Chapter 21
Fantasy was reading through the messages that Victor had written. The next evening after she received the voice mail he called back. He talked and she listened. It was hard to get back on the bike, but there was right and wrong on both their parts. She would love to say that she held no blame in any of it, but she had. She reflected on what she had said to Kam at the family dinner. For all that time she’d never realized how all of it tied together and how very much she was affected by her mom. That day wasn’t just for Kam, it was for her. She need to understand all the ways so she could move on and not be held hostage by the things that would so easily entangle her and cause her to lose her mind.
Feeling the need to do something she hadn’t done in a while, she looked around for her laptop. Once she spied it, she moved gingerly across the room, picked it up, and brought it back to the bed. Getting comfortable, she placed a few pillows behind her back and one under her knees. She signed on to her Facebook account and began a message to Victor:
It’s been a minute since I’ve sent you a message just to let you know how much I love you. Today I realized how special all of our time has been, and even the time when we are far apart and somehow our hearts are so intertwined, we are still together. That’s why at this very moment I feel so close to you. When I lay in your arms listening to your heartbeat, I smiled because each beat mimicked my heartbeat perfectly. I am in awe of us and how perfect two people could be for one another, and knowing that those two people are you and I. It’s as if I breathe in, knowing that exhaling will find me more in love with you than the moment before. I hope you don’t mind me being this deep. For months I’ve been walking around hurt and holding on to stuff that I should have let go. Not until today did I realize that it was because I was not your number one. And even in the now, even right this moment, to take all that I’m feeling and stand at the playing board and put everything on us frightens me, because it might mean that in my mind, in my soul, and in my heart of hearts you have been my number one and although I bared my soul and opened up you didn’t accept what I had to offer. What a woman I’ve always been, knowing when to walk away and somehow being able to pick up the pieces and hope. Then one day I just stopped hoping. I figured that it was better to just let someone love me and pray that I was it for them, without unveiling what I really needed, what I really wanted. I took only what was offered and made it enough. I never felt abundant love was for me. So there are days I hold back, and, honestly, days I hide behind my work, when I just don’t want to hurt again. The times when we have been together and it’s time for you to leave, my heart breaks. You’ve seen those tears, so can you even imagine me having to let you go again? And yet I know that you have grown and I know you feel bad and I even believe you love me more than you ever thought possible. There is a future for us. I feel in my heart that you are my forever, and I’m going to love you harder, better, deeper, and longer than any you’ve ever known. Every morning you will wake up to my smile; you will be touched with the softness of my caress; throughout each day you will be reminded that you have a partner, a mate, an intercessor, and a burden-sharer; and at night you will rest in the arms of your lover, your friend, and your wife. As we wait for night to completely capture the day we will make love and merge our souls together in a place where there is nothing but our love, and the distance between is no more than a thin vapor of air. You are my forever. Love, Fantasy
Fantasy had noticed that someone from her job had sent her a Facebook friend request. By the time she’d answered it, she’d gotten a message back from Victor:
Your words melted my heart. I love you so very, very much, Fantasy, and although we took the long way back to each other (my fault), you indeed are my soul mate and I thank God for you every day. You are my future. Everything that I see and feel from this moment forward has you, has me, has “Us.” I promise to spend the rest of my life demonstrating how special you are to and for me. I can’t wait. It’s the little things we will do together that will have the biggest impact on me. They already have! God showed me my mistake many years ago. I will never lose you or your love for me again. I love you, and I am deeply in love with you. You are my forever. Love, Victor
Fantasy read the message twice and was so touched. She went back and looked at their first communication:
This is a very distant blast from your past. I’m a very old friend from your college days. You likely don’t even remember me, although I’d like to think we have a little history and I at least made a lasting impression. I really don’t know what I expect or if I should expect anything, not even a response. I was looking at a page of one of your fraternity brothers, an old friend as well, and there you were. What a wonder this social network is; I just haven’t determined if it’s a good one or a bad one. I’m totally new to this, and I’m sure after a while I’ll be able to decide. My intent tonight was to reach out and say hello for old time’s sake. I hope all is well, Fantasy
Yes, this is definitely a blast from the past, and a very pleasant one. I do remember you, Fantasy. I must admit, when I saw your message I looked out my window, thinking you had someone posted outside my house ready to take me out. You see, in remembering, I also remember the hurt I caused you. It was long ago, true, but nevertheless a period of time that I have not forgotten. I was young and dumb, and I handled “us” badly. For what it’s worth, I’m so very sorry. Even now that doesn’t seem like enough. I know my apology is coming some twenty years later, and I wish that weren’t the case. Walking away from you was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and for all these years it has haunted me. Somehow I knew our paths would cross again and I’d have a chance to make amends, or at least try. A young man is too naïve to fix what he messes up, and an older man cares so much about mending what’s broken it is all he can think about. There was no way I could ever forget. Fantasy, if you will let me, I’d like to keep in touch with you. I just want the opportunity to say and do what I should have so long ago. Forever! Victor
She just needed to look back at how they started all over again. Just then, she saw another message come through from Victor. As she waited for the page to open, she noticed that the sun was going down and it was picture perfect outside. She had never seen something so beautiful, and she was eager to go out on the balcony and watch it descend over the water.
Fantasy, why don’t you come and take a walk with me? Victor
She jumped up and pushed the laptop to the side. She spoke out loud. “What in the world is he talking about?”
She yelled for Nick, who was in the next room, and got no answer. She walked slowly through the house and didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe he’s outside. Just as she walked through the door, she saw Nick standing close to the front step with a smile. She was getting ready to fuss at him when she looked up and, from a distance, she saw Victor walking toward the villa.
She covered her mouth and tears began to flow. Kam came up behind her out of nowhere and handed her a tissue. “It’s okay, I’m sure he’s crying too.”
She walked down the steps and across the sand with bare feet. The sun was positioned over the water, giving her time to reach her destination. It wanted to create the ideal backdrop for the love that existed between the two old lovers. When she got to him she didn’t know what to say.
Victor reached for her hand and slowly kissed each finger. Just as Kam had said, there were tears. He marveled at how beautiful she was, and he spoke from his heart. He knew that they were going to try again, and this time he’d work harder. He realized the gamble she was taking, and it was all in the name of love. How could he even begin to tell her?
“I’m not waiting another moment. I love you and I want you to marry me.” Victor reached into his pocket and pulled out a box.
“Yes.” Fantasy giggled and kissed him until her head began to spin.
“Aren’t you going to look at your ring?” Victor held her tight, but not too tight.
“I don’t need to. But first things first. Nick told me about the dialysis.”
Victor looked down. He was going to share that with her, but he’d wanted the happiness first. “I was going to tell—”
“Shh. I knew something was wrong when I first saw you again in DC. We are going to get you well and then I’m going to become Mrs. Victor Charles.” Fantasy smiled up at Victor, who was the love of her life.
“You don’t mind waiting?” Victor asked.
“I’ve never stopped loving you and I love you still.” Fantasy kissed Victor again and held on tight, not wanting anything to interrupt their moment.
“Thank you for taking the chance,” Victor whispered in her ear as the wind blew across the sands.