| |
When we’re emptied and feeling happy, or as happy as I can possibly feel considering my lack of word count, Mary and I open our coffees and unwrap our sandwiches. The coffee is still hot, and the food is still warm. I dig into the egg and bacon sandwich. It tastes like a little bit of heaven on earth. Mary takes a small bite of her sandwich and drinks some coffee.
“Maybe we should put some clothes on like responsible adults,” she says.
“What, and ruin all the fun?” I say. “Naked is the freedom.”
“Where did you hear that one?” she asks.
“Didn’t you ever watch Rugrats in the nineties?” I say.
“I guess my daughter did,” she says. “But I never paid much attention to it. I was always studying to get ahead in the state trooper business, so I wasn’t relegated to traffic stops. That is a shitty job, believe me, especially when it involves a DUI.”
I drink some coffee and take another bite of my egg sandwich.
“I thought you slept your way to the top,” I say.
“Very funny,” she says. “I was married, remember?”
“You’re still married, Lieutenant.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
The cop gets up. Because she has a real job and can’t dilly-dally the day away like a blocked writer can, she starts getting dressed. Sometimes I find it sexy watching a great-looking woman getting dressed almost as much as I like watching her undress. It’s while she’s putting on her black panties and bra that my cell phone chimes and vibrates.
“Here we go again,” I say, sliding off the couch and putting on my pajama bottoms.
I go to the desk and grab my cell phone.
“Is it your friend again?” Mary says.
“I don’t know,” I say clicking on the text.
It reads: Why aren’t you writing something for me? I want you to dedicate your next book to me.
I read the text to Mary while I text back, Who are you? Have you been calling me? Are you a male or female?
“My advice to you as a decorated law enforcement officer who is about to be promoted to Captain, is do not engage with this person. It could be a stalker.”
A new text arrives.
Yes I called but I couldn’t speak my words. I am in awe of you and your books. I think I love you. I am a woman. I love you Martin. Dedicate your next book to me. With love.
I feel my pulse pick up and my mouth go dry. I read the text to Mary.
“Jesus, she’s a crazy woman,” she says, now fully dressed, her shoulder-length hair pinned up in the back to make it easier to wear her Stetson. “Let me see that.”
She takes my cell phone in hand and peers at the text messages, not like their words on a digital screen, but some kind of forensic evidence that must be handled with care and preserved at all costs. And maybe it is. Or it could be the work of a harmless fan. I have quite a few of them. It’s exactly how I put it to the cop.
“You’re probably right,” she says. “But there’s a decent chance she knows where you live and for certain she knows your cell phone number.”
“It’s all easily accessible on LinkedIn,” I say.
“Good old social media,” she says. “The bane of society. Well, keep an eye on things, and for God’s sake, I repeat, do not engage with this woman. You’ll just be encouraging her.”
I can’t help but smile. The sad truth is, regardless of the cop’s warnings, at a time like this, a little fan love feels pretty damned good. It gives me a bit of an emotional boost, let’s say. My guess is the cop knows this and it makes her even more anxious for me.
The cop wraps up her egg sandwich and grabs her coffee.
Approaching me, she kisses me tenderly on the lips.
“Oh Lord,” she says. “You taste like pussy.”
“Yeah, but it’s your pussy,” I say.
“True,” she says. “That makes it okay.” Then, turning and going for the door. “Tata for now. I’ll see you after work when I’m dressed in something a little more apropos.”
“Thanks for the warning,” I say. “Maybe bring your husband.”
“Haha, bestseller,” she says, opening the door and letting herself out. “You’re a real comedian. I hope your stalker shows up.” Poking her head into the still open door. “Actually, I take that back. Maybe it’s a good idea to carry your gun today.”
“Good idea, copper,” I say.
She tosses me another kiss and closes the door. I sit back down at my desk and pick up my cell phone. It’s time to text my new friend back.