Chapter Eighteen

The pilot’s voice broke the silence shortly after takeoff from DFW. “Mr. Bastion, you and your guest may now unfasten your seatbelts. The weather is clear all the way home. We should be arriving at Phoenix Sky Harbor by o nine hundred. As requested, the attendant will be serving your meal in the lounge area of the plane.”

Jody giggled. “I don’t know how anyone could possibly get used to this kind of treatment, Mr. Bastion.”

Jared’s eyebrows rose with delight. The smirk on his face revealed his mischievous side. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” She liked this playful side to him and knew he wasn’t the type of man that showed it often. He stood and held his hand out to her. “Let’s go and get comfortable. I’ve asked the attendants to serve a champagne breakfast to celebrate your definitive success with the Hintons.”

They strolled to the lounge area and got comfortable on a plush leather sofa. As Jody sat, she pivoted to face Jared and put her leg under her. In doing so, they faced each other and could talk in a more casual, personal manner.

“I don’t know how to thank you for everything you did to make it possible for Fiona to speak to her parents. If it weren’t for you, I never would have found them.”

He grimaced before looking away from her. “I have to be honest with you. I’ve been paid handsomely for helping you.”

She thought back to the brief discussion of his fees the first night they’d met at the gallery and remembered Terry had paid them with a canvas. After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, she cringed and asked, “What canvas did you and Terry agree to?”

“Solitude.”

“Really?”

Sheepishly, he nodded. “He wouldn’t sell it to me. I offered him a lot of money for it, but no matter what number I offered, he refused to sell. I’d like to tell you I feel bad about taking it, but I don’t.” Her laughter at his confession brightened the air around him and had him visibly relaxing.

“Remind me to thank him when we get home. You were invaluable to Fiona and me. No matter what the cost, having your help was worth every penny. I’ll make sure he knows that.”

Jared reached out and took her hand, gently playing with her fingers. The wheels in her mind spun as she tried to figure out why such a small gesture seemed to feel so much more substantial than it actually was. Each time physical contact occurred between them, no matter how slight, a kind of shared commingling of spirit seemed to take place. While the physical thrill of a new attraction was most certainly a part of what she felt, the experience went much deeper than that. His touch evoked an emotional response and had her stodgy mind-set lighting up as bright as a Christmas tree. She’d never felt a personal blending like that before with anyone.

The expression Jared’s face sported as he intimately touched her hand fascinated her. By the way he fumbled with her fingers she could tell he wasn’t comfortable with demonstrative gestures such as this. His clumsy attempt with personal contact was endearing. But no matter how awkward his actions were, her body delighted with the possibility of more affectionate contact with him. Would that be heightened as well? Almost instantaneously, a rush of adrenaline coursed through her landing smack dab in her southern regions.

Jody stiffened when she realized the train of thought her mind had suddenly taken and how quickly her body had responded. Shocked by how easily Jared evoked those sensual longings had her feeling the need to take extra steps to close her heart off.

The way Jared looked into her eyes made it clear he felt something for her, but the other men in her past had feelings for her too. In the end, that hadn’t mattered. She’d always ended up hurt and alone. Seduction wasn’t an option for her. A romantic relationship just wasn’t compatible with her lifestyle. The best possible outcome for everyone concerned would be just to leave the friendship they’d been able to forge together as it was—a friendship. Anything more would be disastrous.

Exceptionally skilled at reading people, Jared knew she had an internal struggle going on in her head about him. The way she stiffened as he held her hand had been a dead giveaway. Is there another man in her life? He didn’t think so, but that thought produced a highly uncomfortable jealous streak within him that he’d never encountered prior to meeting her. Then again, he’d never had so much at stake before. He didn’t like the feel of that particular riotous emotion one bit, but he’d deal with it until she became his because she was worth it. He had no qualms about fighting dirty if she was the prize. He wouldn’t allow anyone to come between them.

Currently lacking the emotional foundation needed for easing her mind about them as a couple, he had to approach this relationship business the only way he knew how. For the time being, he’d use the tools at his disposal to help her accept the forward progress of their relationship.

Being an analytical person had its perks in these situations. He ran through the different scenarios in his head until he figured out the most advantages path to take to get her to accept him as a lover and life partner. He would accept nothing less.

First, he needed to make her comfortable with the transition leading to a more personal one-on-one level between them. Second, she had to be put at ease with the prospect of them as an exclusive couple before anything more intimate could be gained. Jared was already so far beyond this phase of their relationship. Yet, he knew he’d have some difficulty slowing down to let her catch up. But he’d just have to keep his eye on the prize. She was more than worth the wait.

So far, for the most part, our relationship has consisted of three main people—her, me and little Fiona. Before they could move forward, it would be imperative to change that dynamic. She’d have to see their relationship in terms of just the two of them. No spirits.

Thinking back to the visitation of the night before, he understood the dead would always be there, hovering, or whatever the hell they did to kill time. But he and Jody needed a strong foundation between the two of them as a starting point. Once that groundwork had been established, nothing would be able to come between them. She had to understand she could trust him with anything. In turn, he’d always be there for her in whatever capacity she needed.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” She tensed. Biting her lip was a dead giveaway her anxiety level had just elevated. Interesting. Jared knew she’d probably thought he’d be making a pass at her now. For his plan to work, he’d have to throw her off balance and put her more at ease by asking general questions. Once she became comfortable, he’d hit her with a more personal conversation.

“How did you start talking to ghosts?”

As he’d expected, she visibly relaxed with the unanticipated question. He could read her expressions like a book. They were screaming loud and clear that she struggled with her feelings for him. A tingle of excitement ran through him. If she’s struggling, that means there’s interest. As that realization came to fruition, he knew there was no way in hell he’d leave her an opening to back away from him.

Little tremors full of promised thrills ran through his body as her fingers softly stroked their joined hands. With her mind focused on his question, he knew she didn’t realize she’d been gently caressing him. It delighted him that her gesture hadn’t been contrived, but instead purely spontaneous and natural. The unexpected familiarity drove him crazy. He wanted more. The anticipation of their lips coming together had his pulse racing.

“When I was little, I saw them all the time. They never hurt me, but sometimes…” her voice trailed off as she remembered what must have been a living nightmare for her. “I guess you could say they scared the hell out of me.” Jody laughed, but the tremble in her voice helped him understand how deeply she’d been affected by those memories. “I look back on it now, and I understand the spirits were just drawn to me somehow. They knew I could see them, and they wanted to talk, to tell their story.” She shrugged. “I was just too scared to listen.”

She piqued his curiosity. Jared imagined her as a little girl lying in bed, terrified of very real monsters. The mystery woman who showed up last night had appeared human enough to his adult eyes, but there was also a part of him that had seen a specter or ghoul-like quality to the ghost.

Being so very young when those visitations occurred had to have influenced Jody in an adverse way. He didn’t believe for a minute that he’d have been able to endure that phenomenon in his childhood as well as she’d obviously coped with it. And yet, she’d been able to turn those frightening experiences around and make the best of them. Somehow she’d turned the nightmare into something beautiful. Once again his heart swelled with pride for her.

Genuinely interested, he had to know more. “How did you go from being so scared of ghosts to approaching people and passing messages along for them? That’s a big leap to take.”

Her face crinkled with disbelief. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Yes.” Ensuring their joined hands remained so, he clutched her hand a little tighter. He made a production of getting comfortable while settling in for the story.

Her head tilted, and her eyes squinted slightly. She appeared to be sizing him up to determine how much of her story to tell.

“You’re not going to laugh at me, are you?”

“I would never,” he joked with a pretense of shock. He knew full well with Jody’s change in demeanor she was about to disclose a significant life-changing event. Something had happened that changed the way she looked at the paranormal abilities that had plagued her young life. Anxious to hear her response and wanting to encourage her to continue, his hold on her hand tightened.

“Okay. You asked for it. I was about twelve when I watched a documentary on scientists who were observing monkeys in the wild. They were at the edge of a desert—a sand dune type climate—that had been cursed by many years of drought. It wasn’t the typical kind of environment you’d think a chimpanzee would live in, but it was their home. The narrator mentioned over and over again how intelligent the monkeys were. Because of that, the scientists had to take extra precautions to lock up all of their food and water. If they didn’t take the time to secure those essentials, the monkeys would be tempted to come into camp and steal whatever they could.

“The documentary was so interesting and chock-full of statistics that I couldn’t wait to learn more about the inner social structure of chimpanzees. They loved and lived just like people do.” The more she spoke, the more animated and excited she became about what she’d seen. The documentary obviously had an enormous impact on her, and he couldn’t wait to hear the full story.

“The scientists talked about the familial organization and bonds within the chimpanzee lifestyle. All of the monkeys looked out for one another and appeared to have great affection for each other.”

When Jared felt her grip on his hand tense, and Jody’s face hardened into a grimace, he knew the story was about to take a turn for the worse. He just couldn’t imagine how a documentary about chimpanzees, of all things, could’ve changed her life as it did. He couldn’t wait to hear how this tied in with her.

“One morning, the researchers woke to find several of the female monkeys had given birth.” She smiled, but the tears which had pooled in her eyes weren’t happy tears. “The scientists had long range cameras, so they were able to get close-ups of those babies. They were hanging onto their mothers and nursing. It was beautiful.” Her head shook from the wonderment of it, as her tears started to fall silently down the curve of her cheeks.

“Because of the drought, the females didn’t have enough water to sustain their breast milk production. Once it got to that point, their supply dried up. As a result, the babies started to die one after the other until there were none left. I didn’t understand why the researchers didn’t give them water.” She brushed the tears away only to have more fall in their place.

“The researchers said they were only observers. They weren’t authorized to interfere with anything that happened, no matter how horrible. They weren’t allowed to change what would’ve happened had they not been there. They said they had to collect complete, unaltered data. If doing so meant having to watch those babies die, then so be it.”

As she relived that horrible scene, disgust for the scientists had her shaking from head to toe. “I was horrified. The momma monkeys carried their dead babies around with them for a month. They never let them go, even after the little ones had mummified.”

Seeing the world through Jody’s eyes had him taking a deep breath. If Jared had watched the documentary prior to meeting her, he probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But being this close to her and feeling how it affected her, compelled him to open his heart. She’d forced him to comprehend the devastating message that people, even neutral scientists, could be a part of such an atrocity and have the ability to distance themselves from the ugliness. She humbled him.

She took a moment to gather herself. “All I could think about was the fact that they were there. They could have saved them, Jared.” The pain of her words cinched around his heart. “They were blinded by what they were supposed to do and what was expected of them. They never once stopped to think that maybe the real reason they were there was to intervene. Perhaps, since they were there at that exact moment in time, they had been put there to save those babies. All they had to do was give them some water. That one small gesture would’ve made all the difference in the world. Those small, innocent creatures would have survived.”

She sniffled and looked down at their joined hands. “It got me to thinking, maybe that’s what the spirits around me wanted. They wanted me to intervene on their behalf—to pass their messages along to their loved ones. To help ease the pain and grief and start the healing process so their family members could continue on with their lives. Maybe when I show up at a random place at a random time, it’s not so random after all. Perhaps, in reality, I’d been drawn there to help someone who needed help. How could I go on with my life knowing I could help someone heal and then choose not to?” She shrugged her shoulders as if what she did with her gift was no big deal. “So, that’s how it began.”

Moved by her revelation, he lifted her chin. Something within him had churned and rearranged how he looked at life. Jared wanted her to view for herself how deeply she’d moved him. He poured every ounce of compassion she’d made him feel into his gaze. He opened up his deepest, darkest places for her through nothing more than a glance.

Jared moved in slowly and kissed her tear streaked cheek. He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes as his lips gently brushed hers. He’d tested her to see if she’d push him away. Please don’t shy away from me. I need to touch you. When she didn’t back away, he moved in for a tender kiss. Her arms went around his neck, and he tucked her into his lap. A passionate sigh escaped her lips through the kiss, and he thought he’d go mad. Her tenderheartedness and sympathetic nature were the complete opposite of his. Those qualities within her made him melt inside.

The touch of her lips made him weak. The contented little murmurs she uttered as he kissed her filled him with power. As tender as the kiss was, it sent electricity shooting through him, making his body come alive.

He’d been hopelessly lost before he’d met her. With her in his arms, he felt as though anything and everything would be possible. For the first time in his life, the world around him made sense. His thoughts became clear and sharp.

As he broke the kiss, a sudden realization hit him like a ton of bricks. I didn’t want to go to the art show. I hated things like that and avoided them at all costs. I felt compelled to go as if something had drawn me there. Now I know just what that something was. Jody.

She nuzzled his neck as he gently ran his fingers through her silken, golden locks. Jody took a breath as if she were going to say something but remained quiet. He didn’t push her. He waited patiently for the words he’d expected to come.

“I can’t get involved with you, Jared.”

He squeezed her tighter, sharing his unwillingness to let her go. “I think we’ve moved past that, Jody.” She tried to free herself from him, but he refused to break his hold.

“Tell me why this won’t work,” he demanded.

Rather than fight face to face, a resigned sigh escaped Jody, and she relaxed back into him. It would be easier to tell him if she didn’t have to look into his eyes. If she did, he’d see how much he affected her, and she couldn’t bear that.

“Jared, I was engaged a year ago. He broke it off because he said I made him feel like he didn’t matter. Anytime we went out in public, a spirit would show up. I’d be distracted until I could get away and talk to the people the spirit needed to contact. It’s a part of me. It’s who I am. I think it would kill me if I stopped.”

Jody waited for him to tell her that he understood, and he’d back away from her. In her heart, she knew he would. She just hoped they could remain friends. Even though she’d only known Jared a short period of time, it wouldn’t be possible to give him up all together just yet.

“He was a fucking idiot.”

His surprising response had her body jerking upright, leaving their faces so close they were almost kissing again. She looked deep into his eyes questioningly, trying to figure out if this was his idea of a joke.

“Was he ever involved in anything like you and I were with Fiona and the Hintons?”

After thinking about it for a moment, she shook her head in response. “No. He never got close to me when I channeled for people. He always distanced himself.” She shrugged her shoulders to convey she hadn’t expected any more than that from him. “I think my gift might have embarrassed him, or maybe it was just me that embarrassed him.”

His sarcastic smirk had her doing a double take. “He was one stupid piece of shit. If he loved you, he would’ve seen you for who you were, not who he wanted you to be.” He shrugged as if that was all that needed to be said and squeezed her possessively. “His loss. My gain.”

Jared’s cockiness had her giggling. Jody had to regain control of this situation. She gave him what she hoped would be her most compassionate expression. “Jared, I don’t want to hurt you. You don’t…”

He stopped her with his mouth. His lips caressed hers with feather-light kisses. His teeth nipped at her playfully, leaving all of her coherent thought in the wind. “I’m not backing away from you, Jody.” His confidence rang loud and clear through the kiss.

She wanted to believe him, wanted it badly, but being hurt in the past had her emotionally withdrawing from him. Finally able to gather her wits, she put her hand on his chest and pushed herself away before it was too late.

“Jared, we need to take this slow. You need to know what you’re getting into with me. You have no idea. Everywhere we go, we’d never be alone. There’d be constant interruptions.”

Just by looking at him, Jody could tell there wasn’t a thing she could say which would allow her to stomp on the brakes. She’d never be able to stop the momentum of whatever this was that had been happening between them. The determination she saw in his stance was clear. He might slow down for her, but she sincerely doubted he’d give up the pursuit altogether.

“Let’s make a deal. I’m willing to start out slow for you. We can date. We can get to know each other. I’ll be there to see for myself what it’s like being with you. Does that work for you?”

She was struck by a myriad of emotions—fear being the most identifiable.

“If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I’m telling you that this feels right to me, Jody.”

She melted when he gave her a beautiful smile full of promises. “I think you’re my monkey.” It took a moment for the seriousness of his statement to connect in her mind.

“What did you just say?”

“I felt compelled to go to that art show. I hate those things with a passion, but something told me I couldn’t miss that one. I was being drawn to you. You’re my monkey, Jody. I’m stepping outside of my box. I’m doing the unexpected. I want to give you water.”

His expression conveyed such intense sincerity that it left her stunned. Her only reaction was to stare at him with her mouth gaping open. He’d softened the moment by showing her a glimmer of humor at his comparison, which after some thought had her laughing harder than she had in ages. He’d used her own life changing moment against her, and it was working.

When she recovered from the giggles, she tried to school her body language so it wouldn’t scream how badly she wanted to kiss him again. Deep in thought and biting her lip, she walked to the other side of the lounge. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, but, God help her, she couldn’t let him go either.

“What are you afraid of, Jody?” He’d set all humor aside. She recognized the serious nature of his question in the timbre of his voice.

Unable to look him in the eye, her gaze moved down to her hands as she fidgeted with her fingers. She spoke in such a quiet tone, she knew he probably couldn’t hear her. Suddenly, Jared stood in front of her, tenderly lifting her chin up. “What are you afraid of? You can tell me. You can trust me with anything.”

Trying to gather the courage needed to open herself up to him, she took a deep breath and held it for a moment. Finally feeling as though she had the fortitude required to hold her ground, she looked deep into his eyes. Within those rich, dark black eyes she lost herself. She just couldn’t lie to him. If she were forthcoming about her misgivings, she’d decided he would surely back down.

“You could break my heart, Jared Bastion, and I don’t think I could recover from that.”

His eyes softened at her confession. “I’m asking you to trust me, Jody. If you can’t do that yet, then trust your heart. What is it telling you?”

With their gazes still locked, she looked for any indication of his emotions. “We’ll take it slow?”

A victorious smile crossed Jared’s lips. His eyes conveyed the truth Jody was looking for. “We will take it one day at a time, and only move as fast or slow as you want.”

Jody reached up and cradled his face in her hands. She pulled him down to her and accepted his offer with a tender kiss.