Today I brought a crochet project along with me on a two-hour flight. It’s a lacy openwork in treble crochets, and my hook flew along. The piece in front of me grew at warp speed, and I remembered once again what an instant-gratification jolt I can get from crochet. Luckily the flight wasn’t too crowded, as the ball of yarn jumped off my lap and rolled around under the seats from time to time because of the speed with which the yarn moved through my fingers. It was a new design of mine so I fiddled and fooled, occasionally ripping a bit out, only to rework the area so it looked even better. I crocheted, I took notes on the pattern, and I was happy.
Now? Not so happy. Why? I ran through that 220-yard skein of yarn already and all of its cousin skeins are in the checked baggage. I have a ninety-minute connecting flight and nothing to do! Nothing! Why, oh, why aren’t there yarn stores in airports? Do we really need 1,500 coffee bars? Couldn’t some of that space be used for yarn? There is a freaking children’s museum in this acres-wide airport, but no yarn. Somehow, it doesn’t seem fair.
Sheer statistics should prove that thousands of knitters and crocheters move through a hub airport on any given day—why should the caffeine dependent be catered to more than the alpaca dependent? And actually, giving more caffeine to certain fliers only makes life worse for those around them, whereas giving yarn to the yarn deprived would make them calm and much more pleasant travelers. So my first vote for places yarn stores ought to open up is in the airport, train station, and, yes, even the bus depot.
While I am fantasizing, the next thing I would like to see is a yarn store that is open during the wee hours of the morning, especially in the weeks leading up to major gift-giving holidays. By the time my daughter and I get through homework, real work, dog walking, dance class, garbage-taking-out, a spot of laundry, wolfing down some food, and I have time to sit with my hooks in hand and get some quality time with my crocheting, (a) it is invariably past midnight and (b) I find I am missing some pertinent part, such as the correct size hook or the contrast color yarn. How happy would I be to zip over to a yarn store at 1:00 A.M. to get what I need. In the later hours, I suspect the clientele would primarily be insomniacs happy to have something to do other than worry about the fact that they aren’t sleeping. And an open store would be a boon for absentminded last-minute gift finishers who are always short on something with four hours to go. Think of the hundreds of boxes that could be opened on birthdays and winter holidays that would contain actual finished gifts rather than oddly shaped swatches, hooks, and partial skeins of yarn. Holiday joy would increase exponentially for all.
When I get in my more reclusive crafting jags, what I wish for is a yarn store that would deliver. Yeah, I know about Internet shopping and all, but that takes a few days until the fiber is in my hands. What I really wish for is a place I could call up and say, “I need three skeins of 100 percent wool worsted weight in a dark blue,” and then someone would bring it by the same day. Maybe the delivery person would bring a couple of different choices, and I could take the one I wanted and send the others back. I would tip for that. I might even want that job—can you imagine the look of delight you would receive when you showed up on someone’s doorstep with the yarn she needs? You would be better loved than the ice-cream truck guy on a hot summer day!
The last yarn store idea I think would be cool has actually been attempted in the past, although it seems to me the company I am thinking of disappeared off the face of the earth with barely a splash. Think Mary Kay or Tupperware—home shopping party-plan yarn buying! Instead of a makeover, we party hosts would get the opportunity to swatch with new yarns, and we wouldn’t ever have any problems getting our friends to attend. A couple of yarny party games (Name this fiber! Guess what size hook this is!), some refreshments, some shopping, and a good time would be had by all.
Okay, yarn store owners, discuss among yourselves. They are calling my flight. I hope they have some recent magazines or it’s going to be a long ninety minutes.