I escaped from the dependent, I escaped from my mother by not going to her room, but I did not escape from myself. I ran :o my room, and came in after myself. I talked to myself, I chased after myself, I threw myself on the bed and rolled around with myself, weeping and stifling my sobs on the edge of the sheet. I swore I would not go and see Capitu that afternoon, nor ever again, and that I would become a priest once and for all. I saw myself already ordained, in front of Capitu, who would weep repentently and beg for my forgiveness, but I, cool and serene, would have nothing but contempt, cold contempt for her; I turned my back on her. I called her perverse. Twice I became aware that I was biting on my own teeth, as if I had her between them.
From my bed I heard her voice: she had come to spend the rest of the afternoon with my mother, and no doubt with me too, as she had before; but, however shaken I was, she couldn’t make me come out of my room. Capitu laughed aloud, spoke loudly, as if she was telling me she was there; I remained deaf, alone with myself and my contempt. It made me want to sink my nails into her neck, bury them deep, and watch the life drain out of her with her blood…