| |
THE CHIME HAD SOUNDED twice before Radko had bothered to open the door to his quarters and admit Owens. He knew he looked like hell, and could see it in the Lieutenant Commander's eyes.
"I know I shouldn't have threatened ATC Castle," said Radko.
"Probably not," agreed Owens. "But I would have done the same thing. All of us would have."
"This is now two death sentences I've given her."
Owens looked up at him, brows raised.
"What?"
"Her cancer," said Radko, dropping heavily into a chair as Owens gently lowered himself into the one across the table. "We stayed in the Ishtar Gate too long. My orders. The radiation exposure made it worse, turned it from operable with something like ninety percent survival rate to inoperable with a four percent survival rate. And now this—convicted of treason for helping me."
"You couldn't have known she had that tumour, Commander."
"But I thought about it, Owens—I thought about it. While we were in there, I thought 'some of us are probably going to develop tumours from this' and I still kept us in."
"And keeping us in as long as you did is the main reason we were able to catch the ril-galas by surprise and break the blockade at Thor's Hammer."
Radko leaned forward and rubbed his face.
"I know. I know. The tactical side of my brain says she's just one person—on the balance sheet of the greater good, losing one person is a small price to pay. But she's not just one person, she's Anna Cortez."
"That she is," said Owens, sinking back into his own chair. "I feel like we saw her grow up."
"In a lot of ways, we did."
"Sorry, turns out I am terrible at pep talks."
"We all have our weaknesses," said Radko, chuckling. "But I appreciate you trying. I'll be okay, I just-"
"Have this insane desire to be heroic and go rescue her."
"Pretty much."
"You know that if you decided to do that, everyone on this ship with the possible exception of el Bahari would follow."
"Which is why I need to get my shit together. I can't let myself lead this crew against the very people we're trying to protect. Especially not for the sake of one life, no matter how important that life may be to me."
Sighing once more, Radko stood and smoothed out his uniform jacket.
"Assemble the crew in the mess hall. I want to speak with them face to face, not over intercom."
Under thirty minutes later, the whole crew—minus one member from each key station to keep the ship flying—was assembled in the mess hall. The first time Radko had done this, back when the ril-galas had first appeared, they had been able to accommodate everyone there because of how short-handed the crew had been. Now, short-handed was the new normal for Commonwealth vessels and everyone had become accustomed to it.
As Radko stepped up to the podium, he briefly locked eyes with el Bahari, who seemed far more subdued than usual. She was an excellent officer and Radko hoped she'd come to understand that he wasn't trying to grandstand with this mission, that he wasn't trying to wrest control from anyone. Just that he knew they needed to make progress.
"I'm not going to have a big preamble for you today," he said, his voice amplified through the mess hall. "I know rumour travels quickly round a ship of this size and I wanted you to hear the truth directly from me."
He paused for a moment as he considered his words.
"Anna Cortez, whom most of you know, has been convicted of treason and will be executed within twenty-four hours."
The crew erupted in roars of indignation and Radko had to hold up his hand to silence them.
Once the noise had quieted, a voice from the back yelled out that the charges were bullshit and Radko nodded.
"Of course they're bullshit. We all know that. So do the people who charged and convicted her. They're petty, terrified little people who are beneath every single person on this ship. They're beneath every icaran aboard the Venn Shakara. They're beneath the pirates of the Azrael's Tear," said Radko, his upper lip curling in disgust. "They are fucking cowards."
He looked down and saw el Bahari glancing around uncomfortably at the crew, who were also voicing their outrage. It was clear she had no idea what he was doing and probably feared he was about to advocate civil war.
Instead, he held up his hands once more for silence.
"But they're not who we serve," he said firmly. "We don't fight for a head of state. We don't fight for a government or a flag. We have to be above that. We are above that. We fight for humanity and we fight for the icaran people and we fight for everyone who can't fight for themselves. And what we do, we do because it gives us our best chance of helping all of them, and though I would love nothing more than to have Anna Cortez right here, right now, we have to be... I have to be... above revenge. I have to put the needs of humanity above my own, even though it will cost me the life of a dear friend."
Voice cracking slightly, Radko paused and cleared his throat.
"Just like the decision to liberate Thor's Hammer rather than try for Earth did," he said softly. "And I seem to be running out of friends."
Harlan Grey was dead.
Locaris was dead.
Anna would be dead within hours.
And Sigurdsson... he felt his gut tighten even more. There had been no reports on Sigurdsson since Singh's crew reported the dropship being shot down over the Shattered World.
Freyja could be dead, too.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"I need my friends," he said, spreading his arms wide. "But I can't put their lives ahead of all of humanity, no matter what impulse in my brain is telling me to get on my white horse and ride in to the rescue. I have to be above that and it makes me angry and frustrated that I have to be above that, but it doesn't make it any less true. The future of the human race outweighs the lives of any one of us—myself included."
Gripping the side of the podium, Radko met as many gazes as he could while he collected himself.
"We can mourn our friends once we've driven the ril-galas from our home. But now, we have a job to do."
––––––––
"YOU DON'T THINK MUCH of Prime Minister DeFreitas," said el Bahari.
After the meeting, Radko had immediately returned to the upper command deck. El Bahari had joined him, both staring out past the Venn Shakara, into the black.
"He hasn't given me reason to."
"He's the Prime Minister. He should be given the respect-"
"Given the respect? Respect is earned, Commander, not given out like Halloween candy to any idiot who rings the doorbell," said Radko. "He's spineless. He cares more about politics than governance. He's so fixated on staying safe that he's losing sight of what a Prime Minister is supposed to be. And he can't even take a shit without Bianca fucking Upshaw giving him the okay and instructions on how to wipe."
She simply stared at him for a moment, mouth agape.
"Don't pretend I'm wrong," he said.
"I... don't have the access to the Prime Minister's inner circle that you do," she said carefully. "So I couldn't hazard an opinion."
"His inner circle is just Upshaw now. He doesn't even listen to Mahoney anymore—the guy who runs the goddamned Navy."
"So we simply ignore the chain of command? Ignore that the Commonwealth Navy is ultimately answerable to the Prime Minister?"
"Once this mission is over, I am fully prepared to be answerable to the Prime Minister, and even to the woman pulling his strings. After the mission, not before."
"Because you know they would never approve it," she said, nodding.
"Exactly. And we would spend another year and a half talking and talking and talking and letting the ril-galas further entrench themselves on Earth," said Radko.
"And you don't care if it costs you your career?"
"My career? They just convicted Cortez of treason just for helping plan this. Commander, even if I survive this mission, I'm not convinced I'll survive the fallout."
El Bahari just stared at him.
"I meant what I said: I have to be above all the bullshit. I'm not worried about personal consequences, I'm worried that if I don't take this opportunity, there won't be another."
"You think we'd just sit on our hands without you leading the charge?" she snapped. "More than a bit egotistical."
Radko smiled slightly.
"Tell me, el Bahari—what has anyone done in the last year and a half that makes you feel like the current do-nothing state of affairs will be coming to an end?"
As he expected, she didn't have an answer for that.
"This has nothing to do with my ego. I would love nothing more than to have what currently passes as Commonwealth leadership actually leading us, but how long should we wait for that to happen? Another year? Two? Ten? Do you think the Earth will last that long?"
"You're the one who prioritized Thor's Hammer over Earth."
It was a weak argument and her voice betrayed that she knew it.
"I did, and a lot of people on Earth have died because of that decision. Which I will have to live with for however long I have left," he said. "But my decision was based on adding war assets to enable us to take back Earth, not to create a little bubble around the station and go into fortress mode until this whole thing blows over."
Staring out at the Venn Shakara for several moments, el Bahari took a slow, deep breath and exhaled just as slowly. It was a technique Radko knew well from his therapy sessions, a way to steady the mind, to clear away the emotions that were about to get you in trouble. He almost smiled, seeing el Bahari do it. Not because it showed a weakness, but because it showed her awareness of and focus on dealing with a weakness.
That kind of self-awareness was missing in a lot of people.
"Commander," she said, finally turning back to him. "I want to be clear here. I agree with... certain parts of what you're trying to do. Clearly I agree we need to liberate Earth; that we need to drive them out not just for the people of the Commonwealth, but for the future of humanity as a whole."
Frowning momentarily, she glanced back to the icaran warship.
"I am even willing to concede that alliances that would, in better times, have been inadvisable at best may now be necessary."
"However...?"
"However. Your methods are beyond questionable. You have no regard for the chain of command or the oath you swore to the Commonwealth as a naval officer. You are reckless. You are answerable to no one but yourself and have surrounded yourself with people who wouldn't even think to question your actions, motives or methods."
Crossing his arms, Radko leaned back against the observation dome. When he smiled at his XO, he could tell by the twitch of her jaw muscle it wasn't the reaction for which she'd prepared herself.
"I only disagree with two of those points," he said. "First, I take my oath very seriously—more seriously than many others, it seems. I swore to protect the Commonwealth and all of its citizens, which is not a promise I can keep with the Vimy Ridge parked at Thor's Hammer and my ass parked in a conference room chair. Second, I do have someone to question me. I have you. You're very good at it and I expect you to continue doing so."
He didn't think it possible, but her frown deepened.
"I'm not a tyrant. Do I think I'm right? I wouldn't be doing this," he said, nodding his head toward the icaran vessel. "If I didn't. But I'm also not an idiot—I know the dangers of making decisions in an echo chamber."
"I think you're dangerous."
"So do the ril-galas."