Lisa, Let Us Remember Richard

Do you remember Richard’s hands, Lisa?

Michelangelo caught and stilled hands like Richard’s,

his Adam’s frescoed reach bound by two dimensions

that on Richard were four—height depth breadth time

lives before us lives yet to come

assailed existence onerous survival

not regarded as art or beauty, although

it is a beauty rougher than fresco

and warm as wood, if wood were flesh

elegantly crafted walnut with oil finish

delicately poised for work or rest, unaware

that surgeons, musicians, artists

would weep in envy at the sight

but there was more to this.

Richard’s demeanor bespoke his hands

tentative, unobstrusive, and with a tremor so slight

that gave Richard’s hands an animation, life

that joined and sang with the spirits who dwell

in pencils, spoons, split wood, rawhide.

Lisa, let us remember

the late summer afternoon

he sat on the back stairs, making a drum.

We watched his hands hollow a stump

and stretch, coaxingly, wet rawhide

while my little girls and Richard’s nieces

played on the swing set in the yard.

“Uncle Richard washed our hair last night,”

said Peaches. “For bugs; they’re all gone now,”

said Kitty. Richard looked up and smiled as

those hands that had gently washed and combed

lice from little girls’ hair shaped and smoothed

wet rawhide to a ragged circle then laced

top and bottom back and forth, back and forth.

Do you see this photograph? Do you remember

I walked among the children with a roasting pan

of watermelon wedges that late summer day?

Out of the frame you stood by in a yellow apron,

holding a glass of wine and looking upward.

Was it cloud pictures you saw forming and re-forming

of the last season’s rice harvest,

Richard newly sober and newly strong;

were you listening for the sky song of jigging day?

Braced against the open car door

he sang with the sky, dancing on dried hulls.

We sat on the back stairs watching the children play

while Richard carved the drumstick, the air cool

in the afternoon shade; I recall damp wood

and peeling paint soft and curving under our backsides,

the piece of sheepskin the color of the clouds

that his beautiful hands wrapped onto the drumstick.

The dog, smitten by the smell of Richard and rawhide,

nosed and kissed his hands, and slept at his feet.

Lisa, let us remember winter,

that afternoon we had a flat.

As Richard changed the tire under a sun the color of clouds

we stood behind him to cut off the icy wet wind.

“Makes me wish I had some gloves;

it’s hard on the hands,” he half-laughed in his quiet voice

as his fingers stiffened to hardwood

from the touch of that cold cold iron jack.

Later on we walked along the tracks checking snares

and I remember it like a photograph

Richard in his red plaid lumberjacket

arms crossed, hands in his armpits

you in your long dressy coat

me in my mother’s quilted jacket

and found a rabbit caught but still alive

struggling it paused then kicked, paused then kicked

“I hate when this happens,” Richard said

in his quiet voice; bending and turning away

to spare the sight of what was necessary,

mercifully and quickly tightening the wire

with his kind and sorrowing hands.

At Richard’s place, Donna made the soup

and frybread so light it danced on the plate

(we didn’t know a white girl could do that).

“What do you use, baking powder or soda?”

we aspiring Frybread Queens asked.

“I use both,” said rosy Donna,

all bashful as an Indian.

“I taught her how,” said Richard

as Donna charmed golden puffs from the stove.

Then with warmed hands the color of the frybread

and rough and graceful as the old wood table we sat at

he served us all, his elderly father first.

Feasting, we listened to Richard’s dad, veteran and elder

with Richard’s distant, husky voice

tell us about when he was in the army,

stationed in the South years ago, after the war,

and all the mixed-blood people down there.

“Good to us, the Makadewisug; always

nice to Indians, and fed us, too.

A lot of them part-Indian, themselves, you know;

treated us nice and shared their food with us.”

In the spring Richard showed us how to cut porcupine quills

under a plastic bread wrapper, with toenail clippers

so the little points wouldn’t fly up

and put out our eyes.

He made us quill necklaces light as air

that rested on our collarbones, singing his songs.

He wrote me once after I moved away

on a card he’d bought especially,

with a sketch of an Indian woman on it.

He hoped all was good and that I liked the picture

and then he moved, too,

to Minneapolis, near the Ave,

and was lost

I ran into his sister after that

and she said I wouldn’t know if I saw him

that he was killing himself drinking

Lisi-ens, sometimes I do it, too,

step out of the frame and look skyward

where for all we know it is possible

that we might see Richard

in the clouds.