Chapter Fourteen: It’s An UnfoRETTAble Life

  1. 1. Don’t judge. I am a human person.

  2. 2. I might as well treat it like a real person since it’s my most passionate relationship at the moment.

  3. 3. #ThisIsJustCompleteAndUtterNonsense

  4. 4. I’m using a fake profile name to protect the innocent.

  5. 5. This was more than four years ago so I didn’t have that many followers at the time.

  6. 6. Dark Magic is a coffee distributed by Green Mountain. See chapter 2.

  7. 7. I posted it when I got home. Don’t tweet and drive, kids.

  8. 8. There’s no comment section in this book, haters! Nanh nanh nuhnanh nanh! Also, this book was written before he won and before I took more of a political stand on social media.