It soon becomes apparent that this is Mr. Dowling’s idea of courtship. He doesn’t bother with poems, flowers or chocolates—for him it’s all about electrocution and sharing his twisted thoughts with me.
As my senses go into shock and I lie thrashing on the floor, the clown zaps his own brain and pulls me further into his strange, hallucinogenic mind. He opens up to me, revealing large chunks of his early life, memories of him with his wife and children, at work, reading, swimming. He loved to swim when he was human. He lived in a place where it always snowed heavily in winter, but regardless of that he’d swim in lakes and rivers all year round.
Judging by the style of clothes that I spot in his flashbacks, he’s older than I thought. Then again, it’s hard to judge the accuracy of his recollections. Things get muddled. I’ll be watching him and his wife sitting by an old-style radio, listening to the news, when suddenly a spiky-haired punk will wander by the window, arm in arm with someone wearing a Vote for Obama T-shirt.
If Mr. Dowling is out walking as a young man, the cars that he spots are mostly vintage, but there are modern models mixed in with them, even a few electric cars.
Most of the memories play up his sympathetic, human side. I see him all loving and caring with his family, volunteering in a hospital, helping out in a home for the elderly. There are images of him walking away from people who are taunting him for one reason or another, turning his back on violence. At one point he picks up a dead dog that has been run over and cries softly.
“Yeah,” I sneer. “You’ll cry for a dog, but what about all the people you’ve killed?”
“That’s different,” Mr. Dowling says. He’s wearing the same style suit as when he projected himself into my head earlier, but it’s blue now, not white. “This has become a world of the dead. People don’t matter anymore. It’s hell on earth. We might as well revel in the chaos while we can.”
“That’s why you’re a monster,” I snarl. “You’ve given up on people and treat them like scum. I never will. It doesn’t matter how bad things get, we should never lower ourselves to that level.”