Even though Abby, 18, was the only black girl in her circle of friends, she never felt like her skin color set her apart—until she came face-to-face with an ugly attitude.
As told to: Kierna Mayo
I’d been looking for an after-school job for months to help save up for college, so I was super-excited to start my first day as a hostess at a trendy restaurant. I felt really lucky because my friend Becca offered to train me as her replacement after she quit to focus on school. When we got to the restaurant, I stood at the hostess stand and memorized the menu. It wasn’t required, but I wanted to make a good impression when the manager arrived. I’d never met him and really wanted him to like me.
Fifteen minutes later, the manager walked in and things got weird. “Hi, I’m Abby,“ I said, reaching out to shake his hand. He paused, barely touching me. Awkward. I wondered what could be wrong. I thought maybe he was just upset about Becca leaving. Then he asked to speak to her privately. Something just didn’t feel right, but I told myself it would all be fine.
I was so wrong. Becca came back gasping and crying hysterically. “He said he won’t hire you because you’re black!” she blurted out.
Suddenly, I felt like there was a whirlwind around me. I just stood there, stunned, unable to grasp what she was saying. “He’s afraid he’ll lose business when customers see you at the counter,” she continued. I didn’t feel anything—not anger, sadness, or fear. All I could think was, Is this really happening?
FINDING THE COURAGE
Race has never been an issue for me, even though there aren’t many black people in my hometown. Everyone is totally open-minded; that’s why I couldn’t believe I had actually been so blatantly discriminated against. I’m the only black girl in my circle of friends, but no one treats me differently. I’ve known my best friends, Lily, Irene, Becca, and Alice, for years—they’re like my sisters.
It was all so confusing to me that I didn’t know what to do. I’m a pretty quiet person and I don’t like to draw attention to myself. On our way home, Becca went from crying to being pissed. “You have to fight this,” she said. When I told Lily, Irene, and Alice, they told me to fight too. Part of me wanted to forget the whole thing, but my friends’ anger made me realize I had to stand up for myself and for anyone else who could be in a similar situation. Alice’s dad is a lawyer, and he took my case for free! We filed a lawsuit for discrimination and a violation of my civil rights.
BANDING TOGETHER
As word spread around school, everyone asked how to help. It was crazy to see how many people cared. All of a sudden, girls who had never spoken to me asked me if things were okay. I wasn’t used to being the topic of so much conversation. It was like everyone was rooting for me. A few weeks later, Lily mentioned staging a protest to make more people aware. “Let’s not make it a big thing,” I said, resisting. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was upsetting our peaceful town. But once again, my friends had my back, and I felt braver with their support.
To let people know the plan, we sent out text messages and created a Facebook Event group. On the day of the protest, about 20 people met up at my house, made posters, then walked over to the restaurant where even more kids met us. Up until the last minute I felt like a wimp, but I was relieved and exhilarated that we were actually taking a stand. People were honking in support as they drove by; it was so powerful to see! The restaurant manager even came outside and talked to my lawyer and to the police who were there. But we had done our research and knew that as long as we didn’t block the entryway, we were legal. There was nothing he could do to stop us. That day, I knew I was making a difference.
FIGHTING FAIR
The restaurant denied discriminating against me, but I know how terrible it felt to be judged by my skin color, and I wanted to do whatever I could to stop this from happening again. After about a year of back-and-forth, my lawyer and I settled the case with the restaurant for $25,000—more than I would have made by working there. I’m using some for college and saving the rest. My real reward, though, was when the owners were issued a permanent court order saying they could not discriminate.
My friends got me through a situation I never imagined I’d be in and encouraged me to take action. Together we made a difference. When something happens that isn’t right, having friends behind you makes you so much stronger. It’s when you look over and see people standing with you that you know you’ll have the strength to stand up for yourself.
What If It Happens to You?