirty in the morning?”
“It’s an emergency,” Vi said.
My heart pounded as I dialed the number. I hoped he answered. “Hello?” his mother squeaked.
Aw, man. I should’ve hung up. No. Caller ID. They knew it was me. That’d be worse. “Hi, Mrs. Friedman,” I said, cringing. “I’m so, so sorry to be calling so late. Is Noah there?” Obviously he was there. It was the middle of the night.
“April?”
“Yes.”
“He’s fast asleep. Can I tell him you called in the morning?”
“Oh.” Now what? Insist that she wake him up so I can borrow money?
There was a rumble and then we heard a “Hello?” Noah.
“Hi,” I said. “It’s me.”
“I got it, Mom,” he said.
“It’s late, Noah.”
“Sorry, Mrs. Friedman,” I said. “It’s an emergency.”
“All right. Good night. Noah, I’m here if you need me.” Finally, she hung up.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Donut got hit by a car,” I said, sniffing.
“Oh shit. Is . . . did . . .”
“She’s still alive. We’re at the vet. She needs surgery. Three thousand dollars’ worth. And I don’t have the money. I asked my dad and my mom and Vi doesn’t have it either. We probably have eleven hundred, nine if we want to eat. So I was wondering . . . do you have it? I would pay you back. In installments. I could pay you at least five hundred a month until I paid it off. What do you think?”
He paused. “That’s a lot of money. My parents would kill me.”
“So . . .” I held my breath.
“I can’t.”
He can’t. He can’t or he won’t? I knew he had money in his bank account. Bar mitzvah money. “Never mind.”
“Where’s the vet?”
“It’s Norwalk Emergency.”
“Do you know who ran it over?”
“Ran her over. Not it.”
“Her.”
“No. I don’t know who did it.” What kind of a jerk runs over a kitten and doesn’t even stop, anyway?
“Oh, April, don’t cry.”
“I have to go.” I hung up. “Well, that was a bust.” My face burnt from the humiliation. “What now?”
“Marissa?”
“She has zero money. Joanna?”
“Same.”
“Lucy?”
I shook my head. “Last resort. What about Dean?”
“Dean’s always broke. But you can ask Hudson.”
“Me?”
“Yes! Hudson gave her to you.”
“But that’s even worse. He gave me a present and I killed her.”
“You didn’t kill her. We’re going to save her. You should ask Hudson.” She looked up at me. “He has extra cash. Plus, he likes you.”
I flushed. “He does not.”
“Trust me. He does. He thinks you’re the hottest girl in Westport. Call him. He’s up. He’s always up.”
The hottest girl in Westport? Was that a joke? It wasn’t that I thought I was ugly. But there were many girls more attractive than I was. Like Pinky.
Wait. Stop. Donut.
“I don’t even know his number,” I said.
She reeled it off to me from her cell’s contact list. I dialed. What choice did I have?
He answered after two rings. “Hello,” he said, all calm as though he normally got calls at two in the morning. Which he probably did. Teacher calls. Sex calls. Drug calls even. Maybe he dealt to Ms. Franklin. No. Maybe?
“Hey, Hudson? Sorry to bother you—this is April. I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor.”
“What’s up?”
I couldn’t keep the tears out of my voice. “I . . . we’re at the vet. Donut had an accident. They won’t do the surgery unless we pay them up front and we’re short twenty-one hundred dollars. You seem to always have extra cash on you and I wondered if I could borrow some. I swear I’ll pay you back. I get money from my dad once a month, so I can give it to you in installments and—”
He didn’t hesitate. “Where are you? I’ll be there in ten.”
PARTY AT THE VET’S
Hudson met us in the waiting room in fifteen. Not that I was complaining. “This is the second time you came to my rescue,” I said, looking up at him. He thought I was the hottest girl in Westport? Insane. Especially coming from the guy who could be the hottest guy in Westport. Those cheekbones. Those blue eyes.
He blushed. “Don’t worry about it.” He handed a credit card over to the receptionist.
He motioned to Vi and Lucy, both asleep on the couch. “Dean is doing a Starbucks run. There’s a twenty-four-hour one down the street. He’s getting Frappuccinos for everyone unless I call and tell him otherwise.”
“That sounds great,” I gushed. “Thank you, guys. So much. And I’ll pay you back as soon as I can. Starting next week.”
“Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal,” Hudson said.
The receptionist ran the card through and then handed it back. “The doctor will start the procedure in about twenty minutes. You guys can go home or you can have a seat. It’ll probably be a few hours until we can see how she’s doing.”
“Thank you,” I said to her. “I think we’re going to stay.” I looked over at Hudson. “You guys don’t have to stay, though. Obviously.”
“We’ll keep you company. We have nothing else to do.”
“Psht,” I said, waving my hand. “Who needs sleep?” I was giddy with relief. Donut might not make it, but at least she had a chance. “Seriously, Hudson, it is a big deal. I swear I’ll pay you back.”
He nodded. “I trust you. If you think it’s worth it, then it’s worth it.”
I stared at him. Noah hadn’t trusted my judgment. My dad hadn’t either. “But why? You barely know me.”
He smiled. “There’s something about you. . . . You don’t screw around.”
I swallowed. Our eyes locked. What did that even mean? I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so instead I asked, “How do you happen to have so much extra money?”
He smiled and took a step closer to me. “Does it matter?”
I thought about it. “No. I’m just curious.”
“You think I’m a dealer?”
“No,” I said, embarrassed. “Maybe.”
“So you’d take my money even if it was drug money?”
“Oh, now you’re testing my ethics.”
He nodded. “Yup.”
“No, I wouldn’t take it.”
He shrugged. “Then I guess I can’t help you.”
“Seriously?”
He cracked another smile. “No. I can still help you.”
I motioned to the empty row of seats across from the sleeping Lucy and Vi and we sat down. “But, Hudson—where, or who, is the money from?”
He put his feet up on the table. “If I told you I’d have to kill you.”
I put my feet up beside him and kicked the side of his shoe. “Lines like that make people think you’re up to no good.”
He continued smiling. “I like a little mystery. What else do these people say?”
“I’ve heard a few career ideas tossed around.”
“Such as?”
“Gigolo,” I said. “Boy toy.” Then felt my cheeks burn up.
He laughed out loud. “Seriously? That’s awesome.”
“You’ve been spotted entering single women’s houses at odd hours.”
He laughed. “Like who?”
“Like Ms. Franklin’s.”
His eyes widened and he laughed even harder. “You think Ms. Franklin is hiring me for sex?”
“I didn’t say that. You asked what people are saying.”
“What do you think I do?”
“Model maybe?” I blushed again as soon as I said it. Now he knew I thought he was hot. He thought I was flirting with him. Was I flirting with him? It was easy to flirt with a guy who you knew thought you were pretty.
He laughed. “I have been told I have a nice ear.”
“And what would an ear-model model exactly?”
“Earmuffs? Earphones? Q-tips? My ear could get a lot of work.”
“Can I see this glamorous ear?”
He bent his head closer to me. “Not bad, huh?”
“Nice size. Not too big, not too small. Flat. Not too much lobe. Excellent ear. How’s the other one?”
“Not as good. It has a weird Spock-like bump on the top.” He turned to show me. “Feel.”
I giggled. What was I doing giggling at Norwalk Emergency? “You want me to feel your ear?”
“It sounds weird when you say it like that. Just touch the edge.”
I reached up and rubbed my finger against the top. His skin was cold and smooth and soft. His hair tickled the tips of my fingers. Warmth spread through my hand, and up my arm and down my spine.
“Hey,” Hudson said, looking toward the doorway.
I followed Hudson’s gaze and dropped my hand. Noah. “Hey!” I said. “What are you doing here?”
He shuffled from side to side. “I thought you might want company,” he said. “But it seems like you already have some.”
“I . . .” My heart raced. I jumped out of my seat. “Hudson lent me—lent us—the money.”
Noah eyed Hudson warily. “Wow, man, that was big of you.”
“No problem,” he said, returning Noah’s look.
Dean showed up then carrying a cardboard tray of coffees. “Who knew the most happening place to be at two A.M. on a Tuesday was the Norwalk Vet Emergency? Frappuccinos?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to go,” Hudson said, standing.
“You don’t have to,” I added quickly, touching his jacket sleeve. Then I dropped my hand. “I mean, go home if you want to. Obviously you don’t want to hang out here.”
He zipped up his coat. “Good luck.”
“But I just got here,” Dean said. “And I already drank half my Frap. I can’t go to sleep now.”
“I can drop you off later,” Noah said. “If your brother wants to take off.”
“Cool. Thanks, man.”
Hudson waved and headed to the door.
“Thank you,” I called after him.
He winked and let the door swing behind him.
Dean placed the tray down on the table. “I brought six. Would you like one, Marcy?” he asked the receptionist, reading her nameplate.
“Sure,” she said. “Don’t mind if I do.”
Vi stretched her arms over her head and opened one eye. “What’s going on here?”
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Dean said, sitting on her lap. “I came to rescue you.”
“Your brother came to rescue us. What do you have to offer?”
“My body?”
Vi shook her head. “Not interested. Anything else?”
A hurt expression crossed Dean’s face, but he quickly washed it away. “Would you be interested in an icy, dessert-y coffee drink?” he asked with a flourish of his hand.
“Oh, that I’ll take.” She looked up at Noah. “Hey. You’re not Hudson.”
Did she want to torpedo my relationship as well as her own? “Noah came by,” I said. “To keep us company. Hudson just left.”
“But he gave you the money?”
Not helping, Vi. “Yup. All good.”
Noah looked at me quizzically. “So. Hudson gave you three thousand dollars.”
“Actually, I only needed twenty-one hundred. And he didn’t give it to me. It’s a loan.”
“Why?”
“Because I needed it?”
“But why would he lend it to you?”
I crossed my arms. “Because he trusts me to pay him back? Because he doesn’t want Donut to die?”
Vi smirked. “Noah, are you jealous that Hudson saved the day instead of you?”
Noah ignored her and turned to me. “Can you come outside with me for a sec?” He marched out the door. I followed. The air bit my skin. I didn’t remember where my coat was but it wasn’t on me.
“April,” he said, “a guy doesn’t lend a girl two thousand dollars. Unless he wants you.”
“We’re just friends,” I said.
“Then why were you touching him?”
“I was feeling his”—this was going to sound weird—“ear.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Is something going on with you two?”
“No! Of course not!” I laughed. “You don’t really think I’d do something like that, do you?” Did he think I was . . . my mother?
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t. I just don’t like some other guy hitting on my girlfriend.”
I nodded. “I’ll pay him back. As soon as I can.”
“I bet this was all Vi’s idea,” he grumbled. “She’s such a bitch.”
“She is not! Noah!”
“She wants to hook you up with Hudson so you guys can be a little foursome.”
“You’re acting crazy.” What was his problem? “First you’re jealous of Hudson. Now you’re jealous of Vi?”
“I’m not jealous,” he said. “I don’t like when you get bossed around. And Vi is always bossing you around.”
“She is not.” What was happening? Things had been amazing—the best they’d been in months—and suddenly the ground we stood on was covered in cracks. One misstep and we’d fall through.
“She is. I know you think she’s God’s gift to—”
“Noah—not now, okay?” I couldn’t deal with this here. I just couldn’t.
He looked at me. He must have seen the pained expression on my face because he pulled me into his arms. “Sorry.”
“Can we go back in?”
He held open the door.
Inside, Dean was scowling. “If you don’t want me to be here, I’ll go home.”
“You don’t have to be here,” Vi said.
Dean sighed. “I know I don’t have to. I don’t have to do anything.”
They looked up at us and then back at each other.
“You know what?” Dean said. “I think I’m going to call a cab.”
“I can take you home,” Noah said. “And then I’ll come back.”
“You don’t have to come back,” I said quickly. Maybe it would be better if I was just here with Vi and still-sleeping Lucy.
“I know,” he said, kissing me on the forehead. “But I want to.”
I hesitated, then put my arms around him. “Thank you.”
“I love you.”
“You too,” I said.
After they took off, I turned to Vi. “What was that about?”
She waved her hand in the air. “He was being way too boyfriendy. Clingy. Not cool.”
“But he came to keep you company.” I drained the last of my coffee.
“Did I ask him to do that? No, I did not.”
Lucy groaned in her chair. “Did I hear something about coffee?”
I handed her a Frappuccino, then leaned the back of my head against the wall. “I’m tired.”
“Me too,” Vi said. “It’s almost three.”
“Lucy, do your parents know where you are?” I asked.
“Nah. My mother took two sleeping pills before bed. She’s out cold.”
“What about your dad?”
She looked up at me. “He died.”
“Oh.” I lost my breath. “I didn’t know.”
“Cancer,” she said.
“That sucks,” Vi said.
My eyes stung, but I blinked them away. Here I was worrying about my cat, when she had lost her father. “When did it happen?”
“Four years ago.”
“I’m really sorry,” I told her.
“Yeah, well . . . shitty things happen.” She motioned to the waiting room. “Did you see the car that hit Donut?”
“No,” I said. I wanted to know more about her dad, but I didn’t want to push her if she didn’t want to talk about it.
I sat back up. “But we heard it. When we were in the hot tub. Vi, Do you remember?”
“Omigod, I do,” Vi said.
“And you know what was weird? The car that did it didn’t have its headlights on.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I remember that.”
“So why would someone be driving by our house with their headlights off?”
“Maybe the headlights were broken,” Lucy said.
“Or maybe they didn’t want us to see them,” Vi said.
“That’s crazy,” I said. “Who would do that?”
“I don’t know,” Vi said, narrowing her eyes. “But I’d give anything to find out.”
Maybe my dad was right. Maybe bad things did always happen after ten P.M.