Chapter 8

“Thank you, Doc. I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ve just been having a few aches and pains here and there. I finally decided not to ignore it any longer, but to come on over and have it checked out.” Victor was sitting on the examination table, going over his symptoms with one of the doctors on staff at the base’s medical facility.

“I’m sure everything is fine, Chief. But, in the meantime, I’m going to give you something a little stronger for the acid reflux. The nausea really shouldn’t be a daily occurrence. But the acid reflux itself is a pretty common illness for someone in a high-ranking position like you. I guess you can say a certain amount of stress comes with the territory.” The balding doctor wrote on his prescription pad.

“Don’t I know it,” Victor spoke up. “This assignment has been a blessing, but it has not been without its challenges. I’m reminded, though, that success often comes at a cost.”

“Yes, but that cost shouldn’t be your health. You must learn to work smart. That’s the key to longevity. Learning to work smart does not include the description you gave me of your typical day.” He ripped the paper he wrote on from his pad. “I’m also going to give you something to help you rest. Now, don’t fuss, but take it when you have had an extremely long day, or if you’ve had a stressful day. It will, hopefully, help your body balance.”

“I don’t think I’ll be taking that, but go ahead and write the prescription.” Victor didn’t want to tell the doctor that what he needed to relieve his stress was not at the pharmacy. There was one way he loved to enjoy relieving his stress and it included a woman he could call his own. Now that he had no wife and no one in the wings waiting to be Mrs. Charles, there was a measure of physical frustration. He was praying more and hoping that one day things would change.

“Also, Chief, I’d like to order a few tests. Again, nothing to worry about. I’m just concerned about your lack of energy, your sleeping habits, the nausea, and the dizziness. I’ll write an order for what I’d like them to do and you can go over tomorrow to get it all taken care of.”

“I have a few morning meetings.” Victor began to mentally go over his calendar for the next day. After the doctor recapped all the symptoms that he had shared, he was a little more concerned than before. It hadn’t seemed like he was dealing with so much, since the symptoms rarely bothered him at the same time.

“It’s an order.” The doctor smiled. He didn’t want to sound alarmed. Years of practice and patient observation were alerting him that a few things were not adding up, and he wanted to be able to dismiss his theory.

“I guess I can arrange to miss the meetings.” Victor stood up. “Thanks for squeezing me in.”

“No problem at all. Make sure you get these filled right away.” The doctor stood up and extended his hand. “It’s good meeting you, Chief Charles.”

“You too, sir. Have a great day.” Victor left the examination room. As he walked out of the facility, he exchanged smiles and pleasant nods until he was outside the medical office. His job to be all smiles and jovial wasn’t always easy. His position and status on the base called for him to be just that. It sort of went along with the stripes and bars he wore.

Once he walked outside he looked around. It was a better-than-average day. Usually the temperature was on the cool side, but it was actually warm today. The sun felt good against his face as he lifted up his head. He thought about the message he’d received from Fantasy on Friday night. He had quickly replied, but didn’t expect a message back soon since she had mentioned that she would be getting into town late Saturday night. Still, her message made him smile. In a nutshell, she had shared that she was willing to listen to him. They would be arranging a time to talk on the phone and he was looking forward to it. It may have seemed like a small accomplishment to some, but this had been years in the making and he couldn’t wait. He almost wanted to go out and buy a new pair of jeans to wear for the occasion, but it was a call and she would not be seeing him. Victor laughed to himself. This woman already had him gone. What he was sure she didn’t know was that he was still in love with her. He had always loved her, and as the years had gone by he was so aware of the love he still harbored.

He gave Sonya so much and went to great lengths, and yet he was never able to give himself completely. Out of loyalty and his personal commitment to his marriage and his daughter, he would have never taken an out. He would have stayed miserable and unhappy: a small price to honor his vows. But her cheating and lack of commitment came to an ugly head. He was forced out, and once he was safely on the other side, safely in the divorce zone, life was already orchestrating the next phase. While there had seemed to be nothing in store for him, no silver lining in sight, out of the blue, along came Fantasy. It had to be a sign that things were going to get better.

Once Victor got in his car, he removed his cell phone from the holder on his waist. He called the office and waited for his assistant, Marie Lopez, to pick up. “Good morning, this is Chief Charles. Do I have any messages?”

“No. Everything is quiet on the work front,” Lopez answered.

“I checked my BlackBerry, and, according to what I see here, I don’t have any meetings for the rest of the day. Is that correct?” Victor was direct, and hoped that she would spend extra minutes recapping what he already knew.

“Affirmative, sir. Your afternoon is all clear,” Lopez responded.

“Well, I’m going to do something I rarely do. I’m taking the rest of the day off.” Victor wasn’t exactly sure when he had decided to take the day off. He wasn’t feeling up to par and maybe a day of rest would do him good. He’d hit the assignment floor running and had been at one speed since he’d walked into his office. Unfortunately, from what the doctor said, that speed had been high. Truthfully, he may have burned himself out. He came straight from a hectic assignment in northern Virginia, ended his marriage, and relocated overseas all in the span of one year.

“Sir, are you okay?” Lopez asked out of concern. “I know you had a medical appointment.” She respected Chief Charles a lot and thought he was a great boss. She knew a lot about him both professionally and personally. After all, Lopez had been his assistant since his arrival there. What he didn’t know was that she was attracted to him. The problem was that she knew better than to cross the line just like that. He lived in a glass house and she didn’t even want to chance sneaking around to see him. Not that he would. From the time he’d assumed his post he had shown no interest toward any woman. No one called his office other than his daughter and, on a few occasions, his ex-wife. The calls from the ex ended almost before they began. Lopez knew because she had timed each call he received from her.

As far as she could tell, and from the way he carried himself, she didn’t peg him to be a down-low brother. She assumed that he was just driven and focused on his job and career. There was nothing wrong with that, but he had to be lonely. Maybe one day, if there was an opening for such a conversation, she would quiz him and, who knew; if there was a will, there had to be a way. He was a beautiful brown specimen of a man and sexy didn’t begin to describe him. Marie was willing to take whatever he offered, figuring Chief Charles was worth the wait.

Every day she made sure she was at her desk ten minutes early just to inhale his fragrance as he walked by her desk. He would often linger over her desk to ask a question or review something, giving her a chance to relish in the nearness of him. She knew she had to take it slow and make her moves cautiously if she was to be the next woman in his bed.

Marie couldn’t help but fantasize about a life with him. She would have no problem leaving her struggling life behind and living in the wealth that he could afford her. She was confident that once he sampled what she had to offer he would be hooked, and the rest would be history.

“I’m fine. Just planning to do a little work from home and rest. I’ll see you in the morning. If something comes up, feel free to call me. Have a good day.” Victor clicked off his phone. He thought about calling Darryl to see if his schedule was open long enough to hang out and play a little racquetball. Then again, he remembered that his purpose for being off was to relax.

With that mental reminder, Victor decided that he would pick up the prescriptions, grab a few things from the grocery store, and go directly to his apartment. It wasn’t exactly the brightest spot in his life, and it was far from home in décor and feel, but he made the best of it.

Living in a lavish 5,200-square-foot space could really spoil anyone. Victor had spent so much time picking out and purchasing a home in the last two places they had lived. From the onset, his primary goal had not been to just pick out a house with certain amenities, but he was focused on creating a home for them. With little help from Sonya he had decorated both homes and was proud of all he had done. There was a little sadness in leaving their home in Ohio, but once they settled in northern Virginia, the new residence they’d purchased screamed home in no time. Even though Niya was away at Duke more than she was at home, she added her touches to their northern Virginia residence. It wasn’t long before the two felt at home, although Sonya remained slightly detached from the house and from them.

Victor wanted to believe that it was a phase, something she’d go through and return to a better state of mind from. Maybe she would be even better than in the beginning. The truth was that she never did come back. His wife, the mother of his child, was more comfortable in the arms of the man she had seen off and on for all the years they had been married. At least he could say it had not been several men, a point Sonya had boasted about, as if you could boast about any form of infidelity. It didn’t matter that Victor had only competed with one man for his wife’s affection. In the end he had lost and the other guy won.

Victor put all the groceries away and changed, putting on a pair of gym shorts and a T-shirt. He elected to do some cleaning and laundry while cooking a filling and healthy meal. On a daily basis he lived off of frozen meals and takeout. Occasionally, he would eat with Darryl or some of the young airmen. Of course, there were the almost weekly events that so often included appetizers and dinner. In short, even in the company of other people, he was tired of eating alone, because he wasn’t enjoying the company of someone he cared to share dinner conversation with and someone who honestly cared about how his day went.

The soothing sound of jazz flowed through the apartment while he waited for pork chops to grill. In keeping with the balanced meal concept, he prepared and placed a potato in the oven to bake, steamed broccoli, and tossed a small salad.

He checked the chops and the potato one last time, and gauged that in another ten minutes his homecooked meal would be ready to enjoy. His stomach growled at the thought and the wonderful aroma that filled the entire place.

The computer was situated on a nearby desk, and, while he had been determined to cook first and handle some chores, he had done just that and was ready for a few minutes’ break. By the time he logged in and checked his e-mail, Fantasy had just left a message. Victor couldn’t help but smile as he read and reread the e-mail. She wanted him to call her at noon her time. That would be 6:00 his time. Victor glanced down at the time on his computer and noticed that he had about three more hours before he needed to make the most important call of his life. He’d be on pins and needles until the clock displayed that precise time. “What can I do until then?” he questioned himself out loud.

Victor went into the kitchen to finish cooking his meal. He was on a cloud knowing that in a few short hours he would be talking with Fantasy again after all these years. Sending e-mails and messages back and forth was one thing, but tonight he would hear her voice.

He listened and hummed to the music as he placed his dinner on one of his nicer plates, poured a big glass of tea, and sat down at the table. He forced himself to eat even though he had no appetite and was full of nervous energy. He could never tell Fantasy—or Darryl, for that matter—how nervous he felt at the anticipation of talking to her again. He would lose too many cool points with Darryl, and Fantasy would likely think he was whipped. He was; he just wasn’t ready for her to know that yet.

What he could taste of the meal he’d prepared wasn’t half bad. He immediately did the dishes and cleaned everything up. The rest of his energy was spent folding clothes and cleaning the bathroom. By the time he did all that he was a little winded, which didn’t make a lot of sense. He decided he wouldn’t borrow trouble, meaning he wouldn’t get all worked up trying to figure out what was going on. Before opening the worry door, which he was determined to keep closed, or taking on anything else that he really wasn’t up for, Victor sat down in his catnap recliner and decided to watch a movie. That was his favorite pastime. Time was a commodity he had plenty of. Living single in a small apartment far away from home and having so much time on his hands made it easy to become the king of movies. He picked up the latest ones he saw at the store, ordered them online, and kept up with whatever else was coming out. The German channels didn’t offer a lot of American shows or a variety of anything, so that left movies as a great alternative for staying entertained.

Victor loaded a DVD into the player and sat back in the recliner across from the flat-screen television. In no time at all, he was totally relaxed. He checked the time and noticed that he still had an hour before he needed to make the call.

Shortly after the movie started, exhaustion hit him without warning. His eyes got a little heavy, and he decided there would be no harm in taking a power nap. It was a major mistake; when Victor opened his eyes it was 7:30. He wanted to kick himself. The last thing he needed was for Fantasy to think that he wasn’t going to call at all or didn’t care enough to be on time. Either way, it wasn’t a good way to start their first conversation. Without even checking to see if she had sent a message asking what had happened, he dialed frantically.

“Hello,” Fantasy spoke into the phone. She had been waiting for Victor’s call, and when she had waited more than an hour, she decided to get some work done. She almost greeted the caller by saying “Jordan Alexander,” because she had given him her business line. She received so few personal calls, she wasn’t even used to giving out that number.

“Hello, Fantasy?” Victor noticed immediately how high the pitch of his voice sounded to his own ears. He quickly cleared his throat and spoke again much more deeply. “Is this Fantasy Whitman?”

“Hello, Victor.” Her heart began to pound against her chest. She couldn’t believe that he sounded the same after all these years. He, of course, was trying to mask the pitch of his voice, but there was no mistaking it; the person on the other end of the line was Victor.

“It’s so good to finally get a chance to talk to you.” There was a sudden rush of heat and he fanned himself with a nearby piece of paper.

“It’s good to get a chance to talk to you too.” Hold up, wait a minute, she thought. She was embarrassed already. Hearing his voice had reduced her to sounding like a mockingbird, as if someone were instructing her to repeat after him.

“There’s so much I want to say. So much I need to say,” Victor began.

“Victor, as I said in my message, let’s let all that go. We were young then.” Fantasy removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “Now that we are much older I think we should use this time to just build a foundation for a new beginning.” She didn’t really believe that, but she had to admit that it sounded good.

“I’m all for that. But, before we can move on, I just have to tell you how sorry I am. You deserve to know what happened. Not just what you heard, but the honest truth. I owe you that.” Victor felt a little emotional.

I am owed more than that, she thought. “In time. Right now just tell me about Command Chief Master Sergeant Victor Charles. That sounds so impressive.”

“Thank you for that compliment.” Victor smiled, liking the way his title sounded coming out of her mouth. He began to tell her all about his wing and all that they did. After more than ten minutes, he realized he had been going on and on. “Fantasy, I’ve talked enough about me. Why don’t you tell me about what you do?”

Even though she didn’t know when, at some point Fantasy had closed her eyes and just listened to Victor. She didn’t really hear or comprehend all that he said or what she answered periodically. It just felt so soothing to listen to him. There were a few times when his voice went up slightly high, but she ascribed that to Victor’s nerves. Consumed in their conversation he had become more relaxed and obviously confident in what he was sharing, because his voice was slow and deep.

“There really isn’t much to tell. I work for a local newspaper in the sales department.” What a lie. She planned to never give him her work number, nor would she give him too much information about the paper she was supposed to work for. Of course, she was a very popular syndicated news journalist, but she solely did print. They thought it would provoke great media hype to have her avoid photo ops and all television exposure. There were a few in the industry who could put name and face together, but to the outside world Jordan Alexander was a faceless newswoman.

“Oh, that sounds interesting. Do you like it?” Victor was interested. He didn’t care what she did for a living. He knew from her college days that she was a bright girl. Her profile page only said she was in media; obviously she didn’t feel comfortable sharing where she was on the workforce totem pole. Who knew exactly what detours her life had taken after she left college? He had tried to sever all the ties that connected him to the world they had once shared, hoping it would hurt less.

“It pays the bills.” Fantasy looked around her home office, visually went beyond those walls to the rest of her stylish and immaculate home, and frowned. She hadn’t just paid the bills since she finished graduate school. Fantasy was living rather large.

“You have any kids?” Victor quizzed.

Fantasy gave a quick response. “No.” There was the second lie. She would have pinched herself if she didn’t think she would yell out, “ouch.” Hopefully none of this would come back to bite her. The fact was that if she was going to carry out her plan, all of this prep work was necessary.

“Oh, okay. Well, Sonya and I have a daughter, Niya Rae. She’s a senior at Duke University.”

Fantasy dropped the pad she was holding. “Where does she attend again?” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Duke. She’s a dual major and plans on going to medical school next fall. She would have graduated by now, but she took a year off to travel abroad.”

What great news, Fantasy thought. His daughter with Sonya traveled abroad. If she had on a collar she would surely be hot under it, but, as it was, she was more than warm all over. “What a wonderful experience. I’ve heard great things about Duke.” She chuckled nervously.

His daughter and Kam were at Duke at the same time. What were the odds that the two, brother and sister, would end up on the same campus? Her mind raced. What if they knew each other? She rewound several conversations she’d had with Kam regarding school. A few times she paused, trying to figure out if she had heard Kam mention a girl named Niya.

“Well, she does well there. She’s a very beautiful girl and I’m extremely proud of her.” Not wanting to rub it in or irritate Fantasy, he suddenly stopped talking. The truth that Niya’s mother was someone else had to make his past love interest uneasy. He quickly recovered and changed the subject. “So where’s home for you these days? I know you mentioned North Carolina in one of your messages.”

She had thought about that in preparation for the conversation she knew they would have. “Oh, Durham.” That should be safe. It was the only question that she had sort of answered in truth, since she had actually lived in Durham with her grandparents. Hopefully this one tidbit of correct information would counteract at least one of the things she colorfully fixed up to avoid the honest-to-God truth.

“I remember that’s where you grew up too, right?” He did remember that from long ago.

“Yes,” said Fantasy.

“All those times I was in your neck of the woods and I never ran into you.” He couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah.” That was the only thing that Fantasy could say. There may have even been a time when they were both on the campus, visiting their kids. She opened a nearby bottle of water and took a big drink, wishing it were something stronger, like a Dr. Pepper. This revelation was too much. Thank God she didn’t indulge in alcoholic beverages, or the minute she hung up it would have been Miller time.

“I am really enjoying talking to you,” Victor said.

“I am too. But as much as I’m enjoying talking, Victor, I have to go. I almost forgot that I have an appointment.” She knew she had to end this conversation and regroup. “This is actually the first day I’ve had off in a while.”

“Oh, okay. I understand.” Victor didn’t want to end their conversation. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but I’m hoping you will give me the chance to get to know you again.” He paused, trying not to come on too strong. “From the time I got your message, I’ve had a good feeling about this, about us.” Victor listened as Luther began to fill the background with his sultry sound.

Fantasy regained enough composure to pick up her act. “I feel real good about us too. I’m thinking we should consider all the possibilities.”

“Really?” Victor couldn’t believe that things were falling into place. He hadn’t even shared all of what he’d planned, and, most of all, he hadn’t told her what had happened back then.

“Yes, really.” She laughed lightly. He sounded like a child who had been told that he could have new toy. “Victor, I’m at a point in my life where I’m looking for a perfect ending. We began so well, I guess I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if we had another chance.” She rubbed her temple. This conversation was sure to give her a headache.

“That sounds so wonderful.” Remembering that she had to go, he spoke up. “Well, can we talk again soon? How often do you go out of town?”

The chore for Fantasy would be keeping up with the script. She had told him she had been out of town, and someone in sales wouldn’t be going out of town all that often. “Oh, that was for a conference. I rarely go out of town.” She was going to have to back into the church. All this lying would keep her from even walking through the door with her head held high.

“Okay. Well, you have my numbers. I’m usually home after seven P.M., unless I have a meeting or some affair. Then there is e-mail and Facebook.” He laughed. “What I’m saying is please feel free to contact me anytime you like.”

“I will. It was great talking with you, Victor.”

“Fantasy, I do mean anytime. There is so much but it will come later. I’ll talk with you again real soon. Good-bye.” ⁹⁹

When he put the phone down, he leaned his head back against the sofa. He felt like crying. In fact, a few times while they had gone back and forth, he did shed a tear. She should have been his wife. He felt that Fantasy should have been the one. While he listened to her tonight, Victor heard a faint voice whisper her name, not once, but twice. He heard a still, small voice. When he strained to hear the whisper, it fell clearly on his ears, and the whisper said, “Fantasy.” He sat straight up and looked around. It was clear, and he understood perfectly what was said.

Victor spoke out loud. “Don’t tell me it’s that easy. Don’t tell me it’s been Fantasy all along.”