We had a great feast yesterday for the Holy Name of Jesus;1 may God reward you. I don’t know what to send you for all you do for me except these carols I composed, for my confessor2 gave me orders to bring some happiness to the sisters. I spent the past evenings with them, and I didn’t know how to bring them joy except with these. They have a delightful sound—it would be nice if Francisquito3 could sing them. See if I’m not making good progress! Nonetheless, the Lord has granted me many favors during these days.
I am amazed by those He is granting you. May He be blessed forever. I understand why devotion is desired, which is good. It is one thing to desire it and another to ask for it. But I believe that what you are doing is the best. Leave it all to God and leave your interests in His hands. He knows what is fitting for us, but always strive to journey along the path I wrote you about. Realize that it is more important than you think.
It wouldn’t be bad when at times you wake up with those impulses of love of God to sit up in bed for a while; always being careful though that you get the sleep your head needs (for unawares you could end up incapable of prayer). And be careful and try not to suffer much cold, for the cold is not good for the pains in your side. I don’t know why you want those terrors and fears, for God is leading you by love. They were necessary back then. Don’t think it is always the devil who impedes prayer, for God in his mercy sometimes takes it away. And I am inclined to say that this is almost as great a favor as when He bestows much prayer; and this for many reasons that I do not have time to tell you now. The prayer God gives you is incomparably greater than thinking about hell, and you wouldn’t be able to do so even if you desired. And don’t desire to do so, for there is no reason for it.
Some of the responses of the sisters4 made me laugh. Others were excellent, for they gave me light on the subject, for don’t think that I know the meaning. I didn’t do any more than mention to you haphazardly what I will speak to you about the next time I see you, God willing.
I was amused by good Francisco de Salcedo’s response. His humility is in a sense strange. God so leads him with fear that it could even seem to him wrong to speak of these matters in this way.5 We have to accommodate ourselves to what we see in souls. I tell you he is a holy man, but God is not leading him along the road he is leading you. Indeed, He is leading him as He does the strong, and us as He does the weak. The response was long for someone of Francisco’s temperament.
I just now read your letter again. I hadn’t understood that you wanted to get up during the night, as you say, but thought you just wanted to sit up in the bed. I thought that was already a lot, for it is important not to go without sleep. In no way should you get up no matter how much fervor you feel, and even less so if you can sleep. Don’t be afraid of sleep. If you could hear what Fray Peter of Alcántara said in this regard, you wouldn’t be afraid of going to sleep, even if you had become wide awake.
Your letters do not tire me, for they console me greatly, and I would be consoled if I were able to write more frequently. But I have so much correspondence that I cannot write more often, and even tonight my prayer has been impeded by this work. This doesn’t cause me any scruple, only regret at not having time. God gives it to us that we might always spend it in His service, amen. . . .
Your honor’s unworthy servant,
Teresa of Jesus
— To Don Lorenzo de Cepeda, Avila