While I was waiting for Kipa, I made up the guest bedroom for when my mother arrived. She was never on time—always either early or late, and I preferred to be ready in case she was early. Phasmoria didn’t care where she slept, but I liked making my guests comfortable, and given it was my mother, I was constantly hoping for reassurance that I was doing a good job of making it on my own. She had left me with my father, returning to the Morrígan and to her duties, and while I knew that it was her responsibility, I always felt like she chosen a life without me over having me in her life.
The whole abandonment issue was ridiculous on my part. I knew that much. There was no way she could have taken me with her into the tall towers of the Morrígan’s Castle. It wouldn’t have been a healthy life for a child anyway. Yet there was part of me that always felt like I was an afterthought in my mother’s life. Given I had been an unexpected glitch in her short-lived relationship with my father, the truth was I had been an accident.
And she had given me twelve years of her life, taking as much time away from the Morrígan as the goddess had allowed. She had seen me grow up as much as she could. All of these things I knew, and yet here I was, still trying to please her—still striving to hear her say that she was proud of me. Phasmoria had never said she wasn’t, but it crossed my mind that she never really thought that I craved her approval.
When the guest room was clean and sparkling, with fresh linens and even fresh flowers on the bedside table, I wandered back into the living room. Raj was watching Acrobert and the Alphas, and he glanced up as I entered the room.
“Raven want to watch TV with Raj?” He sounded so hopeful that I couldn’t resist. I curled up on the sofa next to him, and he lay down with his head in my lap as we watched the show together. I wasn’t able to focus on the antics of the superheroes, but I laughed when Raj laughed, and tried to let myself enjoy the down time. At least Phasmoria liked Raj. In fact, she had taken a real shine to him, and had confided in me that I had done a good thing by adopting him.
“Raven loves Raj, I hope Raj knows that.” I scratched his back, my nails sliding over the leathery skin. I wasn’t sure if he actually enjoyed having his back scratched, or whether it was the attention that he liked, but he never complained.
“Raj loves Raven. Raj knows Raven loves Raj.” He glanced up at me, his eyes full of concern. “Raven seems sad. Raven talk to Raj?”
I bit my lip, not wanting to worry him. “My friends are going through some hard times right now, and it makes me sad.”
“But Raven’s okay?” Raj asked.
“Yes, Raven is fine.” I glanced at the clock. I needed to check on the ferrets. I hadn’t given them very much attention in the morning, and I wanted to spend a little time talking to Elise. That brought to mind another concern. Since it was Llew looking into the curse hanging over their heads, if Jordan interfered with our friendship, I didn’t know who else to turn to. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to check on the ferrets.”
Raj shifted so I could stand up, and then immediately focused on the TV again as the commercial ended. Raj loved television. I had the sneaking suspicion that he watched too much of it, but honestly—if it made him happy, and he was healthy, I wasn’t going to make a fuss about it.
I opened the door to the ferrets’ room, and they poked their heads up as I peeked in. Closing the door behind me, I hurried over to the cage and made sure they had enough food and water, and that their bedding was still fine for the night. I changed it once a day, usually in the morning, clearing out the saturated litter, and spreading clean straw down for them.
Elise stood up to the cage door, blinking her beautiful wide eyes at me.
Raven, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you the past couple days.
It wasn’t that I had been gone, but I knew my focus had been elsewhere and the ferrets could always tell when my attention wasn’t fully engaged. I opened the door, standing back for them to race out into the room and start running around. The exercise would wear them out. I sat down on the floor next to the cage, and Elise immediately made her way into my lap.
“I’m sorry, Elise. I’ve been preoccupied. I was just telling Raj that a couple friends of mine are going through some difficult problems, and it’s taking up a lot of my time. I don’t mean to neglect you.”
Oh, I understand. And we’re fine. Although I was wondering, if it’s nice enough, can we go out for a walk?
I pointed toward the window. “There’s a foot of snow out there right now, and the storm hasn’t broken yet. I don’t think you’d be very comfortable. It’s icy outside. I can open the window for a little while, to let some fresh air in. But I guarantee you it’s cold.”
Elise paused, then blinked. An open window would be fine. Only don’t do it when we’re out running around unless there’s a screen. Gordon might try to squeeze through the window. He’s thinking more and more like a ferret nowadays. I suppose you haven’t—she paused, staring at the floor.
“No, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to find out anything. Llew’s looking into matters, but I’m going to tell you right now, I’m not sure how successful we’ll be. I’m doing what I can.”
I know you are. And I’m ever so grateful for that. You take very good care of us, and Gordon is extremely happy, even though he’s forgetting who he is. Templeton and I are happy, too. We’re just hoping that someday you’ll be able to free us. She paused, then asked, What happens if we die in ferret form? Will we be free from the curse?
“Honestly? I’m not sure, but I think you would be. So even though you’re trapped within your bodies now, at some point you should be free.”
But haven’t we been in ferret form longer than usual? Ferrets don’t live as long as we have, not naturally.
“That’s another thing I’m trying to find out. And yes, you’ve lived far longer than ferrets usually do.” I stroked her head, smiling at the touch of her soft fur under my fingers. “Elise, I’m happy that you’re with me. I hope you know that. I’m happy to take care of you as long as necessary.”
I know that. So does Templeton. And as I said, Gordon’s for the most part happy—he’s happy doing ferret things. Now and then he has a flash where he remembers who he is, but I’m not holding out much hope that will last much longer.
I played with them for a while, bouncing balls across the floor and playing with the feather toy. Finally, I topped off their food dish and gave them clean water again before locking them back in their cage. I opened the window a little, setting my phone alarm to close it again before the room got too cold.
The doorbell rang, and I turned to go, glancing over my shoulder to see Elise staring at me through the cage. But she seemed content, and I let out a slow sigh, shutting the door to the room behind me.
Kipa was standing at the door.
“I thought you had to help Herne tonight. How did you get out of it?” I asked as he pulled me into his arms and gave me a long kiss, his lips pressing against mine.
My pulse raced. I felt safe and warm when he held me, and right now, all I wanted to do was jump into bed with him. Sex was a great way to procrastinate, especially when faced with a task I really didn’t want to do. It was also a good stress reliever, and right now I was about as stressed as I had ever been.
“I told him the truth. That you needed my help tonight, and that I was putting my girlfriend’s needs higher than his. He understood.”
I wasn’t sure how true that was, but I decided to just be grateful that Herne hadn’t insisted on Kipa working. The thought of facing Arachana terrified me, and I was grateful that Kipa had offered to go through the ritual with me.
“Speaking of needs, did you bring the heart?” I grimaced. While I wasn’t squeamish, the thought of playing around with a heart plucked fresh out of a pig didn’t sound like a lot of fun.
Kipa held up a small cooler. “It’s in here. And I’m going to have over a hundred pounds of pork in my freezer, so I hope you like bacon and ham.”
I stared at him. “You really bought a whole pig just to get me a pig heart?”
He grinned. “Hey, you should feel special. I wouldn’t fill my freezer for just any girl.”
It sounded so absurd that I suddenly found myself laughing like a maniac. “That’s the most romantic, ridiculous gesture I’ve ever heard of. My boyfriend bought me a pig heart.” I couldn’t stop laughing, and finally Kipa put his hand on my shoulder.
“Are you all right? It wasn’t that funny.”
I nodded, gasping as I tried to control myself. “I think I’m just a little stressed. Anyway, thank you so much. And I love bacon and ham. So does Raj.” I glanced at the clock, wondering if we had time to take a break before we went through with the ritual. After all, if Arachana was as dangerous as my mother thought she was, I wanted to go out on a good memory.
Kipa seemed to sense my mood. “Do you think we have time…?”
“We can make time. It’s not like she’s expecting me. I haven’t called out her name and offered her the heart. I don’t think an hour’s going to make that much difference.”
Kipa placed the heart—still in the cooler—in my refrigerator. He turned to me, his eyes glowing. Without a word, I reached out and took his hand, and led him into the bedroom.
Rather than the boisterous mood of our last assignation, we were both solemn, and silent. I began to unbutton the front of his shirt. As I slid it off of his shoulders and tossed it across my cedar trunk that held spare blankets, Kipa let out a slow hiss between his teeth. He pulled me to him, stroking my cheek as he gazed down into my eyes. His lips touched mine, warm and searching, as his tongue slid between them. Still kissing me, he lifted me up around the waist, turning toward the bed. He carried me over and lay me down gently, and I spread my legs as he knelt between them, his hands searching under my shirt.
As I came up for air, I slid back on the bed and sat up, stripping my shirt over my head and unzipping the side of my skirt. I settled back down, pushing up with my feet so that he could slide my skirt down my legs. He caught the sides of my panties with his fingers as he undressed me, stripping them off along with the skirt. I lifted my legs and he pulled them off, tossing both skirt and underwear onto the floor next to the bed.
“Pants. Take off your pants.” I pointed to his jeans, where he was pressing hard against the zipper.
He unzipped, his shaft springing free as he kicked off his jeans. He was glorious, his abs strong and firm, and my head swam with desire as he knelt, once again between my legs. I wrapped my legs and feet around his waist as he kissed me, pressing his chest against my breasts.
“I want inside you. I want to own your body with mine.” He whispered in my ear, his voice low and sultry.
I ached, every inch of my body craving him. Hungry for his touch, I swiveled beneath him in anticipation. My nipples hardened as his chest rubbed against mine, and he leaned down, taking one of them in his mouth, sucking so hard it almost hurt. I gasped, another jolt of desire racing through me.
“Fuck me, Kipa. Fuck me so hard I can’t think.”
As he sucked at my breast, he reached one hand between my thighs and began to rub gently, sending me into a spiral of need. I groaned, and he pressed harder, circling faster, before he slid two fingers inside me, stroking against the inside.
I reached down and clasped my hand around his shaft, giving him a firm squeeze as I stroked along the sides.
“You want me inside?” he teased.
“I want all of you. Fuck me as hard as you can. Drive out the darkness and help me breathe.” I let go of him and wrapped my arms around his waist, trying to pull him into me.
Kipa let out a harsh laugh, teasing me. He pressed in, just the head of his shaft, then pulled out again. Then, once again, he slid inside me but withdrew.
I groaned, almost unable to bear the hunger that rolled in waves through my body. Finally, his eyes turned dark and he drove inside, penetrating my folds, thrusting as deep as he could. He held me down with his body as I reveled in the feeling of him stretching me wide. Then slowly, he began to move, little thrusts at first that set me swooning, then harder and harder, grinding against me as I welcomed every inch.
I spiraled out of my thoughts and into the moment, my awareness focused only on him, on the feeling of his body joined with mine, on the feeling of his unrelenting passion as he thrust again and again. And then, before I had time to prepare, I started to rise, letting out a series of little ohs, and the next moment, I capitulated, falling into the orgasm as though I might fall off a cliff, the shock waves racing through me. I let out one last cry as the wave of passion dragged me under.
Kipa stiffened, groaning so loudly at first I thought he might be hurt, but then he threw back his head and his hips beat a rhythm against mine as he came, moaning my name.
As he slowly collapsed on top of me, I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go, wanting to hold on to this moment forever. I was crying, I realized, although I didn’t know why. Everything felt so right, and the passion between us was so raw that it left every nerve unsettled. And yet, I was at peace. As the waves subsided, he slowly rolled off of me and I slipped into his arms, my face pressed against his chest.
“Raven, oh my Raven.” He kissed my forehead, then my lips, brushing my hair back from my face.
I smiled at him through my tears, unsure of what had just happened. Something in our relationship had shifted, leaving me both nervous and yet happy.
“I’ve never felt anything quite like that.”
He pressed his forehead against mine, smiling. “We’ll have to try for it again” was all he said before he kissed me once more.