I fly back east, over the clouds, a perfect blue sky enveloping me, cleansing me, freeing me from my past.
At least that’s what it feels like.
Gina picks me up at the airport. There is nothing to say. She knows how hard it is. We exchange a long and tearful hug.
It’s good to be home. Our off-campus house is my home now. More than my parents’ house. It’s where I feel the most like myself. I lie in my bed here, surrounded by my books, my plants, my laptop. I have become a new person in my time at UMass. I was right to come here.
After a couple days, I get back into school stuff. I pick my new classes. I find out I’ve been admitted to an advanced Emily Dickinson class at Amherst College. So that’s good news.
The day before the semester begins, Gina takes me out to dinner. We talk about normal things: a guy she met over vacation, a new professor in her department.
She thinks I should date this semester. She thinks some new romantic possibilities would be good for my mental health.
I don’t know how that’s going to work. I couldn’t even make it to Simon’s New Year’s party. She’s probably right, though. I resolve to get a haircut, and buy some new sneakers.
Sure enough, I get asked out twice in the first week of school. I say yes in both cases, and politely sit with both of the young men, drinking coffee and smiling at the appropriate times.