Tess

The doctor listened to Iris’s chest. Two aides helped to lift her from the mattress, and a nurse gently pulled up her nightdress so he could listen to her back. Tess went to the window so she didn’t have to see Iris’s frailty. When they’d laid her down again, the nurse smoothed her hair, smiling tenderly at her. The doctor turned to Tess.

‘I’m afraid I think it’s pneumonia.’

Tess took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Will she need to go to hospital?’

He shook his head. ‘We can keep her comfortable here.’

‘Thank God.’

He paused. ‘You should be prepared, Tess. In my opinion, it’s quite unlikely that Iris is going to recover from this.’

‘Whatever we do?’

He nodded, choosing his next words carefully. ‘Care would be largely palliative at this time. Keeping her comfortable.’

‘That’s all she’d want. It’s all I want for her.’

‘We can keep her comfortable. She can stay here.’

Tess stroked Iris’s arm.

‘How long?’ She didn’t look at him. Her eyes stayed focused on Iris.

‘It’s hard to say specifically. Not very long, I would think. She’s quite weak.’

‘And will she be … is she likely to be responsive at all?’

‘Again, that’s hard to know at this stage. She’ll sleep, most of the time. We’ll be giving her something to help with that. But I can’t say for definite that she won’t wake. When was she last lucid?’ He looked from Tess to the nurse.

Tess wished she could remember.

The nurse shook her head gently. ‘She’s been very calm. I haven’t seen her distressed. She’s an angel to look after, aren’t you, Iris?’ She stroked Iris’s other arm.

‘This isn’t an exact science, Tess.’

‘But she won’t be in any pain?’

‘No. She won’t. She’ll slip away. I hate that expression, but it’s the truth. It is mostly very gradual.’

Tess nodded, wanting to thank him, but suddenly couldn’t speak. This was it. It was better, she knew, this way. The residents’ lounge was full of people much haler than Iris. Living half-lives. This is what Iris would want, what she would choose if she could.

The doctor and nurse went together into the hall, pulling the door to. She heard him issue instructions, saw the nurse make a note on her chart.

Tess felt peaceful. There was nothing more she could do. This was it. All she needed to do was to be with her. She took her seat next to Iris’s bed. She’d need to text Donna. She’d need to do a lot of things. But, right now, she needed to be here.

She whispered, ‘It’s okay, Iris. You can go. You can go.’