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“HEY, IT’S ME. PENNY can’t go out tomorrow night. She just canceled. Are you on your way over?”
As Christy’s whine echoes across the speaker phone in my car, I turn the key in the ignition and grin. Hell yeah, my day is getting better. “I just dropped off some donation stuff for my dad. Give me a bit to change and eat first?”
“Sure thing. So, what do you wanna do? My parents aren’t home.”
Christy’s sing-song voice sends tingles across the back of my neck. This is getting serious. Since I’ve broken the state record at the swim meet, she’s become more seductive. She’s been flirting with me all week, amping up her efforts to take things to the next level.
Two nights ago, she stripped down to her lacy bra and panties while we were watching a movie in my bedroom—to show me what I’ve been missing. It took all my willpower to shut her down. Thank God my parents were at some fundraiser.
She’s out of control.
“Luke?”
Taking a deep breath, I grip the steering wheel. Much as the guy part of my body wants her, my mind has found all sorts of reasons it’s a bad idea. Unwanted pregnancy tops this list like a flashing red light. My dad will kill me if I lose a scholarship and a potential Olympic career just because I can’t control myself.
Even though we’ve known each other for a while, Chris and I haven’t been dating very long. Before last summer, we hadn’t talked about sex. I’ve never been with anyone. She hasn’t either, so I guess we’re on an equal playing field. Truthfully, I don’t want to disappoint her.
I close my eyes. If I’m being honest, there’s something else holding me back. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out what it is.
I’m just not ready.
I swallow hard. “Chris...”
She sends me a nervous giggle. “I know, I know. We have to study. We can still watch a movie, can’t we?”
Releasing a sigh, I mutter, “Sure. I’ll be over in an hour, okay? History comes first.”
“See you soon, baby.”
Pushing a button on my steering column, I end the call and drive toward home. My music resumes. One Republic’s Apologize hits my solar plexus like a storm, and my mind drifts back to Penny.
She cancelled her first date. Is she okay? Not that I wanted to see her with the altar-boy, but it is pretty short notice. With her mother on a binge again, I worry about her.
I pull into my neighborhood. Instead of turning left on my street, I take a right. Fortunately, Miranda’s clunker isn’t anywhere to be seen. Parking in the driveway of the small craftsman-style house, one as familiar to me as my own, I cringe. The once cheerful home looks like something out of a psycho thriller.
Turning off the ignition, I exit my car and ascend the stairs. Things sure have gone downhill since Sergeant Ramsay’s death. The warped cedar siding stands out at odd angles as mahogany brown paint chips away, exposing several holes underneath. The gutters hang from the sides of the house, barely suspended by a single coupling. The overgrown bushes scramble like jungle fauna across the cement stairs. And the porch swing I used to push Penny on is now broken in pieces and laying on the floor, its chains rusted through.
I rap upon the oak door. As footsteps echo closer, Penny glances out the sidelight.
And glowers at me.
Shit, not good.
She flings the door wide. A pissed-off expression accompanies her clenched fists as she growls, “What are you doing here, Donovan?”
I blink at her in surprise. Her hair is soaking wet, and her lips are blue. Her eyes are bloodshot—she’s been crying. I clench my fists. Fuck her attitude, what the hell happened to her? I just saw her a few hours ago decorating the freshman hall!
Pushing my way inside, I close the door behind me. “Did you walk home?”
She rubs her temples and groans. “You can’t keep doing this.”
Crossing my arms, I stand akimbo and bite out, “That isn’t an answer. Did. You. Walk. Home?”
A strange feeling flutters in my chest as her bottom lip juts out. “It’s none of your business.” She pulls her trembling fingers inside her sweatshirt sleeves.
Seizing her hands, I rub them between mine vigorously. Her skin is as cold as ice. “Why didn’t you call me? I told you I’d give you a ride!” Tears gather at her eyes, the vibrant glints of green piercing my aching heart. I wrap my arms around her and pull her against my chest. “God, I’m sorry, Sunshine.”
A strange feeling rushes through me as she nuzzles against my shoulder. For a split second, time stands still. Her shallow breath tickles my neck, sending tingles through my extremities.
Holy... what the fuck is that?
Jolting out of my arms as if she’s been electrocuted, she wipes the moisture from her cheeks. “I’ve told you a million times, Luke. I don’t need your help. Don’t you have a girlfriend to stalk?”
Beside the point. Christy isn’t the one who needs saving.
I clear my throat. “Speaking of, I hear we aren’t going out on Saturday.”
Shuffling her feet, she shakes her head. “Mrs. Monroe needs me to babysit. She’s paying extra. I couldn’t let her down.”
Thank God. At least her mother isn’t punishing her for something. I flop onto the sofa and pull her next to me. “Good. That’s settled. So, we need to talk.”
Her body stiffens, and that small buzz alights in my brain. She fidgets nervously, scooting a few inches away from me. “About what?”
Leaning my elbows on my knees, I give her a sidelong glance. “I’m glad you and Christy are getting along. But I know how she can be.”
Penny snorts. “I doubt that.”
“I do. She might have good intentions with all of this, but I can tell that you don’t want to go out with this guy. Do you?”
Please, God, let her say no.
Penny squirms against the worn velvet cushions and gives me a half shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Yeah, there’s your answer, Sunshine.” Relaxing, I shake my head. “If you don’t want to go, don’t let Chris push you into it.”
She snorts a laugh. “Sure. Like I couldn’t let your mother talk me into doing Homecoming stuff? I haven’t been given much of a choice about any of it.”
I fork my fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry. Mom means well. She cares about you.”
Penny glares at me. “So much that she called child services on us? So much that she didn’t stand up to Sparks’ dad during that whole grade school thing? So much that she calls my mother about this stuff—who doesn’t respond well to her intervention?”
I close my eyes. I can’t deny any of those things. I’ve tried to explain to my mother that her efforts aren’t working, but everything seems to fall on deaf ears. “She’s only trying to help.”
“It makes things worse!” Penny bolts up. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to. Like a good little girl, I joined the stupid scholar bowl team. I babysit four times a week. I clean the house. I do the laundry. Now I’m stuck with this Homecoming thing because your mother threatened to call mine if I don’t get involved. Isn’t anything I do enough for you people?”
Tears wobble at her eyelashes as her chest heaves. My breath hitches. “Probably more than, Pen. Why are you killing yourself?”
“Are you serious? I told you. I don’t have a choice.” She huffs a sigh. “Why are you trying so hard?”
She’s kidding, right? “Because I care about you.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Jeez Louise, homeschool never looked better. I’m trying my hardest to stay away from you! I’ve kept up my end of the deal. Why can’t they leave me alone? ”
I grab her hand. “Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Who?”
The dark green of her irises swallow jade as she chokes on a sob. “N-nothing. Never mind. It isn’t important.”
My heart is shattering in a million pieces. My mother had it all wrong. So did Colt. This girl isn’t just withdrawing. She’s broken and dying inside.
Needing to comfort her, I attempt to pull her in for another hug, but she sidesteps me like a ballroom dancer. “Pen, what’s going on?”
With a firm grasp on my upper arm, she hauls me toward the door. “You can’t keep doing this, Luke. It’ll only make things worse for me—and you.”
“Pen, wait!” What the hell? She’s seriously kicking me out? Fuck, she’s strong. I dig in my heels like a petulant child, but she braces herself against the door frame and attempts to shove me outside. Resisting the urge to fight her anymore, I step back. “Alright, Ramsay. I’ll go. But this isn’t over.”
“Yes, it is. Don’t you understand? They’re targeting me because of you! Would you please just—” She closes her eyes, desperation dripping from them as her body trembles. “You can’t come to my house anymore. This is over.” She slams the door.
The hell it is.
Stepping onto the sidewalk, I finger my keys as I stare up at Penny’s bedroom window. Something isn’t right. She’s scared. Someone is threatening her because of me.
But why?
Dodging the rain, I stalk to my car and climb in. A weird ache spreads through my body. I’m not sure what just happened, but I’m not going to let it slide. I swore to Colt I’d protect his sister.
“And that’s what I’m going to do.”
*****
This is the private journal of Penny Elaine Ramsay. Do not read!!
OCTOBER 22, 2007
I’ll never make the mistake of taking something so personal to school ever again. It seems I can’t not write, so this journal will stay at home. I haven’t seen my diary entries on the internet yet, but the week’s still young. And I have to fulfill my part of the bargain if I want to keep my secrets. But I’m not sure my deal with Hannah was worth it.
Why the hell did I agree to write her Crusades paper? It’s harder to cheat than I thought. I don’t know how I’m gonna pull off a B for her. How can I make it convincing when she writes like a third grader? I think she might be dyslexic. Has she always had problems in school? I’m not trying to sound judgmental, but someone might want to look into her situation.
Not my business. Bottom line? Lopez’ll never go for this girl getting a B. Best case scenario? C-. Even then, the witch won’t keep her end of the deal. I’ll probably see my shit plastered across MySpace anyway.
All of this because of a guy who in one breath doesn’t know I’m alive, and in the next is so far up in my business I can’t tell what his intentions are.
Life sucks.
Three years, seven months, and fourteen days. Then I’ll be free.