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"You might want to tell them what to pack," CJ suggested with an evil grin at Wallie.
He flushed with embarrassment, then said, "Personal toiletries, two pairs of solid shoes, nightwear, and underwear. We provide everything else. And you ladies, uh, Miss Keller, you'll want to make sure your undergarments have extra support." His eyes grew big, and he headed for the door, yelling on his way out, "I'll see you at boot camp!"
"What sent him running?" Harry asked Matt.
Matt grinned and pointed to the women. They all wore angry expressions.
"He called me a lady," CJ complained.
"He implied I'm built like a man," Sady grumbled.
"Yeah, well, he just called me fat," Amanda fumed.
"Let's try to keep our focus, shall we?" Harry stupidly suggested.
"I hope he has sunblock and a helmet for you," Amanda snapped, referring to Harry's baldness. "If not, you're going to have a hard time keeping focused. But I'll be happy to lend you an extra support bra if it makes you feel better!"
"Hey, Harry? Cut it in half and let me use a piece, will you?" Matt laughed. Sady covered her mouth to hide her reaction to the mental picture of Matt and Harry each with a bra cup on their heads at boot camp.
"Good one, Stubbles," Amanda laughed. Then her brows dropped. "I'll pack a sheer one just for you and Harry to share. I hope you both get torched." She turned to CJ and asked, "Well, when does the mission to hell start?"
"Just after lunch," CJ smirked. "After all, you don't have to worry about packing much." She ignored Amanda's snort of disgust.
Sady bit her lip and whispered to Matt, "I'm not so sure I trust Wallie to provide everything I'll need."
He grinned. "Sassafras, it isn't a spa, a hotel, or a beauty contest, so don't count on fancy shampoo and lotion. He'll throw you a rubber band and tell you to put up your hair."
Sady looked offended and squeaked in dismay. "A rubber band? Is he serious? Do you know how much damage one of those can do to my hair? If he thinks I'm going to spend the next few months growing out the broken strands and going for endless trims, he's got another thing coming!"
CJ raised a brow at Matt. "Is she serious?" He nodded, and CJ said, "Well, you might want to bring your own hair thingy, then, because it's gonna be hot and you will want your hair off your neck."
Sady and Amanda both made notes on extras to take while CJ looked on with a grin at Harry. "Aren't you glad I'm not high maintenance?" she asked him.
"Who says you're not?" he teased. Then, "Just kidding!" when she reached for his neck. CJ's pinching fingers could have a grown man on his knees and begging for mercy in seconds, as Harry well knew. He turned to Matt and asked, "Do you think you can have those two ready by noon?"
Matt frowned and protested, "Now just a minute! How did I get stuck with Amanda as well?"
"Because I'm bringing the booze," Amanda replied.
"Uh, Amanda, the camp is dry," Harry warned her.
She grunted. "It won't be when I'm done with it. Come on, Sady. Let's go pack and make sure we bring our own necessities. Stubbles, don't drop my bag when you're carrying it or the camp really will be dry."
Harry peered at Matt. "I'm counting on you to check their bags and make sure they don't over pack," he said.
Matt laughed in his face. "Nope, not on your life, or more likely, mine."
"For once I agree with him," Amanda said turning her snapping eyes to Harry. "And if we find the murderer, I want a shot at him before we turn him over to the authorities. This isn't my idea of a job!"
"That's no surprise. News flash, Amanda- chasing men and bar hopping don't qualify either," Matt announced. "Now let's get going."
After they left Harry and CJ had a good laugh. "Poor Matt! Trying to prevent those two from over packing will be as difficult as getting Amanda through the obstacle course."
***
Sady held up two bras and asked Matt, "Which one?"
"Neither," he told her, and she frowned.
"Now's not the time for games, Matt. I'm serious," she huffed.
"So am I!" he said defensively. "Don't you have anything without lace and strings? Not that I'm complaining here at home, but I guarantee you'll want something more substantial once we get there." He looked through her lingerie and pulled out two sports bras and regular briefs. He held up the underwear and asked, "Do these ride up?" She laughed, and he said, "I'm serious. You won't be a happy camper if you spend the day running in a thong." Sady grabbed the granny panties and sports bras with a shake of her head.
"I'm marking this day on the calendar. My husband picked the least sexy items in my lingerie drawer for me to wear," she teased.
"That's because you'll want to burn them once we finish this job," he responded with twinkling eyes. "Then its sexy lingerie for the rest of my life." Loud pounding on the door caused him to lift his eyes in exasperation. "Gee, I wonder who that is?" he asked sarcastically as Sady pushed by him to open the front door for Amanda.
Amanda looked at Sady's bag and asked, "Is that all you're taking?"
Sady gave Matt a dirty look. "It's all he'll allow."
Amanda studied Matt. "Where's your bag? Or did you just put on all your underwear so you can peel them off one at a time?" Matt lifted a small bag with a grin, and Amanda said, "Good. Now you can carry my suitcases." Before Matt protested, she turned and flounced out the door while Sady laughed and he scowled.
"You can always take Harry's suggestion," she joked.
"Oh, hell, no! I am never looking through that woman's luggage," Matt shuddered. "It's bad enough that I have to carry it. I have no desire to discover what's inside." They followed Amanda to the elevator. Sure enough, two suitcases waited by her door. Matt didn't bat an eye as he picked them up and took them to his truck where he loaded them along with his small bag.
They met at the Knight's house. "How many?" Harry mouthed to Matt. Matt raised his brows and two fingers. Harry whispered, "CJ's going to have a fit."
"Yeah, well, don't tell her until it's too late to leave them here," Matt suggested. "Because I'll have to listen to Amanda gripe for the whole trip, plus I'm hoping she really did pack some booze. But you didn't hear that from me." He waved when CJ came out with her small bag, and Harry stopped her from checking Matt's truck.
"We'll follow you," Matt told him, as Harry shoved the protesting CJ into their SUV.
By the time they arrived at boot camp, CJ's suspicion meter redlined and she jumped from SUV and marched to the truck. She saw Amanda's bags and gave Matt a disapproving look. "I'm holding you responsible," she declared before heading to the office to check in.
"Of course, you are," he replied sourly as he got out of the truck to look around.
"Hey, Handsome," Amanda yelled to Harry. "Where on the map is this God-forsaken place, anyway?"
"It's not," Harry said.
"So there's no taxi service?" Amanda asked. "Bus station, train station, bike rental?" Harry shook his head, and Amanda turned to Sady. "We're going to die here, Sady. In a compound, in the middle of an uncivilized wilderness. And when they find our bodies and we finally make the national news? We'll be nothing but rotting corpses." She grabbed Harry by the front of his shirt. "My family is expecting an open casket funeral, so you better have let someone know where we are so they can find our bodies soon, or that mortician is gonna have a helluva week trying to put me together for the service after the wildlife are done with me!"
Sady looked around the compound with a slightly fearful expression on her face. It resembled a movie studio bare bones Army camp. Matt elbowed her and asked, "What were you expecting? A pillow top mattress?"
"Matt, that RV Amanda rented was like a high end hotel compared to this place. It looks abandoned," she whispered. "Where is everyone? Where's the grass?" The camp appeared empty and Sady noticed several rough wooden buildings scattered about the hard-packed dirt in the main area. Beyond the buildings lay fields of weeds, and trees.
"Everyone is out on a hike," CJ said from behind, causing Sady to jump. She gave Sady a sheet of paper. "Bunk assignment and schedule." She had a sheet for everyone in the group.
Amanda looked from her paper to the bunkhouse numbered five. "Either someone around here doesn't know how to count, or I've been given the wrong assignment," she said. "Because that sure as hell isn't a bunkhouse. I know, because I've seen them in movies. This thing looks more like one of those..." She stopped and one brow rose as a group of sweaty, dirty, half-dead people staggered by. Then she turned to CJ suspiciously.
"Yes, those are the hikers," CJ confirmed.
"Well, it's a good thing that I don't hike," Amanda said. "It's against my religion."
Matt snorted. "What religion is that?"
"I'm a devout self-preservationist," Amanda announced.
"Amen, Sister Amanda," Sady said, moving to stand by her side.
"Then I guess bunkhouse five is where the religious folks are gathering," CJ smirked. "Go have your prayer session and be back in fifteen minutes."
Matt and Harry headed to a bunkhouse on the other side of the compound. "Hey, Stubbles," Amanda yelled. "You forgot my bags."
"No, I didn't," came the reply.
Sady and Amanda exchanged looks of worry and horror as they each took one of Amanda's suitcases to the bunkhouse. It was primitive inside. The bunks had paper thin mattresses, with Army surplus blankets folded at the end, along with a threadbare sheet and a flat pillow. Two hard wooden chairs and a bare wood table stood at one side of the building. An oil lamp sat in the middle of the table. There were two old chests, each holding a stack of neatly folded clothes. A curtain pulled across one corner of the room revealed a camp style commode, with a roll of toilet paper, and a bottle of hand sanitizer.
Sady stared at Amanda. "This is the best technology available?"
Amanda lowered her head and looked at Sady from the corner of her eyes. "Is it just me, or am I the only one who sees no kitchen, no electricity, no running water, no privacy, no sanity? Who decided it was a good idea to pay for the punishment of living like this? Why don't they just send their money to a charity to help people who have to live like this? I just voted myself off this sinking ship." She grabbed her bags and headed for the door.