THE HALL WAS DARK, STILL, AND COLD. I LEFT ZASHA, THOR, AND MY BOOTS IN OUR ROOM AND TIPTOED INTO THE UTILITY ROOM NEXT DOOR. I RISKED TURNING ON THE LIGHT because it would be impossible to dig the tools out quietly if I didn’t. Wrapping my knife and the tools in Petr’s dishcloth before I left served three purposes: It stopped the metal from clanging together, it hid them if someone found me before the transfer, and it was also my excuse for being in the hall at that hour; I’d claim I was there to clean up the mess one of the dogs had made.
My nerves were steady as I reached Josef’s door and lay down on the cold, hard floor. Positioning my mouth as close to the crack under the door as possible, I whispered, “Josef. Josef.” There was no reply. No sound came from the room, either, no snoring, no rustle of movement.
“Josef,” I said a little louder. Still, no answer. I lay quietly for thirty seconds, listening for any sound, inside the room or out. With my right hand I knocked as gently as I could, using the knock Petr had taught me that means I need to talk to you. There was no answer. Suddenly, I was fearful that he’d been transferred somewhere else. Then I heard a little moan, the kind people make in their sleep when they roll over.
“Josef! Josef!” I said again, louder this time, and then tapped rapidly on his door, using the partisan knock at least three times. Now there was movement inside; I knew he’d heard me. “Josef. Josef, it’s me, Ivan.”
There were more sounds from inside; I could tell Josef was getting into position to speak to me. “Ivan! What are you doing here?” His lips couldn’t have been more than six inches away from mine, although separated by an impenetrable boundary. I could hear him easily.
“Petr sent me. Josef — are you all right?”
“I’ve been better.” If we hadn’t been in such a serious situation, I would have laughed at his bravado.
“What happened? Why did you go back to the house?”
“I’d already started copying Axel’s letter. I hid it in an envelope glued to the bottom of the table, but I couldn’t be sure they wouldn’t find it.” I felt terrible when I heard this. He’d gone back so I wouldn’t be in danger. “You know how they are, Ivan. They don’t forgive, they don’t forget.”
“Oh, Josef. Thank you. Did you … were you able to …”
“Don’t worry. It may give me indigestion for a while, but it’s gone. They found me just as I was finishing my last delicious bite.”
I was momentarily stunned as I realized what he was saying. I said thank you again, but I don’t think the words could express how relieved I was.
“Now, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?” Josef asked.
“We’re going to get you out of here. Listen carefully. I’m going to slip three items under the door. Move your face away now. They’re sharp.”
“Okay.” The knife went in first, and barely made it through the space between the floor and the bottom of the door, although it looked almost an inch high. The blade was next, and then the flat piece of metal.
“Did you get them all?”
“Yes! Yes! What do I do now?” It was only at that moment that I had the horrible realization that I hadn’t actually seen a closet in this room. It was merely my guess based on how apartments are laid out as mirror reflections of one another.
“Do you …” I could barely breathe. “Do you have a closet in your room?”
“Yes.”
“As you face the back of the room, what side is it on?”
“The right.”
My relief was enormous. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“This is what I want you to do. With these three tools you can dig a hole in the closet big enough to crawl into the room next door. You’ll come out in a closet just like yours.”
“All right.”
“Tonight is Tuesday night. You’ve got to have it done by Friday night. Do you think you can do that?”
“I will do that.”
“At ten P.M. I’ll be there waiting for you. There’s a janitor’s uniform that you can change into. You and I will walk out of the building with two dogs on leads. I know the guard at the exit I use to take the puppies on their walks. It’ll probably be easier for you to sneak out with me and the dogs.” The cold floor was starting to make my stomach ache. My lips kept brushing against the ragged edge of the door, and saliva collected in the corner of my mouth. “Yeshka will be waiting in an alley a block and a half away with warm clothes. You and Yeshka will then take separate routes to Petr’s. Do you understand?”
“Every bit. Words have never sounded so sweet! What about you?”
“Polina will be waiting for me and the dogs. Don’t worry about that. Just get the hole dug.”
“I’m going to start right now.”
“Josef — wait! Do they come to your room at specific times?”
“I don’t know yet. I haven’t been here long enough.”
I gasped, thinking I heard a sound coming from the kitchen. “I have to go. Be there at ten o’clock three days from now.”
I got up slowly, quietly, and walked on my tiptoes, my limbs stiff from lying in such an odd position on the cold floor. As I reached out to open the door to my room, someone called, “Ivan!”
“Ah!” I cried, an involuntary expression of fear. I turned around toward the cafeteria. A dim light was now on somewhere farther back in the kitchen. Fritzi stood there staring at me, a glass in his hand. He must have gotten up for a midnight snack. Even from a distance I thought I could see a look of curiosity on his face.
I held up the dish towel and said, “Thor made a mess. Don’t worry. I cleaned it up. Hope I didn’t disturb you.” Not waiting for a reply, I went into my room, shaking.
Had he seen me on the ground? Would he believe my story about being there at that hour? Throwing my arms around Zasha and Thor, who had gotten up to meet me, I made soft crying sounds, though no tears came; they came from fear, relief, and fatigue. I stacked two chairs in front of the door so that if Axel came in again unexpectedly in the morning, I could get the dogs out of my bed before he saw they were there. Then the dogs and I snuggled together under a blanket.
How would we ever make this plan work? When I first heard Petr’s idea I was ecstatic. It sounded so simple, elegant even. Now it seemed like there were so many things that could go wrong. I went through the details once more in my mind, step by step. Josef and I and the dogs would leave through the basement door. Pretending to go on a walk, we would head down Kirov Avenue for one block, turn right, and turn right again at the alley. Josef would get some warm clothes from Yeshka and leave with him. Polina and I would secure the dogs in the crates and sacks on two of her sleds, then rush to Petr’s. Auntie, Vladimir, and Petr would be waiting with the sleigh to go to Kobona. We’d rest there for a night or two if it was safe enough, and then go on to Uncle Boris’s.
Every nerve in me was on high alert, and yet just yards from me, Josef was already hard at work digging his way to freedom. It was a good plan, I told myself, a good plan. I fell asleep counting all the things that could go wrong, one after the other, like so many sheep. They seemed endless, and they haunted my dreams.