Bahar parks her rolling suitcase on the platform and gives Minoo a long, warm hug.
‘Dokhtare azizam,’ she says. ‘Take care, now. And we’ll meet again very soon, I hope.’
‘I hope so, too,’ Minoo replies and really means it.
She doesn’t want Bahar to leave. It’s true that the atmosphere has been tense and weird during her visit, but at least Mom and Dad have behaved in a civilized way to each other.
Bahar turns to her sister and hugs her for even longer, whispers something in her ear. When they let each other go, both have tears in their eyes. They clasp each other’s hands one last time and then Bahar climbs on board the train.
The doors shut with a shushing sound, the wheels start turning. Minoo and her mom stand and watch until the train has vanished from sight.
The silence between them is paralyzing. It follows them into the car and stays with them all the way as they drive from the station.
Mom parks a short distance from the school and switches the engine off. She faces Minoo and visibly pulls herself together. As if she is finally ready to speak the truth.
But that glued-on smile comes back on her face instead.
How can she believe that I’m tricked by that smile of hers? Minoo thinks. She who’s always going on about how one mustn’t suppress one’s emotions?
‘There now, have a nice day, Minoo.’
Suddenly, Minoo isn’t prepared to put up with this charade for a second longer.
‘Are you getting divorced?’ she asks.
Mom looks shocked. It makes Minoo even more furious. Did she imagine that this conversation could be avoided for ever?
‘What is going on between you?’ she asks when her mom doesn’t answer.
‘This is something for your father and me—’
‘And Bahar.’
Mom goes rigid.
‘Has she spoken to you?’
‘No, she hasn’t, but it’s so obvious that she knows. And that Dad knows that she knows. Why should Bahar have a better grip on what happens in our family than I do?’
Minoo feels tears welling up. But she is not going to let herself go. She needs to demonstrate that she is strong enough to cope with the truth.
‘I didn’t want to burden you with all this,’ Mom says.
‘Don’t you realize that this is a burden? You refuse to let me know anything about what the real issues are. I am simply supposed to accept that you two fight all the time. I do live in the same house as you. In case you hadn’t noticed.’
Mom’s hand clutches the steering wheel so hard her knuckles go white.
‘My dearest child …’ she says and her voice breaks. She is silent for a moment and then tries again. ‘I understand you, of course. I truly do. And I’ll tell you what there is to know. You are quite right to say that it affects you, too. Affects you very much. But I had to try sorting it all out in my own mind and that is why I spoke to Bahar. I can promise you one thing. The problems are entirely between your dad and me, it is not your fault—’
Minoo interrupts her.
‘Of course it isn’t! Do you think I’m a five-year-old, or what? I can’t go on with things being like this. Fix your problems, go into therapy, whatever! Or just get a divorce!’
‘Minoo …’
But Minoo throws the car door open and sets out to walk to school. She swallows her tears, swallows the hurt, the guilt and the anger. Swallows and swallows until the whole mess has become a hard little lump in her chest.
When she reaches the schoolyard, her first thought is that she must have missed something. Is it some kind of theme day?
Students in bright yellow polo shirts are clustered at the main entrance. Some of them are talking excitedly. Others are handing out flyers and stickers. Somebody has tied yellow helium balloons along the stair railings. More balloons are floating about, tied to the top bar of the solitary soccer goal and to the branches of the dead trees.
It doesn’t dawn on Minoo what it is all about until she recognizes Rickard among the yellow-shirted crowd.
‘Minoo!’ Linnéa shouts.
She is just coming through the gate.
And she is the complete opposite of the army of baby chickens at the school entrance. Black hair, back-combed and held by a large bow made from a ribbon of black lace. Short black dress, torn net stockings and black ankle boots. Whole lakes of black make-up around her eyes.
‘Yay, Positive Engelsfors,’ Linnéa says disgustedly as they walk towards the entrance. ‘Their reproduction rate must be something else.’
Minoo tries to avoid the collective gaze of the yellow hordes as she and Linnéa come closer to the stairs. She is still feeling raw after the exchange in the car. Defenseless. Without any filters between herself and the rest of the world.
‘Hello and welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives!’ a rather good-looking guy says as he tries to push a flyer into Minoo’s hand.
‘No, thanks,’ she says.
He beams at her.
‘Why such a gloomy face? Have you had lemons for breakfast?’
‘This is a bad day, that’s all.’
‘Only you yourself can change that!’
‘Move over, Mehmet. And do your part by shutting up,’ Linnéa says.
‘Bad attitude, guys!’ someone shouts at them as they enter the school.
Minoo and Linnéa look at each other.
‘The first day of the rest of our lives?’ Linnéa says. ‘Seriously?’
‘Sounds like a threat,’ Minoo says.
Linnéa laughs and Minoo smiles. The jagged lump in her chest softens a little.
‘Where are these people going?’ Linnéa asks.
Minoo looks around and notices for the first time that around her and Linnéa people are drifting towards the assembly hall.
Except for that blue-haired girl. She is walking towards them.
‘Linnéa!’ she calls.
Her white foundation doesn’t manage to hide the dark rings under her eyes. In fact, it enhances them. It might actually be the idea. She is wearing a long black T-shirt. On the chest, the words ‘THE GOOD DIE YOUNG’ are written in red, blood-spattered letters. The print looks home-made.
‘Hi, Olivia,’ Linnéa says. She suddenly sounds weary.
‘Oh, hi,’ says Olivia without looking at Minoo. ‘The first period today is canceled – there’s some kind of event in the assembly hall.’
Minoo exchanges a glance with Linnéa. Could it have something to do with Adriana?
‘They say everybody has got to be there, like, it’s mandatory, but they probably won’t check,’ Olivia continues. ‘Wanna leave?’
‘Can’t,’ Linnéa says.
Olivia lifts her vigorously penciled-in eyebrows.
‘Diana is after me,’ Linnéa says. ‘From now on, I’ve got to be a good girl every single second.’
Olivia stares crossly at Minoo, as if she blames her for her bad influence making Linnéa refuse to play hooky. Then she walks away without saying another word.
Minoo and Linnéa go with the flow. The assembly hall is almost full and the only free seats are in the front rows. They sneak into the fourth row, just behind Vanessa and her friends.
When they settle down, Vanessa turns around.
‘Do you know what this is for?
‘No,’ Minoo says.
Vanessa looks at Linnéa.
‘How did things work out yesterday?’ she asks. ‘I tried to get hold of you—’
‘I can’t bear talking about it,’ Linnéa interrupts without looking up.
‘Fine by me.’ Vanessa sounds fed up and turns away from them.
Minoo glances at Linnéa, who is absently fiddling with one of her cuticles.
Minoo wonders what happened. She doesn’t dare ask. When Linnéa is in a mood, silence is the safest policy.
The yellow polo shirts march in and fill the half-empty front rows. There are more of them than just the group Minoo saw at the entrance. At least half of Engelsfors FC has changed their red-and-white colors for yellow. Minoo searches the lines and notices Kevin among them, but thankfully not Gustaf.
Applause starts up in the front rows when Tommy Ekberg steps out on the stage. For once, he is wearing a shirt that doesn’t cause migraine straight away. He looks confused, as if uncertain whether to take the applause as ironic or genuinely encouraging. When he steps up to the lectern, the clapping stops abruptly. He clears his throat and leans towards the microphone. The spotlights make his bald head shine.
‘Hello everyone. I don’t know if the rumor has gone around already … But, I regret that I have to confirm the fact that our principal, Adriana Lopez, has left us …’
A murmur fills the hall and Tommy Ekberg seems to suddenly realize his unhappy choice of words because he adds, speaking more loudly: ‘No, no! What I meant to say was that she has left her post. For personal reasons. I am acting principal until … yes, well, simply until further notice.’
He strokes the back of his hand across his temple as if to wipe away drops of sweat. At least he doesn’t seem to take pleasure in his new power.
‘But I believe that, as with everything else that happens in one’s life, it is important to see this change, not as negative, but instead as the beginning of a new and exciting stage. We must be forward-thinking. Together! And that is why we are all gathered here today. All of us at Engelsfors High School have joined in a unique collaborative project with a unique organization. Our school will offer a positive way forward. And this new spirit of ours will inspire everything we teach, from social sciences, to sports, to mathematics.’
He takes a deep breath.
‘However, in math we must surely still use negative numbers,’ he adds, with a spasmodic wink.
Minoo wishes she had an I-am-embarrassed pillow to hide behind.
But the front rows laugh enthusiastically. Tommy looks more cheerful.
‘And now, it is time for me to hand over to a pro! Ladies and gentlemen! I have the honor to present the lady who fired the shot that started the new future for Engelsfors – Helena Malmgren!’