When it comes to being productive, to some extent other people can be a help or a hindrance; they can either contribute towards you getting things done or they can create problems and make things difficult. The trick is to manage the hindrances and make use of the help.
Do you ask for help when you don't know how to do something or you can't cope with what needs doing? Or do you just struggle through it? Whether at work or at home, trying to do everything can leave you stressed and overwhelmed. Maybe, though, you don't want anyone to see that you're struggling; rather than look like you're incompetent, you want people to think that you know what you're doing, that you're coping and in control. Perhaps you think asking for help is a sign of weakness; that by asking for help you're admitting that you're inadequate in some way, that you lack the knowledge, skill, or experience to do something yourself.
Or, it could be that, like the participants in a series of studies in 2008, you assume that if you ask others for help they'll say no. In one of the studies, Professor Frank Flynn at Stanford Graduate School of Business and Vanessa Lake at Columbia University looked at people's estimation of how likely others were to help them out. They asked participants in the study to ask other people to do something for them: to fill in a questionnaire, to lend their mobile phone, or to show them how to get to the university campus gym (for which the students would need to walk two blocks out of their way). The study found that participants underestimated by 50% the number of people who would agree to help them.
It appears, then, that other people are more willing to help than you might think. But if you don't ask, the answer is already no!
Productive people often ask others for help, not only because they're secure enough to admit they're struggling and need help, but also because they know that trying to do everything themselves is not always the best use of their time, skills, or energy. They know that trying to cope on their own can leave them feeling overwhelmed and stressed. And then they can't do anything properly!
While there's definitely something to be said for trying to work things out and resolve an issue yourself first, struggling for hours or days before finally getting help is almost never productive. Why struggle with some technological nightmare, for example, when you know a friend or colleague who could easily sort it for you? And why try to fit in a supermarket shop in your lunch hour when you could have asked someone else you live with to pick up some bits and pieces on their way home?
Asking for help doesn't mean you're inadequate, it simply means you need support and assistance with something specific for a specific amount of time.
Don't use up your time and energy doing tasks that others may have the time and/or ability to do! Get things done properly and more easily; find someone who's got the time or is good at what you need to learn or get done and then ask for their help and guidance. Know that asking for some help with understanding something at work, for example, acknowledges the other person's knowledge and abilities. And also be aware that if the problem is an aspect of a team project or social event, you are letting other people down by not seeking help; you're not the only one affected if you refuse to seek support!
Asking for help – or simply delegating some tasks and chores – gives you more time to focus on what's most important, useful, or necessary. It can free you up to focus on what you – and maybe only you – can do well.
So, get help when you need it. If you need others to help, to give ideas, to solve problems with you, don't hesitate to draw them in. If you're in a position of authority, you can delegate; give a particular job, task, or duty to someone else so that they do it for you. Otherwise, you simply ask. Here's how:
As much as other people can be a help, they can also be a hindrance. For a start, they interrupt. They interrupt in person, by phone, by text, and by e‐mail. Their interruptions come in the form of questions, announcements, requests, and demands. They interrupt because they need information or advice or they want decisions to be made, conflicts managed, or problems solved.
Not only do their interruptions take up your time, but they break your focus, meaning you have to spend time re‐engaging your brain so that you can carry on with what you were doing.
Although they may feel like they're not in your control, interruptions can be managed. To start with, accept that interruptions will happen. Then plan for them. This means leaving gaps in your day for interruptions; maybe 10–20% of your time for interruptions and other delays.
Next, recognize that other people will interrupt you only if they know that you'll respond. The American writer Mark Twain decreed that his children could only get attention by blowing a horn in the direction of his backyard studio, and only when absolutely necessary. This might be taking things a bit far, but the principle still applies; set times that you're available to deal with other people's problems and questions. And if you know that the afternoon, for example, is your most productive time of day, don't allow yourself to be interrupted then. Put the phone on answerphone.
If someone does manage to interrupt you with a query, tell the person that you'll you get back to them at a specific time later that day when you're free to give it your full attention. But if you really can't avoid interruptions, then deal with each interruption one at a time. Give your full attention to each person and each query or problem. That way, you will be less stressed and more able to deal patiently, calmly, and fully with every person who needs your time.
Have you been taking too much responsibility for decision making? If you're in a supervisory or management position, it's inevitable that more often than not making a final choice is going to fall to you. But often, other people offload decision making onto you when, in fact, they are more than capable of making a decision themselves.
Decisions drain your time and mental energy, but how can you get others to do their fair share of decision‐making? Try this: when someone asks for your decision on something, turn it back to them. Ask: ‘What do you think would be best to do?’ Imagine, for example, that you asked someone else to decide which restaurant to go to or where and when to have a meeting. Instead of making a decision, they e‐mail you links to some possible choices for your opinion and for you to make a decision. Rather than spend time and mental energy considering the options, ask them to make a specific recommendation.
You might have a couple of conditions – standards by which something may be decided – but if you do, keep your requirements short. For example, your response might be ‘I don't mind what restaurant we go to – as long as it's not the same place we went to last week’. Or ‘As long as we can walk there’. And to a request for you to decide when to fit a meeting in, your reply might be ‘I don't mind what day the meeting is, as long as there's a clear agenda’.
By delegating the decision making, you share the responsibility with other people and free yourself from something that others are capable of doing. So, when possible, encourage others to make the decisions so that only those above a certain level of importance will come to you.
Some people use a concept known as a ‘decision tree’. This means that in the workplace, others can take responsibility for decisions at four different levels: root, trunk, branch, and leaf. Each level has a clear definition of what is expected and how to interact with each other regarding decision making. So, someone making a leaf decision doesn't have to check with anyone before making it and taking action. While a trunk decision allows a person to make the decision as long as they check with someone before going ahead.
The analogy of root, trunk, branch, and leaf indicates the impact of a decision taken at each level. A trunk decision is not necessarily more important than a leaf decision, but if a leaf falls off a tree, the tree won't suffer. An inappropriate decision at the root level, however, can cause major problems!
‘If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”’
Dave Barry. American humourist.
Does your job require you to attend a lot of meetings? Are they all really necessary? Perhaps there are times when you feel like you spend more time sitting in unproductive meetings than actually working? The answer? Leave a meeting early or don't go to it in the first place. It may be a bold move, but if you've nothing to contribute and nothing to gain, why let it use up your time and stop you from getting more important or interesting things done?
You don't need to avoid all meetings, just keep the useful ones and cut out those that aren't. How do you identify the meetings to which you will have something worthwhile to contribute or gain? Ask yourself the following questions:
It is possible to say no to a meeting. Think carefully about which ones are absolutely necessary – and which you can let go of. If you do have to go to the meeting, ask yourself these questions:
Learn to say ‘no’ to requests or tasks if you're too busy, if it is not that important, if someone else can handle it, or if it can be done later. Being able to turn other people down is a key skill that will help you manage other people's requests, demands, and interruptions. Saying no to unimportant things – unnecessary meetings or extra work – means that you can say yes to important things; the things you want to do, need doing, and that you like doing; the things that enable you to be productive.
Finally, be aware that when it comes to being productive, knowing your limits and your strengths is key to working with other people. Know your skills and strengths and make the most of them. But be aware of your limits; this means on the one hand asking for help, and on the other hand knowing when to decline other people's requests and demands.
Remember, other people can be a help or a hindrance; they can either contribute towards you getting things done or they can create problems and make things difficult. The trick is to manage the hindrances and make use of the help.