Ryan heard knocking followed by his doorbell ringing as he got out of the shower. He pulled on a pair of drawstring pants and a T-shirt before heading down the stairs. He could see Frankie through the beveled glass on the door and was not impressed by the way his pulse hammered. He yanked the door open, the cold punching him back a step. Frankie was bundled, a scarf wrapped around her neck and covering her mouth. The wind had picked up and the clouds were dark. She held a hundred dollar bill in her hand.
“You’re an idiot,” she stated, her voice muffled, waving the money at him. If he had to guess, he’d say it was the same bill he’d given Carter for his help.
“In general or for some specific reason?”
He gripped her scarf, pulling her into the house and slamming the door behind her. She shivered and he fought the urge to rub his hands up and down her arms. Touching her was not a good idea.
“Both. In general and because you paid a teenage boy one hundred dollars for a few hours of work,” she told him.
He put his hands on his hips and gave a heavy sigh. He wished she didn’t look so good. And that he didn’t want her. It was idiotic to want her more after Cameron’s visit. He’d been screwed around by Victoria—he wasn’t into hurting someone the way he’d been hurt. He sure as hell didn’t want to mess with Frankie’s emotions; she was possibly the nicest person he’d ever met. Though he could be wrong. He certainly had been about the people in his life up to this point.
“It was more than a few hours. The kid worked his ass off and did everything I asked without complaint. It’s my money. What do you care?”
She shook her head at him, her eyes darting past him to take in what she could see of his house from the foyer. “I care because he needs to get an actual job or go to school or something. And the amount of money you gave him was unrealistic compared to what he would actually make if he were to get a job.”
Ryan’s thoughts blurred as he tried to follow Frankie’s. He pressed his fingers to his temple and massaged.
“He could work construction and he’d make good money.”
She shook her head at him. “I Googled you.”
His pulse slowed. He glared at her. Here it comes. His shoulders tightened immediately.
She frowned. “You were Rookie of the Year.” He grunted in response. She continued. “And MVP. Twice. You also won the GIBBY Awards, which are apparently a real thing.”
His shoulders loosened slightly and he smirked. “They are.”
“You were recognized as a top hitter three years in a row.”
He nodded. “The Silver Slugger Award,” he said.
Her eyes grew rounder as she continued. “You have a reputation for having a temper,” she said, quieter now, like she was gauging him. Or leading up to the fatal jab.
“When it’s warranted.”
“You assaulted your best friend.”
“He turned out not to be such a good friend.” He clenched his fists thinking about it and tried not to lose his temper now.
Her face softened, twisting his heart. “I read that too.”
Ryan folded his arms across his chest. “And that has what to do with Carter? Let me guess, I’m a bad influence? You don’t want me asking him to help again? You think I gave him some drugs in addition to the money?”
He knew he was sneering at her and that his voice was colder than the wind, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want this from her. Not from someone he liked. He walked into his living room, switched on the gas fireplace, and flopped down on the leather couch. It faced his huge TV, which was currently on mute. He ran his hands through his hair as he leaned back, gripped it tightly, and took a breath.
“What? What are you talking about?” she asked, following him and untangling herself from her scarf. She tossed it on the oversized chair that matched the couch and stood in front of the fireplace, unzipping her jacket. His thoughts scrambled again before he remembered that he was mad.
“That’s why you’re here isn’t it? To bitch at me? Tell me my stats? To find out how much of what you read is true?”
Frankie rubbed her hands together for a second, looking at him until he averted his gaze. He watched the fire dance behind her so he wouldn’t have to meet her eyes. So he wouldn’t have to see her disappointment.
“I’m here because I think that if you make it easy for him to earn money, he won’t want to work hard for it. I want to help them but I can’t keep them indefinitely. Which means that Carter needs to be realistic about his options.”
He sat up and moved his gaze back to hers as she stepped toward him. She tossed her jacket on the chair as well and stood close enough that he had to lean his head back to see her face. Droplets of water shimmied from his hair down his neck.
“As for doing a Google search, I read enough to know a few things,” she said, her voice dropping an octave.
He gave an unfriendly laugh. “I’m sure you think you do.” He’d looked away again so he was surprised to feel her fingers in his hair. He gripped her wrist and looked up at her.
“You didn’t just play baseball. You’re an actual major league player,” she said. It made him happy that she didn’t have the typical ‘groupie-syrup voice’ that always told him a woman was into what he did but not him. She was just stating a fact.
“Not anymore.”
“No. You walked away.”
“Ran, if you ask anyone else.” Still running, he thought bitterly.
She pulled her wrist from his grasp and sat beside him, where there was no space. She wedged herself between his body and the arm of the couch.
“You’re retired? You didn’t even wait for them to clear your name.”
Technically, he was on leave. But he’d known when he took the suspension where it would lead. “I can’t control what people think of me. I know who I am and I wasn’t about to sit around waiting for some stick-up-their-ass suits to decide whether or not they believe me.”
He ground his teeth together. He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t care what people thought. Caring what people thought was the fast track to never being good enough for anyone.
“No sense going backwards,” he said. He watched her carefully, trying to gauge her mood.
“It’s not always that easy though,” she said. “To just put everything behind you and start fresh takes courage. At least, I hope that’s what it is.”
She was talking about herself now. He heard the shift in her tone. He wanted to tell her that she had a hell of a lot more courage than him. He didn’t have to know her well to know that much. What he’d been through was hard, but walking away hadn’t taken courage. If anything, it was cowardice. Not retiring—he’d been ready for a while, but to have worked so hard toward so many things and have them explode in his face with no way of stopping any of it. That he hadn’t gone out on his own terms was like a fist in the jaw every time he thought about it. Which was why he tried not to think about it.
“I guess we’ll see. It’s not the way I planned to go out but none of that matters now. I understand if you want Carter to stay away from me, but—”.
“You’re an idiot,” she said. When she smiled, her cheeks and eyes lit up along with the rest of her, like she couldn’t smile half way. The fact that he was so drawn in by just her smile meant that he was in big trouble.
“You already said that.”
“It warrants repeating. I’m not worried about Carter being around you. In fact, I think you’re an incredible influence. He was…different when he came back today. Like you’d broken off some of the chip on his shoulder.”
Ryan put his arm on the back of the couch. He could have moved over but he liked being close to her.
“Well, I happen to have some experience with having a chip on my shoulder. He’s a good kid.”
“You’re a good man,” she said quietly, resting her hand on his thigh.
“You don’t know anything about me, other than what you just read. Ex-wife. Drugs. Assault charges from a friend. Not all of that was just tabloid gossip.” He didn’t look at her when he spoke. He didn’t care what people saw in the tabloids, but he didn’t particularly want Frankie knowing that shit or thinking any part of it was true. He liked that she thought he was good. It made him feel like, maybe, he could be.
“Let’s just say I have some experience with knowing that there’s always more to a story than what you read. Or see. A lot of people are happy to accept surface-level impressions, but part of the reason I moved here was to stop living like that. And beneath all of the headlines, you had a wife who cheated on you repeatedly with your supposed best friend. A friend who set you up for drug possession to clear himself. I think I’d have an assault charge of my own. It sounds like you needed the fresh start and to get away from all of the people who were hanging on for what you could give them.”
His throat was uncomfortably tight. Other than a very small group of people, no one had ever had his back unconditionally. Frankie’s words and the sincerity in her eyes were like balm on a third-degree burn. His voice felt thick when he spoke.
“Maybe. But because of all that, I don’t have much to give anyone else. I told you before, I’m not a risk worth taking, Frankie.” He wished his words held conviction and that the feel of her hand wasn’t searing his skin. She nodded, but her eyes didn’t agree. And neither did the pressure in his chest.
“You seem too strong to cave to the media. Why didn’t you fight back? Fix the lies?”
“Because then it would have seemed like I cared. And I was done caring. I was done proving myself.”
She nodded and her hand came up to rest on his face. He put his hand over it and held it against his cheek. It felt cool against his heated skin.
“They don’t know you,” she whispered.
“Who?”
“The media.”
Her certainty made his chest ache. “Jesus, Frankie. Do you ever not see rainbows?” He moved over on the couch. He couldn’t handle someone else, her, looking at him and not seeing who he really was. Especially when she’d just claimed to see through all the bullshit. “I’m divorced because I was shit at being married. I was wrapped up in myself and my career enough that I didn’t even notice that she was screwing one of my buddies.”
She stood up jerkily. “I’m not seeing anything other than what’s in front of me. Maybe it’s you who has vision problems.” She picked up her coat, pulled it on, and then whirled to face him. “You can’t make someone cheat on you, even if you’re an ass. That’s a choice she made, not you. You say you moved on because you didn’t care anymore, but you’re sitting here acting like what some stupid media outlets say about you is true.”
He stood up as she wrapped the ridiculously long, multicolored scarf around her neck.
“How do you know it isn’t?”
“Because in the couple weeks I’ve known you, the only person that can’t help but like you is you. Carter spends one afternoon with you and he seems like a better kid—like he has someone he might want to look up to. Sure, you were kind of a jerk the first couple times we met, but when you thought I was in trouble, you were there. No questions asked. You helped me look for a little boy you didn’t even know. You’re funny and smart, and so goddamn annoying, it’s maddening. But you’re also kind and good. And real. You came here to get away from what everyone was saying, but it doesn’t do you any good if you’re going to walk around believing it anyway.”
She started walking to the door while he still stood there, open-mouthed. She’d made it to the edge of the living room when he finally moved to catch up with her. Grabbing her arm, he swung her around. She tipped her head back, scrunching her nose and looking like she wanted to yell some more.
“I’ve made more mistakes than I can count,” he said quietly. Her frustration made it easier to stay calm.
“Who the hell hasn’t?”
He smirked, pulled her closer. “You just swore,” he commented.
She rested her hands on her chest and let out a heavy breath. “Maybe you are a bad influence.”
He laughed, the ache in his chest loosening. Leaning down, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and the sweetness that was uniquely Frankie. When he opened his eyes, she was watching him. She kept watching him as she went up on tiptoe and kissed him. He’d practically drowned in her last time, but this time was softer, sweeter, and slower. She kissed one cheek then the other, the gentleness that was innately part of her thawing pieces of him that he’d thought were gone. When her lips found his again, he pulled her up tighter so he could close his mouth over hers, his hands sliding around to her back, down, until her couldn’t get any closer to her, not with clothes in the way. The kiss stayed gentle, alarmingly sexy, but gentle. Much like the woman he was kissing.
When she pulled away, she whispered his name. Not his last name like his teammates called him or some nickname the media dubbed him with. Not baby or honey. Just Ryan. She didn’t want anything from him. And damn if that wasn’t appealing.
“Stay,” he whispered, kissing her again, moving his lips to the soft spot beneath her ear.
“I can’t. I have to do a few more articles. My editor is expecting them tonight.” She arched her neck so he could continue. He laughed against her skin.
“What are these ones on? I could help you research,” he said, nibbling his way down to her collarbone. He smiled against it when he heard her sigh. Her breath was warm on his ear, sending tingles up his spine.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.
He pulled away and frowned at her, which just made her laugh. “Why not?” He remembered Cameron’s words. She’d said yes to dinner, but that didn’t mean anything. Frankie didn’t seem like the type to play anyone, but did she know that Cameron was interested in being more than neighbors?
She moved her hands up and down his T-shirt, causing the hem to slip up. Her fingers found his skin and he lost his train of thought. “Because you’re distracting and I wouldn’t actually get any work done. Because the boys are over there probably watching a scary movie that will give Miles nightmares. Because I have to figure some things out,” she answered.
Ryan rubbed his own hands up and down her back but he couldn’t feel as much of her as he wanted to through her coat.
“Things like what to wear for your dinner date with Cameron?” He didn’t want to ask. But he wanted to know. Her eyes widened and she started to say something, stopped, then started again.
“Uh—no. That’s not actually the most pressing thing on my mind. He asked, I said yes. There’s no romantic interest on my part.”
He shrugged. “Might want to tell Cam that.”
“I guess I’ll have to spell it out for him. Apparently, men aren’t very good at reading plain-as-day signals. For instance, you seem to be missing the obvious signs of who I am interested in.”
Her eyes darted away before looking down to where her fingers were drawing circles on his chest. He shouldn’t need reassurance. He fucking hated that the words she said soothed an ache inside of him.
“I guess I’ve noticed a few signs. The way you stare at me and find reasons to be around me,” he said, trying to lighten the tension that was making the room feel smaller. She smacked his chest and looked up at him with laughing eyes.
“It’s nice of you to be so gracious about all that.” She tried to fight her smile by biting her bottom lip. The muscles around his heart contracted, hard and fast. Like they weren’t used to feeling anything so good.
“I should be pushing you in his direction. You deserve someone…more solid. Better at this sort of thing,” Ryan said, the truth of that weighing heavily in his gut.
“You seem plenty solid to me.” She shook her head when she looked up at him. Running both hands up his chest, she wound them around his neck, going back on her tiptoes. “I don’t need a matchmaker. If you’re not into me, I can handle that, Ryan. But don’t tell me who I should be attracted to or hook up with based on what you think you know about me.”
She kissed him again, long enough that he forgot she needed to go. Until she reminded him as he was pulling on the zipper of her jacket that she couldn’t stay. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d truly wanted anyone to stay. Which scared the hell out of him, but not enough to make him push her away. With one more lingering kiss, Frankie pulled back and out of his arms. He stayed rooted to the spot he was in so he was less tempted to haul her back.
“I hear you’re going to Cameron’s open house thing,” Ryan said. He crossed his arms over his chest and his jaw tightened.
“Yes. He invited me. We can go together,” she answered, hand on the doorknob.
It’s what he’d wanted to hear, but still, uncertainty spread in his gut. The sensation burned, like acid on a wound. “That should be interesting, seeing as he all but told me you’re going as his date.”
She blinked and stepped away from the door. “Ryan. I’m not. I didn’t tell him that. I did say yes to dinner with him sometime, but I told him I wanted to know more about the issues he supported. I was thinking that something in his campaign platform might work in the boys’ favor. If he thinks it was more, then he heard what he wanted to hear. Did you really think I’d let you kiss me in my kitchen and then make a date with someone else ten minutes later?”
Ryan ground his teeth together. When she said it like that, it sounded stupid, like he was an insecure fucking teenager. What did he care if she had dinner with the guy? But it must have shown on his face that he did, because she stepped closer to him.
She didn’t touch him, but her voice moved over him like a caress. “Now, if you wanted to ask me out to dinner, it would be entirely different.”
“Do you want to have dinner with me?”
She tipped her head back and laughed. “I’ll think about it.”
He kissed her again, feeling like he could do just that for hours. He couldn’t stop himself from wrecking the moment though, from getting out the words he needed to say. “I don’t share. If we’re dating or a…thing or whatever the hell you want to call it, and Cam makes a move, he might end up eating his teeth.”
She put both of her hands on his cheeks and looked at him with so much affection that he felt the same pinch in his chest as he had when he’d pulled out the bat his brother gave him. He kept his hands on her waist.
“I’m not entirely sure, but I think that was really sweet. The thing is, you don’t have to worry about anyone else if you trust me. And I promise, Ryan, you can trust me,” she said softly, almost like she was soothing him. His fingers tightened on her waist.
He wanted her, but he had to be honest. “I’m not great at promises. Giving them or taking them.”
She nodded, like that made sense. “Good thing I’m not asking you for any then.” Opening the door, she gave a one-sided smile, a hint of something he couldn’t name in her eyes. “I like pizza. And movies. Especially on big-screen TVs.”
His nerves unwound and he smiled. “Pretty easy to please. Tomorrow night?”
She nodded. “It’s a date.”
When she left, he stood in the foyer staring at the closed door. He’d just made a date with a woman who baffled him, turned him on, and made him laugh. He’d had plenty of dates in his life. Lots of girlfriends. He should have kept it at that, but he’d added wife to that list. And then ex-wife. But he’d never met a woman like Frankie, a woman who was innately kind, generous to a fault, and calm. One that wasn’t satisfied with outward appearances and had to keep digging until she got to the heart of what was really there. She’d done that with the boys and she was doing it with him. No, he’d never dated a woman like Frankie Vaughn. That both excited and terrified him.