Chapter 6
“Fantasy, I swear, all we do lately is pig out.” Nick picked up a rib covered with sauce and took a huge bite. He licked his lips and talked through the mouthful. “I came over here just to drop off the research. You could have at least warned me that you had picked up the entire takeout menu from Mert’s. All this binge eating is not for me. I know I’m your best friend, but I’m not commiserating with whatever it is you are going through with food. I’ll do anything else, but this sort of makes me feel a little funny. A little girly.”
Fantasy giggled. She had to admit that she did have Nick agreeing to some things that could appear to be a little on the feminine side. “Nick, I’m sorry. I know that you are all man, and not because I’ve slept with you, but because I know you and what you like.” She reached over the chicken, hot links, and ribs, picked up the container of potato salad and plopped some on her plate.
“I mean, last week we were curled up on the sofa watching Waiting to Exhale and eating Godiva chocolate cheesecake. I went to the mall with you to pick out some intimate apparel. Dag, girl, I’m trying to stay in touch with my mack. We’ll have to marry each other because no one else will want us.”
“What you talking about, Nick? We are hot commodities. Dee is sweating you daily, and if I were interested I’m sure I could enter the dating game,” she stated flatly, and stabbed a hot link with her fork.
“Okay. I’m going to ask you to step away from the food. You are overdosing on soul food. Sweetie, you don’t even normally eat this much.” He rubbed her arm as she placed a forkful of baked beans into her mouth.
“I know; I don’t know what’s up with me. This has been going on for a few weeks and I can’t make any sense of my actions, reactions, or anything. Maybe it’s some type of hormonal imbalance.”
“Okay, I’m not listening.” Nick covered his ears and started to sing. “La, la, la. La, la, la.”
“Nick, stop acting silly. Seriously, I don’t know. I plan to check it out when I return from Chicago. Right now, there’s something else I want to tell you.”
“As long as it doesn’t include talk of your sexual escapades or what you’re doing to substitute for what’s missing.” He leaned back against the cushion of the sofa, too full to eat another bite. He was making light of it all, but he was a little worried about Fantasy. Nick knew that she hadn’t been feeling her best. Then there was this emotional rollercoaster. It was just so unlike her. It went without saying that he’d do whatever he could to figure out what was going on.
“Well, it has nothing to do with the present, but everything to do with the past,” Fantasy said.
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“I took Kam’s advice and created a Facebook account,” Fantasy started. She crossed her legs and rocked her left bare foot back and forth. She was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and an orange fitted tank.
“I knew that. We talked about it right after you created your profile, remember?”
“Yes, I remember sharing that with you.” Fantasy sighed. “There’s more. I was surfing around the other night on the page of an old college friend and I stumbled upon Victor.” She looked around the room as if someone other than Nick had heard her revelation.
“Victor Charles?” Nick questioned. This was not their first conversation about Victor Charles, but it had been years since she had even brought him up. The first time had been a year after he and Fantasy became friends.
“Yes, that Victor. Anyway, I went back and forth and before I knew it I’d sent him a message.” Fantasy stood up, walked over to the fireplace mantle, and rubbed her fingers over the framed graduation photo of Kam. The day he’d taken the photo was only one of the many happy moments in her life. He had brought her so much joy and happiness. “I wanted to see if he was going to respond.” She turned back around. “I just wanted to know what he would say to me after all this time.” She went back over to where Nick reclined, and positioned herself in the oversized side chair. Fantasy folded her hands in her lap and tried to pull herself away from the light. She wasn’t Carol Anne, but she knew somebody should be warning her to walk away from the light.
Nick said nothing, but focused his full attention on what she was saying. His sense of humor wasn’t needed; what was needed was a listening ear. He knew that Victor surfacing was a throwback that had to have Fantasy’s mind reeling. Sure, she’d told him on more than one occasion that it was over and that ship had sailed. She had even gone so far as to thank God for delivering her from that situation and allowing her to get over the love. He went to church right alongside her and gave praise with her, but every now and then there was something in her eyes that kept the memory of Victor alive. He just never wanted to tell her he still saw it. “Nick, after all this time . . . It was a déjà vu moment. I feel like I opened up a Pandora’s box, and good common sense is saying to close the darn thing up.”
“Well, what did he say?” He was trying to wait for her to get to that point. It was taking her a minute and he needed to know.
“That he had thought of me throughout the years. He confessed that he was naïve and dumb, and that things had ended badly. He apologized, and what was shocking was that the entire premise of the message sounded like he expected me to forgive him. He even said something about keeping in touch.” Fantasy threw her hands up in the air in mental defeat.
“Fantasy, you had to expect him to say all that. I mean, if that’s been on his mind all these years, he was likely relieved to finally be able to say those two little words.” He eyed her and watched her left eyebrow arch. “I’m just saying, Fantasy. I’m a man and we do some stupid stuff, but once the smoke settles and reality kicks our butt, we have a need to want to make things right.”
“Nick, what he did was hurtful. I mean, going back to Sonya was one thing, but me finding out that they were getting married from everyone else but him . . .” She sat back. “It may not have felt any better coming from him, but it definitely tore me apart hearing it from our circle. There was no way I wouldn’t have found out. Victor knew that.”
“Fantasy, he probably didn’t know how to tell you.” Nick received the same raised eyebrow from his friend. He had to take the hard looks if he was going to help her find a level of sanity where at least some of what had happened would make sense, and, even more, a level where what was happening between the two was rational.
“I crept around in secret, meeting him off campus in the wee hours of the morning like some no-class, low-budget hussy. All because he needed time to dissolve things with Sonya. But there was the promise that he was going to end things with her, and that was what I held on to. It just never happened, and I don’t think he ever intended for it to end.” She fell deeper into the pit of what had occurred between them. “I listened to him talk about her. Even though I knew she was a trifling nobody, I never badmouthed her. And what did I get? He didn’t even have the decency to tell me personally that he was going to marry her.”
“I get it.” Nick didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to console his friend. This pain was preexisting and it had lasted twenty-one years; what could he say to that? How could he help her fix it? She was supposed to be delivered from it and was a better person because she experienced the heartbreak. All of what she expressed was a mirage. He had known it then, and it was especially true now. He moved from the sofa to the ebony table centered on the ultra-modern printed rug. Nick reached over, and Fantasy fell into his arms and cried silently.
Neither of them spoke for more than thirty minutes. The silence and the heaviness that loomed over them said it all. She was still hurting. It was a door she’d opened with no clue that she would come face-to-face with something that she had not resolved. He felt her ache with every labored breath she took.
Finally, when no more tears would come and Fantasy knew she had made a complete fool of herself, she moved away from Nick and wiped her eyes with her fingertips. He was her best friend and she could be real. But even with Nick she always held it together. She was always strong. There was never a sign of weakness that anyone could see when they looked at her. It had been that way when she stood stone-faced in front of her mother’s dead body. It remained when they lowered Valerie in the ground that cold, cold winter day. That chill in her soul stayed; it had remained until Victor.
“I’m good. In fact, I’m better than good, and I know exactly what I will say to Command Chief Master Sergeant Victor Charles.” Fantasy wiped the rest of the tears away.
“I’m glad you are cool.” Victor looked at her cockeyed. He even slid back a little, just in case this was the cool before she blew and her temper erupted like a volcano. “Fantasy, baby, honey. What do you have planned? And, keep in mind, I don’t look good in a jumpsuit, and while I like being restrained, it’s for entertainment purposes only.”
Fantasy laughed through the residue of pain. “I know; you are such a freak.”
“And game recognizes game.” Nick joined her laughter.
“Well, after all this time, maybe finding Victor is a stroke of luck. It would be a shame not to give him the opportunity to make amends. And it would be a shame this time around not to turn the tables.”
“What are you saying?” Nick quizzed, although he had an idea where she was going with this.
“Two can play. And since he is one up, it’s my turn.” She laughed heartily and, after a second, it sounded a little wicked.
Nick watched wide-eyed and prayed that her head didn’t start spinning. Love could make you do some crazy things and it could carry you to a place you would never dare go on your own. He continued to look at Fantasy, and knew she was already at that place.