By the time the gentlemen joined us I had returned to a kind of sanity. Clanross was not to wed Bella. That did not mean he wished to marry me, I told myself several times. I even brooded a bit over the possibility that Clanross was wearing the willow for Bella. They'd been in each other's company all the way to Dublin, time enough for him to fall under her spell. If he had, her betrothal to Willoughby of all men must cause him pain. How tenderly would I console him. At that point I caught a bubble of laughter as it tickled my throat and converted it to a cough just in time.
In the next interval Bella brought Willoughby to receive my congratulations. He looked as sheepish and defensive as it is possible for a gentleman of fashion to look.
My heart went out to him. "I felicitate you, Willoughby. You're a lucky man."
"Now, Liz..."
I couldn't resist one small gibe. "How very happy your mother must be, cousin."
"Mrs. Conway-Gore--I must learn to call her maman--has said everything that is kind," Bella interposed smoothly. "Ah, here is Clanross. Tom, I hope you won't stumble tomorrow in all that velvet and ermine."
"Are you casting aspersions on my sobriety?"
"On your sense of balance."
"Physical or political?" Clanross asked dryly. "You look dashing, Bella."
She chuckled. "I look bridal. I couldn't resist white."
Willoughby snorted. "One in the eye for all those old cats. Sorry, 'Lizabeth." He was a trifle foxed.
"Think nothing of it. How do you, Clanross?"
"Well enough, considering all the velvet and ermine. I saw the girls on the stairs."
As I was telling him of the twins' social venture, Anne came up and captured Bella and Willoughby for a round of congratulations. I saw the whites of Willoughby's eyes. Bella favoured me with a wink. Clanross caught the byplay and looked puzzled.
"Jean and Maggie are impatient to hear you speak," I said hastily. His brow cleared. "Are you staying that long?"
"It will be Tuesday of next week, Featherstonehaugh says."
"With luck. More likely Wednesday."
"Never tell me you're suffering from stage-fright!"
"For you won't believe me." He sighed. "It can't be much worse than storming a breach. I daresay I'll survive. At the moment I'm more grievously afflicted with political indigestion than nerves. Your brother-in-law and I don't see eye to eye."
"Mercy, if Featherstonehaugh troubles you, how can you stick Dunarvon? His opinions make even Aunt Whitby sound like Mr. Cobbett."
Clanross's eyes lit and my heart lurched. "My dear Elizabeth, nothing could make your aunt sound like William Cobbett."
I laughed. I felt light as a bird and twice as flighty. "What think you of Willoughby's matrimonial plans? Speaking of Aunt Whitby."
"Why Lady Whitby?"
"You must know she meant to cast Bella in your path. You weren't taken with her?"
"I found her charming and handsome." He wasn't smiling. "Should I have been taken with Bella Forster?"
I had gone too far. My face felt hot. "As you please, of course, Clanross. She would make an excellent countess, however."
"You said as much of Cecilia Wharton. I'd be pleased if you and Lady Whitby would allow me to know my own mind."
That was rather sharp. I found myself at point non plus, confused, and a little frightened.
Perhaps he sensed my confusion. He said quietly, "I read your article."
"You've seen it? I saved a copy for you."
"Thank you. It reads well. I followed it as far as my limited understanding of the art would take me. Why did you not sign your name?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"I thought you meant to take responsibility for it."
"I do." I was thrown off balance. "Most such articles are signed with the author's initials."
He said mildly, "In matters of opinion I daresay that makes sense, but you deal in fact."
"I believe you're disappointed that it won't be called Conway's Comet after all," I rejoined, half teazing, half uncertain.
"Perhaps I am."
We might have pursued the subject further but Featherstonehaugh came up looking important and Clanross went off with him. Before he disappeared, I extracted a promise from Clanross that he would call on us.
* * * *
I floated through the opening of Parliament without hearing a word. I was in alt, and the mood buoyed me through the next days.
I slept so wonderfully well that my excuses to the party for Mme. Tussaud's on Wednesday rang hollow. Anne regarded me with suspicion. When the girls and Miss Bluestone had gone off to change for the outing she rounded on me.
"What is this flummery about the headache? You look equal to anything this morning, including the Chamber of Horrors."
"Good God, Anne, merely I'm set for a comfortable gossip with Bella Forster and this morning was the first opportunity."
"Aha! I'd like a good coze with Bella myself. Was ever anything so odd? Bella and Willoughby, of all people." She retied her lace cap with a bow beneath one ear. "Well, I'll leave the two of you to your secrets, though I think it hard that I should be relegated to the waxworks."
I felt some guilt. "I'll look in on the nursery for you, if you like."
Anne brightened. "I wish you may. Cohn was fractious last night. He seems to be cutting yet another tooth. It can't be natural for a four-year-old to be perpetually erupting in teeth."
I promised to inspect the heir's gums. Anne is really a very good sort.
Bella awaited me in the withdrawing room when I came down from playing the aunt. She looked heavy-eyed, but revived quickly over a dish of bohea.
"My word, morning comes early." She yawned.
I laughed. "You and Willoughby are perfectly suited."
"We'll rub along very comfortably. What really brings you to London, Liz? Not Parliament. That won't wash."
I did not say Clanross. I was not yet ready for confidences. Instead, I entertained her with a description of the twins' forays to cloth warehouses and the Pantheon Bazaar, which she seemed to accept as sufficient excuse. She congratulated me prettily on my article and made no pretence of having read it.
The preliminaries over, she moved to the point. "Did you truly think I meant to wed Clanross?"
"Well, yes."
She leaned forward. "Why Clanross in particular?"
I said with some spirit, "You told me so, Bella."
"I couldn't have." Her creamy brow furrowed. "Do you mean at Cecilia's wedding? I must tell Willoughby."
Not without malice, I murmured, "He shared my assumption."
Bella's blue eyes narrowed. "Oho! I smell a plot."
I had the grace to flush. "Not really. Willoughby did suggest you'd be wasted on Clanross, and I may have ventured a remark to Willoughby that led him to think he should try his hand at cutting Clanross out."
Bella gave a little trill of laughter.
I pressed the point. "Did he cut Clanross out?"
Her smile was rueful. "My dear, Clanross escorted Mama and me to Dublin on the Holyhead packet. After that we never saw him more. He disappeared into the wilds of Meath."
I digested that.
Bella said frankly, "And if you fancy we had time to conduct a proper flirtation aboard ship you're dead wrong. It was vilely rough."
"Clanross was seasick?" I recalled his description of his last sea voyage and smiled.
"He may have been." Bella made a face. "I certainly was. My abigail was. Mama was. It was quite dreadful. I staggered up on deck to die after the first half hour, and between his lordship and the valet--what was the man's name?"
"Sims."
"Ah, Sims. Clanross and Sims contrived to hold my head. Clanross was kind, of course, but neither of us was feeling precisely romantical." An impish grin crossed her features. "He did congratulate me on being the first female of his acquaintance to outdo him at mal de mer."
I smiled, but shifted to the attack. "Why Willoughby?"
"He asked me." Bella looked demure.
I rose to the bait. "And so have several dozen others. Come, Bella, you needn't hide your teeth with me. Willoughby is my cousin. I find him amusing, but I know he's far from being a prime catch. He's in debt, for one thing."
"You're speaking of my affianced husband."
For a moment I thought I'd offended her. Flustered, I made matters worse. "Good God, Bella, you can't be in love with Willoughby."
"No," Bella said coolly, "nor he with me. I like his manners and his wit, and we move in the same circles. I think we'll deal very comfortably together."
"Why marry at all?" I blurted.
Bella was silent for a moment, then she sighed. "I've always admired your resolution, Elizabeth, but I'm a social creature."
"I've sometimes thought our society is arranged like Noah's ark, in pairs."
"I believe you do understand." Bella looked relieved.
"Your desire to wed, yes."
"But not my choice?" Her voice was light, but there was something of gravity in her manner.
I could think of no tactful reply.
Bella regarded me intently. "I thought of all women you would perceive that I can't bear to be possessed."
"Because I'm unwed at twenty-eight?"
She did not smile. "Because you're unwed by your own choice."
I said, with glum conviction, "It hasn't always been easy."
She continued, "I don't mean to possess Willoughby or be possessed by him. I'll do my duty by him, of course, and we'll go our separate ways. I'll act his hostess and make him comfortable and rich, and we'll laugh at each other's satires."
I saw, abruptly, that Bella was seeking my approval. The perception shook me. "I've always thought you altogether noble and self-sacrificing. I know you wed Forster for your family's sake."
"There were my sisters and Jack to think of. I worried about Jack. My elder brother, George, was just like Papa so there was nothing to be done with him. Jack was different."
Her voice sharpened with old resentment. "While George was indulging his taste for slow horses and fast women, Jack was struggling along as an ensign in one of the line regiments with no means of his own and no way to rise except by going off to pest holes like the West Indies." She bit her lip. "Jack deserved better than that. I thought if I married Mr. Forster he could buy Jack a company and settle enough on him so Jack could live as he ought."
I said nothing.
Her mouth went wry. "So Jack got his company and his income, and hared off to Spain and was killed within eighteen months of my marriage."
"Oh, Bella."
But she wasn't about to give in to her feelings. She shrugged. "There's irony for you. I like to think Jack had a choice at least. My sisters made comfortable marriages. Do you know that I have seven nieces and nephews?"
"So have I." I kept my voice light. "Pesky little nuisances they are, too."
Bella smiled. "Perhaps we're both fated to be aunts."
I gave an involuntary shudder. "I hope not."
Her eyes narrowed.
I covered my lapse hastily. "I've just been in Anne's nursery tending to Master Colin's gums."
She laughed. "I thought for a moment you were wishing for a nursery of your own."
I laughed, too. Hollowly. A nursery was purely incidental to my wishes.
Bella leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "You do wish for it."
I made a halfhearted noise of protest.
"Who is he? Clanross?"
"I have a regard for Lord Clanross." I spoke with stiff decorum but Bella is nothing if not sharp-witted.
She leaned back with a smile of the cat-in-the-cream-jar variety on her exquisite features. "I thought so. My word, how worried you've been."
There was no point in dissembling further. I was half relieved and half apprehensive. "I could cheerfully have fed you ratsbane at Briarlea."
Bella gave a merry laugh.
"Bella, if you breathe one word to Willoughby..." I was in dead earnest.
She knew it, but she was nevertheless mightily entertained. "If I do I'll certainly look for arsenic in the soup. My dear Elizabeth, I hope I'm discreet, but you'll allow that the situation is fraught with comedy."
I said grimly, "I do see what a ludicrous figure I cut, mooning about like...like one of my young sisters in the throes of calf love."
Bella looked surprised. "My dear, it would be a splendid match."
"Clanross may look anywhere for a bride."
"That's true, of course, and not merely because of the title."
I was betrayed by my need to share her approbation. I said eagerly, "Is he not remarkable? Do you not like him?"
She was amused but she said gently, "Yes, I do. I wish you would overcome your scruples, Elizabeth. I think you both very well suited."
I turned away. "Oh, if it came to that, my scruples would fly out the window. I'm as lovesick as any heroine of romance. What is lowering is that Clanross cannot return my feelings."
"Why not?"
Thrown into total confusion, I blushed scarlet. I was not about to reveal Bevis's part in my little domestic comedy. Hastily, and in some detail, I explained my nanny-like role in Clanross's convalescence.
Bella missed the point. "What could be more romantical?" she purred. "You saved his life. It's fated. He has to succumb."
"As in the more gothick scenes of our favorite Italian melodramas? Dear Bella."
She grinned. "It is rather thick."
"Clanross chafed at my ministrations. We quarrelled off and on until Willoughby and Cecilia came. Clanross has a confoundedly sharp tongue."
"I think that's very promising."
"Bella!"
She said in brisk, practical tones, "If you're already able to see the man's faults you'll soon recover from your worst symptoms. Even if your lovesickness persists, you'll go into marriage with your eyes wide open. Either way you can't be the loser."
"Marriage?" I fairly shouted. "He's indifferent to me."
Bella pursed her mouth. "Have you tried flirtation? Don't tell me it's against your principles."
"I--no." I shook my head, helpless. "It's too risky. My feelings are engaged, Bella. I value Clanross's friendship. If I lost that I'd have nothing."
"Do you know, I believe I envy you," Bella murmured. She rose abruptly. "I must be off, Liz. Mama requires me for a nuncheon at two."
I rose, too. I was not entirely reluctant to see her leave. I forced a smile. "I'm glad we'll be cousins, Bella, and I promise not to teaze Willoughby overmuch. He's a fortunate man."
She coloured. "I hope he'll think so a year from now. We are to wed after Christmas. Shall you come?"
"With great pleasure."
Bella took my hand, then kissed me impulsively on the cheek. "I shan't say anything, Elizabeth. I promise..."