Chapter 4

Blocking

“…So by the age of twenty-one, there we were, suddenly millionaires. Our brother, Alec, made his first million when he was in college, and when he dropped out, we figured we didn’t need to go to college at all, and that we’d sort of follow in his footsteps. Personally, I’m not a techie like Alec; Connor is better at cooking stuff up and a great imitator so I just go along.

“Anyway, Alec had been fooling around with making apps since he was like twelve or so, and later, a couple of his apps went big. It just snowballed from there. He thinks he’s not lucky like us, but this one gaming app started it all for him, and he did a couple of successful spin-offs. Then luck struck again when he tried something new with more practical purposes—some app for taking calls while driving or something. He also started this social network that quickly got bought out by one of the biggies—maybe to shut it down. Either way, he has a knack for making things other people want to buy off of him or invest in right away.”

“So your brother works hard, but you and your twin hit the jackpot. Either way, one lucky family,” Stanley said with a smile.

Erica could tell that Stanley was interested in the discussion, but she sensed that part of him was uncomfortable.

“I guess we are. Connor and me, definitely. But my brother and I had moderate success with our own app before the jackpot. Alec spent a day showing us part of his process, and once we got the gist of it, Connor and I bounced around ideas for a while, and then developed this one game. It did okay—nowhere near any of Alec’s. Then yeah—bingo! Good thing Alec was successful before us, because we got some good contacts through him and got great advice. I guess we still got lucky with a few of those early investments too. We must’ve been tortured like hell in a previous life for the kind of ride we got in this one.” Brandon smiled, pausing a moment. Then he said, “So what do you do again?”

“I’m a cinematographer.”

“That’s awesome, man. I had interests along those lines when I was younger—maybe not specifically a cinematographer though. I mean, you just kind of point and shoot, right?”

Stanley kept a semblance of a smile while his brow crinkled. “Not exactly—definitely a bit more complicated than that. The cinematography can make or break a movie.”

“Oh, I’m sure—like any other aspect, right? Cast the wrong actor or hire the wrong director and the movie doesn’t stand a chance. Hey, did Erica tell you about this movie we shot together?” Erica’s eyes snapped to Brandon. “So we were like, thirteen,” he continued, “and my mom knew about my moviemaking aspirations, so she bought me this camcorder for my birthday. One day, Erica and I plotted out this whole story, and I made her act out most of it.” He suddenly looked at her questioningly. “I wonder if that’s when you got the acting bug? Anyway, she’d probably die of embarrassment if she saw it now,” he said, looking back at Stanley.

“You don’t still have it, do you?” Erica asked him. “That thing should be burned.”

But despite most of her agreeing with the sentiment, part of her hoped it still existed, that this piece of their lives—a beautiful moment in time when they were mostly together, even if not exactly in the way she wanted—had been preserved. She had a glorious time shooting that movie, and considered that summer one of the best in her entire life.

“I definitely wouldn’t add it to my résumé if I were you,” Brandon said to her. “And I wouldn’t add it to my reel. I mean, obviously, it was fun back then, but we were kids. We can probably still laugh at it, but I wouldn’t put anyone through watching that. It’s probably awful.”

“Well? Do you still have it or not?”

Brandon shrugged. “It might be in my crap somewhere, I don’t know. You’re right—it’s probably time to go through all my stuff again for some seasonal cleaning. Speaking of cleaning, did Erica tell you about this time we spilled…”

Stanley was doing a stellar job of feigning interest, but Erica saw Jennifer’s weariness with all the stories about her and Brandon in their youth plainly.

“Brandon, can I talk to you for a sec?” she interrupted his latest anecdote. “Can you guys excuse us?” She looked from Stanley to Jennifer as she stood and didn’t wait for an answer.

Once they were outside, she said, “Brandon, what the hell are you doing in there?”

“Something wrong with talking about careers, money, and our past as kids?”

Erica gave him a look. “None of it felt as innocent as you just made it sound. Luckily, Stanley didn’t take you up on your invitation to butt horns.”

“I’m just testing the guy out! You can know a man by his actions and reactions. And the way he reacted—or didn’t—was telling. You know I’m just looking out for you and making sure Stanley’s the right kind of guy.” He paused. “So you’re into geriatric dudes, huh? Why do you like him?”

“Because he’s not you.”

When she saw hurt crawl onto his face, she quickly said, “I didn’t mean it like that. Stan is serious, you know? Responsible, reliable—all the things I want in a guy I’d like to settle down with. So what if he’s not the best-looking or the youngest? He does what he needs to do. He works hard, he cares about his work, and he cares about me.”

“Yeah, but what about when he’s sixty and you’re forty? What’re you gonna do when he dies and leaves you alone?”

“Brandon! What a horrible thing to say! You’re being a real dick right now—any of us could die at anytime from anything, you know.”

“Sure, but get real—he’s your dad’s age! Or probably somewhere around there, I’d imagine.”

“Nice, Brandon. Keep digging. I definitely want to think about the dad who left when I was three right now. Go on.”

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m just saying that this guy’s way too old for you. Aren’t you a little creeped out? You’re twenty-four, and he could literally have a daughter somewhere the same age as you. You want to date a guy willing to bang his daughter?”

“Brandon! You sound one hundred percent insane right now. I am not Stanley’s daughter!”

“You don’t know that for sure. I’m just saying—imagine this was ten years ago. You’re telling me have no issue with some thirty-four-year-old guy going after a fourteen-year-old?”

“Brandon, you know that’s not the same thing!”

“You may technically be an adult now, but he’s still got twenty years of experience on you; he’s still taking advantage of your youth.” Brandon let out a sigh. “You have to dump him, Erica.”

“Okay, excuse you? I don’t know what you smoked or snorted before you came here, but this is ridiculous. Everything you’re saying is absolutely ludicrous!”

“Not this though: listen, you’ll get bored. He’ll drain the life from you; I can’t let that happen.”

“But Brandon, it’s not really your concern.”

“How could it not be?”

“Look, he’s a nice guy, and he loves me, and that’s the most important thing.”

Brandon shrugged. “Sometimes that’s not enough.”

“So what’s the alternative you’re suggesting here?”

“You should be with someone who makes you feel alive, not someone who makes you die a slow death. You’re young. Don’t dry up early.”

“Who’s this guy who will make me feel alive, Brandon, and where is he? Until you have him standing by, ready to introduce to me, stay the fuck out of my love life and mind your own goddamned business. Speaking of Jennifer, what if I had decided to go in on her in there, would you appreciate that? You wouldn’t want me to do the same to her, would you? Start nitpicking her?”

“It’s not the same,” he bellowed. Then he let out a short breath. “I don’t really care about that girl, Erica—not like I care about you. You’re actually a part of my life; she’s just here for a short ride.”

“Wow. Does she know that?” Erica asked, unable to process the mixture of joy and disgust going through her at his words.

“Of course she does. She’s just hoping for otherwise. But this thing with her ends in less than a month.”

“Wait, why so specific?”

Brandon let out another breath. “My brothers and I—we’ve had this dare thing going for the past few years—since we got flooded with money. We eventually got kind of bored with the girls in our new circle, so we started picking specific types to go after for a bit to shake things up. Long story short, I’m only dating Jennifer so I can win Alec’s beach house in Hawaii.”

Everything in Erica soured. “Are you serious? Brandon, please tell me you’re pulling my leg right now.”

“Dead serious, Erica,” he said, but his voice had gone soft, and the look on his face seemed regretful as he watched her. “No one’s gonna get hurt. I mean, she might be a little, but it’s not like I’m leading her on or anything; we’re just dating. Everyone does this—kicks it with someone for a while until they can’t kick it with them anymore and need someone new. Rinse and repeat. I just get something solid out of the deal; we both do.”

Erica held her hand up. “Just stop, Brandon. You’re despicable.”

He looked struck. “Don’t say that, Erica.”

“Let’s just go back inside. God, I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But you disgust me. Haven’t you ever cared deeply about anything but surfing? I know this thing with me and Stanley isn’t about you caring about me at all—it’s about you wanting me all to yourself for selfish reasons. You just don’t want anyone to play with your toys even though you never use them.”

She led the way back inside, fuming, unable to get over the fact that after all this time, Brandon hadn’t changed a bit.

She had ignored this side of him for the most part, but every now and then, even she couldn’t look past it.

She remembered the first time she saw the not-so-nice part of him—when she was at over at his place at a rare time he was home alone.

They were about fifteen, and his mom had gone grocery shopping, Alec was out, and Connor had left to go to a neighbor’s house.

It was a Saturday, and after talking about their week at school, Brandon stared at her, locking his eyes with hers, and she felt the familiar hypnotism begin.

“I want you to do me a favor,” he said.

Anything, she almost said, but instead she asked, “What is it?”

“I heard the average is six inches, and I want you to help me measure it.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, her voice almost sounding like a screech. She knew her eyes must’ve bugged out, too.

“Touch it,” he said. “Measure it, I mean. With your hand. That’s about six inches, right?”

Her heart punched her rapidly from the inside. Still, she managed to say, “So you have a stiffy right now, and you want me to…”

“Don’t get flattered or anything, it has nothing to do with you—it just does that sometimes. But since you’re here…”

“Why don’t you take a ruler to it sometime when I’m not here? Since it’s always happening, anyway.”

His smile not only returned, but widened.

He lowered his voice. “You know you want to. You’re curious.”

All she could think was, Damn him and that stupid, new sexy voice of his with those stupid muscles coming from those stupid broad shoulders that popped up out of nowhere over the stupid summer…

She reached her hand out and touched it, lining her hand up with his penis.

He burst into laughter, and she pulled her hand back right away.

He continued laughing hysterically, and shame flushed her cheeks.

How could she be so stupid?

You actually touched it!” he said, howling with laughter, seemingly unable to open his eyes from amusement at her expense as tears squeezed out.

“You better not tell anyone!” she said, just as he was saying,I can’t believe you touched it!” again.

She stormed out to go home and didn’t answer his phone calls for the next two days.

Not long after the incident, she heard that he’d started dating some girl named Tara, and the news made her feel even more embarrassed.

“That was awkward,” Stanley said once she and Brandon sat back down at the table.

Erica watched Jennifer examine Brandon silently, then turned to Stanley.

“You know what I was telling you about before?” she said. “It was kind of boiling up in me; I couldn’t get past it or ignore it. I just had to ask him about it and get more details.”

Stanley nodded in understanding, as she expected. He had made it clear to her he thought her need to get to the bottom of why her friendship with Brandon went sour was perfectly reasonable. He got why she didn’t accept ‘jealous girlfriend’ as an excuse.

“I’ll tell you more about it later,” she added.

Jennifer was still looking at Brandon questioningly, although Brandon hadn’t yet turned to look at her. Finally, Brandon smiled at her, tapping her on the knee.

Watching Jennifer’s response made Erica feel guilty—the girl was obviously smitten with Brandon and hung on to his every action, each charity smile.

Erica wondered if that’s what she looked like to everyone ten years ago when she looked at Brandon.

She felt guiltier for thinking of Brandon in an improper way even once when they had lunch at the diner a month ago, the way her body responded to him still.

“Well, I enjoyed those stories you told of my Erica when she was younger,” Stanley said, his voice interrupting her thoughts. “She sounds as adorable then as she is now.” He paused a moment, then said, “I have a story for you too. You know, she thinks we first met on some indie film, and technically, we did, but I actually met her months before that.”

Erica turned to look at Stanley. This was news to her.

“I first met her while she sparkled on stage for a play. It was her first part out of college,” he continued. “I learned that later. Anyway, this play ran for a few months. I attended one night, and man, as soon as I saw her, I fell in love with her. She was magnificent,” he said, punctuating the words. “I’m sure she has grown leaps and bounds since your kiddie videography days. She was so compelling, I returned to watch her again and again.”

Erica sat, stunned. She had no idea someone had been so moved by her performance—she didn’t even have a leading role.

Her mom came to see the play one night, so she knew she had at least one admirer. But all the other nights, when she kept hoping Brandon would show up, surprising her with a visit in response to one of her calls, emails, texts, voicemails, instant messages on social networks, she figured she had no supporters. Every single night she looked for a reply, any reply to: If you’re ever in town, I’m in this play I’d like you to see.

Then Brandon’s number changed altogether, and she couldn’t find anyone who knew his new number. Even his social networking profiles disappeared.

She had tortured herself wondering if it was because she had kissed him on the cheek when he was leaving the day after her graduation. It was only a friendly kiss on the cheek! she argued with herself one of the many times she found herself lost in thought. Friends always did things like that—she meant nothing by it. Did he think she was going to want more from him?

“I figure this is as good a time as any,” Stanley continued. “Our surroundings are stunningly beautiful—like Erica herself—and one of her oldest and most cherished friends is here, back in her life again. It just feels like the right moment.”

Everything in Erica went still.

Stanley turned fully toward her. “Erica, like I said, it was pretty much love at first sight when I saw you lighting up that stage. You’re a beautiful woman, so I’m sure a lot of men probably feel that way when they first see you—you practically glow.”

Suddenly, Erica couldn’t take her eyes off of Stanley; in fact, she couldn’t do anything. Her arm didn’t even feel like hers as Stanley took it and lifted it, holding her hand.

With his other hand, he reached into his pocket, and her eyes locked on the location.

“Erica, I’ve made no secret of my plans for you—as in, I mean to keep you. You inspire me. You make me feel vibrant. All I want to do is keep you happy and watch you blossom in the industry and find success as I know you will; no one can deny your talent. And you are a woman of many talents.”

Erica found herself blushing, her cheeks warming.

Stanley pulled out a beautiful, sparkling ring, the diamond seeming to catch all lights.

She watched as Stanley held the shimmering piece at the tip of her finger.

“Erica Cain, make me the happiest man on earth—say you’ll marry me. I love you, and I want to spend my life doing just that—loving you. Not just adoring you as you deserve, but doing things that show you how much you mean to me every single day. I promise to show you how much love is an action verb.”

A sound coming from Brandon’s side of the table finally broke the spell, and when Erica briefly looked in its direction, she thought she caught Brandon rolling his eyes.

As she turned to look at Stanley’s face again, ignoring both the ring’s brilliance and the feel of Brandon’s gaze on her, her heart melted at Stanley’s sincerity and open-eyed devotion. She had no doubt he meant every single word he’d said, and she knew he was exactly what she needed—at least one form of dependability.

“Yes, Stanley,” she said, bringing his hand up to kiss the top of it. When she saw his face transform into joy, she knew she had done the right thing.

He slipped the ring on, grabbed her into a hug, and then gave her a peck on the lips. Then he turned to the couple opposite them, a huge smile on his face.

Brandon obviously did not share his joy. Everything about him was tight, and only when Jennifer pushed his chin up to close his mouth did his body seem to relax.

Then Jennifer said, “Oh my god, how wonderful! Can’t believe we got to see that!”

Brandon turned toward Jennifer, and then looked back at them, his mouth in a semblance of a smile.

“Congratulations,” he said, raising his wineglass and tipping it toward them.

Erica couldn’t stop staring at how the top half of his face didn’t at all match the bottom or his light tone.

His eyes were burning.