Isabel walked through the dimly lit church foyer in Valley Oaks. It was Sunday evening, and she had arrived early for her Bible study with the high school girls. The place was empty except for a few other groups scattered about the building. Adult groups were meeting in homes.
She felt as if she floated. At the river that afternoon, the ache had eventually melted away, leaving in its wake an indescribable quiet. She was forgiven. She was loved. Nothing else mattered.
“Isabel!”
She turned and saw Gina approaching. “Gina! Didn’t you get my message about Tony being here?”
“Yes.”
“And you still came?” They hugged each other tightly.
“Isabel, Tony was only the messenger.” She smiled that dazzling smile of hers. Casually dressed in blue jeans and a white cotton sweater with her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, she was incredibly attractive. The girls were going to love personally meeting Brady Olafsson’s fiancée.
Fiancée? Isabel grasped her left hand and looked at it. The diamond caught the dim light. She breathed a loud sigh of relief. “Are you okay?”
“Well, I know he’s not a stalker, but I keep waiting for him to get possessive with me. I mean, I don’t expect him to, because he never has. Yet…” She shrugged. “It’s a trust issue. I need some time to process things.”
Isabel gave her another hug. “In the meantime, I imagine you’ve got him wrapped around your little finger.”
Gina laughed. “If I truly wanted the moon, I think he’d get it for me!”
Tony followed Isabel’s directions and went down the steps to the church basement. The musical sound of feminine giggles led him from there.
He went to a set of open double doors at the end of a hallway. Inside a large room lit by lamps, about a dozen teenage girls sprawled on couches, chairs, and the carpet, Izzy and Gina among them. Bookshelves and posters lined the walls. The scent of chocolate drifted into the hall.
Izzy waved and came over to him, her petite figure making her appear as youthful as the girls. “Hi.”
“Hi. Looks like a fun group.”
“Come on in.”
He caught Gina’s eye as she made her way over to them. “Mind if I talk to Gina first out here?”
She winked at him and went back into the room.
“Gina.”
“Hi, Tony.”
“I’m sorry.” He decided against using his line that he was just doing his job. It wasn’t exactly the truth in this case. “I don’t know what else to say.”
She studied his face for a moment. “That about covers it. On Tuesday, it would not have covered it, but tonight…I forgive you.”
“Thank you. Are you—” He stopped from asking if they were going to make it. That was brazenly personal; his trademark, yes, but not for tonight. “I hope everything works out for you.”
“Thank you.” She paused. “Um…if I were you, I’d be very careful. You know Brady is into breaking noses.”
“I’m on my way back to Chicago this very moment.”
“Maybe you’d better stay there a while.” Her face lit up then in what Brady called her “Miss America” smile.
He shook her proffered hand. One classy lady.
“Coming in?” she asked as Izzy joined them.
“I don’t know—”
Izzy grabbed his arm. “Yes, you’re coming in. But the conversations do not leave this room.” She closed in on him, her nose nearly touching his. “Got that, Mr. Big Shot Reporter?”
“Got it.”
He found an armchair outside the loop of girls, near the door. As usual, his natural curiosity quelled any discomfort. Well, that plus Izzy and Gina and their… Their what? Acceptance? He might as well admit it. Their words and behavior encompassed much more than acceptance. Such a vague, generic term. It was forgiveness, nothing less.
He listened attentively. The girls, still munching brownies, quieted down. Someone said a short prayer. Izzy introduced him as Mr. Big Shot Reporter “who is not taking notes!”
He held out his empty hands.
“Ladies, pretend he’s not here.”
Gina spoke next. She was there as a guest to talk about her career as a veterinarian.
Tony marveled at the dynamics. There was nothing like a roomful of females. The topic digressed, as he knew it would. It went from Gina’s love of animals and early start as a wildlife park employee to what it was like living in California to how she met Brady Olafsson.
“Oh, he was such a pain in the neck. He thought I was a California snob. And I was.” She laughed with the girls. “And I thought he was an arrogant, goofy—he kept telling me these ridiculous jokes—guy from a town I couldn’t find on most maps. Now here I am, living in that town, engaged to him.”
The discussion flowed freely, the girls eager for more details about the elusive author. Tony missed how the group segued into premarital relations, but there it was. Captivated, he wished he could meld into the upholstery and remain unnoticed. But nobody glanced back at him. Izzy didn’t look over. It seemed they’d forgotten he was there. Or didn’t care. He stayed put.
Izzy interrupted when Gina turned pink. “Girls, this is getting a little personal for a stranger to the group.”
Gina replied, “I don’t mind. Really. I want to say this for your benefit. Brady and I are waiting. I know that sounds wild in this day and age, but we believe it’s for our best that God wants us to. It’s not something we’re going to regret. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’ve suggested on more than one occasion that we run over to the courthouse, get that marriage license, and grab Pastor Peter. Other times—” She fanned herself and laughed. “Whew. Maybe this is getting a bit too personal.”
The girls laughed.
“No.” Gina held up a hand. “It’s good that you hear this. We’ll be holding hands or kissing—yes, we do kiss—and literally jump apart. One of us says, ‘I can’t handle this right now.’ We go to opposite ends of the room. We play Scrabble. We go for a walk. We hang out a lot with other people.”
Tony wouldn’t have believed it coming from someone else. But he had seen these two people up close. They were strong enough and Brady was zany enough to behave in such an unnatural manner.
Izzy had the floor now. “Girls, I want to talk about the other side of the coin. What happens when you don’t wait?”
It was what they had talked about the night she cried so hard, full of guilt for their past relationship. Curious how calm she was now, her voice low and even, her eye contact taking in every face turned her way. Except for his.
“As we always remind each other, our times here are private. They are not a source for gossip. If, however, you need to share my story with someone, maybe a boyfriend, you have my permission. Okay?”
There were nods around the room.
“I was in college, mixed up, and yet so in love with life. I knew I could do it my own way. I thought I had met my future husband. We didn’t wait…and I got pregnant.”
The group drew in a collective breath. Tony mouthed a silent, “Whoa.” This was news to him. He wondered when it happened. Before they met or later?
“It ended in a miscarriage when I was about three months along. The whole scene disrupted my life. I never went back to school. That guy is not my husband today.” She paused, again making eye contact with the girls one by one. “I lost a baby, I never got a college degree, and I cheated any man I might marry.” Her tone grew passionate. “Ladies, I cheated on Jesus, too. I disobeyed Him. There’s this chunk of guilt that still weighs on me because nothing can take away the fact of what I did. I know He has forgiven me, but in all these years I haven’t yet been able to let it go completely. I am still learning what that means. It doesn’t go away overnight. When I was your age, this was not the journey I planned on taking.”
For a few moments, there was complete silence. Then one of the girls raised her hand. “Can I talk about what I did?” she whispered.
Tony slipped through the door. Now it was getting too personal. He didn’t want to be there when they remembered he was listening.
Well, that explained why Izzy was hiding out in Valley Oaks. It probably also explained why such a good-looking chick had no suitors. Poor kid, never graduating. And dragging around all that guilt about boyfriends and getting pregnant wasn’t healthy. He wondered again: What good is faith?
As the girls filtered out the door, Isabel struggled with a barrage of emotions. She had just publicly, diligently pointed out in minute detail her ugly past, the things she hadn’t shared with her closest friends in Valley Oaks.
She felt exhilarated and drained. She felt exposed and yet wrapped in the mantle of God’s love like never before. And now she felt doubtful. Had it been a wise choice?
Although her times with the girls were pretty free-floating, their discussions revolved around a Bible study booklet. The personal experiences Isabel shared usually concerned life in the present. She had never plunged to such depths of her past. She had never planned to do so. These girls were so impressionable. Would it be further gossip for the Valley Oak’s gristmill? Would it be condoning harmful youthful behavior because in the end God made it all right? In spite of her honesty, they could have no clue as to the price she paid. Teens were incapable of comprehending future consequences.
Tonight had not been on the agenda. How they went from Gina’s experience as a veterinarian to Isabel’s college years, she had no idea.
A few of the girls displayed no reaction…a few gave her extra-tight hugs…a few avoided eye contact…and Tony disappeared at some point along the way. What had he thought?
While sharing her story, she had forgotten he was there. It was as if time and space faded from view as she focused on those precious young faces. She was aware only of her passionate longing for them to understand her stumbling, so that they might not do the same.
Gina turned to her now as the last girl left, her face beaming. “Oh, Isabel! I had no idea!”
“That I was pregnant? I hadn’t told—”
“No! No! I had no idea that women could connect like that. That we could talk so freely about real life and mistakes and forgiveness. That we could—Oh, I don’t know! It was as if we walked alongside those girls on their journey and said, ‘I’ve been here; learn from my experience.’ Isabel, we really could have made a big difference in one of their lives! But it wasn’t us. Jesus was so palpable I could have touched Him. I think I heard Him breathing beside me!”
Isabel stared at her. She had forgotten how young Gina’s faith was. Tonight had been a wild ride even for Isabel, and for her such sweet times of sharing were a commonplace occurrence. No wonder a new believer like Gina was ecstatic. A nonbeliever would have been skeptical and—Walked out the door. Like Tony. Why did she even imagine he would have waited around?
Gina gave Isabel a fierce hug, laughter and words still bubbling forth. “I can’t wait to tell Brady! He’ll be asleep already, but I’ve got to wake him up. This won’t keep. Do you need help here?”
“No, you go ahead, Gina. Thank you so much for coming. You sparked it all.”
“I did?”
“Are you kidding? You and Brady are like this ultimate romantic couple.” She grinned. “The girls didn’t want to hear from a single, ‘hasn’t had a good date in ages’ girl like me!”
Gina hugged her again. “Thank you! Okay, bye!” She hurried through the doorway.
Isabel glanced around the room. Just a couple of napkins to throw away. A cup. An empty brownie pan to take home.
“Isabel!” Gina’s voice carried into the room a beat before she appeared, breathless and red-faced. “Do you know what I just realized?”
“What?”
“You didn’t go around telling the world your story until it was time when someone could benefit from it, like these girls tonight. That fact doesn’t make you any less trustworthy of a person. Does that make sense?”
Isabel tilted her head, unsure.
“It’s like Brady. He couldn’t or didn’t want to tell his story until now. For whatever reason. And that’s all right. And it should be all right with me even though I thought he should have told me. Yes?”
Brady had his reasons, Isabel had her reasons, God had His reasons. Her throat tightened. Lips pressed together, she smiled and gave her friend a thumbs-up sign.
Gina gave one back, grinned, and rushed off.
Isabel sank onto a couch and wept.