Chapter 18
“I really wish you didn’t have to leave.” Victor spoke what was in his heart. “I’m afraid the past few days with you have spoiled me completely.”
Fantasy looked across the table at him. They’d decided to have an early dinner at one of the popular seafood restaurants near Tyson’s Corner. “I have enjoyed our time together. In the way of confession, I didn’t know what to expect, but this has been much easier than I thought it would be.” She was completely sincere, except regarding Victor’s revelation of what had happened in the past. It was not erased by far, but they’d decided that time would be the ultimate healer.
“I agree.” Victor took a bite of his stuffed flounder. It was good. Ever since the plate had been placed before him he had done little more than push the food around. He was sure that his solemn state would prevent him from detecting any flavor.
Victor was determined not to end their visit on a down note. He quickly changed the subject. “I haven’t had a chance to follow current events much lately, but I read an article on the controversy about the senate seat in Florida.”
Her eyes grew wide, but she didn’t speak a word. She wanted to see what else he had to say about it. Maybe he was referring to an article written by someone else. A lot of reporters had covered the story; it was very hot news.
“There were a few articles, but Jordan Alexander’s was totally on point.”
She had just put a piece of salmon into her mouth when he said her name. The morsel of food went down the wrong way. She choked and Victor rushed to her side, thinking he would have to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Just as he moved behind her and wrapped his hands around her waist tightly, she put up a finger, signaling that she was okay. She took a gulp of water. “I’m okay.” She coughed to clear her airway a little more.
“Are you sure?” Victor was still standing behind her. She had everyone’s attention, but once it seemed she was okay they all resumed eating.
“Yes, I’m sure.” She sipped more water as Victor took his seat. “Victor, there is something I need to share with you.” She placed both hands in her lap. Fantasy looked down as she began to nervously rub her leg. “The time may not be right, but I don’t want to get on the plane without telling you this.”
“You can tell me anything,” Victor said. He nodded in an understanding way. Of course, there would be a lot of things that they would have to share. This had been their first meeting in twenty-one years. There was something major he had not shared, so he couldn’t actually say anything if she had held things back from him.
“Yeah.” Just as she thought about the part she was going to tell him, she decided to tell him where she actually lived. She knew that cleverly covering the truth would have a way of making it hard to remember everything and taking the necessary steps to straighten it all out later. The thing was when the truth was covered up, there would be no intention of uncovering it later or going back to fix it. As sad as it was the compulsion to live life with small, hidden untruths and discretions because the norm and no one ever goes back to just living a life of total honesty.
“First, I don’t live in Durham anymore. I actually haven’t lived there in a very long time.” She bit her lip slightly and looked at the window again. There was nothing there that had caught her immediate attention; she just wanted to give him a chance to listen. “I live in Ballantyne, which is on the southern edge of Charlotte.” She paused again to see if he showed any familiarity with the area she mentioned. When he didn’t respond, she continued. “I live there in a gated community.” There may have been no need to add that, but she did, not wanting to leave anything out now that she was on the threshold of uncovering parts of her life.
“I’ve actually been there before.” Victor glanced at her. “A friend of mine retired last year and he and wife built a home there. Country Club, right?”
“Yes.” She smiled weakly.
The server walked up slowly noticing that they were in deep conversation, “Sorry to interrupt but I’ll take this up as soon as you are ready.”
Victor looked up and smiled. He reached for his wallet and pulled out a credit card and without looking at the bill handed it to her, “Here you go.”
Fantasy smiled realizing that he was anxious to get back to their conversation.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” It was Victor’s turn to reach for her hand. He wasn’t sure how she could afford to live there. The smallest house in that area was still a mansion. He was almost afraid to continue to listen, thinking that she would soon be sharing that she was married or was a kept woman. “Fantasy, where you live is not even an issue.” Victor chuckled a little. “No wonder you didn’t act like a fish out of water when I pulled up to the Ritz. You live large.”
Fantasy squeezed his hand. “Yeah, right.”
“You are living large and I’m wondering if . . .” Victor stopped right there, not knowing exactly how to phrase the next part.
“You are wondering if I do anything illegal or have a sugar daddy.” She smiled. This wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be. But there was still a little more to tell. “No to both. I don’t work for a local newspaper, either.”
Her pause this time was a little long, and Victor squeezed her hand, encouraging her to go on. “Fantasy, you can always tell me anything. I love you. It may not always be pleasant and all of it may not be what I want to hear, but I promise you it can never change or damper the way I feel about you.”
The server returned, Here you go and enjoy the rest of your day.” She smiled.
Victor responded. “Thanks so much.” He signed the slip, adding in the tip. “Let’s get out of here and you can continue. He stood up, went over as Fantasy stood up and reached for her hand.
They walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand. Fantasy could feel the firm grip of his hand and she sensed that he was reassuring her that he wasn’t going anywhere nor was he intending to let her go.
Fantasy hoped he meant what he had said about nothing she shared changing what he felt for her. What she was sharing was indeed small, considering that at some point she would have to tell him about Kameron. She was getting to know him again after all these years but even though they shared some history, Fantasy believed that once she dropped the news that they have a son he was going to likely flip. He already had a dark complexion but she imagined that he would turn a few shades darker than that.
Once they were seated in the car she continued, “After I left VCU, I continued my education, both undergraduate and graduate, at Duke. I was an honors student at VCU so I had no problem academically getting into Duke. My major was communications and I did work for the local newspaper in Durham for a while. I did a few jobs before taking my present job and I worked really hard at some freelance writing. Presently, I work for United Press as one of their syndicated news columnists. And my office is in my home. I don’t punch a time clock. I sort of do my own thing.”
Victor’s eyes were wide. “Wow. That’s amazing. That’s not a job, sweetie, that’s a serious career.” Victor flipped back and forth mentally in his memory Rolodex, trying to remember if he had seen her name anywhere. If she worked for United Press, that meant she had national exposure. And he would have heard her name before. It was, of course, a one-of-a-kind name.
Fantasy slowly smiled again, knowing what he was thinking. “I decided after I left graduate school that a name like Fantasy Whitman wouldn’t really fly in the media industry, so I use an alias when I write.”
“Oh, okay, that makes sense.” Victor continued to stare deep into her eyes. It didn’t matter what came out of her mouth, he was totally in awe of Fantasy and everything about her life mattered. Since it did he would get over or around any hurdle that presented itself. “So what’s your name? Let’s see how good you really are. You’ve got to be good if you’re national.”
“I’ve been told I’m pretty good. I have never blown my own horn. But there are some who say that I’m at the top of the game.” That was the truth. And she had the money and prestige to prove it. “My name is Jordan Alexander.”
Thankfully, they were in a parking space, because Victor spun around toward her. “What? Jordan Alexander?”
“Yes, that’s me, Victor.” Fantasy looked at his silent form for a few minutes and tried to see what he was thinking. The silence was killing her. He didn’t really look like he was mad at her, but he didn’t seem elated either.
“Oh my God. I would have never guessed. I mean, I’ve never seen your photo anywhere. I have followed you religiously.” He paused. “I told you that when we were having dinner. That’s why you choked.”
“I couldn’t believe you were telling me that you like my style.” She touched his face. “I was so flattered. I wanted to say something then, but when you didn’t have to save my life and you returned to your seat, we immediately started talking about something else.”
“You could have interrupted me. I would have had no problem shifting to another topic, like, ‘Hey, Victor, I’m Jordan.’” He laughed. “But, as I said, I understand, and I’m not upset in the least bit. How can I be? I’m glad that you have done well and that you have accomplished so much. Here I thought you were impressed with me being among an elite group of command chiefs.” He touched her leg gently and smiled. He was in the presence of a woman that had it all together and among everything else he knew, she was a complete package. And he prayed she would be his one day soon. “You are a wonderful woman and I’m impressed with you before this moment and now.” Victor pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the airport.
“Victor, I am impressed by how many years you have served your country proud. There is no way that what you do pales in comparison to what I do. At the end of the day, it’s really just a job. In fact, I’ll let you in on a secret.” She leaned in closer toward him. “It’s not as exciting as it used to be.” Fantasy became serious. “For a while, a long while, I had been so committed to what I do. It was everything; a very real extension of who I am. Then, right around the time that I discovered you, I realized that something was missing in my life. Come on, I was in the middle of an assignment and I’m chatting it up on a social network. That says something about my commitment lately. If I had remained on the grind the way I had been just two weeks before I discovered you, it wouldn’t have happened. I had no time for anything or anyone if it had no direct correlation to what I do.”
“Somehow I know what you mean.” Victor did. There was, of course, the illness, but he had decided that after it was all said and done, retirement would be his next assignment. It was time for him to figure out the “what next” of life. And he wanted to do that with Fantasy.
“I can’t believe the week has gone by so quickly. I guess time really does fly when you are having fun,” Fantasy said. She was looking out the window, but felt the need to break the silence.
Both of them were sad that their time was coming to an end. Somewhere in the midst of their sadness, though, there was some excitement knowing that it was only the beginning. The two of them were working on a merger and had decided to work hard on building a solid foundation.
When she learned that Victor’s time in the States was being extended so he could work on a special project at Andrews Air Force Base, she was elated. They would be able to visit one another as often as they wanted. She was especially pleased because her flexibility would work wonders for spending time with Victor. Now that he knew she designed her own schedule and didn’t punch a clock, they had all the time in the world.
Fantasy reached over and touched his hand, which was situated on the gearshift. She glanced over at him and watched his jaw stiffen. He was chewing a piece of gum and focusing on the interstate traffic, but behind his sunglasses there was more going on than staying with the flow of the vehicles on the road. He felt what she felt, she knew that. But there was something else going on.
They chatted about her confession while they navigated through the airport. By the time they got situated, she had about forty-five minutes to wait. “That was like a marathon.”
“It’s crazy how long it takes these days to get through the airport. Nine-eleven did a whammy on everything.”
Fantasy agreed with a nod, and then she saw them. She couldn’t believe it, but Kam and Brittany were coming her way. “I have to go the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
Victor looked at her, stunned. She jumped up and walked away before he could even ask her if she was okay.
Her attempt at a getaway didn’t work. She heard her son call out to her just as she turned her back. Maybe if she had been a minute or two quicker in her retreat she wouldn’t be facing what was to come.
“Mom.” Kam sped up to get to her. They stood just a short distance from where she had been sitting with Victor.
She couldn’t just keep on walking like she didn’t see or hear him. Stopping with her back still to him, she prayed. Fantasy turned around slowly and faced her son. She wanted to look to see if Victor was looking in their direction, but even without that confirmation she knew he was. “Hey.” Her voice was as soft as a whisper. She didn’t know why she was talking so low; it wouldn’t exactly make her invisible.
Kam hugged and kissed her first, and then Brittany followed suit. “What are you doing here? I thought you were still hanging out with old dude.”
“I was.” She stuttered over her words. “Now I’m on my way back home.” Finally, she looked in Victor’s direction, and he gave her a questioning look.
Victor didn’t know what to think. He’d clearly heard the young man call her Mom. He knew that she was a friendly person, and she had mentioned doing things in the church. Maybe this young man was somewhat of a godchild. That would make what he’d heard sensible.
Just as Victor was trying to understand the scene and the two main players, something happened. Kameron turned toward him, and, for the first time since he had been standing there talking to Fantasy, Victor saw his face. There was instantly something familiar. He was trying to respect her privacy by remaining in his seat, but there was a force that pulled him; he needed to go over to them. Before Victor could totally ignore it, he yielded and walked toward the threesome.
Fantasy saw him coming and took a deep breath. She tried to smile. Maybe she could somehow come up with something, anything.
Victor came over and stood next to her. “Fantasy, who is this handsome young man?” Victor’s eyes were locked on Kameron’s face. The pull he felt inside was even stronger now.
Kameron moved forward a little and extended his hand. “Kameron Whitman, sir.” He smiled. “And this is my fiancée, Brittany Peters.”
“Hello,” Brittany said, and extended her hand.
Victor spoke up. “It’s very nice to meet you both. I’m Victor Charles.” He waited to see if the name meant anything to Kameron. When it obviously didn’t register, he decided to add more. “I’m an old friend of Fantasy’s.”
Still nothing. He moved closer to Fantasy, who hadn’t moved a muscle or said a word. Yet her face confirmed what he was thinking. Victor continued. “We went to VCU together, oh, what, Fantasy, twenty-one years ago?”
Fantasy answered. She was pissed that Victor added the extra number of years since they were college sweethearts. He really didn’t have to go that far. If he would have just waited and given her a chance to send Kameron on his way, she would have sat down and told him everything. They both deserved much more than meeting for the first time in the middle of an airport. “Yes, I think that’s correct.”
“Mom doesn’t talk much about her time there. But I’ve heard great things about the school. I graduated undergrad at Duke and I’m in law school there as well.” Kameron was proud of what he had accomplished. Being a conversationalist—and one who was never at a loss for words, much like his father—he continued. “I’m on an internship right now as a page on Capitol Hill.”
Victor would have sat down if there had been a chair close enough. This had all knocked the wind out of him. His son (although that part had not been confirmed) and his daughter attended the same school. Who knew how often they were walking the campus grounds around each other? What if he hadn’t met this pretty young lady, Brittany? What if they had ended up having a fling and Niya had gotten pregnant by her brother? Victor had to brace himself to keep from falling down. He tried to sound calm and cool. “What wonderful accomplishments. I know your mother must be very proud of you.” He turned to Fantasy.
Since the start of this reunion, she had said hardly anything. She just stood, looking like someone had pulled the rug out from under her. “I am very proud of him.”
Before another exchange took place, Brittany looked at her watch. “Kameron, we’d better go. My flight will be boarding in a few minutes.”
Fantasy wanted to know where the heck her plane was and why it had not come, say, ten minutes ago?
Brittany spoke up, noticing how Fantasy was looking at her. “I’m going to visit my sister in California. I was here visiting my sweetheart for a few days.” Money afforded her the luxury of flying all over the place at will. She was actually working for her father in his medical office until she started her physical therapy program.
“Oh, I see.” As much as she loved her son, she needed him to be on his way. She didn’t know what exchange she and Victor would have, but she wanted it to happen and be over. “Well, have a nice time.”
Kameron moved close and embraced his mom tightly. He could tell that this was awkward for her, he just didn’t know why. He whispered to her, “Are you okay?”
She tilted her head to look up at him. “I’m just fine, sweetie.” It was forced. She knew that she and Victor would never be fine after this.
“Well, call me the minute you land.” He kissed her again and turned his attention to Victor. The interrogator in him kicked in, and he knew that something about this old dude wasn’t right. He had never seen his mother this nervous. She was uneasy about him meeting her mystery man. He had a few questions, and couldn’t understand the feeling he was having at coming face-to-face with him. He wouldn’t concern himself with it right now. One thing was always true with him and his mother: if something didn’t sit well with one of them, they always talked about it. Nothing was ever left to be categorized as confusing, nor as issues that would leave either misinformed. So, with that history to go on, he decided to wait.
“It was very nice to meet you, Mr. Charles.” Kameron smiled. As he was saying good-bye though, he realized that there was something familiar about this man. He knew that he hadn’t seen him before, at least, not that he could remember.
“You too, Kameron. I hope to see you again soon.” That was the God’s honest truth. He wanted to see him again.
Brittany had stood there like she had seen something that just wasn’t right. As a woman, she had that intuition thing going on, and there was something that was in this unexpected meeting that was out of sync. She had watched Fantasy’s body language and it was as if she wanted to vanish. That was unusual for Kameron’s mother; anytime she had a chance to be in his company, she was always happy. It was especially strange considering that this chance meeting had happened in DC.
The young couple waved good-bye and headed in the direction where Brittany’s plane would be boarding. A few times, Kameron looked over his shoulder as if he needed to get another look to confirm whatever he thought he saw or didn’t see. Each time he smiled and waved.
Victor didn’t waste any time at all. “Fantasy, is Kameron my son?” He didn’t look at her.
“Yes.” It was only one word, yet it answered his question and changed their worlds. The heat she felt inside moments ago that had reached a boiling point now turned to ice. Her entire body shivered from pain, anger, and sadness.
“I can’t believe this.” Victor walked on numb legs to the seat he had vacated minutes before. His eyes were fixed and he stared straight ahead. He wasn’t focusing on anything and, truthfully, he felt blinded by all that had transpired.
Fantasy sat beside him and was careful not to touch or brush up against him. She knew he wasn’t the violent type, but she wasn’t sure if this whole scenario could cause him to snap. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I do. Why didn’t you tell me?” Victor looked at Fantasy. There was disappointment where earlier there had been love and admiration. “I deserved to know that I have a son.”
She didn’t want to dance around this. It was out now and she was going to be upfront with him. “Isn’t it obvious why I didn’t tell you?” There was more bass in her voice than usual. He was coming out of the box on her when she wasn’t the one who had orchestrated the reason she couldn’t share in the first place.
“No, actually, it’s not obvious. There was no reason, none at all, why you should have kept him a secret. I had every right to know,” said Victor.
She felt his anger unleashed on her, and, while she was trying to take a different avenue, she would just speak her mind and let the chips fall. “I can’t believe you are sitting here like you stayed around long enough for me to have told you anything. In case you’ve forgotten, you made your choice and you moved on without telling me a thing. I didn’t even get a good-bye. No ‘Dear, Fantasy’ or anything.
“I found out I was pregnant a week before I was told you were marrying Sonya.” She felt the familiar pain of that time and how it had all unfolded. “You’d made a choice, and while I had no idea you did so because she was pregnant, there was no way I would use my child to hold on to you. And I didn’t want my child to be the reason you didn’t do what you wanted to do.”
“You should have told me. It was my choice to make.” He still didn’t move or turn toward her.
Tears began to fall from Fantasy’s eyes. The salty taste of her own tears touched her lips. “After I found out about the engagement, I did call. I was going to tell you about our baby. The one thing I asked you was if you loved me. Victor, you didn’t answer me. I waited for what seemed like an eternity and you couldn’t even tell me you loved me. So, yes, I blew up and, yes, I cussed you out. But what did you expect?”
Victor immediately remembered her asking him over and over if he loved her, and he just hadn’t been able to answer. “I had to marry Sonya, and telling you I loved you would have made matters worse.”
“What could have been worse, Victor? You walked away from me and our unborn son.”
“You still had no right to keep him from me. I am his father and it has taken me twenty-one years to learn that I have another child.” Victor couldn’t see past his pain. “It was not your decision to make alone.”
“Then whose decision was it? You made it a solo project. You could have talked to me after I calmed down, after I had completely lost it because of the hurt and pain, but you never even looked back. Love would have made you push your selfish feeling aside and your worry of being cussed out again, but it was just easy for you to chalk it up to ‘she doesn’t want me in her life’ and ride off into the sunset. The truth is, if you and Sonya were still living happily ever after, you wouldn’t be here. You likely would have never responded to my message. So, play the victim in this, Victor, but the only victim—I repeat, only victim—is the caring, passionate, and loving man you met a few minutes ago.”
“I married Sonya because my dad would have been disappointed in me. He expected me to be strong and to own up to my responsibilities.” Once those words escaped his lips, even in his solemn state of mind he wished he could take them back.
“How would your father have felt if he knew you had gotten me pregnant as well? What would he have told you then, Victor? To marry us both?” Fantasy stood up. “I didn’t want you to do to me what you just said you did to her: marry out of obligation.” Fantasy felt like the wind had been taken completely out of her sails.
“I was obligated to do what was right. And all these years have passed, and Niya had a right to know that she had a brother.” Victor didn’t know what was going on. Every time he opened his mouth, nothing seemed to be coming out right. It all sounded right when it flowed through his mind, but once it was out, something happened.
“Please don’t feel that you have an obligation to Kameron now that you know, because you don’t. And why is this about Niya? For her twenty-one years of life, she has had you.” Fantasy reached for her tote and her purse. “You know, I was thinking that this was not the right time or the right way for you to learn that we share a wonderful son. Now, I’m thinking that while the way was not ideal, the timing couldn’t have been better. It has kept me from making the second biggest mistake of my life.”
She didn’t zero in on him to see if he was looking at her, or the floor, or somewhere else. Fantasy walked away toward the gate. This time she was the one who didn’t look back.