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Very early the next morning, before dark gave way to dawn, I stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air and listen to the sea. Even though I had bathed the day before, the thoughts of Tim Lan’s deceit still haunted me, and I had barely slept. I needed the solace that the constant song of the ocean gave, so I walked away from the house to hear the sea better. Unlike the pleasant weather the day before, the ground was wet from evening rain, and the clouds spit out a misty shower. I pulled the hood to my sweatshirt over my head, thinking maybe I’d go back inside and wait for a drier moment. That’s when headlights near the old torn up parking lot shone on me. I froze, the beams glared into my eyes. The rain came down harder and so heavy I couldn’t hear the motor, yet I knew the car was still running. The headlamps dimmed, a car door slammed, and though I couldn’t make out who got out of the car because of the light shining in my eyes, I could tell it was a woman. My heart jumped when I heard her voice.
“Dylan!”
Holy cow, that was Liona! At 5:30 in the morning? I didn’t move because with those lights in my eyes I couldn’t see anything, but I didn’t have to see to tell it was her. She came running my way, tripping over rocks and cement blocks and debris that cluttered the path to where I stood. “Liona?”
“Dylan, I’m so glad you’re up. I need your help.”
“At five thirty-six in the morning.”
“I should have been here earlier.”
“Why?” I couldn’t imagine why she would need me, nor need me so early in the morning. Still, her needing me at all made me happy.
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
She stumbled into me and grabbed my coat to catch her balance. I held her steady. “What happened? Are you in trouble?”
“I will be if I don’t get home soon. Mrs. Wright is in the ER. She had a stroke, I think.”
The clouds opened on us with a downpour right then, and we were both soaked within seconds. Liona had no rain coat or anything, so I tried to pull her toward the house, but she resisted. “Let’s talk inside,” I urged.
“I can’t. Not now. Let’s talk in the car. Come to the house with me and help me. I’m the only one to take care of the tenants and I can’t possibly manage all there is to do by myself.”
I’m not good at making quick decisions, so I stood there like an idiot, dumbfounded. She kept tugging at me.
“I have to cook breakfast, get Mrs. Benson up, help them all take their meds, feed them. Please Dylan. I need your help.”
“Wait. Let me think a minute.” I had planned on going to Elwood Estates anyway this weekend. Tim Lan was gone into town, and there wasn’t anything holding me back from seeing Liona, except for the promise I had made Tim Lan. “I’m the only one here and Tim Lan wanted me to watch the place.”
“Oh, good god, Dylan, is that more important to you?”
I wasn’t sure. My word was important. But so was helping Liona, especially since this was an emergency. I had little time to process the options. “No, but don’t want to have anything happen to Tim Lan’s things. I made him a promise. How can I leave with no one here?”
She took a deep breath and turned to Tim Lan’s shanty. “What is your commitment? Just to watch the house? Make sure no one breaks in?”
“Yes.”
“Then let me take care of that.” She stepped away from me and held her hands in front of her, tapping her fingers together quicker and quicker until they rattled against each other so rapidly that her fingers glowed. “Sinju,” she said, her voice hissed like a snake. Then, with a sweeping stroke of both of her hands she sent a great lightning bolt which reached well over Tim Lan’s shack. Light from the flash reflected for a split second and then an invisible dome floated gracefully over his house, which I only saw because of the reflections. “There.”
I gawked. “You have that kind of magic? I mean besides reading minds?”
“A little. Will you help me now?”
I had no excuses anymore, and frankly I didn’t want to make one up. “Okay.” In a flash, her excitement became mine. I ran to the car with her and jumped in the passenger seat. Out of breath I looked at her anxiously. “If you have that much magic, why can’t you just use it on everyone at the boarding house?”
“Because that’s not the way I work.” She glanced at me with a smug smile on her face. “Besides, if I did that I wouldn’t need you. And I want to need you.”
“You do?”
She didn’t answer, and the confidence I had seen in her before was not there. “Yes,” she whispered. “I missed you.”
That made my heart sing. “Okay. So, what’s next?”
“Fasten your seatbelt.”
She said it in such a way I thought we’d be taking off like a rocket ship, so I quickly snapped the seatbelt and leaned back against the seat. Rain splattered on the windshield, but it was cozy in the car, just her and I. I hadn’t known Liona to be weak or emotionally upset about much except the day when Randy hadn’t taken his medicine. Today, as she was backing up the Dodge station wagon, I saw tears in her eyes, and her hands shook.
“How is she? Is Mrs. Wright going to be okay?” I asked, hoping this wasn’t going to be another scene like Uncle Jim, where the boarding mom doesn’t come back and then the house gets sold, and the tenants are pawned off to someplace else, like I had been.
“I don’t know, Dylan. She fell over this morning while I was in the kitchen. I found her lying on the floor in the living room mumbling words I couldn’t understand. I helped her sit up, but she wouldn’t come out of it. The ambulance came and took her away. That’s all I know. I took a big chance driving here. Everyone was still asleep at the house when I left. We need to hurry and get back before they start waking up. Thanks for coming. I was freaking out. I can’t do this alone. I just can’t.”
“It’s okay, Liona. I’ll help you. You don’t have to get upset. I’ll help.” If panic was catching, I caught hers. My chest started hurting and my stomach felt oozy. Sweat formed on my brow. “Are you sweating too?” I asked.
She nodded but waited until we came to a stop sign to glance my way. “Dylan, I know when depression comes on. I know when I’m about to feel suicidal. I’ve had enough counseling to recognize the signs.”
I hadn’t ever seen this Liona before. Pale, frightened, unsure of herself, and now talking about her symptoms like they were happening right now.
“I don’t want to die. Not by doing something stupid.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.” That didn’t come out quite the way I meant it to.
“Believe me if I can prevent myself from acting rashly I will. Mrs. Wright had left Mrs. Benson’s sleeping pills on the kitchen table. I had them in my hand, Dylan. This morning. As soon as the ambulance left. I was just going to end it all. I didn’t think I could handle the responsibility. Too much stress. I thought about popping the whole friggin’ bottle of pills.”
My mouth hung open, and drool slipped out, so I wiped my lips with my sleeve. I barely understood what she said but I knew it was scary. “I don’t get it. You wanted to take Mrs. Benson’s drugs?”
“Not just drugs, Dylan. I was thinking about killing myself. If you take too many sleeping pills you can die. I was ready to chug the whole bunch of them.”
“No! Don’t! Liona you can’t die.” What could I say to her? The thought was terrifying. “Like Uncle Jim died? You can’t die, Liona. No!” I twisted in my seat, loosening the seat belt to face her. “Please don’t do anything like that!”
“Well I don’t want to.”
“I’m stopping you. Right now. I won’t let you.”
She shot me a quick smile, as if I had anything to say about what she does with her life. “Fasten your seatbelt back up.”
I clicked it back in place and faced forward. “Too many people need you.” That didn’t sound right even though it was true. It sounded selfish, but I don’t think I was being selfish. I hated the thought of something like that happening to beautiful Liona. “Everyone at Mrs. Wright’s needs you.”
The car started rolling again. She made a noise with her tongue when she sighed and glimpsed out the window. “Right.”
“I mean, I need you.”
She was quiet for a moment as she drove. “You do?” It was a meek response, and sent a tickle through me, as if she was happy to hear that I needed her. I nodded so hard my neck kinked for a second and then I remembered she was watching the road, so she didn’t see me nod. “Not like a sick kind of need either. More like just needing to be around you. Because I like you. Not because I want you to do anything for me. I don’t. I just want to be near you. Maybe for a long time. Maybe for life.” I surprised myself saying that. It came from deep inside.
“Really? For life?” She wiped her nose. “Then why are you staying with Tim Lan?”
I thought about it for a minute, how to tell her. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “It’s quiet. I need quiet, Liona. Otherwise I get, I don’t know, depressed. Like you.”
“Oh.”
“There are lots of people at the boarding home. Some not so nice. Social workers come around, too. You saw what they did to Randy.”
“Yeah, I saw.”
“Besides, I’m on my own with Tim Lan. I pay rent. I pay my own rent.”
She looked at me with wide eyes. “With the pearls?”
“That’s right. I can support myself now.”
“Using magic?”
I nodded, glad that she could understand. “He sells them and lets me stay at his house.”
“Oh.” She didn’t seem too impressed that I earned my own keep.
“That’s not all.” I started, and then recanted.
“What else?”
“I don’t know.” The time didn’t seem right to talk about every reason I needed to stay on the beach with Tim Lan. Maybe the time to talk would never come. I’d have trouble telling her all my fears. Like how afraid I am that my mother would come for me at the boarding house and embarrass me or convince Mrs. Wright to release me to her. Or that I didn’t like crowds and people and having to mind rules that took me a long time to understand.
“I see,” she said, letting me know she read my mind.
“Well, and what will happen now? I mean with Mrs. Wright being gone?”
“I don’t know. The social workers might send another caretaker. I don’t expect the responsibility of taking care of everyone will be on my shoulders for very long. But I think you may be right. This may not be the best time for you to come back.”
“No, not for good. But today I’ll come back and help you.”
We sped on to the boarding house after that and didn’t say anything more. After she parked the car, she slammed the door and ran up the stairs to the house, me at her heels. Our haste was unnecessary though, as the lights were out, and no one was awake.
“Start making breakfast,” she whispered to me, and took my hand. “But please don’t use magic.”
“Why not?”
“Just don’t.”
She raced down the hall to check on the tenants.
The thought of using magic hadn’t even occurred to me so I wasn’t sure why she said that. I washed my hands and found the apron. The kitchen wasn’t in order. Liona must have been cooking when Mrs. Wright fell over with a stroke, because potatoes were in the sink, and one was half sliced on the cutting board. A towel had been thrown on the counter and a cup of coffee spilled. I cleaned the mess up first and then got to work. Soon the fresh aroma of food cooking started filling up the house. I heard people moving, a wheel chair rolling. Mr. Gravestone hacked like he usually does in the morning when he gets up. A toilet flushed. I peeked out the door and saw that Liona had moved Mrs. Benson into the dining room. Mr. Bromheimer peeked into the kitchen at me.
“Welcome back, Dylan.”
I hesitated to greet him because by all rights I wasn’t back. Not for good. I was just helping Liona, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. “Good morning, Mr. Bromheimer,” I said. He smiled wide, that bright handsome old man smile that is always on him. I had forgotten how cheerful he was and how he can make my own day brighten. He sat down at the table. I served the food, placing a serving of potatoes and eggs on everyone’s dish. After returning the skillet to the kitchen, I took my seat where I used to, across from Mr. Gravestone, and next to an empty chair where Randy used to sit. I paused for a moment, looking at the table where his food should have gone.
“I hear Randy is doing well at Forest Ridge nursing home, Dylan. I think he likes living there. He can have visitors.” Liona suggested. “You could go see him.”
I glanced up at her. “Maybe sometime. I would like that.” She winked at me and smiled. I had never thought about visiting Randy.
“Where is Mrs. Wright?” Mr. Gravestone asked. His question bolted through the silence. “That’s what’s more important, now.”
“Shopping most likely, Mr. Gravestone,” Mr. Bromheimer offered and then he turned to me. “Your cooking just gets better and better, Dylan,” he said.
“Mrs. Wright is in the hospital,” Liona said matter-of-factly keeping all uncertainty out of her voice.
Mr. Gravestone huffed. “Probably Dylan’s cooking is what made her sick.”
I set my fork down. It’d been a little while since I took an insult from the old man.
“Nonsense,” Liona defended me. “She went to the hospital this morning and then I drove over to Dylan’s to ask for his help. He’s been very kind offering his services this morning.”
“Thank you, Dylan,” Mr. Bromheimer smiled at me.
“Besides, you’ve always loved his cooking, Mr. Gravestone.”
Mr. Gravestone grunted but he kept eating until every bite on his plate was gone. Liona glanced up at me, and then gave Mrs. Benson another bite of food.
“Are you going to be staying with us?” Mr. Bromheimer asked.
I flushed. I mean my head grew way hot right then with the look Liona gave me. I don’t know why. She probably read my thoughts. She always does. She knows I don’t mean to stay. “I’m just here for the weekend.”
She then wiped Mrs. Benson’s face with a napkin, pushed the plate out of the woman’s way, and took off to the kitchen. I followed her with my eyes, thinking she was mad, or hurt, or something. Things started slamming in there.
“Excuse me,” I said to the others. The men could feed themselves, so I assumed I could leave them.
Liona had the water running into the sink full blast, soap suds building up.
“Liona,” I began. She didn’t respond, so I kept talking. I hated seeing her like this. I hated when people got mad, especially when they were mad at me. She threw silverware into the water, shut the faucet off forcefully, and began scrubbing the skillet. “Liona, I can’t stay here. We talked about this in the car on the way here!”
She didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at me.
“I have to go back. I want you to come with me.”
“Where? Tim Lan’s shanty?”
“No. I think I can build us a place.”
She rolled her eyes and spun around. “Dylan, you can’t just go building a shack on the beach like Tim Lan did. You can’t just build a house anywhere you want and then move into it. There are laws. Building codes. Property rights.”
“How does Tim Lan do it?”
“Luck maybe, I don’t know. Maybe he owns that part of the beach. If not, he’s fortunate he’s gotten away with it for so long. But the time will come he’ll have to leave. Then what will you do?” She turned her back to me again. I stood there stunned because I didn’t know about building codes.
“Then I’ll find something else to do.”
Her purple locks rustled when she shook her head, an orange highlight fell over her eyes and she brushed it away with a sudsy hand. “No, Dylan.”
I took her arm. I don’t usually touch people. I had held her hand the other day but that was because she wanted me to. Right now, she didn’t want me to touch her and flinched when I did, but I didn’t let that stop me and I surprised myself. “Liona.” I pulled her around to face me. “I really want to be with you. Just the two of us. Not all these people, here. Just you. With me.”
She had a smile for a moment, but the longer we looked deep into each other’s eyes, the more her lips straightened, until she relaxed, and her mouth opened just slightly, showing her beautiful teeth. I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over and kissed her.
I have never in my whole life kissed anyone. I only knew about kissing from movies and never understood how people could do something so gross like touching their lips together. Here I was kissing Liona and didn’t have any bad thoughts like that at all. I enjoyed kissing her. When she caressed my neck, and pulled my head tighter against hers, my heart raced. I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around her. My whole body pulsated. I didn’t know what was happening, but it felt good.
She pulled away and we looked at each other again. Her dazed eyes came back to reality and stiffened into a scowl. “I have to do the dishes. I have responsibilities, Dylan. Running away with you sounds like a dream, but I don’t live in a dream world. Maybe you do. I don’t. I have tenants to take care of. Someone must do the dirty work, and in this case, I’m the one since I’m the only one here who knows how.”
I know she was talking about for the moment. But I think she was talking about for the rest of her life, too. She was telling me ‘no’ in way too many words. She should have just said ‘no’, not given me all that other spiel about responsibilities. Not after asking me to leave my duty to watch Tim Lan’s house. I licked the sweet taste of her kiss off my lips and grabbed a towel. She handed me the skillet to dry.
“Maybe you can come with me to the beach today?” I said, my voice cracking from all the feelings I had inside of me. I don’t know what they were, just that they were there. I know they were the same kind of feelings whenever I got rejected, only this time the pain was greater. Before, I didn’t really care before. Most of the people who rejected me were my relatives and I learned how to overcome those feelings, thanks to Uncle Jim. I cared a little, but not much. Liona rejecting me hit in the gut. Hard!
“Okay.”
We didn’t say anything else after that. I stayed at the house for the full day. In the afternoon, we took everyone for a walk. I pushed Mrs. Benson’s wheelchair, and stopped at the corner where I used to stop with Randy. But Mrs. Benson wasn’t impressed with seagulls catching clams. And she was cold, so I wrapped her blanket tighter around her and gave her my jacket and then we kept on to the corner and back.
There were social workers at the house when we returned. I didn’t want to continue up the driveway.
“Come on, Dylan they aren’t here for you,” she said and took my arm. We both pushed Mrs. Benson up the hill and Mr. Gravestone and Mr. Bromheimer followed us with their walkers. Once in the house, I sat down on the couch right away. The social workers followed us inside. They had an older woman with them. She was tall and wore a cotton dress, but she wasn’t fancy enough to be a social worker.
“Liona, this is Mrs. Healy. She’s here to caretake the house during Mrs. Wright’s stay in the hospital.” Liona nodded a greeting. She had put on her suspicious look like the one she had when we first met. I hoped she didn’t have any plans of tripping the woman. Mrs. Healy was very cordial and smiled sweetly.
“Here are the tenants,” Liona said nodding at the two men who were still wheeling their walkers into the house. Mrs. Healy shook Mr. Bromheimer’s hand, but Mr. Gravestone only grumbled at her.
“Mrs. Benson has dementia,” Liona said.
“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Benson.”
Mrs. Benson nodded.
Liona came around to introduce me. I stood and offered my hand in welcome, not sure what Liona was going to say. I was still supposed to be a tenant. My escape from the boarding house could have been compromised right at this very moment.
“And this is Brian. My boyfriend,” Liona said. I dared not look into her eyes or the caretaker’s eyes either. I shook the lady’s hand and sat back down. Liona shouldn’t have lied, but she did. And I did nothing to stop her. What she said, though, thrilled me inside. She called me her boyfriend. Life couldn’t get much better than that.
Chapter 17
