Chapter Eighteen

THE AIR SMELT fishy as I made my way up the beach towards the wharf to meet Jake. A man threw a bucket of waste from his fancy cruiser into the water. Seagulls came from all directions, swooping in like kamikaze pilots. I picked up a stick and swirled it around and around, leaving circles in the sand, but discarded it when a piece of driftwood caught my eye. Mum had a large collection of driftwood that she kept in her office at work, and there was more under Aunt Cass’s house. I gripped the end and dragged it up the beach behind me.

Jake came into view. He was standing at the end of the wharf, waving his hands high above his head. I waved back.

Jake’s barge was secured alongside the wharf; the ferry was moored opposite. Excited children climbed the handrail as ferry workers secured the rope to the wharf before dropping the boarding plank.

‘You look fresh,’ said Jake, flashing me a smile. I couldn’t say the same. His dreadlocks were loose, spearing off in all directions, plus he needed a shave. ‘Nice piece,’ he said, admiring the wood.

‘Thanks.’ I handed it to him. I threw my backpack into the barge and reached out for Jake to help me board, then took my position on the seat closest to the bow facing him at the stern. He started the outboard, releasing enough throttle to warm the motor. The fumes brought back a flood of childhood memories. ‘Remember the time we found a blue-ringed octopus?’ I called over the sound of the outboard.

‘We took it home in a jar, and your mum freaked.’

‘She banned you from seeing me for the rest of the holidays.’

We cracked up laughing.

‘And when you told your dad,’ I recalled, ‘he grabbed your hand and started whipping at your leg with his belt.’

Jake turned his leg, showing me his calf muscle. ‘The bugger left a scar.’

My eyes widened. ‘For real?’

‘No bullshit. The buckle cut clean through my skin.’

I gripped the side of the barge and moved forward. ‘You’re a wuss, I can hardly see a scar,’ I said, making my way back to the bow.

Jake reached into a sack, took out a mandarin and held the lever of the outboard between his toes while he peeled off the skin. ‘Catch,’ he called as half the mandarin went flying past me and into the water. Jake went to break off another bit, but I shook my head. ‘Dead Man’s Cove?’

I nodded. Jake reversed away from the wharf, steering the barge in a half circle. When he upped the throttle, the bow bounced across the water. I tasted my breakfast as it came halfway up my throat.

‘If it’s too rough, you can come up here.’

I swallowed. ‘I’m great,’ I called, gripping the sides with both hands, cringing with the sting of the wind cutting through my clothes. Richard’s face flashed through my mind, threatening to dampen the day.

‘Sure you don’t want to come up here?’ called Jake.

I shook my head.

When we entered the neck of the cove, Jake cut back on the throttle and skillfully manoeuvred the barge around expensive cruisers moored offshore, keeping his distance from a yacht that would have been worth the price of a house. He pointed at a waiter dressed in white, serving breakfast to a couple on the deck, reading the morning paper in the sun.

Jake nosed the bow to the shore. I stood ready to jump into the water. ‘It’s freezing,’ he warned, and scrambled over the middle seat as the bow touched the land. ‘You can help pull her in.’ He jumped off and I followed. My heels sank in the wet sand as I pulled. I fell backwards and laughed.

I was wiping the sand off the back of my shorts when Jake yelled, ‘Catch!’ and my backpack came hurtling towards me.

‘Stop throwing stuff at me,’ I yelled.

‘You’ve lost your reflexes, Steph.’

‘I haven’t.’

Jake threaded his muscly arms through the straps of his pack, leading the way across the beach towards a giant boulder where we used to play as kids. ‘It never changes here.’

I stopped to take in the view, and went in search of our names that we’d carved in the ledge. They were still there, Jake loves Stephy. A short distance away, I read, Jake loves Melanie, carved in a heart.

‘Did you love me?’ I asked.

‘One hundred per cent. Still do.’

‘And Melanie?’

He gave me a huge grin. ‘A girl from Brooklyn. I still love her too, but she lost interest when I dropped out of boarding school.’

I walked across the weathered surface and lay down beside him. ‘Aunt Cass told me that your mum died. I didn’t know that she had breast cancer. I’m sorry.’

Jake shrugged. ‘Thanks,’ he said, stretching his legs, crossing his feet over his ankles. He closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun. ‘It all happened quickly.’ There was a long pause. ‘It, um …’

The hesitation in Jake’s voice made me think that he knew that my mum was waiting for a transplant. ‘Aunt Cass told you?’

Jake turned his head towards me and squinted. ‘Ah – yep, she did. It can’t be easy for you either.’

‘It’s not. I think the hardest part is learning that stress brings out the worst in you – the old you no longer exists and the new you isn’t a nice person.’

Jake nodded, and silence fell over the rock.

‘What’s with your boyfriend?’ asked Jake.

‘God, did Aunt Cass discuss him too?’

‘Yep,’ he said, raising his eyebrows.

I liked his honesty. ‘We’re having a break.’

‘Sorry to hear that.’

‘It’s complicated.’

‘Yeah, I know what you mean. Since Mum died, it’s like being on a fast-moving train without the stations. If you allow yourself to stop, your brain starts over-thinking. Hey, tell me, has Libby got a boyfriend?’

I gave him a goofy grin. ‘No, she doesn’t.’

‘Good,’ he said, lying back and folding his arms behind his head, beaming with confidence. ‘So when is she coming to Palmy?’

‘On the weekend.’

‘Maybe we can come back here and pitch a tent, stay the night, light a fire.’

I smiled at the thought of Jake putting up a tent. For as long as I could recall he wanted to be an architect. ‘Have you given up on becoming an architect?’

I think my words stole Jake’s confidence. ‘No, not totally. When Mum died, Dad got snowed under. He had trouble staying focused and started losing clients. I plan on going back to school next year, but locally. I want to be around for Dad.’

‘I suppose you know that I’m taking time off school?’

‘That was mentioned.’

I shook my head. ‘She’s amazing, what else did she tell you?’

‘I think we’ve covered everything. Are you up for a swim?’ said Jake, jumping to his feet.

‘You told me that the water was freezing.’

Jake stripped off his shirt, dropped his jeans and stood at the edge of the boulder in his baggy checked boxer shorts.

‘You’re joking, right?’

‘Nope, meet you in there,’ he shouted, swinging his arms as he jumped. I heard a splash.

‘You’re crazy,’ I laughed, and scurried to the edge, willing him to surface.

Jake’s head broke through the water. He shook his hair like a wet dog shaking off the rain. ‘It’s like bloody ice,’ he yelled.

I walked up the beach towards the house. Mum was sitting in the afternoon sun with Aunt Cass. I threw the driftwood over the retaining wall, then dragged it over to Mum. ‘I found it on the beach.’

Mum ran her hand over the bumps and curves and studied the sea-worm holes. ‘Steph, it’s beautiful. Thank you.’ She held it up for Aunt Cass to see.

Aunt Cass shook her head. ‘You’d have enough driftwood to build a house of wood, little pig.’

Mum laughed.

‘Where’s Dad?’

‘He was called in to work.’

‘I knew it,’ I said, putting my hands behind my head. ‘Why does he do this? He promised not to work unless it was an emergency.’

‘Come on, Steph. You know what the zoo’s like.’

‘The family holiday was his idea.’

‘Steph, don’t worry, he won’t be long.’

I started walking backwards and turned. ‘I’m going to take a shower,’ I called over my shoulder.

As I closed the back door, the front door bell rang. I ran to open it, thinking that Dad didn’t have a key. There stood Richard.

‘Please, Steph, hear me out.’

‘Why should I? You said what you had to say at the café. You had no right to come here. As I see it, it’s over.’

‘Steph, please, give me a chance.’

‘How did you get here?’ I gazed beyond him to a car parked with its nose in the drive.

‘A friend drove me.’

‘Well, that was a waste of petrol,’ I spat out, gripping the door to close it.

Richard put out his hand to stop me. ‘Steph, please, can we just walk? If you don’t like what I came to say, I’ll go, I promise.’

‘And you’ll accept that we’re over?’

‘Richard’s forehead puckered. ‘Over? Yeah, sure, if that’s what you want.’

I led Richard in the opposite direction to where Mum and Aunt Cass were sitting, and took him across the sand to the concrete pipe, where you needed to walk with your arms stretched out to either side to keep from ending up in the water.

‘It’s amazing here,’ he said, feasting on the view, and almost lost his footing.

‘Careful,’ I warned, gripping the back of his shirt to help him regain his balance. When we got to the end, we sat facing the land on the other side of the water, where houses built on tall poles clung to the side of the hill like giant eagles.

‘Say what you came to say,’ I snapped, and his eyes met mine.

Richard turned his gaze to the water. ‘The day Michael died, he was struck on the back of his neck by his surfboard,’ he said, and his voice choked up. ‘Being on life support gave us a chance to say goodbye.’ He clasped his hands and brought them up to his mouth and started rocking. ‘When the hospital asked if he was a donor, Mum freaked. His voice softened. ‘I knew that Michael would have been a willing donor, but I didn’t have the guts to tell Mum. I couldn’t cope with seeing her so cut-up – I wasn’t going to add to her pain.’

‘Richard, you don’t have to do this,’ I said.

He shook his head. ‘This might sound strange, but I’d give anything to have Michael’s organs living.’ He gave me a watery smile. ‘So that’s it,’ he said, releasing his hands.

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘There’s more, Steph.’

‘More?’

‘I was talking to Kevin.’

‘Kevin? Why?’ I squirmed.

‘Hey, he’s not holding what happened at the hospital against you. He understands, and he wants to help. One of the nurses in the ICU recognised you. She took Kevin aside and told him your mum needed a heart transplant.’

‘Nurses are supposed to keep patient information confidential!’

‘Come on, Steph – you didn’t exactly follow hospital protocol.’

I dropped my head. ‘You’re right.’

‘Anyway, the outcome was good. Kevin explained to his parents why you were there, and when they were approached by the transplant coordinators, they agreed that Katie should be a donor.’

‘I never meant to hurt them.’

‘We know that. That’s what gave Kevin the idea.’

I dried my eyes on the sleeve of my jacket. ‘Idea?’

‘An organ donor website for kids our age. Kevin suggested an opt-in card to become a willing donor, or an opt-out card. The information stays confidential, and can only be accessed by a family member, if needed. Steph, if Michael had had access to a site like that, I reckon it would have made that night more bearable for my parents, and the outcome would have been different.’

‘Is it doable?’

‘It sure is doable. Libby and Willow are on board. Mr Ace, our IT teacher, and Paul will help me with the coding and design. We thought – Willow thought – that maybe you’d do some artwork? You know, both of you?’

‘A site like that – who knows how many lives it could save …’

‘Exactly. We could start workshopping it over the weekend. It could be live in a matter of weeks.’

‘I’m in, but I might not discuss it with Mum and Dad, not yet.’

‘I knew you’d be in. I’m sorry for everything. I want us to stay together. I can’t lose you, Steph.’

‘I want that too.’

‘I have to go,’ he said and kissed me. ‘Kevin’s dad let us borrow his work car. We promised that we wouldn’t be long.’

‘God, Kevin’s here? You didn’t tell me!’

‘I didn’t want to freak you out.’ Richard took my hand. ‘It’s all good, I promise.’

My stomach churned as we approached Kevin sitting behind the wheel of the car. He opened his door, stepped out and walked towards me. He didn’t talk, he just reached out and hugged me, and I hugged him back.

It’s strange how one minute you’re in a dark hole, and you think that there’s no way of digging your way out, then your friends step forward, showing you the way. For the first time in such a long while, I didn’t feel alone and helpless.

I ran across the lawn past Mum and Aunt Cass, then stopped. ‘Richard was here. It’s all good.’

‘Invite him in?’ said Mum.

‘He’s gone. He’ll be back on the weekend.’ I jumped off the wall.

‘Where are you off to?’

‘To the boatshed,’ I called, and blew her a kiss. ‘Enjoy the sun. I love you, I love both of you!’