The first thing I did the next morning was destroy my cell phone. I snuck out of bed, Candy snoring lightly, and padded down to the garage. I wrapped a thick cloth around the phone and hammered away at it until I was pretty sure it was toast.
“Fuck you, AO,” I seethed.
I went back inside and found the family iPad, breaking it in half over my knee. A part of me cringed, thinking of the money wasted. That shit wasn’t cheap.
But I was done with AO, whoever it was. Sure, for some reason, AO had some scary yet bizarre ability to control me and force me to do things I didn’t want to do. But that was only once I’d answered AO’s call or text. If I could destroy AO’s means of communication, I would stop being sucked into the murderous sickness.
Damn, it had felt good, taking down that fucking would-be school shooter, his white trash mother, and that dickweed road hog. I couldn’t deny the intense feeling of elation that trilled through me when I snuffed them out. It felt…righteous.
All the more reason to put a stop to this—now!
I was going to avoid all electronics today. Even the radio and TV were off limits. I’d tell Candy and Katie that I wanted a special day to spend with them, with no distractions. We would go for a walk, play in the yard, break out the board games under Katie’s bed. Time to get back to the Little House on the Prairie days. Charles Ingalls would never have been possessed by AO. No sir. And not me anymore.
I was just hiding the TV remotes on the top bookshelf in the living room when Katie waltzed down the stairs rubbing her eyes.
“Hi, Daddy,” she said. “Do I have to go to school today?”
“No, honey, not today,” I replied, picking her up. “We’re going to have a lot of fun. You want to help me make blueberry pancakes?” Maine was filthy with blueberries. Everywhere we looked, someone was selling blueberries out of their front yard. Thankfully, my daughter couldn’t get enough of them.
Her face lit up, casting aside the drowsiness of sleep. “Yes! Can I do all the stirring?”
I walked her into the kitchen. “I’ll even let you flip some.”
She surprised me by kissing my stubbly cheek. “I like it when you don’t work.”
I kissed her back, smiling. “Me too. Now, you get the blueberries and I’ll get the pancake mix.”
“Can we listen to Radio Disney?”
I paused. “Not today. Why don’t you tell me a story while we cook?”
“What kind of story?” The pint of berries looked enormous in her tiny hands.
“Any kind. No, wait, make it a funny story.”
“Like one about butts?” Katie giggled. She had recently discovered the word butt and there was no end to the fascination it held for her.
“Sure, a butt story will be perfect.”
We cooked and talked about an angry butt that coughed farts. It was sick and so smelly, no one wanted to take it to the doctor. As I genuinely laughed at her potty humor tale, I couldn’t stop wondering what she would think if she knew the very bad things her father had done. Would she be afraid of me? Would she run to her mother, pleading with her to send the bad man away?
Or would she still love me, not caring a whit about my recent bout with insanity?
Above all, that thought disturbed me the most. I’d become a monster, whether I liked it or not. I didn’t want to know my child could love a monster.
The sweet aroma of pancakes brought Candy down from her slumber and I proposed my day of being unplugged. She nearly choked me out when she hugged her arms around my neck.
It was a good day, despite the strange silence of the neighborhood when we took our walk. The only vehicle that passed by what was usually a relatively busy Route 302 was a lumber truck, rattling past well over the speed limit, the stack of logs on the flatbed threatening to topple off. We had the park to ourselves, then went home and played Frisbee in the back yard.
Later that night, Candy and I again tried to make love, but it just wasn’t happening. She said all the right things while I brooded in our darkened bedroom.
I fell asleep feeling like a hollow man. It wasn’t just the fact that I couldn’t get it up that had scooped out some vital part of my being. That strange, telltale heat reddened my palms and legs as I tried to force sleep to come. I’d just had a near perfect day. After being a desk jockey for years, the amount of physical exercise I’d engaged in should have wiped me out.
Something had been missing.
My stomach lurched when I peeked into the black corners of my mind. I knew exactly why I was feeling unfulfilled.
I hadn’t killed a single person.
And it was eating me alive.