Miles belted himself into the backseat. “Can we go to the family fun night, Frankie?” Frankie waited her turn to back out, surprised by the heavy parking lot traffic. She glanced at Miles, who had been feeling a lot better and showing more of his true-non-sick self. Apparently, healthy Miles loved to talk, jump, and run. Often. Sometimes all together.
“I don’t know about that, bud. I’m trying to figure out a more permanent situation for you guys and that could raise a lot of questions,” Frankie said. She pulled onto the road and turned left toward home. Miles was peeking in one of the many bags that she’d come out of the home store with. He looked up and caught her eye in the rear view mirror.
“Can’t we just say we’re a family for now?”
Frankie’s heart skipped several beats then thudded hard against her chest. She wanted that, she realized. She hadn’t even known them a month ago. How had she grown attached to these three so quickly? Carter was a moody teen, Travis was so quiet that Frankie wondered if he was hiding something, and Miles, now that he wasn’t coughing up his innards, never stopped talking. But they made her life feel full. Meaningful. This is what she’d been searching for—this feeling of belonging, having a purpose.
After her aunt’s death, Frankie couldn’t stop thinking about what she, herself, was contributing to the world. Frankie wondered what she’d be leaving behind and it had scared her when the answer she came up with was: nothing.
“What did you guys do before? Doesn’t your teacher ever wonder where your parents or your family are?” She’d asked the other boys but getting straight answers out of them was like digging in cement. She turned onto their street, her stomach rumbling, reminding her she hadn’t eaten that much at lunch.
“Nah. Carter writes my notes when I need them and told me to say my mama works lots. I gotta do my homework and be real good in class or Trav says they’ll take me away and Carter says he’ll burn my butt,” Miles told her. They’d learned to adjust, cover the blank spaces, well enough that no one had noticed. She’d barely stopped the car when Miles jumped out, seeing Ryan and his brothers in their front yard.
Frankie laughed, shaking her head. She wanted to tell him that there’d be no butt burning, but Miles didn’t seem all that concerned. Ryan caught her eye and winked. Sparks of pleasure spread through her but she tried to be nonchalant. After looking him up, she realized he probably had women fawning all over him, and then she’d had the unpleasant experience of seeing that truth first hand when they’d gone out together. Though he seemed to prefer genuine to phony, there was no need to overplay her cards. Besides, he was keeping one foot out so it was safer for her to do the same.
“Hey there, looks like you have your own baseball team,” she called out, grabbing the backpack Miles had left in the car. Carter was holding a bat and Travis was throwing a ball up, down, up, down, his eyes never leaving it. Ryan turned, put his hands on his hips, like he did. It shouldn’t be sexy. But it was.
“You’re kidding right?”
“About what?” she replied, stepping closer to him. Miles tried to catch the ball Travis was tossing.
“How many players on a team?” Ryan’s lips were smiling, but his eyes were serious.
Frankie smiled, gave a quick laugh, and stepped back. He grabbed her hand. His eyes smiled at her playfully. “Tell me you at least know how many on the field.”
The boys stopped what they were doing to look at her and she looked down at her feet, mumbling a guess.
“What’d she say?” Carter asked. She mumbled again.
“I think she said fifteen,” Miles piped up.
Ryan groaned. “Have you ever watched a baseball game?” He used his finger to nudge her chin up so she could see that he was laughing. There were a lot of important things in the Vaughn household: making a good impression, hanging out with the right people. Baseball? Not so much. Frankie smacked his chest and glared at the boys.
“Have any of you ever written a four-page spread for Cosmo? Do you know how many times you should dye your hair in a year? Do you know the top ten signs that a relationship is over or how to tell if a man is cheating?” Her voice rose at the end and though they were teasing, she felt outnumbered.
“I don’t know how to tell,” Miles said sincerely.
“I ain’t dying this mess,” Travis said in his low, monotone voice.
“Dude, we got Cosmo kicking around here?” Carter asked.
Frankie shook her head and tossed Miles his backpack. Ryan tried to take the bat from Carter, tugging on the barrel when the kid didn’t release it right away. The kid’s almost-smile disappeared when he realized they were done playing. Travis dropped the ball in Ryan’s hand and picked up Miles’s backpack for him.
“You got homework?” Travis asked. Miles shook his head and they waved, heading inside. Carter shuffled his feet and Frankie looked back and forth between him and Ryan.
“Tomorrow?” Carter asked Ryan.
“We’ll see. You need to talk about it with Frankie.”
Carter’s face scrunched in frustration, making him look, for a moment, like a regular sixteen year old instead of a weary teen with too much on his shoulders.
“Talk about what?” Frankie asked. She didn’t like being out of loops.
“He’ll talk to you. But let me talk to her first.”
“A’ight.” Carter gave a smile that looked more like a grimace and went into the house.
Frankie turned to Ryan, unsure of which of the many emotions swirling in her chest to show. He didn’t give her a chance or a choice. He put the ball and bat down and scooped her up into his arms. His mouth was on hers before she had a chance to agree or disagree. Once his lips slanted over hers, his warm mouth taking its time saying hello, her body had already made the choice. Her arms wound around him as he hugged her tighter and she had to remind herself that even if there weren’t three boys in her house, there were neighbors and they were outside. Which meant that as soon as Ryan stopped taking thrilling little nips at her jaw and gave her one more kiss, she’d put some space between them. When he did kiss her again, she sighed, falling into him completely and taking more of what she wanted. It was him who pulled back, though she told herself she would have—eventually.
“How was your day?” he asked, his voice rough like he’d just woken up. Or been kissed really well.
“It was good. I learned a few things about the system. I need to make some choices, soon, before whatever say I can have disappears entirely,” she said, trying not to show her concern.
“I could talk to a lawyer but I think, really, what’s holding you up is whether or not to keep them with you,” he said, his arms locked around her.
She cast her glance downward, staring at the pattern on his T-shirt. “Which makes me wonder why you’d want to be dating a woman who could possibly have three children in her life for a very long time. Or a woman who would let those same three children get lost in the system. A woman who writes fluffy magazine articles and doesn’t know how many players are on the field at one time,” Frankie said quietly. It was the first time she’d felt constricted in his arms.
He frowned at her words. “That kind of came out of nowhere.”
She nodded. “It just occurred to me, I guess.”
“I don’t know what I want—I’ve been straight with you about that,” he said, dropping his arms. She felt a shiver run through her from the sudden lack of heat, or possibly his tone. “But I do know that I like being with you, a lot. Those boys are great kids and I’ve seen how you are with them so I know that whatever decision you make, it will be what you think is best. There are nine players on the field, should it come up again. And if you don’t like your job, don’t do it. But don’t make it out to be something less than it is. You support yourself, and apparently three kids, doing what you do.”
He picked up the bat and she thought he was finished his rant. He came closer, towering over her so she had to tip her head back to see him. She didn’t know why these worries were slapping at her, but how much should she let herself fall when she didn’t know where she would land?
“I’m not different now that you know I used to play baseball. I’m still the same screwed up, unemployed—”
She cut him off before he could finish. “You are a national sports star. You could be anywhere, doing anything, with anyone. I’d be an idiot if I wasn’t curious or, as much as I hate to even say it out loud, a little insecure about the answers to those questions.” She couldn’t help how she felt. Mostly, she was happy with who she was, but really, she didn’t feel like she had a lot to offer a man who was used to getting everything. Telling him that only seemed to piss him off.
“I’m a retired sports star. I came here because I wanted to. I’m staying because I like it. I am doing what I want and I’ll tell you this once and you can believe me or not, but if you don’t, that’s on you. I don’t lie because I goddamn hate being lied to. If I’m with someone, I’m with them. I don’t bullshit and I don’t play games. I’m with you because you’re the first thing that’s made me wake up happy since my life started to come apart. You’re hot as hell and even though I like those boys, I can’t wait until you figure out a way to keep them all busy at the same time for a few hours just so I can prove how much I like you.”
His breath was uneven when he stopped and stared at her, his eyes daring her to question him. Her heart had made its own decision while she’d been listening and it was good and hooked.
“I’m not usually insecure,” she said quietly.
“Then don’t be now. You’re the first person in so long that has really seen me. Don’t stop because of what I used to be. Please,” he said quietly, cupping her cheek. She leaned into it. His hands smelled like wood and she stepped toward him.
“A few hours, huh?”
He laughed. “At least.”
She couldn’t hide her grin. “I’ll see what I can do about getting a few hours free so you can prove yourself,” she teased.
He gave a rough laugh and kissed her forehead. “You do that,” he said, still laughing when his lips found hers again for a much gentler, quicker kiss.
She watched him walk away, back to his house, the bat on his shoulder. She picked up the ball, tossed it in the air, and caught it. When he got to his porch, he turned, and though she couldn’t make out his features, she knew he was looking at her. She waved and walked toward her own house, trying to come up with a plan for finding a few hours alone with him.