That same evening, Jonathan had quite a while to wait before attempting a conversation with Caroline. In fact, he was starting to get seriously worried when a phone call had come from Emma Leadbetter, sous chef and part-time front of house person, half an hour ago to ask where Caroline was. As he heard the front door open, he strode out to the hallway, relieved and agitated to see his wife coming home.
‘Where have you been?’ She looked stressed, and tired, and her face was unusually pale. ‘Emma’s been on the phone all afternoon. It’s Gino’s night off and she’s cooking tonight, as you’d know if you’d checked the rotas, and you’re on front of house. She’s panicking she was going to have to call Gino back in and take front of house herself, especially with that conference coming in.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Caroline said. ‘I misread the rotas and thought it was my night off. And I’ve not been feeling very well.’
‘Are you OK now?’ Jonathan asked, immediately concerned. ‘I mean, can you work tonight?’
Caroline nodded. ‘I’ll be fine. I just needed some… air.’ Her gaze slid away from Jonathan’s piercing stare and nervously she walked towards the bay window of the living room.
‘What’s wrong, Caroline?’ Jonathan asked, more gently this time. ‘You’ve been a bit off for weeks now.’ He approached her, but she moved away from him. He sighed in frustration. It had been that way between them for a little while; every time he tried to get close to her, she seemed to pull further away. He was fed up with it, and he missed his wife.
‘I’m fine,’ Caroline said, but her sudden smile looked forced. ‘Honestly, I’ve just been a bit under the weather. I’ll give Emma a ring in a minute and let her know I’ll be in later.’ Her hands, which were by her sides, started to shake, and the colour drained from her face. ‘Excuse me,’ she muttered, and made a dash for the bathroom.
Jonathan let her go, still none the wiser about what was causing his wife’s odd behaviour. His heart lurched at the thought that she might be slipping back into old habits; one old habit in particular. Caroline had once been quite a heavy cocaine user, and, although that had been consigned well and truly to the past, the shadow of such an addiction seemed to haunt her from time to time. Jonathan had been sure, up until recently, that Caroline was still clean, but her behaviour was becoming more erratic, and his concern was increasing. Hearing the bathroom door opening again, he padded out to the hallway. ‘You’re not OK, are you?’ he said gently. ‘Caroline, please tell me what’s wrong.’
Caroline’s eyes were bloodshot and her pale cheeks were suddenly and unhealthily flushed. Jonathan prayed she wasn’t going to tell him she was taking drugs again. ‘Look,’ he said. ‘Come and sit down for a minute.’ Taking her hand, he led her back to the living room and they both sat down on the sofa. ‘Tell me what’s bothering you,’ he said. ‘Please.’
Caroline swallowed hard and shook her head. Unbidden, tears started to slide down her cheeks. ‘I don’t know how to tell you…’
‘Tell me what?’ Jonathan said, one hand still in hers. ‘This is me, Caroline. You can tell me anything.’
‘I’m so scared, Jonathan…’
Jonathan pulled Caroline close until her head was resting on his chest. ‘You don’t need to be scared of anything. I’m your not-quite knight in shining armour, remember?’ Once quite the playboy, when he’d met Caroline, Jonathan had fallen head over heels in love for the first time in his life.
Caroline shook her head. ‘You don’t understand.’
‘Try me.’
An age seemed to pass before Caroline drew away again and looked Jonathan straight in the eye.
‘I’ve suspected for a few weeks now, and when I started feeling sick, that pretty much confirmed it.’ She paused and then nodded as a look of dawning comprehension appeared on Jonathan’s face. ‘I’m pregnant.’
Jonathan’s mouth dropped open, and, not managing, for once, to articulate anything, he pulled Caroline towards him in a tight embrace. ‘That’s wonderful, brilliant news.’ As he released her again, he looked at her face, and her expression was far from wonderful, or brilliant. ‘Or is it? You don’t look as though it is good news.’
Caroline bit her lip. ‘Oh, no,’ she said. ‘Most of me, the part that’s not being really sick for hours each day, is completely thrilled. I can’t think of anything better for us right now. It’s just…’
‘What?’ Jonathan asked. ‘Are you worried about The Cider Kitchen? Because we can afford it. We can get a manager in for your maternity leave; it’ll be fine.’
‘It’s not that.’ Caroline moved away from him. ‘When I suspected I might be pregnant, I started looking at stuff on the internet. About how cocaine might affect things. How it might harm the baby. And I’m really scared, Jonathan. What if I’ve conceived too soon? What if the baby’s damaged by all that coke I did?’ She put her head in her hands.
Wordlessly, Jonathan enfolded Caroline in his arms. He hadn’t seen her so upset in a long time, and he didn’t know what to say. How could he reassure her of something that he himself had absolutely no answer to?
Eventually, they broke apart again, and he stared down at her. ‘That was a long time ago,’ he said gently, ‘and I’m sure that whatever effects the coke had on you, they’re in the past.’
‘What are you, a doctor now?’ Caroline sniffed.
Jonathan was relieved that a little of Caroline’s fighting spirit seemed to have returned. ‘No, darling, but I do know a thing or two about bad habits. And if you want to ask the doctor about it, I’m sure he or she would tell you there’s nothing to worry about. You’ve been clean for years now, haven’t you?’
‘Of course.’ Caroline tossed her head. ‘It’s just that, late at night, I’ve been thinking and thinking about it all, and I can’t stop worrying.’
‘I’ll come with you to the doctor, when you’re ready,’ Jonathan said softly. ‘Just to put your mind at rest.’
Caroline’s lower lip trembled. ‘Promise?’
‘Absolutely.’ Jonathan stroked away a tear from Caroline’s lashes. ‘I will always be here for you, Caroline. You know that.’ He checked his watch. ‘Except for tonight.’
‘What?’
Jonathan smiled. ‘Look, I know you don’t exactly rate my front of house skills compared to yours, but we can’t really have you throwing up all over the clientele, can we? I’ll take your shift tonight.’ He held up a hand as Caroline started to protest. ‘Emma can talk me through it. She could probably do both jobs standing on her head, but I think she’ll be better off in the kitchen tonight. You stay here and put your feet up and I’ll get away as soon as I can.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Totally.’ Jonathan helped Caroline to her feet. ‘Get in the bath and relax. I’ll see you later.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘I can’t believe we’re going to have a baby.’ Anna was going to be over the moon, he thought as Caroline disappeared upstairs. And he was, too; when he stopped being absolutely terrified.
*
At the other end of the village, having settled little Jack back down after a nightmare, Anna flopped onto the sofa next to Matthew. He lifted an arm and put it around her as she snuggled contentedly into him, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn as she did so.
‘Busy day?’ Matthew asked, absent mindedly playing with Anna’s ponytail.
‘Oh, you know, same old, same old at the tea shop,’ Anna replied. ‘Although Jonathan popped in this afternoon. He seemed a bit out of sorts about Caroline.’
‘Again?’ Matthew’s brow furrowed. ‘They’ve been bickering a lot lately. And he’s not been his usual self at all.’
‘Perhaps you should speak to him,’ Anna said. A shiver ran down her spine as Matthew’s fingers gently caressed the back of her neck.
‘He knows where I am if he needs me,’ Matthew murmured, kissing the top of Anna’s head. ‘And I think we can spend our time doing more interesting things than talking about my brother.’
Anna’s heartbeat quickened as Matthew’s voice dropped and his seductive West Country burr worked its magic. As she raised her face for a kiss, which deepened in intensity as the moments passed, all thoughts of Jonathan and Caroline fled.
‘You are so good at that,’ Anna whispered as they broke apart a little while later. She shifted on the sofa slightly so that she could look into Matthew’s eyes. Although they had rather more crow’s feet at their sides than they had when they’d first met, and his hair was more silver than black these days, he still had the ability to turn her insides to jelly and her knees to rubber.
‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ Matthew said gruffly, capturing Anna’s mouth once again. He pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him on the ancient Chesterfield sofa. ‘Early night?’ he murmured between kisses.
‘A room. Get one.’ An amused voice came from the entrance to the living room.
Springing apart, Matthew and Anna laughed. ‘We didn’t hear you come in,’ Anna said as Meredith waved sardonically from the doorway.
‘So I see,’ Meredith replied. ‘I’ll, er, make myself scarce, shall I?’
Matthew laughed. ‘No need. We’re turning in anyway.’ Getting up off the sofa as Anna shifted over again, he wandered across the living room and ruffled his daughter’s hair, as he’d been doing since she was a toddler. ‘Goodnight.’
‘It comes to something when your parents have more of a love life than you do,’ Meredith grumbled, but there was no malice in it, Anna knew. ‘Just make sure you keep it down. I wouldn’t want you waking up Ellie or Jack.’
Anna shook her head as she joined Matthew at the doorway. ‘Why do I suddenly feel like the naughty teenager?’ she said as she kissed Meredith goodnight.