I spent the rest of the day in the apartment trying to cater to Amy’s every whim and desire, and I let her eat anything she wanted, which wasn’t much apart from sweets and crisps as I had very little proper food in the flat. She seemed to have shrugged off her illness pretty well. I just assumed that the recovery rate of children at her age was very fast.
As the day wore on I noticed she was more tired than usual and, I thought, painfully thin. Pauline arrived later and brought lunch for everyone, guessing correctly that I would have no food in the flat. Pauline cuddled Amy and said she looked fine and would soon regain any weight she’d lost.
After lunch Pauline left to go shopping, as her boyfriend was due home the following day and they had booked into a romantic country house hotel for a few days.
I had managed to clear up all the mess and, apart from a bizarre lack of glasses and the odd strange dent in the plasterwork here and there, it was hard to tell anything had happened. Only one cupboard full of crockery had been smashed. Another identical sized cupboard still had a full complement of plates and bowls. I wondered who the landlord had in mind when he had purchased all this stuff. My iPad was inoperable and I would need to get another one, but apart from that I tried to put the whole incident to the back of my mind.
I hadn’t said anything to Pauline about the break-in, and if I managed to buy some new glasses over the next day or two, I might not mention anything. The knowledge might have made her a little uneasy if I needed her to babysit Amy in the apartment for me.
After Pauline left I got my daughter settled down for her afternoon nap on the couch. She was still clutching her precious teddy tightly to her chest. She’d not let go of it since we’d got out of the car earlier that morning. We had made the bear at the Bear Factory the week Lindsay died. The bear’s birth certificate said it was a female bear called Joy. Amy called her Teddy. I couldn’t help staring at her face – Amy not the bear, though that had a pleasant face too. It was peaceful with slumber and I was so thankful to have Amy back home with me. I had been so sure that she was going to die. . . . The thought made tears spring into my eyes again. Thankfully, to spare me any more painful recollections, my mobile vibrated on the kitchen table. I didn’t recognize the number, but answered it anyway.
‘Mr Hunter, this is Detective Sergeant Mokes, from the other day?’
‘Oh hi. Yes of course, I’m sorry once again for wasting your time.’ I was apologizing a lot lately.
‘Don’t worry about it, I was just giving you a quick call, as I’m about to close the file on your case and I wanted to make sure you didn’t want to press any charges. I realize you weren’t at your best yesterday.’
I didn’t want to press anything. I just wanted to forget about it all. ‘Thanks for your call, Detective, but I’m just trying to put it all behind me – so no, I don’t want to take it any further.’
‘OK Mr Hunter, that’s fine, I just had to check. One more thing before I go. I know you probably haven’t had a chance yet, but I would definitely recommend you get your locks changed.’
‘Thanks, yes I will.’ I meant it as well, but on my list of things to do it was around number seventeen or something.
Later that evening, once Amy was sound asleep in bed I muted the TV, sat on the couch with my phone and tried to psyche myself up to make some calls. I was going to try and fix some of the mess I’d got myself into. I hadn’t always been a confident but incompetent womanizer. My first serious girlfriend at school looked like Eric Bristow in drag – for those who can remember the famous dart player in his pomp. For those who can’t: Google him circa 1983 and imagine the addition of a flowery dress and a black wig and you are somewhere near Diane, my first love. Maybe she was still single and available. . . . On reflection I’d probably be better off single.
Firstly I tried to get hold of Amanda. Her phone rang out and after four rings went to voicemail. I was relieved and left a message apologizing and followed up with a text. I had no illusions about resurrecting our relationship, nor did I want to.
Next I tried to phone Molly. When she had visited me at the hospital I wasn’t in any position to judge or deal with her mood, or take on how things were between us. Given she came to me in my darkest hours I assumed that all was not lost between us, but I was well aware of how I had betrayed her and didn’t deserve any second chances. I only got through to her voicemail too. I left a message for her to call me and was secretly relieved she didn’t pick up as I had no idea what to say to her. For the same reason, I didn’t text her.
Lastly, I pulled up Jamie’s number from my contact list and hit ‘call’. It rang for a moment before I heard his voice. ‘Well Andy, you are the last person I thought I’d hear from. How’s Amy?’
At least he had the decency to ask.
‘Much better, thank God. She only came home this morning.’
There was silence for a moment. I was first to speak.
‘Listen Jamie, I don’t expect you to understand – I’m not sure myself what’s been going on in my life for the last few weeks – but if it makes you feel any better nobody is speaking to me. . . .’
‘Serves you right.’ I could hear the bitterness in his voice. I couldn’t blame him, but I wasn’t about to let him have all the moral high ground.
‘Look, Jamie, I’m sorry about what happened but—’
‘You mean you’re sorry you got caught.’
Was that what I meant? I wasn’t sure. I had wanted time to decide who I liked best between Amanda and Molly and with hindsight it was obvious who was suited to me, who was the natural choice. At the time I’d got caught up in it all. My ego had carried me away.
‘Maybe you’re right, Jamie, I was in a situation I was not equipped to deal with. Shagging about is more your style than mine.’ Jamie didn’t respond but I knew the barb had hit home. ‘Anyway, I’m just phoning to let you know that nobody is speaking to me and I can’t say I blame them, but I can’t change what happened and to be honest, the last few days with what has happened with Amy has given me a whole new perspective on things.’
I chose my next few words carefully. ‘I didn’t plan what happened with Molly, we just went for a chat and hit it off. I guess if you’d never cheated on her then none of this would have happened.’
I wasn’t trying to deflect my guilt in any way, but I wanted him to know that he was partly responsible.
There was anger in his voice. ‘I know that, Andy, I’ve tried to tell myself things would have been OK if that stupid Polish bitch hadn’t sent that email to Molly in the first place. I still don’t know why she did that.’
I knew the stupid Polish bitch was oblivious and I hoped Jamie never found out otherwise. He sighed and there was resignation in his voice. ‘I think that Molly and me were just about finished anyway. Maybe we could have fixed things but I doubt it. What made me really mad was when she told me about the two of you. You should have told me, not her.’
‘I know that, Jamie, I just couldn’t find the words or anything. I was going to eventually.’
The word ‘eventually’ hung in the air for a moment.
Once again I broke the silence. ‘One more thing, Jamie, have you still got the spare set of keys to my apartment?’
‘No, I didn’t take them. I left with Molly a short time after you rushed out. I gave the keys to Amanda. She said she had to get her stuff together and would lock up when she left.’
I thought that was what had happened but I just wanted to be sure.
I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so simply said, ‘OK, Jamie, thanks, you take care of yourself.’
He snorted down the phone. ‘Yeah sure, Andy.’
I was left listening to dead air.