Luke

MAY 2015

“Hey, man. I just got in. You won’t believe this. The flights are all grounded in Chicago until this weather lets up.”

“What the hell, Donovan? The wedding starts in seven hours!”

I pinch the bridge of my nose as my best friend—my brother from another mother—yells through the phone. Can I help it if my last field test to pass the rigorous Bureau academy lasted eight hours yesterday? It had been scheduled for the Monday before, and I thought I had plenty of time. Unfortunately, there were setbacks with my batch of recruits.

And I don’t control the weather.

I sigh. “I’m sorry. It was a hell of a day yesterday. I got the earliest flight I could. I’m at the car rental now. I’ll be on the road in twenty.”

A hiss crackles through the speaker. “Yeah, okay. Get here when you can. I’ll have your tux at the resort’s chapel.”

“See you soon, man.” I rush toward the compact sedan I’ve rented and swerve onto the highway as quickly as the law and the unending rain allows. Four hours to Lake St. Clair? Sure. I can do this. No problem.

It’d be easier with my Bureau badge.

The closing ceremonies for my class of recruits is next week. I’ll get my badge and my title—Agent Luke Donovan—along with my new assignment. I signed up for the Dallas/Fort Worth or San Francisco offices, anywhere that takes me as far from Detroit as possible.

Those cities seem to be the hot spots for human trafficking at the moment, and that’s where I want to be. In Dallas, I can do extra training to help me achieve my Field Specialist promotion quicker. That’s my end goal. With that position, I can get into the nitty gritty of sexual crimes and hopefully squash them in the process. I owe it to her, and damnit, I’m going to do it.

Penny.

As I settle into the drive, I swallow hard. This is it. My last chance to make things right with her. After sitting back for four years and watching her from a distance, I’ll finally get to see her face to face.

The little information I’ve gotten about her is fleeting. About a year ago, she bit the bullet and made a Facebook profile. It was the happiest day of my life.

I haven’t gotten much information from it except she’s getting her master’s degree in Clinical Psychology. Her profile picture is a side view of her blond curls, and nothing else. She never posts pictures, and she rarely shares anything. She only has seventy-eight friends, most of them people from the Upper Peninsula. More than likely, she made an account because more schools and workplaces are communicating and forming groups through the social media giant.

Gripping the wheel harder, I try to calm my racing heart. It was inevitable that I’d see her again. After my grandfather’s funeral, I began making my plans. I’ve had all the time in the world to think about how this will go down. But now, I’m going all the way. I’m planning on telling Penny how I feel about her.

My mother’s encouragement has helped. She wants to see us together. The problem? Colton Ramsay.

I haven’t mentioned my feelings to Colt, for good reason. The guy is still as overprotective of his baby sister as he’s always been. Penny is a grown woman, but he can’t see her as anything but that troubled young girl. He worries about her living off-campus alone. He never talks about her friends or a boyfriend. But his context while mentioning her always holds undertones of fatherly concern.

And that’s what scares me the most. In high school, he trusted me to champion Penny, to protect her when he couldn’t. At the time, I was fine with being her honorary older brother.

But years of trying to make amends for the past have warped that scenario. I haven’t seen her in years, but I fantasize about her all the time.

Has she changed?

“I guess we’ll find out.”

*****

SIX HOURS LATER, I pull up to the Bayside Resort. I drove eighty the whole way. My nerves are frayed. It’s raining like hell and skirting through Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor during storm warnings wasn’t fun.

Climbing out of the car, I grab my duffle bag and head for the lobby. As David Cross, Colton’s groomsman, meets me at the front doors, he leads me to the chapel and hands me a tux. “I’m glad you’re here, man. Ramsay’s losing it.”

“Sorry I’m late. Rain... traffic.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get dressed. The ceremony begins in forty-five minutes. The men’s dressing room is to the left. Find us in the groom’s waiting area. I’ll let Ramsay know you’re here.”

Taking the suit from David’s hands, I burst through the doors of the men’s dressing room. The smell of Axe hits me in the face.

Throwing my duffle on the floor with everyone else’s things, I quickly step out of my jeans and don the stiff polyester pants. The fancy white shirt follows. As I tug a light green paisley vest over the top of it, I take the black coat from the hanger, shrug into it, and button it. I find my Oxfords in my bag and wipe a sleeve across the top. It will have to do. I haven’t had time to sleep in the last twenty-four hours, let alone shine anything.

Running my fingers through my messy hair, I smell my armpits. I barely took a shower before I left this morning. Digging through my shaving kit, I reapply deodorant and spritz a bit of Armani on my lapel. I glance in the mirror and sigh.

I’m just wasting time.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door. “I can do this.”

Music emanates from the front of the chapel as a four-string quartet tunes their instruments. Low hums echo from everywhere. I stalk down the hall. “Where the hell are they?”

Choosing a random door on the right, I knock and enter.

I glance around the room in confusion as I spy a vanity filled with various girly items along with empty hangers and dressing bags. Exotic smells of vanilla, coconut, and even cinnamon filter through my senses. Wow... guys’ and girls’ dressing rooms really are different.

Someone clears their throat.

I scan the small sitting room adjoining the dressing area—and glance up in surprise. Miranda Ramsay sits in a wheelchair looking as old as my grandmother. Jeez, Mom wasn’t kidding... the woman has aged significantly in the last few years.

As a nurse stands behind her and gives me a friendly smile, I bow my head. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Ramsay. I thought this was the groom’s waiting room.”

Her gravelly voice bounces off the tall ceilings as she snarls, “It’s at the front of the building, Donovan. You’d know that if you’d been on time.”

I give her a sheepish grin. One thing about Colt’s mother—she’s brutally honest and doesn’t mince words. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”

With a dismissive wave, Miranda sniffs. “It doesn’t matter. Kyra’s matron of honor didn’t get here until last night, either.” She shifts in her seat. “Now that you’re both here, let’s get this thing going before I die waiting.”

Gripping the doorknob, I give her a curt nod. Miranda Ramsay certainly hasn’t changed.

A small gasp and the crinkling of fabric emanates from the far corner of the room. I glance over and do a double take.

My gaze captures a woman I don’t recognize. Jesus, she’s gorgeous. Her dark blond hair is pulled back stylishly into a low bun at the back of her head. The floor-length sage green gown made of some lightweight material hugs her curves perfectly. Her bare toes wiggle against the carpet as she shifts uncomfortably under my stare.

I clear my throat. “Er, sorry. I didn’t see you there?”

Pulling a pair of glasses from the side table, she places them on her face before arching an eyebrow. Rage settles in familiar, jade-colored eyes. All of a sudden it hits me.

Holy shit... Penny?

Every synapse of every nerve in my body fires, sending jolts of desire through me. I swallow hard. Fuck, she’s changed, for sure. I hardly recognize her. She’s grown into a stunning woman, one I’m not sure I’m worthy of.

Pulling at my tie, I look at the clock. I can feel her intense gaze piercing my heart. I didn’t think it would be so difficult facing her again.

Grabbing the doorknob like a lifeline, I mutter, “I’d better find Colton. It was nice to see you, Mrs. Ramsay.” Like a nervous schoolboy, I duck my head and exit as quickly as I can.

Once outside the door, I grip the chair railing to keep from falling over. I close my eyes and swallow every emotion stirred up from seeing her.

I’m not ready.

“Thank Christ, you’re finally here. Come on! The pastor is waiting for us in the wedding tent.”

As Colt’s voice booms down the hallway, I inhale deeply. I can do this. It’s just one night, right?

*****

“YOU MAY NOW KISS THE bride!”

As the violins launch into the familiar wedding march, Colton takes his new wife in his arms and does just that.

I snap out of my reverie, my heart pounding against my chest like I just finished a marathon. The ceremony is over. Finally. Not that I don’t wish my best friend well, but I’ve hardly been present. I spent the entire service staring at his hot-as-sin baby sister.

I sweep my fingers through my hair, guilt attacking me from all sides. Jesus, I’m a horrible friend.

Colt scoops up Kyra’s son Jackson and kisses him on the cheek, and the three of them—now a family—proceed down the aisle. Penny’s face lights up as she watches the happy couple kiss. My breath hitches. Her warmth spreads through me.

There’s my Sunshine.

The attendants line up to take their turn. As I wait for Kyra’s matron of honor to get in line, I frown. The woman whispers something in Penny’s ear and takes David’s arm instead.

Penny’s smile disappears. Her eyes narrow. Glancing at me, she presses her lips together. Her throat bobs as she swallows.

My body immediately responds. Jesus, she was a vision the last time I saw her. But this? She’s a fucking goddess.

The bridal party dwindles, leaving only Penny and me at the front. Extending my elbow, I hold her gaze. “Looks like it’s you and me.”

She doesn’t speak. She wrinkles her nose, the adorable gesture blasting me back to the past. Her fingers graze my tux coat as she holds on with two fingers like it’s the most disgusting act in the world.

I chuckle. “What’s wrong? Do I stink?” I raise my free arm and sniff my armpit. Nope... still okay.

Rolling her eyes, she huffs. “For God’s sake, do you have to act like a child?”

Strike one. “Huh. At least you’re speaking to me.”

Slowly, we stroll out the front of the wedding canopy into the open air. A slight breeze kicks up, the calm after the rains, and her soft, exotic scent drifts over me. My body responds again. Shit, am I going to be able to make it through this party without embarrassing myself?

She still hasn’t said a word. I stuff my hands in my pockets. “So... nothing?”

A soft sigh leaves her berry-colored lips. “What do you want from me Donovan?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe a hello? How’re you doing? Long time, no see?”

“Ditto,” she grounds out. She drops my arm and takes a step away.

I deserve that. I acted like an idiot when I saw her. Of course, I didn’t know it was her at first.

And then I freaked because it was her.

The wedding planner, a young woman with more make-up than a model during fashion week, claps her hands. “Bridal party, over here. It’s picture time!”

She winks at me. I shift uncomfortably. Earlier, she’d made it more than clear she was interested.

I stare at the woman, and then turn my gaze to Penny, watching her brother deliver his new son to the photographer in complete Frankenstein style. Penny’s jade eyes sparkle as a smile spreads across her cheeks. Light illuminates her face, blocking out anyone else in the vicinity.

And all of a sudden, she giggles.

My damn heart stalls at the glorious sound. I haven’t heard her laugh since she was a child. I sidle up next to her, close enough that she won’t feel personally invaded. I just have to be near her. “He’s going to be a great dad.”

Again, silence. A myriad of emotions pass across her beautiful features, proving just how complex this woman really is. As her smile disappears, tears well at her long, sooty eyelashes.

I sigh. “Come on, Sunshine. I’m trying to break the ice. Your silent treatment isn’t helping.”

She whips around, anger turning her emerald orbs deadly. “For your information, I’m not being passive aggressive. I’m merely lost in my thoughts. I don’t know why you expect me to acknowledge you when you didn’t give me the same respect.”

She crosses her arms over her ample bosom, her perfect cleavage popping. My fucking body defies me once again. Jesus, if I don’t get control, my hard-on will be front and center in Colt’s wedding pictures. I’ll never live that down.

Loosening my tie, I clear my throat. “I’m sorry. I was running late. Truthfully? I didn’t realize it was you at first.”

She arches an eyebrow. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

I pull at one of the gorgeous curls artfully straying at the side of her temple. “It’s been four years. Your hair is different. Longer and tamer.”

“That’s so lame, Donovan.”

I hold her gaze, every emotion I’ve harbored for her growing with every second. It finally hits me. That’s why I’m not interested in anyone else, why I haven’t dated much since Christy. My mother was right. I can’t get Penny out of my mind because my heart has always been hers.

Breaking contact, she stops one of the hotel staff serving drinks and grabs a champagne flute. She sips it slowly, taking in the crowd, and I can’t help but stare.

How am I supposed to do this? The first thing I need to do is apologize for everything that had happened in high school. But is that a good idea? Judging by her current posture, she’s on the defensive. And Colt’s already warned me not to discuss the past.

She glances at my hand. “So, where’s your fiancée? Or is she your wife now? I’m not sure Christy would like you talking to me.”

Holy fuck. She doesn’t know? How could she not? Has she spent the last five years in a damn bubble? Christy’s humiliation—she’d told everyone we were getting engaged—at the infamous Christmas party was the biggest gossip of Rochester Hills for months.

Throwing my legs wide, I cross my arms. “Seriously? I haven’t seen Mefford in a long time. We broke up two years ago.” I cock my head. “Where have you been?”

The whites of her eyes swallow her irises as she chokes on her drink. “What?”

I scoff, a little more than pissed. I’ve spent the last several years obsessing about her daily, and she’s pushed aside my memory like an afterthought. I scowl. “You didn’t know? I find that hard to believe.”

Her lips purse. “You think I’m pining away, wondering what the Golden Boy has done with his life?”

Is that how she still sees me? I grip the lapels of my jacket and take a step back. Maybe this is a mistake. She obviously still has a hang-up about everything that happened. “Forget I said anything.”

She pushes those sexy, black-rimmed glasses up her nose and gives me a frosty stare. “We hardly know each other, Luke. Can you honestly say you know what I’ve been doing the last four years? Or that you care?”

Jesus, my name sounds so sweet upon her pouty lips. Puffing out my chest, I tip my chin up. “Yeah, I do. After graduating from Our Benevolent Lady a semester early, you spent two years at Washtenaw Community College earning your associates in psychology before transferring to Northern Michigan University. You just finished your bachelor’s degree, you’re about to start your masters, and you love Yooper life.”

I give her a smug grin as she stares at me in a daze. That’s right, baby. I had to dig and dig to find that information. It stings that she has no clue what I’ve been up to. Or that she hasn’t cared to find out.

Her shoulders stiffen and her gaze narrows as she lifts her chin defiantly. “Colt could have rattled that off in passing.”

Ah, yes. There’s my girl. Always has to have the last word. As I go to respond, my chest deflates. I don’t want to do this with her. I want to make amends and build something more lasting with her.

I press my fingers against my eye sockets and sigh. “Look, I’m trying to make nice. Can’t we just forget everything that happened in the past?”

Her shoulders relax as she releases a little snort. “You make it sound so easy.”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “I thought you might have gotten a little closure since Hannah’s death.”

A gasp escapes Penny’s mouth as she drops her glass. It hits the grass, covering her painted toes in champagne. Sweat beads across her brow as she places a trembling hand to her temple. “Oh my God! Hannah’s dead?”

Dread filters through my body like the venom of a rattlesnake. “Shit... I thought you knew.” Taking her aside, I whisper, “She committed suicide four months ago.”

Her face blanches. Her hands tremble at her sides. As her breathing accelerates, she sways and stumbles forward. I wrap my arms around her, holding her upright. “Pen? Jesus, are you alright?” She goes limp in my arms. My pulse jumps against my throat.

Fuck, she’s going to pass out.

As the photographer takes pictures of the bride and groom, I guide Penny to a nearby bench. Curls escape the confines of her tight bun as she buries her head against my chest.

Handing her flowers to one of the other attendants, Cat hurries to our side. “What’s wrong with her?”

I shake my head, fearful that I’ve broken her. Why did I just blurt it out?

“Now we need the bride’s attendants! Matron of Honor first...”

I glance at the photographer. “I’ve got her, Cat. Just stall them, okay? I’ll take care of her.” Always. Penny heaves in slow, deep breaths. She’s trying to get control of herself. I kiss her temple. “That’s good, Pen. Just breathe.”

Her eyes dart to the other side of the resort. “I have to get out of here.”

“Just sit here for a minute.” Smoothing her curls, I feel every emotion for this amazing woman rise to the surface. This is what I want.

I. Want. Her.

She lifts her head and stares past me. As people glance in our direction, she grasps her pinkening cheeks. “Luke, please, it’s too much...”

My father’s heated gaze skewers me from across the pavilion. I glare right back. I’m not about to listen to another damn lecture that Penny Ramsay isn’t good enough for a Donovan.

Shielding her from the stares of nosy guests, I press her head to my shoulder. “Sh. It’s okay.”

Tears stream down her cheeks. “No, it isn’t! Hannah’s dead! Why?”

I lower my voice. “She’d been in and out of a mental institution for a few years. I guess she couldn’t handle it anymore.”

“I-I can’t believe it!”

Penny sobs harder, and my heart shatters. How is it possible that this girl can feel this much for a person that had tormented her so horribly? I couldn’t believe it when my mother told me about it either, but merely because it was so unexpected.

“It shocked me, too.” Lacing my fingers with hers, I kiss the tips. “In the wake of it, it’s time to bury the past, don’t you think?”

She blows her nose on my sleeve and freezes. “What?”

This was it. The moment I’ve been fantasizing about for three long years. I take a deep breath. “This feud... it’s gone on long enough. We’ve been arguing for years about crap we have no control over. Hannah’s gone. It’s time to move on and forget the past. We can’t do anything about it now, Pen.”

Her body stiffens against mine. Crimson stains bleed across her cheeks as the muscles at her jaw clench. She pushes out of my arms. And stares at me.

I give her a soft smile.

All of a sudden, she bursts off the bench. A rage unlike anything I’ve ever seen radiates from her gaze.

It’s hatred. Directed solely at me.

“Fuck off, Donovan!”

Oh shit...

David Cross slides next to me and whisper-hisses, “Um, you wanna tone it down? You guys are drawing a small crowd.”

I glance around. Indeed, the guests mingling in the gardens have focused their attention on us.

“Penelope Elaine Ramsay! What is wrong with you?” As always, Miranda Ramsay has to offer her two cents.

The pink of Penny’s cheeks filters to her neck and chest, and she ducks her head. She pulls in a sough. Wiping her cheeks, she clutches her skirt in her fists.

And runs.

“Penny, wait!”

Standing like an idiot with her champagne glass in one hand and her shoes in the other, I have no fucking clue what to do.

“What did you say to my sister?” Colton stalks toward me like a father wielding a shotgun. “I told you she wasn’t okay with all this. She hasn’t healed.”

As Cat takes Penny’s shoes from my hand, I nod. He’s exactly right. This was my fault. He warned me not to mention anything about high school.

I big fat did it anyway.

Penny runs past the gardens, and as I lose sight of her, my entire world crumbles. For a split second, I thought we had it. That we could overcome everything that has happened. That we could finally be together. But now?

I pull in a deep breath, trying to swallow the ache radiating from my heart. It’s crushing my soul. I’ve lost every bit of hope that Penny and I will be able to put the past aside and be together like we should have all along.