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TWO YEARS LATER
Christmas Day, 2014
“Hey, Sis. Scoop some stuffing on here, would ya? That’s my favorite.”
Smiling, Penny goes to the small buffet they’ve laid out in her mother’s hospital room and heaps a large helping of food on her brother’s plate. Monitors beep all around them, and she gazes at her mother with pity.
Miranda Ramsay remains hooked up to numerous machines. After years of damaging her liver with alcohol, her body has succumbed to cancer. Chemotherapy isn’t helping, and dialysis is a daily thing. Her once pale skin is now a putrid shade the color of summer squash because her organs are failing.
“Mother, would you like ham or turkey?”
Apparently not in a festive mood, Miranda glares at her. A coughing fit wracks her body as she sputters, “You’re supposed to be on a diet, Penelope.”
Colton gives Penny a grim smile. Fluffing Miranda’s pillows, he says, “Come on, Ma. It’s Christmas. Leave her alone. Aren’t you hungry?”
Filling her plate, Penny sits in the farthest chair, ignoring her mother’s rude comments. Not that they’ve had a real holiday for years. In fact, she can’t remember the last time they put up a Christmas tree. The food they’d bought from the supermarket deli isn’t the best, but at least they’re together. She hasn’t seen her brother since the summer.
Miranda stares at him like he’s the only one in the room. Touching his face, she rasps, “You look like your father. Have I ever told you that? So handsome.”
The familiar ache of rejection and loneliness blasts through Penny. Focusing on her food, she lets them have their moment. It isn’t Colt’s fault he’s the favorite. Most of the time, he can’t stand to be around Miranda any more than Penny can. But he’s a good guy and deserves all the love and respect he gets.
After spending a year in New Orleans and another in Sacramento, he asked to be reassigned to Detroit because Miranda isn’t well. They aren’t sure what her long-term prognosis is, but Penny can’t stay. Recently, she took a TA position to earn her master’s in clinical psychology and has to return to the U.P. by the first of January. Fortunately, her brother will be here to help.
Setting her fork aside, she wipes her mouth. “So, Colt. Are you settling into your new apartment?”
With a mouthful of food, he shrugs. “It’s kind of bare. I haven’t unpacked yet. I need some furniture. The junk I hauled from our old place finally collapsed.”
Penny laughs. When she’d moved to Ann Arbor, they’d gone to the thrift store to buy some items just to tide them over. “I can’t believe you were still using that crap.”
“No big deal. It did the job.” His dimple pops in his cheek. “What about you? You still have that piece of shit car?”
“It gets me from point A to point B, big brother. Besides, it’s a—”
Interrupting, Miranda clears her throat. “I saw Ryan’s mother the other day.”
Colton freezes, and Penny stares at her with a murderous gaze. Apparently, Miranda wasn’t happy being left out of their conversation. But this subject has been off-limits for years. “Mother...”
Ignoring Penny, Miranda continues. “He and Holly got married in September. It was a lavish affair, of course.”
Colton’s nostrils flare. “Why the hell should I care?”
Right before his college graduation, Colton’s long-time girlfriend, Holly Moore, had done the cruelest thing a person ever could. She’d slept with Colton’s roommate and friend from high school, Ryan Connors. Colton had spent a year working two jobs while getting his degree just to buy her a ring. The night he was planning to propose, he’d found Ryan and Holly in bed together.
The woman had ripped out his heart and accepted Ryan’s proposal instead.
Miranda tsks. “Come, now. It could have been you! She was such a lovely girl.”
Penny stands next to her bed. “Mother, this isn’t appropriate.”
Baring her teeth, Miranda scowls. “How would you know? You’ve never had a relationship with a man. Just because you have some fancy shrink degree doesn’t mean you know a damn thing about love.” She turns back to Colton. “Holly was good for you. If you weren’t so caught up in the stupid shit happening at home—” she shoots a glare Penny’s way “—you two might have had a chance. You still love her.”
Colton bursts up. “The hell I do. After all this time, you think I can still love someone as manipulative as that woman? Jesus, Mother!”
“It’s Christmas! Don’t take the Lord’s name, damnit.” Miranda’s coughing fit throws off her heart monitors, and as the nurses rush in to adjust things, Colton backs away.
Grabbing his coat, he shakes his head. “Merry Christmas, Sis.” He storms out the door.
Penny runs after him. As he strides toward the elevators with purpose, she cries, “Colt!”
He halts. His head hangs low as he turns around. The elevator opens. He doesn’t move. Tears wobble at his bottom eyelids as his lips purse. Fear wraps around her heart. Colt is the strong one. Her hero. It hurts to see him so vulnerable.
She hurries to his side. “Don’t listen to Miranda. She’s old and bitter. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”
She leads him into a family visiting room just down the hall before he loses it altogether. Occupying one of the private cubicles, she sits next to him on the lounger and wraps her arms around him. His body shakes. As she holds him, a deep ache pierces her heart. The last time she’d seen her brother cry was at their father’s funeral.
“I’m so sorry, Colt.”
Drying his eyes, he shakes his head. “It isn’t your fault. What happened between me and Holly? I hope you know that. You’ve dealt with your fair share of crap with Ma... she’s just talking out of her ass.”
“I know.” The one thing Miranda knows how to do is gut a person’s soul and tear them apart from the inside. Penny squeezes his knee. “There’s a reason we got out of there, remember? This isn’t any different.”
“Yeah? What the hell am I supposed to do when you go back to school? How am I gonna deal with her on my own?”
Holding her head high, Penny presses her lips together. She’s placed herself on the back burner for years. She won’t do it anymore. “I can’t stay here, Colt.”
His eyes widen. “No! Hell, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” He sighs. “We’ll get through it. I’m only half an hour away from her. I’ll check on dad’s pension stuff again. She still receives his health benefits. After we find out what her tests show, I’m sure we’ll be able to hire a nurse or something.”
Penny grips his hands. “Thank you. For the record, you deserve someone better than Holly. You know that, don’t you? You’re a good guy. And you’ll be a terrific dad someday.” Upon his return to Detroit, and with his partner’s encouragement, Colt became a Big Brother to a ten-year-old boy. He rocks it. He’s made to be a dad.
He barks a laugh. “I’m not planning on marriage or kids for a long time, Sis.” His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he frowns. “It’s David.” He answers. “Hey, Cross. Merry Christmas, man.” As Colt listens to his partner, his face runs the gamut of emotions from confusion to irritation to disgust. Finally, he says, “Yeah, I got it. Give me a few hours, and I’ll be in.”
Penny’s stomach drops as he ends his call. She squeezes his hand. “You have to go, don’t you?”
He kisses her cheek and stands. “Cross and I are on call this season. Something’s come up. I’ll let you know where I am once I find out the details.”
Standing, she wraps her arms around the only person who has loved her unconditionally. “I love you, Colt.”
Kissing the top of her head, he returns her embrace. “Love you too, Sis. Will you be okay with Mom?”
She gives him a lopsided grin. She isn’t that scared little girl anymore. And Miranda can’t hurt her. “I’ve got this.”
As her brother walks out of the cubicle and to the elevator, Penny steels herself for the fight to come. There is no way in hell she’s going to let Miranda get away with acting like such a witch.
Stalking back to her mother’s room with purpose, she pushes through the door and sighs. The monitors are beeping steadily. The lights are dimmed low. Her mother is fast asleep.
Tucking the blanket around Miranda’s petite form, she sinks into the chair next to the bed.
It will have to wait until tomorrow.
*****
ONE WEEK LATER
“Come on. Pick up, Colt!”
With her phone pressed to her ear, Penny paces the living room of her mother’s house, not at all happy to still be here. Talk about the week from hell. Her holiday vacation has turned into a nightmare.
Miranda’s cancer has spread from her liver to most of her organs, including her pancreas. There is no good outcome. The doctors have recommended hospice to keep her comfortable, but at this rate, she won’t make it six months.
The phone continues to ring, and Penny sighs. She’s spent all week contacting medical professionals and setting up nursing home care for Miranda. Fortunately, Colt was right. Her mother still draws from their father’s pension, and it includes complete medical coverage with extended care. But with the holiday season, it’s been difficult to find a place to admit her.
Static clicks in her ear, and her brother growls, “Come on, Cross. I’m driving. Give me a break!”
“Colt, it’s me.”
“Penny?”
“Who’s Penny? Is she your girlfriend?”
Penny grins as a child’s voice filters through the speaker. Colt chuckles. “She’s my baby sister. Pen, say hi to my new bud, Jackson.”
“She doesn’t sound like a baby.”
At the little boy’s indignant reply, Penny laughs. She isn’t sure what Colt is doing in the Western U.P., but evidently he’s found himself another little brother. “Nice to meet you, Jackson. It sounds like you two are busy.”
Colt huffs. “Nah. We just got in. Guess what I did today, Sis?”
Penny smiles. He sounds happy. “Hopefully, you didn’t kidnap a child.”
Colt barks a laugh. “Of course not. Jackson taught me how to ski, didn’t you bud?”
“Yep! He did good.” The sound of a car door echoes through the speaker.
“Heya, I’ll call you back in a sec, okay?”
As the call ends, Penny paces her mother’s living room nervously. With the new semester starting next week, she needs to return to Marquette. She hasn’t talked to her brother since he left the hospital last week. He’d sent her a brief text telling her he had to go to the Upper Peninsula for a case. That was it.
Her phone rings.
Thank God.
“Hello?”
“Pen, you there? Sorry about that. I’m watching my friend’s little boy for the day.”
Her heart soars. There was no mistaking it. Her brother’s tone is chipper. She hums. “Just a friend, huh?”
He sighs. “Yes, that’s all. What’s up?”
Sinking onto the couch, she says, “I wanted to update you on Mom. She’s stable. They moved her into a nursing home this afternoon.” She hesitates. “They called in hospice. The cancer, it’s everywhere.”
Silence fills the air. Finally, he says, “Shit. How long does she have?”
“A few months or so. She’s comfortable.”
“Good.” He clears his throat. “I know it’s been tough. I appreciate you getting her settled. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help.”
Raking her fingers through her curls, she closes her eyes. “When will you be home?” More silence. That can’t be good. “Colton?”
“I’m not sure,” he mutters “This is a tough case. I’m stuck here until it’s finished. When do your classes start?”
“Next week.” She takes a deep breath. She’s leaving no matter what, but her brother needs to hear some things. “Look, I know our family hasn’t been the same since Dad died. Mom’s battle with alcoholism hasn’t helped. But promise me you’ll make it back here in time to say goodbye to her.” Still nothing. She swallows hard. “You left so quickly...”
“Jesus, you really think she cares?” he growls. “Look at the shit she pulled at Christmas. She just couldn’t leave it alone, could she?”
Damn Miranda Ramsay to hell. She never liked her daughter, but Colton has always been her perfect boy. And now she’s ruined that relationship, too.
Penny sighs. “I know. And I gave her heck. She shouldn’t have mentioned Holly or her wedding.”
“It isn’t the first time Ma’s said that shit to me. I will never be good enough for her, Pen. Ever.”
Penny blinks in surprise. Apparently, he hasn’t had as good a relationship with their mother as she thought. She huffs a sigh. “Join the club. She still rags on me for being a fat girl who doesn’t have a chance in hell of finding a man. Believe me, Colt. I’ve felt the brunt of her bitterness for years.”
“Christ, I didn’t realize she still does that to you, Pen. She’s such a bitch! Why do you let her get away with it?”
Penny shrugs. “I take the high road and just ignore the behavior. At one time, I ran away, too... just like you’re doing now. But I came back to face my demons.”
He snorts indignantly. “I’m not running away. I’m on assignment.”
Crossing her arms, she teases, “Oh yeah? David stopped by the hospital yesterday. He said you volunteered to stay up there because you met a woman. Your new friend perhaps?”
His huff hisses through the speaker. “It’s complicated. Her name is Kyra. She’s one of the people we interviewed, and we hit it off. We went out the other night.”
Penny grins. It’s more than she could have hoped for. Her brother deserves as much happiness as she does. “It’s long overdue.”
“You better believe it.”
She takes a deep breath. This isn’t easy. A year ago, she had to come to terms with her own issues with her mother for her own peace of mind. Colton needs to do the same. “I’m not asking you to say goodbye for Mom. It’s all for you. You’ll never forgive yourself if she dies and there’s still bad blood between you two.”
He chuckles. “You’re psychoanalyzing me again, Sis. You promised not to do that.”
“I know. But just this once, would you please humor me?”
Colt heaves a sigh. “As soon as I get the okay from Charlie to wrap things up, I’ll head home. Keep me updated, alright?”
“You bet. Love you, Colt. Happy New Year.”
“Love you, too, Sis.”
Standing, she wanders from room to room, completely at a loss about where to start dismantling her childhood home. With Miranda going into a nursing home, they agreed to sell the house. It isn’t going to be an easy task. There are almost thirty years of memories that need to be handled.
And Penny isn’t looking forward to reliving them.
Rolling up her sleeves, she grabs an empty box from the kitchen and begins sorting things. She may as well try to get something accomplished before her brother returns.