the female is me, ripping off this skin and trying to make the
perfect empanada.
passive tense because who did the lodging?
or was it self-inflicted lodging? victim
is suffering. victim pronounced dead on arrival.
lodge big. lodge for the forgotten ones. lodge like it’s 1995.
would be nice to advance and upgrade but i’m just not feeling it today!
also then i can’t claim to be marginalized so, uh, whatever.
in the future, i am not Spanish or Latina or Latinx instead i am:
H I S (P A N I C) E D
-ED because past tense because colonialism. as in, my identity is something that happened to me.
-PANIC to acknowledge crippling anxiety, lol
here is a haiku:
somewhere in the world
there is a cishet white man
apologizing
that is a haiku and i will get the attention i deserve.
i want to turn the meat sack i live in into something more efficient
something that pops up toasted bread and tells you what’s trending today
how many ways can i pull off my brand?
i have tweezers, sharp keys, an x-acto knife.
i’m okay with living
with the gaping wound and then the scar tissue and the story to have prepared
when people point and say
what happened there?
my work is all puns stapled together into the shape of a woman
who is really listening to you and laughing at all the right times
i’m sorry this isn’t about my mom’s accent enough
or the way my father dilutes it
i’m sorry this isn’t about the ten occurrences of microaggressions i can think of off the top of my head
(are you with him or the cleaning service?)
(i’m just as dark as you in the summertime so people think I am Colombian)
(you’re smarter than the other Latinos in this class)
okay so maybe like, three?
another haiku:
somewhere in the world
Lena Dunham is naked
apologizing.
my bad, you asked me to make this more political and aggressive.
so, i’m turning the phrase it’s up to you i’m down for whatever into a machete
and hacking at an ATM until i can pay the train fare it took me to get here. thanks!
realizing that all my life i’ve been trying to look like Selena?
is Selena the hole that’s been carved out for me? i can jam
my body through it but i’ll probably fall to the other side.
is my body Selena-adjacent?
the female is 23, hispanic(ed), with a bullet wound to the back.
the female is 45, hispanic(ed), crying in her car with a gun.
the female cannot have a lover if she is busy finding herself.
the female cannot have a lover if she is busy finding herself!
the female killed her best friend, because only one woman can exist at a time, whoops!
honestly so sad that she’s dead but like, what if she lived long enough to like a tweet from a pro-life organization idk?
i am deep inside now, with my fists, no gloves on!
i am doing everybody a favor!
the future is right past my reach and the size of a walnut!
the future is an illusion and i am
stuck picking our fingernails in the present.
the future is telling me to hold my identity still
so i am going to dig back into the past where it just started shaking.
the future snores in my neck and loves me back!
no, that is too much to ask of the future!
yes, the future thinks about other people! you can’t stop that!
the future is in my hands now and won’t stop making noise!
can someone help me turn it off? please.
my last haiku, i promise:
somewhere in a room
i am making a bad choice
for no good reason
You should never
bring
somebody back
from the dead.
Hasn’t everybody seen
the remake
of Pet Sematary?
Jesu Christo.