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December 27, 1819
A
rabella lifted her face to the softly falling flakes of snow. “Look how large they are.” At least two inches in diameter, their lacy patterns were a small miracle, and when they landed on her black cloak, each one was intricately different than the last. “How lovely.”
“I can’t argue with that,” Graham said in a hushed voice, but he wasn’t looking at the winter precipitation.
She prodded his arm and they continued with their walk. “You’re missing it as long as you keep your gaze on me.”
Not that she minded, for the opportunity to be alone—more or less—with Lord Bonham was most welcome. After a light luncheon, a few of them had decided to form a walking party of sorts since the rain had turned to snow. As it was, the handful of people from the castle—including the two children—were a good ten feet or so ahead of her and Graham. Their chatter and laughter drifted back and provided a pleasant atmosphere to the afternoon.
“How can I not when you’re easily the most interesting creature out here?” he responded, and he used the relative privacy to thread her hand through the crook of his elbow.
The heat of him seeped into her side. When the elusive scents of cedarwood, leather, and spices wafted to her nose, Arabella stifled a sigh at the last second. Never had she passed days as wonderful as she had while at Ivy Castle. It was a reprieve from life she wouldn’t soon forget. Knots of worry pulled in her belly at the thought of leaving.
“Tell me about your life in London.”
A frown marred the perfection of his expression. It was almost criminal that such chiseled lips should do anything but grin. “I suspect you live there as well when you’re not in the country. Yes?”
She nodded. “I do, but my existence is ever so much duller than yours.” When he didn’t immediately answer, she sighed. “No doubt you’ve attended all sorts of functions during the Season, and I’ll wager you have clubs you frequent, to say nothing of the different ladies you must escort to various events.”
“Mmm.” For the space of a few heartbeats, he remained silent. When she assumed he’d change the subject, he finally spoke. “London is a wonderful city. Full of life and gaiety and interesting things to find a distraction. It’s one of my favorite places in the world.”
“You’re quite popular, I’m sure.”
He chuckled, and the sound sent a host of tingles through her belly. “I suppose. I’m often chased down to make up numbers at dinner parties.” When he shrugged, the gesture tugged her slightly closer to his side. “I won’t lie and say I haven’t found entertainment with the ladies, for you already know of my reputation as a rogue.” As he turned his head and found her gaze, emotions she couldn’t read clouded his eyes. “However, since my trip to Ivy Castle this Christmastide season, as each day goes by, that life becomes more of a memory to me.”
Excitement buzzed at the base of her spine. “Do you mean to quit London altogether?”
“I don’t know that I could ever do such a thing. London is life. It’s the center of my well-being and where I conduct my business affairs.” Graham shook his head. “However, I’ve had much time to think over things while at the castle. The rogue I used to take such pride in being suddenly pales in comparison to what else I might become instead.”
“Oh?” Was it possible he wished to usher in a new lifestyle due to meeting her? Then in the next breath, she dismissed the thought. Hadn’t he just told her he’d thought about his life over the course of the house party? That was weeks before she’d arrived at Ivy Castle and told her sordid tale. “I wish you well in that endeavor. It’s always nice to see a man focus on bettering himself once the thrill of his vices pale.”
That wasn’t exactly what she’d meant to say, but she couldn’t recall the words.
The ghost of a grin curved his lips, and once more Arabella wished he might kiss her so she could take the memories of that with her into the terrible future that awaited her once the respite of being at Ivy Castle was over. “I do, indeed, wish to be a better man, for I believe it will help achieve goals I’ve never given thought to.”
“Meaning?”
“I’d rather not rush my fences.” He patted her hand and then laughed when a fat snowflake plopped upon her cheek. “It’s been a refreshing change to meet a woman of your caliber, Arabella.”
Her breath stalled as he brushed at the melting flake with the finger of a gloved hand. “Meaning I’m so far removed from the ladies you usually prefer?” she couldn’t help but add. A trace of bitterness clung to her voice, for it was obvious she wasn’t the type of female he preferred.
“Yes, exactly, but not in the derogatory way you assume.” With an eye to the remainder of the walking party, Graham pulled her toward a stand of winter-bare trees at one end of the small pond they headed toward. There would be no ice skating upon the surface today, for with the rain from the previous day, the integrity of the ice was in question. “There is something about you that is inherently different than women who aren’t searching for a forever sort of situation.”
“You speak of marriage.” It wasn’t a question, but her soul strained to hear his answer.
“Perhaps. This way of thinking is new to me and it’s still confusing.” He released her arm only to take her hands in his. “I’d like to hope that once my mind is made up, everything else will fall into place.”
“You’re quite the catch, if you don’t mind my penchant for plain speaking.” A blush raged in her cheeks, for the longer he peered into her face, the more dizzying sensations swept over her. “No doubt you’ll have your pick of ladies once back in London.” While I’ll have no choice except to go away with Lord Breckenridge. A shiver of revulsion coursed down her spine. “In many ways, I envy you the freedom,” she admitted in a barely audible whisper.
“You’ll have yours,” he answered in a fierce voice with the flashing eyes to match. “I don’t know how yet, but I do know that you will.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but we both know what awaits me all too soon. As your father said, there’s not much any of us can do.” She shook her head, hoping he couldn’t read her expression that no doubt revealed too much. “Perhaps it was foolish to come here and meet all of you, for it only makes me wish for things I’ll never have.” When tears threatened, she blinked them back. “But I’ll do what needs to be done and attempt to make the best of it.”
“It shouldn’t be your only choice.” Graham released one of her hands then cupped her cheek with such a light touch, she couldn’t help but give into the trembles dancing down her spine. “I abhor that women are treated so badly in our society even in this day and age.”
Past his shoulder, her gaze fell upon Lucy and John as they peered into the semi-frozen water at the edge of the pond, poking at various places with sticks. “Then teach the next generation. Give them the strength they need to defy outdated practices and show them how to stand up for themselves.”
“I will.” He stared down into her face while caressing her bottom lip with the pad of his gloved thumb then a shuddering sigh escaped him, and he dipped his head.
The second his mouth met hers, Arabella was lost. She laid a palm on his chest, slid her hand upward to curl about his nape as she gave herself into his care. This kiss held a sweet promise. It sought an introduction from her, but it also revealed so much more about Graham than he could ever tell her with mere words. He moved over her lips in a gentle quest that had her senses spinning and her dreams of love restored. The heat that one meeting imparted could make her melt the newly fallen snow around her.
“Graham!” The hail from one of the others broke the spell and they parted, putting a respectable distance between themselves. “We’re going back to the castle. It’s growing colder.”
He rested an intense gaze upon her before looking toward the walking party. “We’re coming!” Though he said nothing else, the wonder of that kiss remained with her and wrapped around the kernel of hope blooming in her chest. Again, he offered her his crooked arm. “I suppose we’ll have to endure endless hours of family games and conversation now,” he said with an apologetic smile.
“I don’t mind as long as you’re there.” Arabella slipped her hand around his elbow and sighed. “I’m going to miss Ivy Castle and everything in it terribly.”
But she would take refuge in that kiss for years to come.
As soon as they returned to the warmth of the castle, Graham was pulled away by his mother. Wanting to retrieve a book from her room, after Arabella gave her outer garments to a footman, she headed up the stairs.
The sound of angry raised voices from the drawing room on the second floor drew her interest, and as she crept closer, she identified the speakers as the duke and Lord Breckenridge. Cold dread slipped down her spine, and she paused at the partially open door to hear what they were saying.
“I won’t have any more of your tricks or delays, Whittington.” Icy annoyance threaded through Lord Breckenridge’s voice. “Miss Holly belongs to me, fair and square. I demand to see her, and I won’t leave until I do.”
“Even if she probably doesn’t wish to hear anything you have to say?” the duke asked, his tones cultured and steady, as if he were used to wrangling with angry peers all the time.
“That hardly matters,” the other man snarled in response. “This bit of foolishness is done. I’ll come away with my bride or not at all. That’s your choice.”
“Are you threatening me, Breckenridge? For if you are, I must tell you to watch yourself.” A warning growled through the duke’s voice.
“You have no right to keep her from me. The squire promised me her hand, and I’ve already paid for it. She belongs to me.”
Oh, dear Lord. The longer she eavesdropped at the door, the greater the fear grew in her chest. Then she made a decision that would forever affect her life. I can’t in good conscience marry Lord Breckenridge. If that meant she’d always be on the run, looking over her shoulder while she did, so be it. She’d do whatever it took to separate herself from that man, for she could never be his wife, no matter that her father was in his debt.
With a barely stifled cry of frustration, Arabella turned from the door. She pelted along the corridor toward the staircase but soon collided into the warm, strong wall of Graham’s chest.
“What’s this then?” Concern threaded through his voice as he wrapped his arms about her person in protection and to steady her steps. “Why the tears?” He peered into her face. Concern reflected in his eyes. “Why, you’re shaking. What has occurred?”
“I...” Oh, how nice it was to take refuge in this man’s arms! It was quite intoxicating and almost madness at how wonderful it felt to be cared for instead of treated like property. But time was of the essence, and she didn’t have the luxury of remaining. “Lord Breckenridge is here talking with you father,” she said in a rush. He means to leave with me post haste as his bride.” Her voice broke on the last word. “Your father is arguing the point right now.”
“Steady. You’re under no obligation to do that.”
She shook her head. Oh, why didn’t he understand she had no choice? “I must flee.” She tried to push out of his arms, but he merely held her tighter. “Let me go.” She shoved harder at his chest. “I must run, Graham!” Tears formed in her eyes. “Otherwise, Lord Breckenridge will cause trouble for your family. He’s within his rights to bring in a constable and force me to go with him.” A sob caught her in throat as fear rose up to meet it. “We both know your father can’t protect me. What’s done is done, and I need to find the courage to do my part.”
“You’re terrified of the man, Arabella! And for good reason.” Graham shook his head. He glanced between her and the drawing room door further down the corridor where shouts emanated.
“It doesn’t matter.” A few tears slipped to her cheeks. “I suppose my life never has where my father is concerned.” She met his gaze. Cold disappointment circled through her belly, for never again would she see him nor be in his company. “Goodbye, Graham. I wish you well in life—”
“No.” He took hold of her hand. “No more of such talk. Let me think upon the problem, for I promise you will not leave this castle as Lord Breckenridge’s bride.” His tone was so adamant that for a few fleeting seconds she believed him.
“But—”
“Come.” He ushered her into the first doorway they came to in the opposite direction of the drawing room, which was a large library lined with shelves of books she’d never be able to explore. Did Lord Breckenridge even care about such things as reading or literacy?
“This is only prolonging the agony.” Arabella yanked her hand from his. “Let me go, give me a head start from his pursuit and perhaps the use of an Ivy carriage. If all goes well, I can successfully hide from him for a few days...”
“What sort of a life is that though? How will you support yourself?” Doubt and denial warred for dominance in his eyes. “You’ll never be free, and if you’re caught by the authorities, they’ll make certain to haul you back to Breckenridge.”
“There is nothing any of us can do. Even your father thinks so.” A waver had set up in her voice. Her chin wobbled as tears once more threatened. “It’s easier this way. He can’t come after your family in retribution if I just go.” For a few glorious days she’d been free, she’d had dreams, she’d seen a glimpse of what life—and love perhaps—could be before it was dashed from her hand like a bread loaf from a beggar thief.
Life was nothing like what happened in storybooks with dashing heroes who rescued fair maidens in distress. It was raw and real and frightening. And it loomed before her with all the strength and terror of a dragon.
She took a few steps toward the door. “Goodbye, Graham. I’ll never forget you or your lovely family.”