THERE COMES A time in a man’s life when he needs to get his shit together—even when faced with the unyielding gaze of the woman he loves. Maintaining eye contact, Jackson put one foot in front of the other slowly. Casually. In a nonthreatening way so he wouldn’t spook her.
Natasha stood her ground. She looked amazing in a dark blue dress that brought out the bright color of her eyes. She wore the red lipstick he loved. And the shoes. Hot damn, they were sexy. The heels were high enough that they brought her at eye level with him, so if he did kiss her—not that he would at that very moment, since they both knew the consequences of their lips meeting—he wouldn’t have to bend down to reach her lips.
He stopped about a yard away, giving her the space she needed to breathe without them being too far that she couldn’t hear what he was about to say. Because what was about to come out of his mouth were the most important words in the world.
“What are you doing here, Jackson?” she asked tentatively.
“Tash, I’ve made many mistakes,” he began, keeping his eyes on her beautiful face—the face he wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life.
“Where is this going?” A knot formed on her smooth brow.
“I was so focused on winning you back, I completely forgot the most important thing,” he continued. He wanted to hold her hands, but considering how she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, it might not be the best move, so he kept his hands to himself. “I’m sorry, Tash.”
“What?” Her lips parted in shock.
“I’m sorry for breaking your heart,” he said, putting all his sincerity into those simple words. Why had it taken him that long to realize? If he could kick himself, he would.
“Jackson…”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. For all of it. And this time I want to prove to you how I feel.” His mind worked on overdrive, coming up with the plan on the fly. “Meet me at the open field by the lake Friday night. Nine o’clock.”
He began backing away, leaving her speechless. That was a good thing. He was afraid that if he said anything more, she’d bolt again. Let her think about it. The most important thing was that he’d put the plan in motion.
Nathan remained where Jackson had left him. Thank God, because he had no time to play Search for the Party Planner.
“How did it go?” Nathan asked, looking over Jackson’s shoulder. “From the looks of things, she’s frozen in place.”
“Yeah, about that…” Jackson pressed his hands together as if in prayer. “I’m going to need your help.”
“What did you do this time?”
“It’s nothing like that. I just need the services of the best party planner in the world.”
“Not quite.” Nathan raised a finger. “But getting there. What do you need from me?”
Speaking fast, Jackson laid out his plans.
* * *
Natasha had no idea what had just happened. It was like a flash of lightning that left her temporarily stunned and blinded. Jackson had just apologized to her. Simple. Straight to the point. Then he’d told her to meet him someplace and walked away.
Just as she was coming out of her shook, she noticed the strangest thing of all: Nathan leaving the gallery with Jackson. How the heck did that happen? Not a day ago her twin was all but ready to bury Jackson in the woods somewhere. And now they were friends?
Natasha was so dizzy from trying to figure out each piece of the puzzle that Jackson laid out for her that she excused herself from the art show—but not before congratulating Didi once again. She figured her presence wouldn’t be missed. Didi was entertaining all of DoCo, with Caleb proudly by her side. Natasha was happy for the both of them, but she also couldn’t deny the fact that she envied what they had.
More confused than ever, she got into her car and drove home. In her daze, it seemed like she blinked and she was already home. She definitely wasn’t thinking straight anymore. Maybe she just needed some sleep. So she went to her room and got ready for bed.
But after her shower, Natasha found herself sitting in front of her laptop, with YouTube showing all the searches for Jackson’s songs. She had always kept up with his music before he left. After Amsterdam, she’d cut him out of her life completely.
She clicked on a song he’d released before Amsterdam. It was called “Stolen.” As she listened to the upbeat dance music, her mind traveled to the first time they had kissed. They were at the WELCOME TO DODGE COVE sign the summer before their sophomore year. She remembered Jackson being so nervous that he almost missed her lips. A heavy weight settled in her chest.
When the song was over, YouTube immediately moved on to the next on the list. It was a newer song. Expecting another upbeat single, Natasha was surprised to find that “Inner Demons” was slow and sad. That was so unlike Jackson. He had always been so confident with his songs. Even if they were made for people to move to, the beats still showcased his love not only for what he did but for Natasha.
“Inner Demons” was dark, filled with longing. It called to something within her, pulling her back to those nights when she’d cried herself to sleep only to dream that Jackson had never left. And when she woke up to the reality that he really was gone, she’d find herself spiraling back down. The song somehow captured all those emotions, emotions she’d thought were felt only by her, not by Jackson.
By the time YouTube transitioned to the third song, called “Love Lost,” it became pretty obvious to Natasha that Jackson hadn’t been lying when he said that after Amsterdam he couldn’t make real music anymore. Each of his new songs were like cries for help. Like he was searching for something missing in his life.
The corners of Natasha’s eyes stung. Pretty soon tears were flowing down her face as she listened to song after song. Even when he was writing sad songs, it was clear that Jackson never once forgot about her. That even if he’d left to pursue his dream, she was always with him in the rhythm and beats he played every night for the horde of fans who enjoyed his work.
She was supposed to be happy, right? Happy that without her, he couldn’t write a single worth a damn. She should be. Instead Natasha’s heart was breaking for him. For the past six months, he had been miserable. Just like her. Even apart, they still were somehow in sync with each other.
Then the playlist switched to an older song. His first single with a music video, in fact. It had been viewed over a hundred million times. The fun beat was the perfect first-date song, which made sense, because he’d written it after his first date with Natasha: a drive-in movie by the lake. The stars were shining. Couples were snuggled together in their cars. The lake was calm and beautiful in the distance. It was the best first date.
As the song finished, Natasha clicked Pause. The video ended with Jackson looking straight at the camera. He was cradling his headphones between his shoulder and ear, and his hands were spread over the soundboard before him. The instant Natasha looked into those piercing golden eyes she knew: She was still in love with him. Unfortunately. Damn it.