1.Jump it off something.
2.Put foot pegs on the back and give a friend a ride.
3.Ride to a bar with a friend to get a beer.
4.Ride to another bar with a friend to get another beer.
5.Stop riding it to bars before you’ve had too many beers, and/or ride it somewhere with a friend to get a taco.
6.Tell your friend about how much you love it because of a few specific things like mustache bars or specific geometry or the amount of travel in the fork or the wheel diameter and at the end of your short speech, say, “Do you want to ride it? You should, it’s awesome. Go ahead.”
7.Clear your head.
8.Enjoy going fast.
9.Enjoy going slow.
10.Ride it up hills and enjoy the pain it causes because you are getting strong or because you are imagining the giant cheeseburger you’re going to eat afterward or because it feels good to feel something after sitting at a desk all day or because it helps you forget about your breakup or your bank account or whatever.
11.Drink a whole shitload of coffee and ride down hills in the dark.
12.“Ride it off a ramp into a large body of water.” (Chris Reichel)
13.Do a wheelie.
14.Ride it to your local bike shop, where you hang out and talk to other customers and mechanics about how much you all love bikes.
15.Ride it to work and practice saying “wheeeee” on your commute instead of “goddammit, I hate traffic.”
16.Put a small stereo on it and rock out.
17.Put a large stereo on it and rock out.
18.Strap all your stuff to it and ride it across the country.
19.Strap all your stuff to it and ride it across the state.
20.Strap all your stuff to it and ride to the nearest campground.
21.Ride it to a skate park and try to do some cool shit with it.
22.Or just watch the skate park kids do some cool shit.
23.Find a mountain bike trail described as “swoopy” and ride it.
24.Find a mountain bike trail described as “technical” and try to ride it; possibly secretly enjoying picking scabs all next week.
25.Ride with a whole bunch of people, which is either a “parade” or a “gang,” depending on your aggressiveness and how many small children are riding with you.
26.Put on a bunch of fancy aerodynamic clothing and ride the hell out of your bike until you’re really tired.
27.Don’t put on a bunch of fancy aerodynamic clothing but ride the hell out of your bike until you’re really tired.
28.Ride with no hands.
29.Ride with no clothes on.
30.Ride your bike somewhere practical like the grocery store or coffee shop and enjoy not having to park a car when you get there.
31.Try a new thing (wider bars, single speed, different wheel diameter size, fully rigid, full suspension, fatbike, fixie) and realize this is what you’ve been waiting for your whole life, holy shit, let me tell you, seriously.
32.Ride it somewhere without calling it a “workout,” or using Strava, or a heart-rate monitor.
33.Or do all that stuff, you know, whatever your thing is.
34.Unclip your foot from your SPDs well before you stop so you don’t eat shit at a stoplight.
35.Have a good idea while pedaling and thinking about nothing in particular.
36.Enjoy the 360-degree view you have while riding, and congratulate yourself on saving thousands of dollars by not buying a convertible to get that same view.
37.Get on it right now (or in an hour, or after work) and ride it instead of wishing you were riding it.