CWS-3

ENTERING THE SHEILA-NA-GIG

Guided Meditation

The ultimate spiritual mysteries are those that pertain to the self that have practical applications. Sometimes the message we receive when exploring is universal in nature, sometimes it is gender-specific, but always it applies to the individual at whatever stage of spiritual development and physical-world difficulties she finds herself. The guided meditation in this chapter is designed to allow you to accept the invitation of the Sheila-na-Gig to enter her realm of mysteries.

Guided meditations are one of the most potent tools we have for aligning ourselves with the energies of deities and mythic figures. They force us to test the limits of our personal power as they stimulate our deep minds to facilitate interaction with the divine and stir our creative selves to wakefulness.

Guided meditation can be best defined as a structured mental journey into the inner or archetypal or astral plane for the purpose of making a lasting change on both the conscious and subconscious mind. The spiritual uses of this type of meditation are as old as the art of storytelling itself, a skill highly regarded by both ancient and modem Celts. Using ancient myths and legends, storytellers transported many persons into other worlds and back again without most of them realizing this inner transformation ever took place.

Most guided meditations will work for you just as they are written, but they should always be considered as maps-schemes that show the starting and ending points of a journey, but that offer you a myriad of options for traveling the roads in between. As you work with one set of guided images over and over again, the beings who populate them will become familiar to you, and will step out of their prewritten roles to offer assistance and insight far beyond the scope of the original meditation. This is as it should be. It is a sign that you are truly working in another realm of existence, and that your presence has been accepted there.

The guided meditation in this chapter may be used as is, or be broken down into smaller components as needed. It may be changed, adapted, reordered, or rewritten as your needs dictate. At various points along the path there are places where you are offered the chance to leave the meditation. If you do this, you may return later at any time to explore its other aspects. You may want to read through the meditation in advance and make some tentative plans on how you think you may want to progress. Everyone learns at a different rate. Some women may wish to take each teaching one slow step at a time, and others will want the full range of learning all at once. There is no right or wrong way. The choice is yours to make.

You will note also that it makes use of an alternate form of Celtic circle structure, one that does not work through directions and elements in a circular pattern but evokes the east, south, north, and then the west, a representation of an arm from the symbol known as Brighid’s Cross (see Chapter 6). You are certainly welcome to reorder the meditation if you prefer to use a circular pattern, but it is recommended that you make the west the last point in the meditation, since this is the place of power in most Celtic traditions, the direction from which the greatest knowledge can be obtained.

Guided meditation can be a powerful tool for self-exploration and change, and entering into it should not be taken lightly. Make sure you are in a receptive and reverent frame of mind, and have only the highest of intentions. As you keep working with this technique you will eventually find that you are fully projecting your consciousness into these images, an art that is known as astral projection. These places you will visit exist as much inside as outside of yourself, and you should never assume that this inner-self aspect somehow makes them not “real.” The mind is the seat of all creation, the place where all magick is born, and it is a very fluid and real place where your every thought has consequence and form.

The sections in the meditation marked off by brackets [] are either clarifications of terms and words used in the text, or are instructions to the one who is reading the meditation aloud. These sections are not to be read aloud to the journeyer—a name I use for the person making the inner world or astral world voyage—nor to be considered part of the body of the meditation. You may prerecord the path and play it back for yourself, or work with a partner who will read the text to you. If you are unfamiliar with the practice of guided meditation, unsure how to achieve the altered state of consciousness necessary for successful inner-world work, or unsure how to ground yourself afterward, please refer to Appendix E for a full discussion, instructions, and tips.

Sheila-na-Gig Meditation

Close your eyes and slow your thoughts; breathe rhythmically and deeply, center your spirit, relax, and let go. Focus inward and outward, drawing your consciousness away from the physical world.

Know that you are protected by your own inner powers and by the love of the Goddess. If you wish, at this time you may mentally call out to your Goddess and ask her help and assistance, or you may wish to weave some other mental magick for the protection of your physical body as you start to become unaware of it. You may also ask her for protection and guidance in your spiritual travels. [Pause to allow the journeyer time to do these things. Three to five minutes should suffice.]

Know that you are always in control and that you have the power to return to full waking consciousness at any time you choose. If you wish to return at any point in your journey, you can do so by thinking the words “I am home.” Thought is action on the astral plane. This simple act of will, constructed in a cohesive thoughtform, will trigger both your subconscious and conscious minds that you wish to return immediately to your normal consciousness, and it will immediately happen. You can then open your eyes and go about your daily life unharmed.

Knowing that you are protected and in control, you can fully relax. Take one more deep breath and release yourself to the experience that the Sheila-na-Gig aspect of the Goddess has in store for you at this time.

Will yourself free of the confines of your normal consciousness and allow yourself to pass through the void that separates what we think of as “reality” from the Otherworld. [Pause for a moment to allow this visualization to take place.]

When your inner vision clears, you find that you are standing in the court, yard of a small stone temple. All around you is the silence of a dense, primeval forest. In the courtyard of the temple is a small well from which two streams flow: one blood red and the other snow white. Knowing that your destiny lies beyond the door, you step over the well. As you do you seem to hear a celestial chord playing from deep within yourself, as if you are merging in harmony with something greater than yourself.

As you walk up to the heavy wooden door, you see that the carving upon it is of a large Sheila-na-Gig. You study the image for a moment, trying to learn all you can about her. Is she smiling secretively or not? Do her lips seem pursed in silence, or ready to impart mysteries to waiting ears? And what is the secret of her gaping void? On impulse, you place your fingers against the gateway she holds open to you, and you hear again the chord that is being echoed now within yourself. As the sounds blend and merge, the Sheila grows larger, towering over you. At first you think she might swallow you whole. Then you notice that, no matter how big she grows, you remain teetering on her edge, as if the choice to go in or not is yours alone. Knowing that the Sheila is here to transform you through her teachings, you allow yourself to fall into her dark void.

You find yourself in a place of nothingness in which there is no light, no warmth, no cold, and nothing onto which you can grab. You are everywhere and nowhere. You are neither falling nor floating, flying nor swimming—you are just there, deep inside the comforting womb-like interior of the Sheila. To your surprise, you find that you could learn to like it here. In this place you find it hard to recall your physical life. All your problems, worries, and endless list of “have to do” chores that plague you every day are gone. Your only responsibility here is to yourself.

Just when you begin to get really comfortable, you notice light beginning to form around you. As the light vanquishes the shadows, shapes can be seen coming to clarity. You feel solid earth now underneath you, and you find your, self in a clearing in a rich wooded area; perhaps the same area where the temple once sat, perhaps not. You recognize that this is sacred space. Not only does it vibrate with spiritual energy but at its perimeter are small menhirs, or standing stones, forming a perfect circle.

In the center stands a stone dolmen [this is an altar-like edifice made of stone that can be of any size; this one should be visualized as the size of a normal altar] and, to your surprise, standing behind it are nine women who smile at you in welcome. Three of them are wearing robes of white, three wear robes of red, and three wear robes of black. They seem to you to be al most ageless, though the ones in white seem the youngest and the ones in black the oldest. They are not cookie cutter each individual is unique and beautiful in her own way. One is heavy, one is short, one is tall, and one is slender. One is stern, another jolly, and still another motherly and nurturing.

You can see that this sacred space is on a small island surrounded by a river that seems to spring from the west and flow clockwise as it travels to the north, counterclockwise as it travels to the south. At the east, where the two currents meet, they seem to submerge rather than chum. Across the river, at each cardinal point, stands a large cauldron.

One of the women in black beckons you over to the dolmen and you gladly go to stand in front of it. You can now see that the dolmen serves as an altar and contains a variety of ritual and magickal items relating to women’s rites. Chalices, stones, and shields, all enhanced with Goddess symbols, predomi nate. In the center of the stone, surrounded by the Goddess tools, is a deep and very lifelike carving of the Sheila na-Gig.

“Welcome, sister,” one of the women in white speaks.

“You have been expected,” one of the women in red speaks. “The first step in discovering the women’s mysteries awaits you.”

“Remember that true initiation is not an event, but a process. No one can open the door to the greater mysteries but you,” one of the women in black tells you. “The greater mysteries are why you have come, and you are anxious to start learning.”

“Understanding of the self is the first step,” says a woman in white. “As a young person, the female is often steered away from her true path. The only paths she is allowed to take with ease are those that others deem appropriate. But now you are here like a girl again, ready to set out on your chosen way. As when you were young, the impediments to your true path are still there, and staying the course may not be easy—that is why other sisters, like us, are here to help you. But we can only point the way. The walk is long and you must make it alone. The cauldron of the east contains answers to many of your questions about beginnings as a new woman, but it will ask many questions of you in return. Are you willing to accept the challenge of the cauldron of the east, to take its teachings and weave them into your web of wisdom?”

You tell her that you are willing and she hands you an athame [or what ever tool you or your Celtic tradition uses to represent the east and the ele ment of air], and points you in the direction of the east.

As you walk to the edge of the island at the eastern quarter, a fierce wind begins to blow against you, as if trying to hold you back from fording the river. The waters are being stirred up, and since you have no idea how deep this channel is, you hesitate to cross. Each time you try to stick a foot into the water, the wind and surf become more violent. But you really want the knowledge that the elusive cauldron on the other bank can give you, so you stop to think of a way to overcome the elements.

[Pause a moment or two for the journeyer to reflect. At this point the jour neyer may find her own way out, or you may direct her to use her athame or other east and air tool to master the wind and its effect on the river. Allow her two to three minutes of quiet time to perform this action.]

When you finally arrive on the other bank you note that the wind has become a gentle spring breeze. Several small animals are in the clearing around the cauldron-rabbits, squirrels, goats, and other totems of the young Goddess.

But it is the cauldron that holds your interest. You approach it reverently, your inner senses open to any sign that you are not welcome at this time. [If the journeyer feels she is not supposed to be here at this time, she will know it, and may decide to come out of her meditative state on her own. Pause a moment for the journeyer to make this decision.] But you feel nothing but welcome, and you venture to the rim of the vessel.

Peering over its edge, you find that it is not filled with a liquid as you expected, but with a cyclonic mass of energy that, as you watch, begins to reveal a message to you about yourself.

[Pause five to ten minutes so that the journeyer can view the symbols, “movies,” or other images that may be shown to her at this time. The journeyer may hear or sense questions being asked of her as answers to other questions are given.]

When the last of the images fade, you step back from the cauldron and thank the Goddesses and feminine spirits of the east for showing you these things. You have discovered new insights of self understanding you on both your spiritual and physical paths at this time. As you finish thanking air, a gust of whirling wind engulfs you and lifts you up, carrying you safely across the river and setting you gently down in front of the altar once more.

One of the women in red smiles at you like a loving mother. “Are you ready for the next challenge?” she asks.

[At this point you may wish to will yourself back to the stone temple and out of the meditation, saving the teachings of the other three cauldrons for a later time.]

You indicate that you are ready to go on.

“Some limitations, we have been taught, are our lot as women. Intellectually we know this teaching to be false and detrimental to all living things. But emotionally we are scarred. The teachings of our youth, no matter how false or destructive, can remain a powerful force over us. They must be burned away, purged with the fire of passion and overturned by confident action. Acknowledging and banishing these fears, thereby accepting our full range of abilities, is the second step in gaining wisdom,” a woman in red tells you. “The cauldron of the south contains answers to many of your questions in this respect, but it will ask many questions of you in return. Are you willing to accept the challenge of the cauldron of the south, to take its teachings and weave them into your web of wisdom?”

You tell her that you are willing and she hands you a wand [or whatever tool you or your Celtic tradition uses to represent the south and the element of fire], and points you in the direction of the south.

As you walk to the edge of the island at the southern quarter, an oppressive heat rises around you and you are tempted to run back and cool yourself in the gentle breezes of the east. The waters of the river here are boiling, as if a giant bonfire blazes beneath its surface, and you know that you cannot walk through it without being scalded. But you really want the knowledge that the elusive cauldron on the other bank can give you, so you stop to think of a way to overcome the elements.

[Pause a moment or two for the journeyer to reflect. At this point the journeyer may find her own way out, or you may direct her to use her wand or other south and fire tool to master the heat and its effect on the river. Allow her two to three minutes of quiet time to perform this action.]

When you finally arrive at the other bank, you note that the heat has mellowed to that of a balmy summer afternoon. You approach the cauldron reverently, your inner senses open to any sign that you are not welcome at this time. [If the journeyer feels she is not supposed to be here at this time, she will know it, and may decide to come out of her meditative state on her own. Pause a moment for the journeyer to make this decision.] But you feel nothing but welcome, and you venture to the rim of the vessel.

Peering over its edge, you find that its bottom is covered with a layer of richly woven fire. Reds, golds, yellows, oranges, and blues dance in its depths.

As you watch, images of sun Goddesses flare in the flames that now begin to reveal a message to you about your innermost fears, your insecurities, and your personal power and abilities.

When the last of the images fade, you step back from the cauldron and thank the Goddesses and feminine spirits of the south for showing you these things. You have discovered new insights about those things that are now preventing you from being all that you can be in your spiritual and physical life and as a woman of power. As you finish thanking fire, a maverick blaze rises up from the ground and lifts you up with the care of a loving mother, carries you safely across the river, and sets you gently down in front of the altar once more.

One of the women in black smiles at you knowingly. “Are you ready for the next challenge?” she asks.

[At this point you may wish to will yourself back to the stone temple and out of the meditation, saving the teachings of the other two cauldrons for a later time.]

You indicate that you are ready to continue.

“Women are conditioned not to trust in their knowledge. When our experience and insights are belittled they stagnate, and in this way our enemies prevent them from becoming part of our wisdom. For wisdom makes us strong, and this is a threat to all they have tried to build for four millennia. Learning to take your beliefs and experiences and accepting them as knowledge, then weaving them into a strong cloak of wisdom, is the third step on your quest. You cannot function as a warrior, teacher, or priestess without understanding this aspect of yourself. Also remember that it is from the north that the powers of sovereignty come, from the stone of the mother earth that cries aloud when a rightful and just ruler steps upon her back [see Chapter 9]. We have more power than we usually realize,” the woman in black tells you. “If we did not, no one would have battled so hard for so long to make us forget it. The cauldron of the north contains answers to many of your questions in this regard, but it will ask many questions of you in return. Are you willing to accept the challenge of the cauldron of the north, to take its teachings and weave them into your web of wisdom?”

“The north?” you ask. “Why not the west?”

“The north is the place of cold and darkness, where the greatest stumbling blocks to our progress lie. While there is much good in darkness, and much to learn, we have to shed light into it to be able to use it. Darkness cannot be seen without light, and light blinds without darkness to balance its glare.”

The woman hands you a stone [or whatever tool you or your Celtic tradition uses to represent the north and the element of earth], and points you in the direction of the north.

As you walk to the edge of the island at the northern quarter, a deep rumble from below nearly knocks you off your feet. An earthquake! You are sure it is trying to hold you back from fording the river. The waters are being slapped in a dozen different directions and the riverbed vibrates and changes course. This is a tough challenge, to be sure, but you really want the knowledge that the elusive cauldron on the other bank can give you, so you stop to think of a way to overcome the elements.

[Pause a moment or two for the journeyer to reflect. At this point the journeyer may find her own way out, or you may direct her to use her stone or other north and earth tool to master the earthquake and its effect on the river. Allow her two to three minutes of quiet time to perform this action.]

When you finally arrive on the other bank you note that the earth is still ancalm once more, and the carpet of thick green grass feels like a soft blankebeneath your feet.

Peering over its edge you find that it is filled with a rich variety of vibrant crystals which, as you watch, begin to reveal a message to you about yourself. [Pause five to ten minutes so that the journeyer can view the symbols, “movies,” or other images that may be shown to her at this time. The journeyer may hear or sense questions being asked to her as answers to other questions are given.]

When the last of the images fade, you step back from the cauldron and thank the Goddesses and feminine spirits of the north for showing you these things. You have discovered new insights, gaining wisdom that will help you on both your spiritual and physical paths at this time. As you finish thanking earth, a giant rift in the ground tosses you upward and sets you safely down across the river in front of the altar once more.

You stand impatiently now, waiting for someone to offer you access to the cauldron of the west. Yet as long as you wait, none of the nine women offers you the west.

[The journeyer may now go to the end of the meditation and leave if she chooses, or she can stay and work with the energies of the west.]

Finally you speak up and announce that you wish to visit the western cauldron. All nine women seem pleased with your choice, yet they also seem hesitant to let you go. The oldest of the women in black steps forward and speaks to you. “The west is the place of greatest power in our Celtic traditions,” she reminds you. “It is the home of our ancestors, our deities, and our beloved and eternal mother from whom we are all born and to whom we must all return one day. It is a place in which all things-all thoughts, peoples, places, time, and space—meet, coalesce, and regenerate. It is a place that can make you strong or expose your greatest weakness for all the universe to see. It can recreate you better than before, or it can destroy you altogether. It is a place you must enter by choice, not just by invitation, fully knowing its power. It is a place from which you cannot return unchanged. Our myths tell us that over and over again. Are you sure you wish to take the challenge of the western cauldron at this time?” [Again, the journeyer has the choice to leave the meditation or go on.]

When you tell her you are ready to continue she looks pleased and hands you a chalice [or whatever tool you or your Celtic tradition uses to represent the west and the element of water], and points you in the direction of the west.

As you walk to the edge of the island at the western quarter, a driving rain begins to beat down on you, as if trying to hold you back from fording the river. The chalice you hold quickly fills and overflows, and the river looks as if it will soon overflow its banks and wash you away. But you really want the knowledge that the elusive cauldron on the other bank can give you, so you stop to think of a way to overcome the elements.

[Pause a moment or two for the journeyer to reflect. At this point the journeyer may find her own way out, or you may direct her to use her chalice or other west and water tool to master the rain and its effect on the river. Allow her two to three minutes of quiet time to perform this action.]

When you finally arrive at the other bank you note that the rain is gone, and now there is only a damp mist blanketing everything in a gentle haze. Several tall trees hover over the cauldron, and in them you notice some large eyed owls—birds of the old Goddess—watching you carefully.

Peering over its edge, you find that it is filled with a liquid as red as blood and dark as midnight. You have a sense that it is bottomless. Its energies seem the strongest of any cauldron you have worked with yet, and you have to fight to overcome your fear of what will be revealed to you here. As you look into the cauldron’s depths, the dark waters begin to reveal a message to you per, taining to knowledge and wisdom.

When the last of the images fade, you step back from the cauldron and thank the Goddesses, feminine spirits, and ancestor mothers of the west for showing you these things. You have been given hints on how to rebirth your, self into the woman you need and want to be. As you finish thanking water, a huge waterspout engulfs and lifts you, carrying you safely across the river and setting you gently down in front of the altar once more.

When you return you find that the women all cheer for you, honoring you as an emerging spiritual warrior and priestess-in-training. Each of them kisses you on the forehead and murmurs a woman’s blessings in your ear. [Pause about three minutes for this.]

The sounds of the bodhran [pronounced “bow rawn” (rhymes with cow lawn), it is the traditional Irish goatskin drum] fill the clearing, and the women have you lead them in an ecstatic circle dance. You spiral in and out from the center of the circle—which represents the eternal cycle of life, the unity of negativity and positivity, the polarities of life and death—for all these things belong to woman. It is she who births and creates, and to whom all things must go to be reborn. You dance in joyous knowledge that you are part of that cycle—part of the power.

The tempo increases and the dance becomes manic. You and the other women are twirling and spiraling in and out, allowing the power of the elements around you to come alive and join in the dance of praise and joy. At this point you notice another dancer just in front of you. This figure is now leading the rest of you in twists and turns so unexpected that they leave you breathless. It is the Sheila in all her unrestrained, voracious glory!

You follow her in the wild dance that now takes on an Otherworldly quality, and you seem to swirl through a blending of the elements, through time and space, your consciousness expanding to encompass all possibilities and realities.

As you dance you hear a woman’s voice whispering in your ear. Is it the Sheila? You are not sure, yet her words ring true. “Remember that true initiation is not an event, but a process. To take the vows and ignore the process is waste, a slap in the face of the Goddess who gave you life. Take your learning and allow it to become part of your whole existence. Live it. Die it. And live it again and again. For this is the essence of feminine power, the foundation of all our wisdom.”

As the last vibration of the voice fades away, the Sheila in front of you grows to mammoth proportions and you are once again engulfed in her. You find yourself in that place of nothingness and silence once more.

With a sensation that is almost jarring, you realize you are again standing in front of the stone temple, facing the carving of the huge Sheila that took you into her mysteries in the first place. In awe you watch as she shrinks in size again, and recedes into the relief on the door. You reverently touch her once more as you silently offer her your thanks.

Feeling as if you have truly been born anew and have received your first initiation into the Celtic women’s tradition, you turn away from her and step back across the blood red and snow white streams. With this act you feel your consciousness start to separate from this place. You are walking toward the edge of the forest when you feel this world of mystery beginning to fade away. As you feel yourself fading from the temple site, closing off your world from this one, say to yourself the words, “I am home.”

Gently your consciousness transfers itself back to your physical body. Feel now the awareness of your physical self returning to your legs, arms, back, stomach, and neck. Flex them and relish in the joy of being a living human being.

You are once again part of the waking physical world, and you open your eyes and feel exhilarated, energized, and glad to be home with your new wisdom attained from the Sheila-na-Gig. Do not forget to ground yourself (see Appendix C if you are unfamiliar with this concept). Touch the earth, eat, scream, or do anything else that firmly roots you in the present. Then be sure to record this experience in your Book of Shadows, or other magickal journal, for later reference.

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