To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified (Isaiah 61:3 NASV).
If you’re like me, there are probably many things in your past that you aren’t proud of. Since I spent thirty-seven long years without God, you can imagine how much trouble I managed to get myself into. I was extremely wounded from my childhood, young, attractive, self-centered and very volatile. When I look back, I cringe at the memories of the path I chose and ask God, “Why, oh why, didn’t You rescue me sooner? Before I hurt so many people, myself included? Before I ruined lives and created so much regret?” Even though I know Jesus has forgiven me of all of it, I often battle tremendous guilt over some of the things I’ve done. Yet God not only forgives, He forgets. Boy, do I praise Him for that! I just wish I could forget sometimes.
Yet, it occurred to me lately that unless I had suffered through those years without God, there’s no way I could write the type of stories I write, there’s no way I could write the type of characters I write about: broken, sinful, wounded, self-centered, vain, desperate characters. I began to wonder if God had allowed me to fall so far into the pit just for that purpose. He always had a hold of the rope, but as long as I was willing to keep moving downward, He was going to let me, because in His divine knowledge, He already knew that He wanted me to be a writer. Not only that, He already knew exactly the type of stories He wanted me to write so that He could reach people He’d already chosen to read them so that they would grow closer to Him.
Mind-boggling, isn’t it? God’s incredible wisdom and knowledge astound me. I also realized that even my difficult childhood was a part of God’s plan, because without that, I wouldn’t have fallen so deep and drifted so far from God. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying it was God’s will for me to wander away from Him or to sin, but I am saying that He knew I would, and He’d already devised a plan to use my mistakes for His glory. Amazing!
Remember Joseph? His brothers hated him and sold him as a slave to a band of Egyptians. Yet, years later, after seeing God’s providence in all that had happened, Joseph was able to say:
But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive (Genesis 50:20 NKJV).
How often do we complain about our bad childhood, or our abusive friends, our illnesses, poverty or other tragedies that have happened to us, when in reality, if we would only trust God, we would eventually see that He has a good plan in the end?
So, whether your past is filled with tragedies, difficulties or sin, or all of the above, rest assured, if you hand it all over to God, He can use it for your good and His glory. So, seek God’s forgiveness, learn from your past and ask God to show you your glorious future!
MaryLu Tyndall