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“HEY, DONOVAN. I’M SORRY, bro, but you need to take your girl home. She’s starting fights. She’s a bitch when she’s been drinking, and my mom and dad’ll have a fit if she breaks anything this time.”
Sighing, I clap Justin Petri on the shoulder. “Yeah, I got her, man. Sorry.”
Placing my cup in the sink, I stalk toward my intoxicated girlfriend—in a heated argument with Kennedy Harper of all people.
I scowl at Chris. Jesus, what is up with this girl? I’ve been home for four days, and all she’s wanted to do is party. Apparently, she’s been hitting the scene hard since I left for college. In five months, her reputation went from queen bee to party queen. And starting fights? Is she trying to get her scholarship to Grand Valley State revoked?
All of a sudden, Chris dumps a bright red, fruity concoction down Kennedy’s dress and shrieks, “He’s mine, you dumb bitch! Stay away from him!”
What in the—
Pulling her away from the fray of girls ready to defend Kennedy, I hold Chris back. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Christy’s upper lip curls into a snarl. “That little slut still has a thing for you!”
I glare at Kennedy and purse my lips. Normally I wouldn’t give two shits. No way will I ever forget the horrible rumor this girl started about Penny. I’m only defending her because my girlfriend is out of control.
Placing Chris’ empty cup on the table, I take her by the shoulders. “You’ve had too much to drink. Time to go.” I guide her toward the bedrooms to get our coats.
Looking up at me with bloodshot eyes, she rubs against me. “That’s right, baby. You ready for me? I got what you need.”
Rolling my eyes, I steer her true. I highly doubt that. What I need is a girlfriend who isn’t a clinger. Or a drunk. Or a manipulative bitch.
I look at my watch and sigh. It’s only eight-fifteen. “Come on, Chris. We’d better get you home.”
I bundle her in her coat. Before carrying her to my car, I ask Justin for a plastic shopping bag. No way in hell am I cleaning her puke out of my front seat.
Thankfully, she falls asleep almost immediately.
Gripping the steering wheel, I stare at Christy intently. Why do I put up with this shit? Because my father expects me to marry someone worthy of a Donovan, and he’s convinced Chris is perfect. Fat chance of that. If he could see her now, he might change his mind.
Or not. Lately, the status of marrying a Mefford overshadows my dad’s other expectations of me. His prospects of seeing me become an Olympic athlete have dimmed with each competition, and his control over my life is weakening. He doesn’t get it. I can’t qualify for anything this year with junior Dane Thomas timing about two seconds faster than me. And you want to know the truth? I hate swimming. The college circuit is too cutthroat.
The last three meets, I ended up third in my events. I go to practices and do the mandatory work outs. I eat and drink what they tell me to. But I no longer want the dream. I don’t have the heart for the sport like I used to. Maybe I never did.
According to my dad, I only have one other option. Law school. I got the lecture the day I came home for winter break. If I’m not going to be an Olympic swimmer, I need to do something worthy of my name. And to the Donovan family, law school is as prestigious as you can get.
Although, I haven’t told Dad that I’ve changed my major from pre-law to criminology.
I didn’t make the decision lightly. I’ve been talking to Colt about it for months. The guy is in a tough place. Miranda is giving him hell because he wants to be a cop like his dad. Colt stood his ground. He’s going for the five-year master’s degree.
I totally get it, and I’ve signed up for the accelerated graduate program, too. For me, it’s more than personal. What Penny went through impacted me more than I realized. I want to do something to help victims of bullying, and law school isn’t enough.
Wait until Dad finds out I’m minoring in Women’s Studies. He’ll shit a brick for sure.
“Lukey, I’m thirsty.”
I glance at my girlfriend and wince. Her red lipstick is smeared across her cheeks, and her brown hair is mussed like she ran through one of those car wash blow dryers. Shit, this is what I have to look forward to the rest of my life, isn’t it? My father and Christy’s mother are pressuring me to put a ring on her finger. Besides the fact that we’re too young, I’m not feeling the love.
Again, to my father, it’s control. The last time Jamie was home—and after another fight about my so-called lack of direction—he gave me some somber advice. Do what Joe Donovan expects and reap the rewards later. I’m not sure it’s worth it. Jamie is the perfect son, but he doesn’t look happy about his lot in life. Is that what I want?
“Luke?”
“We’re almost there.” I pull into her gated driveway and enter the security code. The gates slide open. As I circle the drive, the snow falls steadily. I park, looking for Dr. and Mrs. Mefford’s car in the three-stall garage.
“They’re gone,” Christy slurs. “Hospital party.” She smiles at me seductively. “Wanna come up? We haven’t made love in two months.”
She leans over the console to unbutton my pants, and I scowl. The girl is insatiable. And clueless. I’m not attracted to the drunken party girl persona. Not that I’ve been interested in her for a while. Really, since our first breakup. I don’t have the same feelings for her that I’ve had in the past. I go through the motions because our parents expect it.
Jesus, I’m a pussy.
Grumbling, I exit the car, unbuckle her seatbelt, and carry her to the porch. I punch in the security code for the door and step inside. Stripping off her coat, I settle her upon the couch in the living room.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Resting her head on the arm of the sofa, she gives me her signature pout. “Take me to bed?”
I glance out the window and sigh. “Chris, I can’t. It’s snowing like hell, and I don’t wanna be trapped here all night.”
She traces a fingernail across her bottom lip. “Would that be so bad? Mom and Dad won’t care.”
Pecking her cheek, I shake my head. “You’re not sober. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Before she can protest, I race out the door to my car.
It’s practically a white out. My phone rings. I push the button on my steering column. “Yeah?”
“Luke, are you okay? There’s a winter storm warning in effect.”
No shit.
I flip my wipers on full speed and squint through the windshield. “I’m fine, Mom. I just dropped Chris off. I’m on my way home.”
“You haven’t been drinking, have you?”
“I’m good. I was the DD tonight. As always.”
My mother groans. “That girl. She’s going to get herself into trouble.”
Totally agree. We’ve had this conversation before. Christy seems to be on a path of self-destruction. She didn’t handle me leaving very well. Her grades aren’t good enough to get into Oakland U., and her parents are insisting she go to Grand Valley State since the school offered her the best scholarship—probably because it’s her mother’s alma mater.
I’m not bothered by that turn of events. What Christy needs is real-life experience away from the little bubble her parents have created for her, including relying on me. Maybe then she’ll grow up.
“I’m a couple minutes out, Mom. I’ll be home soon.”
“Be careful.”
The streetlights obscure my view as snowflakes hit the windshield faster than the wipers can clear them. Pulling into my driveway ten minutes later, I stuff my keys in my pocket and send up a prayer of thanks.
Just as I open the storm door, a squeal breaks the silence of the night. I whip around. Who the hell is stupid enough to be driving right now?
Running to the curb, I squint through the falling snow. The shadow of a lone car illuminated by the streetlights swerves to the left and then to the right. As a familiar Honda Civic emerges from the low visibility, I inhale sharply.
“Shit!” Miranda Ramsay’s drunk again. I run toward the vehicle, but it’s too late. The wheels slide across a patch of ice. A horrible crunch and pop detonate the silence as the car hits a snowbank, and in less than two seconds, the front end is totaled. The engine sputters and whirs, taking its final breath.
A groan lifts into the night air. As I catch a glimpse of familiar, honey-gold curls, my pulse ricochets against my neck. “Oh, God. It’s Penny!”
She staggers out of the vehicle. Adrenaline jump starts my limbs as I hit hero mode. All I need is a phone booth, and I’d have this down pat.
Unfortunately, I hit a patch of ice. Fuck, I can’t stop! Careening toward her like a sled dog on steroids, I brace myself for the impact. Pen’s eyes widen. Trying to protect her, I grab her around the waist and haul her against my chest, landing on my ass with an umpf.
Fuck, that hurt.
Real smooth, asshole.
I try to catch my breath as Penny rolls off me with a whimper. She slowly opens her eyes, but I refuse to let her go. Sitting on my elbow, I touch her face. “Jesus, Pen, are you hurt? Talk to me.”
She stares at me, confused. The streetlamps cast a bluish hue that spotlights her face, turning her jade irises to aquamarine. Her pupils dilate. My breath hitches.
Holy hell...
She squirms in my arms, and warmth spreads through my body. She tries to push away from me. I hug her tighter.
No. No way. I swore to God—and Colton—that I’d never let her fall again. After everything that went down last spring at prom, Colt and I are finally talking. I even visited him at U of M a few weekends ago. We’re in a good place, and I’ll be damned if I lose my best friend again.
Is it bad that I want her forgiveness too?
Sooty eyelashes blink rapidly against porcelain cheeks as she trembles in my arms. Crap, I need to focus. Is she injured? I cradle her head gently in the crook of my shoulder. “Relax, Pen. I can call an ambulance if you need one.”
Her back stiffens as her nostrils flare. “Let go of me, Donovan!”
Wow, totally misread that. She’s pissed. Releasing her, I settle her upon a soft pile of snow. “Look at me. Are you okay?”
Sitting up, she groans. “What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?”
As Penny glowers at me, heat rushes across the back of my neck. Yeah, best not to answer that question. I’ve done plenty of surveillance on her over the past year. Colt hardly talks about her, and since she doesn’t go to RHHS anymore, the only way I can keep her safe is to know where she is and what she’s doing. I’m not proud of myself, but I might have paid the Monroe twins to let me know when she babysits for them. And the Landry girl.
And the two geeks that are on the scholar bowl team with her at OBL Academy.
I brush a wayward curl from Pen’s eyes. “You must’ve hit a patch of black ice.”
Tears quiver at her eyelashes as she stares at what’s left of her mother’s old crap-heap. She lays her head in the snow and closes her eyes. Beautiful golden curls frame her heart-shaped face as she faces the sky like an innocent angel. My heart goes into overdrive.
She’s mesmerizing.
I press closer to her, the curve of her hip snugging against my hand. An otherworldly magnetic attraction takes control over the part of my brain that’s still functioning. But then my hero mode kicks in.
Picking her up, I cradle her in my arms. “You’re safe, Sunshine. I’ve got you.” Wrapping her arms around my neck, she buries her face in my coat and bursts into tears.
Shock filters through every cell of my body as old memories and a feeling of déjà vu resurface. The last time I saw Penny cry was at her dad’s funeral. Rocking her gently, I fork my fingers through her silky curls. She lifts her head and meets my gaze.
As my thumb brushes behind her ear, her lips part. Her tongue darts out, tracing her mouth. Tingles fly through me like wildfire. Every synapse in my brain ignites. My pulse thumps incessantly.
Holy fuck, when did this girl grow up? I want to kiss her. I need to taste her. For the first time in my life, I forget she’s my best friend’s baby sister.
Groaning, I lower my head.
With a giant shove, she bolts out of my arms and crawls to her knees before standing. Cursing my stupidity, I follow suit. Probably better that nothing happened. How would I explain something like that to Colton?
I smooth one of her curls. “Talk to me, Pen. Do you need to go to the hospital? I can drive you there.”
The whites of her eyes nearly swallow her pupils. “Stay away from me Donovan!”
Okay, no to that. Honestly, she seems shaken, but otherwise fine. As she stares at her smashed vehicle, I wrap an arm around her shoulder, just wanting to be near her. “Take a deep breath. Everything will be alright.”
She sighs. “Miranda’s gonna kill me. Is it drivable?”
I stifle a laugh. The entire front end of the car looks like a mangled pretzel resting on the curb. “I doubt it. You hit the snowbank pretty hard.” Better than the light pole. Or a tree. I’m not sure what I’d do if she’d been seriously injured.
Hasn’t she been already?
Her voice trembles. “It’s the only car we have.”
“So? You’ll get it fixed. Shit like this happens all the time. Your mother isn’t working.” I scoff. “If she’d sober up, she could—”
Penny pushes my arm off her shoulder and stomps to the back of her car. She grabs her book bag and two grocery sacks. Slamming the door shut, she locks the driver’s side before striding off like a woman scorned.
A strange mix of anger and desire roar through me as I stare at her retreating backside. To hell with this. After the shit night I’ve had, I’m ready for a fight.
I storm after her. “You’re fucking kidding, right? I save your ass again, and you just take off without anything? Not even a thank you?”
“Leave me alone,” she snarls.
I jump in front of her and grab one of the bags of groceries before blocking her path. “Not until you tell me why you won’t acknowledge me. I’ve tried to help you for years, and you’ve completely blown me off. Why the hell do you hate me so much?” I lift my chin defiantly. “I can stand here all night, babe.”
Her scowl goes from irritated to downright deadly. She stabs a finger in my pecs, and her eyes go wide as she hits solid muscle. I smirk. The one benefit to college sports. Lots of weight training.
Pulling away from me she stamps her foot. “You wanna know why I hate you, Donovan? You’re a Division One, Class A jerk! The fact that I have to explain it to you proves how far up your hind end your head has gone.” She barks a dry laugh. “What should I expect? The Golden Boy can’t even keep his girlfriend on a tight leash. Worse, you’ll probably marry the witch. Serves you right.”
What the hell? Despite Christy’s lack of good judgment lately, I can’t help but defend her. “She’s never done a damn thing to you! She ratted out her own cousin to help you!”
“Bullshit!” Her scream echoes through the cold, snowy air.
My breath hitches as I step out of her personal space. Jesus, what was that? She’s never spoken to me like this. We’ve never had a conversation that lasted longer than a few minutes. Come to think of it, this is the most she’s ever engaged me.
It’s exhilarating as hell.
Staring me down, she bites out, “You want to know the truth about the so-called love of your life? She’s a bully, just like her cousin. Christy’s the one who set up the Homecoming incident. Brandon, all of it. Hannah was just her tool.”
Shock pings against me like sonar. Sure, Chris can be possessive, but she wouldn’t do something so heinous. I scoff. “You’re crazy.”
“So, I just imagined her cornering me at work and warning me to stay away from you?”
My mouth goes dry as I shake my head vigorously. “I’ve been dating her for three years. She wouldn’t do anything like that.” Although she did threaten Kennedy Harper not an hour ago. I clench my fists. Why do I feel the need to defend Chris when she’s shown the signs of instability that Penny has mentioned over the last few years?
“If you weren’t so blind, you might see the truth about your precious angel. Have you ever checked her computer? Do it. I dare you. She’s got every one of those pictures and the video they took of me. She admitted it. And she has my journal. You wanna know why I ignore you, Luke? I don’t want my family’s secrets plastered across the internet!”
I roll my eyes. So that’s what this is about. I’ve heard all about that stupid journal from Kennedy and Christy. And I’m sick of it. A growl rips from my throat. “Jesus, this is ridiculous. You’re jealous of my girlfriend.”
Her eyes narrow. “Seriously?”
“You always have been. You’ve had some stupid schoolgirl crush on me since seventh grade.” Penny’s eyes widen as a gasp leaves her lips in a frozen cloud. I hum. “Yeah, Chris told me. I can’t believe I’m standing here talking with you about this stupid high school crap. Can’t you get it through your head? We’re just friends.” I’m so angry right now, I’m just throwing shit out there. Might as well go all out. “Grow the fuck up, Ramsay.”
Jerking back, Penny pulls her coat tighter across her shoulders. She holds her head high and gives me a fake smile that chills me to the bone. “Let me enlighten you, Luke Donovan. Despite what you’ve heard that so-called crush never was. And friends? Hardly. Friends don’t kick each other when they’re down. So, I’ll make this easy on you.” Stepping into my personal space, she rips the bag of groceries from my arms. “Don’t contact me anymore. Don’t knock on my door. Don’t save me. I don’t need you. Since I’m nothing but a stupid schoolgirl, just leave. Me. The. Hell. Alone!” She spins on her heels and stalks away.
Holy shit!
Flabbergasted, I stand there watching her curvy backside sway with a confidence I’ve never witnessed. Her reaction to my knowledge about her crush was telling. It’s obviously the truth. Is she hurt? Of course. And she probably feels betrayed. I would if someone revealed my most private thoughts.
I pinch the bridge of my nose as the acid in my stomach roils. “Fuck, I’m a dumbass.” Of course, she shot back, claiming we were never friends. My verbal diarrhea wasn’t helpful at all.
Why does that hurt more than it should?
Because I’m horny as hell, and Penny Ramsay’s the reason.
Desire has my body in a chokehold as my gaze follows her down the street. Reaching her house, she unlocks her door and disappears inside without looking back.
Damn, she’s changed. She isn’t that shy little girl anymore. She’s smart as hell, articulate, and absolutely gorgeous.
And it scares me to death.
What if she’s telling the truth about Christy?
That scares me even more.
Removing a small gold band from my wallet, I pass a finger over the tiny diamond in the center. A promise ring. The next big step. I’ve had it for four days, waiting for the right time to give it to Chris. My father and Mrs. Mefford want me to make everything official with her. To bond our families once and for all.
Stuffing it in my pocket, I stalk toward my house, my mind whirring with the accusations Penny has made. I’m not sure what the truth is, but I have to find out before I make the biggest mistake of my life.
*****
Nine Months Later
This is the private journal of Penny Elaine Ramsay. Do not read!!
SEPTEMBER 11, 2010
This is it. My final year of high school. Actually, my final semester. With the help of my school guidance counselor, I’ve been taking online AP classes during the summer. Officially, I will graduate in December.
And then what?
I don’t have any plans, but I’m determined to get out of here. I probably won’t get into U of M like Colt did. My freshman year stuck at home really knocked my GPA. In the next few weeks, I’ll be signing up for scholarships. Thankfully, I have plenty of options. College is just a year down the road. I’m almost there.
I want to major in psychology. After dealing with all my crap over the years, I’ve decided I want to help victims heal from trauma.
Yeah, yeah... I hate my therapists, right? I’m such a hypocrite. Better to admit I was wrong than remain stubborn. Ms. Price is thrilled. She agrees. She thinks I was meant to be a psychologist.
And that’s what I’m going to do.