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“COME ON, PEN. I’LL only be here a few days. Can’t you come out for dinner? Ma’s been cooking all day.”
“Not that the little brat cares,” Miranda yells.
As the front door slams, Penny closes her geometry book and sighs. Her brother returned for Thanksgiving yesterday, but she doesn’t want to see anyone. She’s spent the last three weeks in her room, doing nothing but studying.
Books. That’s all she cares about at the moment.
In the wake of everything, her mother still refuses to let her homeschool. Thankfully, Mrs. Donovan is allowing her to take classes remotely, citing medical leave. For tests, Penny goes to the school on Saturdays and her counselor administers them. It works for now. But she can’t do this for all of high school.
And there’s no way in hell she’s going back.
For the most part, she isn’t interested in what’s going on at RHHS. She talks to Kennedy once in a while, the only person she trusts.
Besides Colt...
Heaving a sigh, she slowly opens the door. As her big brother appears in front of her, his gaze fills with sadness. She bursts into tears.
“Aw, Pen.” He tugs her against his chest. She burrows into his arms and sobs. This is why she didn’t want to see him. He isn’t here anymore. She’s all alone, and it hurts too much.
“Come on. Let’s go downstairs and talk.”
She lifts her head. “Is Mom here?”
“No. She went to the store. It’s just you and me, okay?”
She follows him down the stairs. As they settle upon the couch, he sighs. “So, what happened? Ma says you won’t come out of your room.”
Her eyes narrow. “She didn’t tell you?”
He presses his lips together. “Not all of it. I want to hear it from you.”
Picking up the crocheted throw draped across the back of the sofa, she pulls her knees up, tucking her feet under her bottom. She cuddles beneath the soft blanket and picks at the stitches. “I went to Homecoming with this guy from All Saints Academy. Christy Mefford and Hannah Sparks set it up.”
He frowns. “Donovan’s girlfriend set you up on a blind date?”
She sniffles. “Yeah. They know the guy from church. Anyway, I thought he was nice. He talked to me and actually seemed to want to be around me.” She shakes her head. “I was so stupid. No guy would ever want me.” The muscles at his jaw clench, and she gives him a look of exasperation. “Come on, Colt. Look at me. I’m not the type that guys go for.”
His nostrils flare. “Not gonna acknowledge that with an answer. Go on.”
She closes her eyes. “We were having fun. Luke and Christy asked if we wanted to go to Hannah’s afterward to play games and stuff. We said we’d meet them there. My date brought me punch. I went to the restroom. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on Hannah’s front lawn, half naked.”
Colt’s eyes pop as he bursts off the couch, his fists clenched. “What? Oh my fucking God, what did that asshole do to you?”
She bites her bottom lip. The tears won’t stop. And she can’t tell him. It would break him more than it had her. “I think he slipped something in my drink at the dance. I don’t remember anything.”
He grabs his keys from the table. “What’s his name? I’m going to kill the son of a bitch.”
She scoffs. “It doesn’t matter. He’s long gone.”
“What? Where?”
“I don’t know. A boarding school somewhere. The police cleared him. He said he dropped me off at home. And Hannah said she didn’t invite me to her house because we aren’t friends. Everyone thinks I’m a liar.”
Colt paces the room. “This is fucking—. Where the hell was Donovan?”
She swallows hard. “With Christy. They never showed up at Hannah’s. Although, he and Christy did tell the police that Hannah lied.” As the muscles in Colt’s jaw jump, she takes a deep breath. “The day after Homecoming, someone hacked my MySpace account and...” She releases another sob. “They uploaded pictures to my page.”
He whips around. “Of what?”
She buries her face in her hands. “They were horrible, Colt! They posed me half naked in crazy positions... and I don’t remember any of it!”
Handing her a tissue, he mutters, “That’s why your page was taken down? Thank God, I didn’t see them.”
She shrugs. “I didn’t either. I don’t want to look at any of it.”
He grips the edge of the dining table and seethes. “I’m going to rip Luke Donovan in half. He had one fucking job. What the hell?”
She sniffles. “It wasn’t his fault. He’s the one who turned Hannah in. Christy found a digital card in a camera Hannah had borrowed from Christy’s mother. It had all the pictures on it. Luke and Christy gave it to Mrs. Donovan.”
With his lips pursed, Colt arches an eyebrow. “Is that it?”
“That’s all I know.” Her brow furrows. “Oh, and there’s a video.”
“Jesus, there’s a video too?”
She sighs. “That’s how we found out it was a prank. You can’t see anybody’s face but mine in the pictures. But in the video, several people were standing around wearing animal masks.” Her voice cracks. “They were mooing. And oinking.” Sobs wrack her body as she curls into a ball.
Colton rubs her back. “So, Homecoming... setting you up on a date, all of it? It was a fucking prank?”
She nods. “They did it to humiliate me.” Mission accomplished.
The muscles at his jawline twitch. “How many were there?”
“Four or five?”
“Do you know who they were?”
She knows at least three of them, but she doesn’t care anymore. She just wants it to go away. Glancing away, she shakes her head. “They were all dressed in black.”
“And this nameless asshole? What was his deal?”
“He drugged me, so he must have been in on it. That’s all I know.”
And he raped me.
There was no way she could tell her brother that. She hasn’t even processed it, yet.
Colt stalks around the room like a wrongly accused prisoner on the day of his sentencing. Shaking his head, he curses. “I don’t want you at that fucking school anymore.”
Ripping the tissue in her hands to shreds, she says, “Why do you think I’ve been at home locked in my room? I can’t go back, Colt. Please don’t make me!”
Sitting next to her, he scrubs a hand across his stubbled face. “I’ll talk to Ma. We’ll enroll you at the Alternative School. Or homeschool?”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ve already asked. Mom won’t do either.”
“You let me worry about her, okay?” He kisses Penny’s forehead. “I am so sorry. I never should have left you.”
She takes his hand. “It isn’t your fault. You have a life too.” She nudges him. “And a new girlfriend.”
He gives her a lopsided grin. “Holly. She’s going to visit at Christmas. You can meet her then.” His phone rings. His knuckles whiten around his device, and he gives her a sidelong glance. “Fuck, it’s Donovan.”
Penny stands. “Go ahead and take it. I’ll finish the dishes.”
He stops her. “Have you talked to him?”
Pain shoots through her gut as thoughts of her supposed knight in shining armor invade her memory. Once upon a time, Luke had slayed her dragons. He’d made her feel safe.
Not anymore.
She presses her lips together and shakes her head. “No. And I don’t want to.”
He issues a curt nod. “Noted.”
She stalks into the kitchen. As much as she wants to forgive Luke, and as much as she believes he didn’t know anything about the incident, she still doesn’t trust his girlfriend. Both Christy and Hanna have a manipulative streak. Worse, Christy wears jealousy like a badge of honor.
It’s better if I steer clear of all of them.
Colt follows her into the kitchen and sits at the bar. Her eyes narrow as she shakes her head. Didn’t he hear what she said? She doesn’t even want to hear Donovan’s voice.
With a pointed nod, he sets his phone on speaker and places it on the counter. “Heya, Donovan. What’s up?”
“Nothin’. Thought I’d see what’s going on and wondering how Pen is doing. I just can’t believe all the shit that went down, man.”
Her heart cracks at Luke’s velvety soft voice.
Colt huffs. “Stop beating yourself up. It wasn’t your fault.”
Luke clears his throat. “So, are you home for Thanksgiving?”
“Just for the day. Holly wants me to go to a Christmas party with her on Friday. I’m driving to Pendleton to meet her parents.”
“That’s awesome, man. Um, what about Penny? I’d like to see her.”
Colt mutes his phone. “Well?”
Pain cascades through her soul. She shakes her head vehemently. There is no way she’d survive looking into Luke’s eyes and seeing his pity.
Colt returns to the call. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. She doesn’t want to see anyone right now. She spent half the night crying, and I still can’t get the whole story out of her. She’s a wreck.”
Slouching onto the bar stool next to her brother, she folds her arms across the counter and lays her head upon them with a sigh. It isn’t far from the truth.
Luke’s voice wavers. “I swear to you Colt, I had no idea all the stuff they were doing. My schedule’s been crazy with extra swim practices and crap. My dad’s riding my ass about Nationals and getting a fucking scholarship. I haven’t been able to keep a closer eye on Pen like you wanted me to.”
Penny rolls her eyes as Colt gives her a sidelong glance. She knows all about her brother’s talk with Luke Donovan. Unfortunately, it had set off a chain reaction of hero and bully events that she neither wanted nor needed.
Colt clears his throat. “I told you I don’t blame you, man.”
“But I should have been there. You asked me to keep your sister safe. I encouraged her to get involved in Homecoming and stuff and look what happened.”
“Donovan, you’re taking this too far.”
A loud bang vibrates through the speaker. “Fucking bullies. If I ever find that guy, he’s dead. And Hannah? Jesus!”
Colt mouths, “Hannah?”
Penny whispers, “Christy’s cousin.”
Luke is blathering on, and Colton growls, “Just fucking stop, okay? You didn’t know your girlfriend’s cousin is a psychopath.” Penny nods. It’s true. He says, “When I asked you to look out for my sister, I didn’t expect you to give up your life. I get it. You have a girlfriend. You had plans.”
Luke scoffs. “Sure, I did. My girlfriend and I were getting it on while Pen was being violated. I’m such a great guy.”
A visceral ache skewers Penny’s heart, and like a poison arrow, anger and betrayal follow. So, it is true. Luke and Christy had gone all the way. Kennedy had mentioned the rumors, but Penny never believes anything word of mouth.
Except he just admitted it...
She bursts off the stool. Bolting from the room, she ducks around the corner of the dining room and slides down the wall.
“I feel sick about it, Colt. Pen won’t let me apologize.”
“Just give her space,” Colt mutters. “She’ll get over it.”
“Highly doubtful, man. Hannah posted pictures of her all over the web along with entries from her journal. They went viral. The whole school is talking about it. It isn’t pretty.”
Colton lowers his voice. “Fuck, I know, alright? What can I do about it?”
The last thread of control snaps. Bringing her knees to her chest, Penny wraps her arms around her torso and buries her head. She can’t let her brother hear her cry.
Tears stream down her cheeks. None of her efforts mattered. She’d gone through all of that Homecoming crap just to please Mrs. Donovan and to keep her secrets safe, and Hannah posted everything anyway.
Life is so unfair.
The front door opens, and Miranda walks in with two paper bags. Her eyes narrow as Penny stands, wiping the moisture from her eyes. Miranda scoffs. “So, you’re done pouting? You’ve decided to leave your hidey-hole?” Penny opens her mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.
Hanging her coat in the hall closet, Miranda sits the groceries on the table and frowns. “Who is Colt talking to?”
“Donovan.”
Miranda’s lips purse. Stalking to the liquor cabinet, she grabs the fifth of Jameson, her best friend, and plops onto the couch. Without a word, she downs three gulps straight from the bottle.
Standing, Penny flees to her room. She can’t do this. Watching her mother kill herself with liquor is getting old. She doesn’t want to hear a lecture from her brother, either. And she never wants to talk to Luke Donovan.
Ever.
Slamming her door, she tears her robe from the hook on her closet door and undresses. Visions of Luke and Christy together pierce her soul.
Her feelings are irrational. Luke isn’t her boyfriend. He doesn’t owe her any explanations, and she doesn’t want to hear his apologies. But she can’t suppress the pain ripping her apart cell by cell.
She will never forget that Luke and Christy were having sex while she was being raped.
Climbing into the shower, she scrubs everything, hoping the horrid memories of that awful day will fade away. As her tears mingle with the hot water, she begs the scalding heat to melt her into oblivion. Even then, it won’t be enough.
She’s drowning with nothing but silence left to save her.