Escobar’s friendship became great and fruitful; that of José Dias refused to lag far behind. The next week he said to me, at home:
“It’s certain now that you’ll soon be able to leave the seminary.”
“Wait till tomorrow. I’m off to play cards with them—they’ve sent for me. Tomorrow, in your room, in the garden, or in the street on the way to mass, I’ll tell you about it. The idea is so holy that it wouldn’t look bad on the altar. Tomorrow, Bentinho.”
“But is it certain?”
“Most certain!”
The next day he unveiled the mystery. At first sight, I confess I was dazzled. It had a grand, spiritual quality which answered to my seminarist’s notions. It was nothing less than this: my mother, he thought, repented of what she had done, and would like to see me out here in the world, but thought that the moral ties of the promise bound her irrevocably. We had to break those ties, and the means was in Scripture, in the power of unbinding given to the apostles. So, he and I would go to Rome to ask absolution of the Pope … What did I think?
“I think it’s a good idea,” I replied after some seconds’ reflection, “It might be a good solution.”
“It’s the only one, Bentinho, the only one! I’ll go and talk to Dona Glória right away, today, I’ll lay it all out before her, and we can go two months from now, or before …”
“Better say something next Sunday; let me think it over first …”
“Oh, Bentinho!” the dependent interrupted. “Think what over? What you really want… Should I say it? You won’t be upset with your old friend? What you want to do is consult a certain person.”
In point of fact there were two people, Capitu and Escobar, but I flatly denied that I wanted to consult anyone. Who, anyway, the Rector? Why should I want to confide in him on such a matter? No, not the Rector, nor my teachers, nobody; I only wanted time to reflect, a week, and on Sunday I would give my reply; I could tell him now that it didn’t seem a bad idea to me.
“Doesn’t it?”
“No.”
“Then let’s make up our minds today.”
“It’s no joke, going to Rome.”
“If you’ve got the means, there’s nothing easier. In our case, money’s not lacking. Well, you might spend a bit on yourself… but not on me; a pair of trousers, three shirts, and my daily bread, that’s all I need. I’ll be like St. Paul, who lived from his trade while he preached the holy word. In my case, I’m going, not to preach it, but to seek it out. We’ll take letters from the Internuncio and the Bishop, letters for our ambassador there, letters from Capuchins … I’m quite aware of the objection that can be made; they’ll say that you can ask for the dispensation from here, from far away; but, apart from other things I’ll not mention, you only have to reflect that it is much more solemn and beautiful to see the object of the favor himself enter the Vatican, and prostrate himself at the Pope’s feet: the promised Levite, who is going to ask God’s dispensation for the sweetest and gentlest of mothers. You can picture it, you kissing the feet of the prince of the apostles; His Holiness, with an evangelical smile, leans over, asks the question, hears the answer, absolves, and blesses. The angels look on, the Virgin tells her most holy Son that all your desires, Bentinho, should be satisfied, and that what you love on earth should likewise be loved in heaven …”
I’ll say no more, because I have to end the chapter, and he did not end his speech. He spoke to all my feelings as a Catholic and a lover. I saw my mother’s soul relieved of its burden, I saw Capitu’s joyful heart, both of them at home, I with them, he with us, all by means of a little journey to Rome. I only knew where it was in geographical terms: spiritually, too, but I had no idea how far it would be away from Capitu’s desires. That was the essential point. If Capitu thought it was a long way, I wouldn’t go; but I had to know what she thought, and the same with Escobar, who would give me good advice.