Tess

‘It’s like a film …’

‘I know. I can’t stop thinking about how incredibly sad it is.’

Tess and Holly were in one of the new nail bars that had proliferated on the high street. The prettiest one. Holly had decreed that they couldn’t give up their regular outings, but that they should probably give up the pubs and wine bars that were their habit – and so they were having their toes ‘done’. On a school night. ‘While you can still see yours, that is,’ she’d joked to Tess, when she’d rung to confirm the booking she’d made.

Tess had told Holly about the letters.

‘And how extraordinary for Iris never to have said anything. I mean, she’s got to have told your granddad, right?’

Tess shrugged. ‘How would I know?’

‘And there’s no one to ask?’

‘No one.’ Tess thought about Iris’s face, when she’d asked her.

Holly was watching her. ‘Do you wish you hadn’t found them, in a way?’

Tess considered. ‘I don’t know. It’s frustrating. No. I mean –’

‘That’s clear, then,’ Holly smiled fondly. ‘And Donna? What does she say?’

‘She’s like me. Except I suppose it’s even weirder for her, not having known before.’

‘You and she … you’re getting on, aren’t you?’

‘Best we have in … can’t remember. Best ever, maybe.’

‘I’m jealous.’ Holly was ninety per cent joking. Her bottom lip was jutted out for comedic effect. ‘I’m still your favourite person, right?’

The girl crouched at Holly’s feet held up the bottle of dark-red polish for confirmation. Holly nodded. Tess’s girl was still bent studiously over her cuticles. It wasn’t an entirely comfortable sensation. Not nearly as comfortable, truthfully, as sitting in a deep, upholstered booth at the pub with a small bowl of ready-salted crisps in front of you, but Tess didn’t want to be churlish.

‘My favourite ex utero person, absolutely. Indubitably, in fact.’

Holly narrowed one eye. ‘Never really knew what that word meant, to be honest.’

‘And you a teacher! The shame …’

‘Piss off. I mean, I’d just about got rid of that Sean character. The pesky kid is still months away … I was in, man. Right in.’

‘You’ve always been right in, Hols. Despite my best efforts to get rid of Ben and Dulcie.’ The two of them laughed at their own banter.

‘And now Donna is doing a passable impression of being your mother.’ Holly was allowed: she’d been around for years. Tess laughed. ‘Muscling in on my person action. I mean, I was going to suggest myself as your doula,’ Holly told her.

‘You what? What’s one of them?’

‘Like a midwife, but not. A birthing companion.’ Tess nodded, and considered the proposition.

Holly’s face was suddenly more serious. ‘I mean, if you were worrying about being by yourself …’

‘I wasn’t, until now.’ Not quite true. Being alone and in labour was one of the late-at-night thoughts Tess had.

‘I mean, strictly at the head end. I’ve gone this long without seeing your bits, despite some memorable nights out and Turkish baths, and I can go longer. But I’m serious, Tess. If you wanted someone with you …’

Tess squeezed Holly’s hand where it lay on the armrest between them. ‘Thank you.’

‘I can peel grapes, count gaps between contractions, put flannels on your head. I’ve watched an awful lot of One Born Every Minute. I’m practically qualified, I think.’

‘Thank you.’ She was still holding Holly’s hand. When she looked at her friend’s face, Tess was surprised to see tears in Holly’s eyes.

‘Oy. I’m supposed to be the one with hormones all over the place. What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong. I just … I just love you. I don’t want you worrying about stuff like that.’ Holly rubbed a tear away roughly with her free hand. ‘Sorry.’

‘I love you too. Can we stop this now, please?’ She moved her hand away. ‘I have a far more pressing issue …’

Holly looked at her quizzically.

‘Dark red. Or bright pink? For my toes. While I can still see them?’