THERE was blood everywhere.
The tension in the helicopter was tangible as they sped back to Strathlochan Hospital, where an emergency team was on standby, awaiting their arrival.
‘How long, Craig?’ Frazer demanded, swallowing a curse as the bumpy flight in appalling weather jostled them, and his gloved, bloodied hand lost its grip on Desmond Pollock’s mangled, partially severed right arm.
‘ETA seven minutes,’ Craig responded, his voice betraying his own stress. ‘Six if we’re lucky.’
‘We sure as hell need some luck if this guy is going to make it.’
At first Frazer had worried about Desmond losing his arm… Now the concern was whether the man would even live. Looking up, he met Callie’s anxious gaze. Like him, she was covered in blood and dirt, monitoring Desmond’s condition while squeezing yet another bag of fluids as fast as possible through the IV in his uninjured arm.
‘BP’s dropping,’ Callie announced quietly, leaning over the unconscious man as she called out the levels for pulse and respiration. ‘Saturation on oxygen ninety per cent and falling.’
‘Thanks.’
Cursing under his breath, Frazer adjusted the tourniquet again, working hard to control the haemorrhaging. In the worst December weather in living memory, Desmond had been outside, trying to cut more logs for the fire, when his chainsaw had slipped and nearly taken off his arm above the elbow. His distraught wife had managed to keep her head sufficiently to call for help, and had then done her best to stem the blood loss until the air ambulance arrived.
An immediate assessment had told Frazer there was no time for delay or heroics at the scene. They had just scooped Desmond up and made a dash for the hospital. Aside from the significant vascular damage and haemorrhage, there was considerable injury to tendons, nerves, muscle and bone. Desmond would face at least one major operation to repair the damage. Vein and tendon implantation, pins to fix the broken humerus, skin grafting and a long rehabilitation to regain what use he could of arm and hand function. If he lived. Frazer didn’t want to think about having to tell Desmond’s wife and children that the man they loved hadn’t survived.
Finally, the hospital loomed into view, and it was a bumpy landing in the lashing rain and gusting Arctic winds. The casualty team were ready for them, and the hand-over was swift as Desmond was transferred to Resus for emergency work before being whisked up to the operating theatre.
‘I hope he makes it.’ Callie sounded tired as she began to gather up their things.
‘We did everything we could.’ He took off his gloves and tossed them in the bin, glancing down at his soiled flight suit and jacket. ‘Time to get back and clean up before the next emergency.’
‘A hot shower sounds like heaven right now.’
Her comment brought a rush of erotic images to his mind. He closed his eyes, seeing Callie’s compact, curvy body under the spray of water, soapy rivulets running down her skin, and his hands— He snapped off his inappropriate thoughts and opened his eyes, his gaze clashing with hers. He could drown in those purple depths. The longing to be alone with her, to touch her, to kiss her, threatened to overwhelm him, but, sensing her nervousness, he reined in his need and stepped back a pace.
He’d been as patient as he could this last week, careful not to crowd her while at the same time making sure she felt more involved and part of things, gently getting closer to her. It was difficult—not only because it was taking longer than he’d hoped to win her trust, but also because with every passing day he just wanted to take her in his arms and love her. He had never had such an intense attraction to a woman as he did to Callie. He wanted to protect her, care for her, share all of himself with her.
Keeping things light—for now—he tapped the tip of her nose with one finger before ushering her ahead of him out of the hospital and back to the helicopter, where Craig was waiting for them. Resisting the urge to sweep her up in his arms, his let his gaze stray over her shapely form, clad in the too-baggy clothes, as she climbed aboard for the short flight back to base.
The rest of their shift was hectic, and he had little time to worry about the apparent slowness of his campaign to win Callie round. They attended a middle-aged man with diabetes who was hypoglycemic…confused and shaky from low blood sugar. A fast-acting oral carbohydrate, an injection of glucagon and an intravenous dextrose solution followed by a saline flush helped to stabilise him, but given that he had no one at home to care for him, and he was unsure how he had allowed his blood sugar levels to dip, they took him to the hospital for further monitoring.
Next they saw a toddler who had pulled a kettle off the kitchen worktop, resulting in partial thickness burns to her arm and leg, and a woman suffering an asthma attack whose oxygen saturation was worryingly low at eighty per cent, and who needed salbutamol via nebuliser and pure oxygen. Both patients required hospitalisation. Their final call was to yet another motorway collision, involving several vehicles, where they met Rigtownbrae GP and BASICS doctor Kyle Sinclair at the scene. Kyle had called for them to transfer a teenage boy with a nasty penetrating wound to his abdomen and suspected damage to his liver, who needed urgent surgical intervention.
Away from the base, Frazer wished he could spend more time with Callie, especially in the run-up to Christmas, but she was still wary, and he knew he needed to take things slowly, however frustrating it felt. His chance came a couple of days later. Having involved her in some activities, he couldn’t wait until lunch time, when he was picking her up for the next stage in his plan.
Smiling, wrapped up against the cold, he left his hillside cottage and walked Hamish through the woods and part of the sprawling grounds of Strathlochan Castle—the laird and his family having opened paths for local people to enjoy the countryside and the loch.
Frazer glanced at his watch, his impatience growing, his surroundings giving him less satisfaction than usual. All he wanted was to see Callie.
Something very strange had been happening since the morning Frazer had made her go to the hospital. Callie’s recollection of what had taken place after he’d driven her back to her rented house was hazy, to say the least, and all she really remembered was waking up in the afternoon, groggy and confused, to find Annie in situ. But everything had subtly shifted, and she hadn’t been able to get things back in balance since.
She wished she could recall exactly what had happened with Frazer. She had a nasty feeling that, under the influence of the medication, she had told him things she shouldn’t have, but of course she couldn’t mention it now, or ask him about it—not without the horrifying possibility of opening a can of worms.
Since that day Frazer had been increasingly warm and friendly, frequently touching her, draping an arm around her shoulders or resting a hand at the small of her back, ensuring she was all right. He had somehow cajoled her into taking part in things around the base and beyond—so much so that she had even started to feel that she did, indeed, belong in Strathlochan. In the week following her injury she had been sweet-talked into going with him to give a talk about their work to a group of children at a local school. Then he and Annie had dragged her out one evening to go ten-pin bowling, which had proved to be massive fun, involving various departments and medical disciplines forming teams and resorting to outrageous tactics to try and win. Annie, Will Brown and two of the nurses from A and E, Gina McNaught and Holly Tait, had been vocally victorious.
Next had come a Christmas pizza night at the Strathlochan Arms, with the large but cosy pub decked out in festive finery, log fires burning. Again she’d had fun—far more so than she had expected—finding herself drawn in to the welcoming, friendly warmth. People seemed to be accepting her and Frazer as a couple beyond their work partnership, and it was most disconcerting. But, whilst attentive and caring, Frazer himself had been a model of propriety. Yet she was more and more aware of him with every day that passed. It was scary.
Yesterday had been spent with Annie, having lunch and doing some Christmas shopping. Strathlochan had been full of colour and cheer. Bursting with excitement, children had lined up to visit Santa’s grotto, while tinny carols rang out of nearly every shop doorway and a local band played in the town centre, the stand lavishly decorated and strung with flickering lights. Sellers nearby had plied shoppers with roasted chestnuts and hot chocolate. It had been the best day ever, a completely new experience: and Callie had soon been laden down with gifts for her new colleagues, for Annie, Craig and Francesca…and for Frazer. She had never had people to buy presents for before. Had never had a friend to giggle and gossip with, either. But Annie was incorrigible, singing Frazer’s praises and pushing her at him despite her protests, and despite knowing the truth about her.
Today, she had been suckered into joining in with some Christmas decoration party. Whatever the hell that was. Frazer was picking her up at any moment, which was why she was a nervous wreck and ridiculously flustered. She kept telling herself that this was just another work-related event—so why had she spent for ever fretting over what to wear? And why were a whole troop of butterflies conducting acrobatic manoeuvres in her stomach?
Having fed Pecan and Maple, she crossed to the window and looked out at the wintry scene. The wind had dropped and a pale sun struggled through patches of grey cloud. A new fall of snow overnight had coated the small garden, the pristine white blanket disturbed only by a few spiky footprints made by wild birds seeking scraps from the table and nut-holders she kept well stocked for them.
She tried to reassure herself that Frazer was only being nice to her because they were colleagues and, despite her initial chilly stance, he had stuck it out and helped her settle in. Unfortunately, she feared she was fooling herself. She couldn’t understand why he was remotely interested in her, but there was definite desire in his chocolate eyes when he looked at her. And with the unspoken acceptance that her marriage was over, her defences had been stripped away, the shield which she had been hiding behind torn down, and she was no longer immune to his charm.
The attraction was becoming a major problem—because she knew it could never go anywhere. No matter how much she was coming to admire him, to want him like crazy, she had to hold firm. Somehow. Yet it was increasingly difficult to maintain a distance. There was so much more to Frazer than she had first expected, and she believed Annie was right, that the rumours about his reputation were grossly exaggerated. Not that she imagined he’d ever been a monk. He was too sexy, too intelligent, too much fun not to have a bevy of women attracted to him. And, despite all her warnings, she was one of them. No matter how much she wished she could deny it, the sexual chemistry between them was palpable. But impossible.
The doorbell rang, startling her from her reverie and increasing her nervous tension a hundredfold. Sucking in a steadying breath, she walked down the narrow hallway and opened the front door, her stomach clenching at the sight of Frazer looking heart-stoppingly gorgeous in a temptingly soft leather jacket, chunky black jumper and faded jeans, the well-worn denim clinging to his hips and leanly muscular thighs in a way that made her pulse race and her mouth water. Disconcerted, she raised her gaze, her throat closing at the slow, dimpled smile, and the liquid chocolate eyes darkening with the unmistakable heat of desire.
‘Hi, Callie.’
Two words and his throaty voice seemed to wrap around her. ‘Hello.’
‘You look good.’
‘Thanks.’ His appreciation brought a flush to her face, although she didn’t think her ankle boots, grey jeans and lavender fleece were anything special. ‘Um, I’ll just fetch my coat and things,’ she mumbled, cursing her awkwardness, backing away as Frazer stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
Retreating, foolishly breathless, she gave herself a stern talking-to as she pulled on her coat, and gathered up her bag, cellphone and keys. She discovered Frazer in the sitting room, getting reacquainted with Pecan and Maple. Usually aloof and cautious with strangers, the two felines seemed no more immune to the man’s lethal charm than any other female, she noticed with a sigh, halting as he looked up and saw her.
Her heart thudded as Frazer closed the gap between them, her whole body trembling as he reached out to straighten a kink in the collar of her coat, his hands lingering, drawing her inexorably closer. She couldn’t breathe as his head bent and his lips, warm and supple, brushed her cheek. Her skin tingled. His subtle sandalwood aroma, earthy and sensual, teased and tantalised her. And she yearned to turn her head the scant distance necessary for their mouths to meet. Frightened at her weakness, the lure of temptation, she stepped back, feeling every throb of her pulse in her veins.
Frazer released her, long dark lashes veiling sultry eyes, a sexy smile playing at his mouth. ‘All set?’
‘Of course.’ She cleared her throat, trying to portray a cool unconcern she was far from feeling. ‘We should go.’
Callie was thankful for the diversion supplied by Hamish, who greeted her with customary enthusiasm when she climbed into Frazer’s car. The little dog was a dynamo, and devoted to his human companion. The perky Border terrier seemed to have two speeds—sleeping and warp—with little leeway in between, and he was never happier than when he was the centre of attention and being fussed over. A trait for which she was grateful as concentrating on Hamish allowed her time to attempt to get her emotions back in check and distance herself from Frazer.
The wheels crunched through the frozen top coating of new snow as Frazer drove slowly to the outskirts of town and a building which was surrounded by a large garden filled with shrubs and edged by mature trees.
‘What is this place?’ she asked, looking around with interest as Frazer found a space in a small but crowded car park.
‘It started out as a home for disabled children and those with special needs, but several years ago they opened a new wing as a children’s hospice,’ he informed her, hopping out and moving round to the back to take out some supplies. ‘I help out with the decorations each Christmas if I can. The children love it.’
Moved to discover yet another side to Frazer, she helped him carry the things to the front door, Hamish bouncing eagerly ahead of them. Their welcome was warm, and the interior of the home bore no similarity to the bland and depressing places she had been made to live in as an abandoned child. Everywhere was bright and clean, the staff were caring and friendly, and it was clear, as she met one child after another, that all their needs were catered for, and each was treated as an individual with respect and kindness.
It was a joyful few hours. Aside from helping put up decorations and strands of coloured lights in the public rooms and the children’s bedrooms they sang songs—Frazer surprising her anew with his talent playing the piano—and then they went outside with the more mobile children to build a snowman and indulge in a snowball fight, Hamish running excitedly around them. Cold and breathless, they trooped back inside to be warmed with cups of tea and piping hot homemade mince pies.
The final task was to move a huge tree into place in the common room. ‘The children decorate it themselves on Christmas Eve. I just climb the ladder to set the angel on the top,’ Frazer explained, stepping back from ensuring the tree was fully secure, before casting a last, satisfied gaze over their efforts.
‘It looks great.’ Callie couldn’t believe how quickly the time had passed, nor how much she had enjoyed herself. Turning round, finding herself looking into Frazer’s eyes, she swallowed, feeling vulnerable. ‘Thanks for inviting me. I’ve had a good time.’
‘I’m glad. You’ve been wonderful…and I enjoy your company,’ he added, eyes darkening as he took a step closer.
Oh, help! Rattled, horribly aware of him, she took a step backwards. ‘Frazer, I—’
Her words were cut off as several of the older children giggled and then a chant began, increasing in volume as more of the room’s occupants joined in. ‘Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!’
Confused, Callie glanced around, then followed Frazer’s gaze upwards, realising they had inadvertently come to a halt under a generous sprig of mistletoe. Her breath lodged in her lungs and her heart started hammering as Frazer smiled, raising one hand to cup her face, his touch igniting a flame of fearful anticipation as leaned towards her.
‘Wouldn’t want to disappoint them,’ he murmured, seconds before his lips settled on hers.
This was no brief, casual peck. A tremor rippled through her at the feel of Frazer’s mouth claiming hers for the first time. Shocked, she found herself returning the kiss, savouring his warm male taste as the tip of his tongue teased the seam of her lips, encouraging them to part before dipping boldly inside. Her hands clenched in his jumper and she swayed against him. Everything around them faded away—the chanting, the laughter, the cheeky comments. Nothing mattered but this unexpectedly erotic stolen moment. Almost as soon as it had begun Frazer was pulling back, regret and searing need in his eyes as he looked at her.
‘Next time we won’t have an audience, and we’ll do this properly,’ he whispered huskily.
Callie felt helpless, laid bare, scared witless. Shaking, sensitised from his kiss, she wanted to tell him there couldn’t be a next time, that it was impossible, but words refused to come. They stared at each other for endless moments, then Frazer turned aside, and she realised he was sheltering her from the rest of the room, giving her time to get herself back together.
Her emotions were in a whirl. This should never have happened. She had tasted forbidden fruit and now she wanted more, wanted everything, and she couldn’t have it. A shiver ran down her spine…regret, fear, anger, disappointment all bringing a chill to her blood and dampening her mood. Ignoring Frazer, she concentrated on clearing up, managing a smile for the children and staff, thankful it was time to say their goodbyes and leave. She needed time alone to shore up her breached defences.
It was dark when they went outside, frost descending, and she snuggled deeper into her coat. Once in the four-by-four, Hamish circled a couple of times on the back seat, then curled up to snooze, and Frazer wasted no time in firing the engine and switching on the heater.
‘Cold?’ he asked.
Callie shrugged, increasingly uncomfortable at what had happened between them. ‘A bit.’
‘It will soon warm up.’ She could feel his gaze on her for a moment before he turned his attention back to the road and pulled out of the car park. ‘We have one more stop to make.’
‘OK.’
She didn’t know what else to say. All she wanted was to go home, to try to decide how to cope with this latest disaster, but she didn’t want Frazer to know how deeply affected and disturbed she was by their kiss.
‘We’re here.’
Frazer’s words drew her from her thoughts, and she looked out into the darkness as he turned up a wide driveway near the broad expanse of loch that edged the town, moonlight casting a shimmering glow across the stillness of the water. He drew the vehicle to a halt outside a modern building. Callie climbed out, curious despite her distracted mood. Hamish jumped out, too, and, having collected a couple of bags from the back of the car, Frazer disconcerted her further by taking her hand in his, linking their fingers as he walked around the side of the building along a lighted pathway bordered by evergreen shrubs. For a moment all her awareness centred on the point where his flesh touched hers, then he released her and inserted a key in the lock of a numbered front door, ushering her in ahead of him. Hamish bounded inside the warm, bright flat and disappeared. Closing the door, Frazer turned to face her.
‘Can I take your coat?’
Callie slipped it off and watched as he hung it up, along with his leather jacket. ‘Where are we?’ she asked, a flicker of concern tightening her nerves.
‘I promised the other most important woman in my life that I’d bring you to meet her.’ His dimpled smile in no way blunted the shock she felt at the words—shock that made her slow to react when he took her hand again and led her down the hall. ‘Come along.’
The very last thing she wanted was to meet one of his women. And she was scared to know what he meant by ‘the other most important woman in my life’. Callie tried to protest, to dig her heels in and insist he take her home, but they were already in a small but attractive sitting room, and her arguments died in her throat as she looked at the woman sitting in a comfy armchair by the fire, Hamish in her lap. The little dog jumped down and the woman rose stiffly to her feet, opening her arms to Frazer, a broad smile of pleasure on her face.
‘Frazer, darling!’
‘Hello, sweetheart.’
Callie watched as he enveloped the elderly grey-haired lady, who was as round as she was tall, into a bear hug. When she was released, the woman turned with a smile, blue eyes twinkling with enjoyment and kindness.
‘You must be Callie,’ she greeted, holding out a hand in welcome. ‘Frazer has told me so much about you, my dear.’ Her eyes twinkled with mischief. ‘You’ve made quite an impression.’
His hand resting at the small of her back, Frazer urged her forwards. ‘Callie, this is my grandmother, Lily McInnes.’
Swept along with the introductions, Callie found herself sitting next to Lily, Hamish curled in front of the fire at their feet, while Frazer made them all tea and then busied himself with some festive decorations for the woman who was unmistakably his beloved gran. Discovering there was so much more to Frazer than the casual playboy was dangerous. It would be so much safer if she disliked him. But she didn’t. Indeed, she was becoming more drawn to him by the hour.
‘How are you finding Strathlochan, Callie? Are you settling in and enjoying your job?’
Although unused to such attention, Callie found herself relaxing. The elderly lady was marvellous. Full of life and humour. ‘I really like it here, and the job is all I hoped it would be,’ she answered honestly, conscious that Frazer was nearby and listening in as Lily continued to bombard her with questions.
‘And what are you doing for Christmas, dear?’
Surprised, Callie looked down at Hamish to hide her discomfort. ‘I’m not sure. I…’
‘You must come and spend the day with us,’ Lily insisted, patting her hand. ‘No one should be alone at Christmas.’
‘Oh, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. Honestly.’
She saw Lily share a look with Frazer before speaking again. ‘Well, we’ll see come the time. It’s going to be our first year without the rest of the family, so we’d love your company. Frazer’s sister, Fiona, married an Australian. Steve is a chef. He was working over here but they live in Melbourne now. My son and daughter-in-law, Frazer’s parents, retired eighteen months ago, and last January they moved out there to be closer to their grandchildren.’
‘I see,’ Callie murmured, taken aback by all she was learning.
‘Frazer, be a darling and check the cauliflower cheese I put in the oven. It should be ready soon, and then we can eat.’
Glancing round, she saw Frazer leave the room to follow his grandmother’s bidding, but she had no opportunity to protest about staying for a meal as Lily was speaking again, chuckling as she gently rubbed Hamish’s tummy with the rubber end of her walking stick as the dog rolled on to his back.
‘Frazer had been working in London, mostly in A and E, but with a six-month stint on the helicopter with HEMS. He came back to Strathlochan when his parents left—he said it was time, but I fear it was so I wouldn’t be here alone. Silly boy! He wanted me to live with him but I’d have none of it—even though we’re so close.’ Callie couldn’t help but return Lily’s effervescent smile. The woman was a real character. ‘I moved to this warden-assisted retirement place. As I said to Frazer, living with him would cramp my style.’
A laugh sounded behind them, a rich, attractive sound, and Callie turned to see Frazer’s eyes sparkling, twin dimples creasing his cheeks, his affection for his grandmother obvious.
‘You’re a wicked woman, Gran,’ he teased. ‘Goodness knows what you’d get up to with all the single gentlemen here without me to keep an eye on you.’
Callie tried not to be affected, to harden her heart to this warm and endearing side of him. Concerned for his grandmother, he had given up a lucrative job and exciting lifestyle in London to come back here and make sure she was all right and had company. That, combined with his skills as a doctor, his kindness to patients and colleagues alike, meant her view of him had changed drastically from that first unfortunate meeting.
Unlike Frazer, she had never had any family—had never known her parents, had never had a happy Christmas. Her childhood had been one of loneliness, of never belonging, of having no one to depend on or trust but herself. Life’s lessons had been hard.
Anything beyond friendship with Frazer was out of the question, but day by day she was realising what might be possible here in Strathlochan…if she could just open up enough to reach out and allow herself to be drawn into the warmth of this community, to grasp the friendship offered by Frazer, Annie, Francesca and her other colleagues.