Chapter Five

STANDING WITH MY nose close to the canvas, I took in the colours of ochre, yellow, and swirls of white mixed with black that created the movement of the sand being sucked back out to sea. I removed a hair with the tip of the brush, then stood back. The painting gripped my heart, pulling me back to the day at Palmy. Stop going back there, I told my brain, dropping the brush in the jar of turps, backing away from the canvas.

It was impossible to be silent in our house. Everything that opened and shut creaked and so did all the floorboards. I held the knob on the attic door to lessen the noise as I closed it. Since Mum came home from the hospital, she’d spent most of the day sleeping. When I asked Dad if that was normal his eyes narrowed, but he said yes. He went on to say that sometimes medication can take weeks to take effect, but it was already the third week.

I walked lightly towards Mum’s door; it was partly open. I stopped to see if she was awake. She was asleep, but her breathing was heavier than normal. I wrapped my arms around my body and kept on walking.

Libby was lying on her stomach on my bed, knees bent backwards, tapping the heels of her new black leather lace-ups that enhanced her tiny ankles. She was reading Puberty Blues, again.

‘Libby, how can you read that junk when there are so many other books out there?’

Libby rolled over on her back, relaxing the book on her chest. ‘Name one?’

‘Chenxi and the Foreigner.’

She rolled back over on her stomach. ‘For your information, Steph, I’m halfway through that book. I like this book. It brings out the sexy side of me. We should try to get laid before the school year ends.’

I snatched the towel off my bed, headed for the bathroom, and stopped. ‘You say the lamest stuff.’ Libby turned her head and crinkled her nose. ‘What makes you think that I’d remotely want to get laid?’ I asked, exasperated.

‘I think it would make you stronger.’

I laughed. ‘Yeah, like don’t you mean pregnant?’

Libby shrugged. ‘You can take precautions against getting pregnant.’

‘I wouldn’t sleep with anyone that I didn’t love.’

Libby and I stood in front of Mum’s bedroom door. I reached out, placed my hand on the doorknob and closed it.

‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye?’ whispered Libby.

‘No, Dad said that she needs to rest.’

Libby followed me into the kitchen. She picked up a note off the table and read it out loud.

Steph, work called. They asked me to check in on Sally. I shouldn’t be too long. If I miss you, your lunch is in the fridge on the top shelf. Dad

‘Sally?’ asked Libby, handing me the note.

‘Sally the chimp, she’s pregnant, remember?’ I slipped a buttered piece of toast between my teeth, swept my backpack off the chair, and adjusted it on my back as I walked.

‘You’ll get chalky bones,’ Libby informed me. ‘You should start the day with a good breakfast.’

I raised my perfectly plucked eyebrows at her. ‘Did you get that information from Puberty Blues?’

‘God, Steph,’ she said. Dismissing the question, she opened the door.

The front gate creaked as it closed behind us. I glanced up at Mum’s bedroom window, but her curtains remained closed. I reached over our fence to snap a clump of daphne off the shrub and smelt it. The garden needed work, nothing had been touched for weeks.

I handed the daphne to Libby. She poked the stem through the buttonhole of her crisp white shirt and smelt it. ‘Thanks.’

‘Don’t mention it.’

I was on the school bus waiting behind Libby to tap my card when Dad called. ‘Dad?’

‘Sally had a girl.’

The hair on my arms tingled. ‘Wow, that’s amazing. How gorgeous is she?’

‘I wouldn’t call her gorgeous, she’s wrinkled, but healthy.’

‘Can I call her Lucy, like you promised?’

‘Only if you agree to be her sponsor. Do we have a deal?’ I was already sponsoring an orangutan, a goat and an elephant. I called the orangutan Ruben, after grandad Conner.

‘It’s a deal. I’ll pop into the zoo after school.’

‘You and your silly animals,’ Libby groaned. ‘I hardly see you on weekends as it is, and you never spend money on yourself.’

‘I do too.’

‘Like what?’

‘I buy paints and brushes.’

‘You can’t wear paint, Steph. You could do with some new stuff.’

‘Maybe I could put in for another shift at the zoo?’ I said, not joking.

Libby stared at me coldly and reached for her iPad. ‘Has anyone told you that you’re exhausting?’

‘No,’ I lied.

As I stood to disembark, a boy came from the back of the bus and stood in the aisle beside my seat. I glanced at his unlaced boots.

I elbowed Libby. ‘It’s him!’

‘Him? Him who?’ Her eyes were darting ahead.

‘The boy I mentioned. The boy at the hospital.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah, I’m sure,’ I said, slipping off my pack and handing it to her. ‘Take this.’

‘Steph,’ she sighed, as I got up to stand behind him and followed him off the bus, along the footpath and through the school gate.

‘Excuse me,’ I called. The boy from the hospital stopped walking and faced me. I stared into his light brown eyes and the words melted in my mouth.

‘Can I help you?’ He didn’t recognise me.

‘You were at the hospital a few weeks ago.’ His face went from vague to dark, which was awkward. I put my hand out between us. ‘Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought you might have recognised me.’ I glanced back over my shoulder to Libby, and started walking backwards.

His face softened. ‘You were at St Vincent’s Hospital?’ I stopped walking. ‘I remember you.’

‘Stephanie Conner,’ I went on to say, offering my hand, and he took it. His was soft, and mine was hot and sweaty. ‘You can call me Steph. I mean, if you want, or maybe you don’t.’

‘Hi Steph, I’m Richard Delaney,’ he said. I released his hand and stepped back awkwardly. ‘You can call me Richard.’

I detected a hint of sarcasm, which was a shame because I liked him. I wanted to walk away, but instead, I put his possible sarcasm aside. ‘Maybe we could catch up at lunch?’ I couldn’t believe I said that.

‘Yeah, sure,’ he said, taking me by surprise.

‘Oh, right, great,’ I added, and pointed across the rolling grass to the far end of the school, where there was a corrugated iron shed next to the veggie garden. ‘I’ll meet you at the shed, unless you’d prefer …’

Richard smiled. ‘The shed’s cool.’ Unlike Greg’s teeth that were locked in braces, Richard’s were perfect.

‘Great. I’ll meet you there.’ I gave him a wave and made my way back to Libby.

‘Thanks, Libby,’ I said, taking my pack from her.

‘You’re joking, right?’ she squealed, her eyes wide with curiosity. ‘Don’t you dare keep me in suspense, Steph. Was it the same boy or not?’

‘Yeah, it was him.’

‘Well, what did he say?’

I looked across the quadrangle in search of Richard and caught him peering back at me. I flicked my hair and smiled. ‘We’re meeting up. I won’t be around at lunch.’

I caught Libby giving him the once over. ‘I think he likes you.’

‘I think he’s complicated.’

‘Being complicated is heaps better than being boring.’

‘Yeah, I guess.’