I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing.
Erica kept reminding herself every time a doubt crept in or she looked at Stanley that the two of them had come to the best conclusion: get the legal part of their marriage out of the way and then just throw a big party later on. The most important thing was that they make everything official and become husband and wife sooner than later.
A friend of hers had done the same thing and had no regrets.
“Who knows how long we would’ve been waiting for all the funds just to get married?” her friend had said. “Who cares when the real thing happened, anyway? Just make a big deal about it to everyone later when you can afford it. You don’t even have to tell anyone you’re already legally married.”
Erica decided she and Stanley would do the same and they made a promise to each other not to tell a single soul.
Erica felt horrible about not having her mother there. She had to convince herself that although this was the real thing, it wasn’t, considering no one was there to share it. Her mother wouldn’t be missing anything when it came down to it—what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, like everyone else. Later, they would treat the wedding ceremony as if they were doing it for the first time.
And Stanley looked so happy about their decision; how could she not be happy too, even though it had all been his idea to begin with?
Besides, she needed to prove her devotion to him. After seeing his face—the disappointment and anguish on it once she made her confession about her evening with Brandon—she would have done anything for him, given in to any request.
He had her worried for a while when he spent some time locked up in their room alone once she broke the news.
She realized then how much she had almost thrown away.
Stanley was her rock—what would she do all by herself in this city without him? His presence and support meant more to her than she’d realized.
When he came out of the room, his face was red, and she figured he had spent some time crying, which made her feel even worse.
Then he said, “Can I talk to you?” and when she nodded, he led her to the couch where they sat down.
“Although I can’t say I’m surprised it happened, it hurts like hell, Erica—I can’t tell you how much. But I still love you. I know you guys have a history, and the way I saw him look at you the night of our double date, I knew we had a problem. Especially with what I know of how things ended between you. One great thing about being my age is being able to put things in perspective. I’ve had a lot of experience, and I knew in my gut you guys had to take care of that unspoken unfinished business between you; the energy between you two was palpable. You’re both young and still exploring all sorts of issues. Most of all, despite this mistake, I know your heart, Erica, and I know you love me. I know we’ll make a great couple and I’m still glad I’m going to marry you. We’ll make a great team. I’ll do all I can to support you and be there for you. I will love you to my grave, Erica.”
By then Erica was crying, filled with gratitude and touched by the depths of his love.
“Why don’t we push the wedding up?” he said brightly. “Not the wedding, per se, but why don’t we just get the legal part done? Why wait for you to become my wife? Let’s just go to the courthouse or county clerk or whatever. What do you think about that?”
What could she say to him after all of that, but yes?
And now here she was, heading for the elevator in the building where she would become Stanley’s wife.
But was she doing the right thing, after all?
As the elevator ascended, Stanley grabbed her hand, his face full of love and contentment.
She smiled back at him.
I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing…
Everyone’s eyes went to Brandon immediately, but Erica didn’t notice he had everyone’s attention until later.
When Brandon materialized in the room, he was all she could see—his familiar frame catching her attention easily.
Then, when his eyes found hers, they were all she could focus on.
They released her from their captivity only when the blue-tipped orbs turned from her to settle on someone else.
“I’m sorry, Stanley,” he said, looking truly apologetic. “But I can’t let this happen.”
Brandon now had all the clerks’ attention too, but no one seemed to mind the interruption in the processing.
By now, everyone had probably sensed an impending drama, and no one wanted to miss it. For some people, moments like these were what they lived for.
“Brandon!” Erica said nervously. “How did you find me?”
Why was that question the first thing out of her mouth?
She hoped he didn’t mention how easy she had made it for him, blabbing to his twin about the details.
“You know I have the resources to do so anytime I want,” he said with a deliberate look. “And it looks like I caught you right in time. Erica, I love you. Far beyond how I loved you before. I don’t just love you as the best friend who has always been there for me; I love you as a woman I want to always be there for me, every day, at my side for the rest of my life. And I want to be there for you the same way. Erica, I want you to be my leading lady. I love the woman you’ve grown into—that awkward, shy, sweet girl turned into a beautiful, confident woman. Still sweet, still looking at me like that—the way you are now. You can’t deny it, Erica, and I know the issue isn’t whether there’s love here between us; we definitely have that in common—love for each other. I don’t doubt you love Stanley, but that love is no match for ours. Don’t deny me the chance to show you how much I’ve grown since you last saw me years ago, and how much more capable I am of loving you the way you need to be.”
“But you said yourself that, sometimes, love isn’t enough. Why should I care in your case, but not Stanley’s?”
“Because there’s one major difference between me and Stanley in this case. I’m sure he loves you too, and I’m not here to try to figure out or compare who loves you more—perhaps we both need you equally. But I know I make you feel alive. There’s no lukewarm love here—we burn for each other.”
He took a few steps toward them, and Stanley stood up, the action distracting her long enough to regain her composure from Brandon’s sudden nearness.
Stanley looked from her to Brandon, and then back again.
“Erica,” he finally said, turning fully toward her and offering her his hands. She took them and he searched her eyes.
Erica found herself unable to utter a single word. She could only stare back at him while trying to ignore the burn of Brandon’s blue gaze.
“Do you love him?” Stanley asked softly, his voice almost a whisper.
Erica considered lying, then figured it was useless.
She nodded her head, closing her eyes briefly. Then she quickly said, “But I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with you.”
Stanley shook his head slowly, a sad smile forming on his face. “Like I said, I’ve had a lot more experience, and you can lie to yourself all you want, but I know this is a losing game. I was willing to try, anyway. I fooled myself into thinking that if I could just convince you to physically stay away from him, you’d be mine again. But I see you were never really mine, were you? You always belonged to him.”
He let out a breath. “I can’t compete; I see the way you guys are looking at each other even now. Your story’s long from over, and I was a fool to think you had closed a chapter when…” He stopped. “I will always love you, Erica, and as much as I want to selfishly keep you to myself, I know how unhappy that would make you. In the long run, it would work against me. I love you enough that I can’t stand to be a part of your misery, and I know you’ll be miserable if I insist you never see him again. You would do it for me, but it would be for no one’s good, and the only reason I’d ask it is because we all know what’ll happen if you two come together in person. I’m powerless to stop it.”
Stanley looked at Brandon. “Looks like I have to adopt your philosophy for this one, Brandon, and go with the flow; no use fighting this current.”
Stanley kissed her hands, then dropped them. He headed for the exit.
Watching his back, dejection all over him, Erica’s heart tugged.
She knew she couldn’t make it better, but she was moved.
“Stanley, wait!” she said, about to go after him, but Brandon grabbed her arm, stopping her and effectively forcing her to look at him.
“You know he’s right,” he said. “There’s no stopping this.”
His gaze burned into hers.
Everything in her melted, and Stanley quickly became a distant memory. All she could see was Brandon, and, lost in the pool of his eyes, she could deny him nothing—definitely not the kiss he was about to plant on her as his lips came toward hers.
She was powerless against the way he made her heart slam against her chest, the way he made her body tingle, the way he sent her emotions haywire. All she wanted was his lips on hers, his arms around her, to feel pressed against him. She wanted his voice in her ear, whispering whatever. She longed to drown in those eyes trained on her.
He broke the kiss temporarily to say, “I love you,” and she sure as hell couldn’t resist saying, “I love you” back before their lips met again.
When they finally pulled away, they eventually remembered where they were when applause suddenly exploded all around them.
Erica felt like she had just given the best performance of her life, despite not a single part of what had transpired before being an act.
They both smiled at the grinning people in the room, including the faces lit up behind the glass.
When Erica looked back at Brandon, his gaze had become even more intense.
A thought crossed her mind, and she realized Brandon had probably been thinking the same thing.