Legacy

What is it that you will leave behind?

I remember someone asking me once: ‘What would you want people to say about you when you’re gone? And if you could attend your funeral, how would you want to feel? How would your family and friends honour you? How would they remember you?’

I think it’s one of the most profound and insanely motivating questions I’ve been asked.

Whether we like it or not, death is approaching. Right now, as you take a breath, it’s the most amount of breaths you’ve ever taken in your whole entire life. Every step you take creates a new total for how many steps you’ve taken in your life. So how are you treading and what’s the footprint you’re leaving behind?

What do you stand for?

Back around the time of Dad’s funeral, I remember having a session with Michael Trembath, the energy healer mentioned in previous parts of this book. When discussing death, he mentioned that all our issues, addictions and hang ups dissolve to leave only the purest parts of you. I like to believe this to be true. Although we don’t forget about the darkest parts of another person at death, as these made that person who they were with all their edges and scars, we honour and lean into what they left behind and how they made people feel.

So here goes. This is what I hope for at my funeral.

That my family remembers me for the child that I was and still am. Playful, shy, active, resilient; not afraid to get dirty and have adventures beyond the perimeter of my home.

That I inspired a small community of people in Sydney to practise presence and cultivate a state of calm – and worldwide, too, through my online practices, books, yoga teacher training, posts and articles.

That I created soul-expanding experiences to help people to feel uplifted and more connected to themselves.

That my messaging was relevant, relatable and inspiring.

That my closest friends felt deeply loved and cared for by me and that they always felt they could share their deepest of secrets or shameful acts. When we share the shame (which can be the birth place of violence, bullying, self-harm and illness), that shame dissolves. A listening ear is important in this world.

That I was honest; that I spoke my truth and was courageous enough to give people my honest opinion.

That I was able to live my dharma wholeheartedly. That through my acts of service – teaching, educating people about, living and breathing my yoga – I was authentic and able to make a difference in some way to the people around me.

That members of my family felt at peace with our relationship and could always count on me. Mostly though, I hope they felt loved by me.

I hope my partner (who I care for in a way that is indescribable except for the fact that when I think of him as I write these words my heart swells up) will always remember the depth of our relationship and that I was forever changed for knowing him. I hope he knows that he slowly changed some of my negative patterns and beliefs just by loving me. Thank you for always telling me how lovable, beautiful and sexy I am. Even if, some days, I couldn’t bring myself to believe you. It still mattered.

That strangers I met felt inspired to be mindful and calm.

And whilst sitting back and watching all of this after my spirit has left my body, I hope to feel liberated; that I know I gave all that I had to give and just as equally received all the gifts people, and the universe, wanted to give.

I hope to leave this world expansive, dissolving into and truly understanding my connection to it all.

What’s your legacy?

Have a think about what you would want people to say at your funeral.

How would you feel upon hearing the words that are said?

Death is an imminent, crazy and beautiful thing. It really is a sweet reminder to live in a way that is authentic to you, that brings meaning to your life and that, in some way, encourages you to ‘give’ and to be of service – because that really is the most fulfilling way to walk the Earth.